Hello and happy Wednesday! Thank you all so much for all love and support you have given me one this. I know I say this every week but I really do mean it and I love you all!

And, with the holiday season coming up next week, yikes, I will try and get the next chapter as soon as possible. It will most be up after Christmas.

who am i really: Aw, sorry…and nothing…

kicklover24: I know right…haha, it's definitely be a challenge and you so can! I know, I love the heart pendant and he really was, huh. You are too sweet and thank you so much! Hehe, you might have said it once or twice!

Vicky2015: Aw, thank you so much!

its all in the best: Aw, yay! Thank you and don't you worry…haha, I loved putting them in there and he definitely does!

Kickfeaver: Well, we still got a few more things my friend but you can count on something!

Jade: It's all good and thank you! Oh, don't worry about the drama…I got you! And haha, I know right! I think we all can to some extent.

Kickinfan321: It was and thank you! Yeah, it kind of was, sorry about that. I think I just wanted to focus more on the Christmas scene.

Maddyliza1234: Thank you and you'll just have to wait and see.

Shaoor: Aw, thank you. You're too kind!

Guest: Well, here it is…

Shoutout: I'm glad I caught you off guard and you'll find out very soon!

Lover: I know and don't you worry...you know me…thank you!

Alexis1999: Thank you and you'll just have to wait to fine out!

Enjoy!


Awkwardness. That's what has become of our relationship. It's been a week since I told Jack about my early acceptance to NYU and we haven't talk since. We've been avoiding each other to avoid the matter. Never in my life did I ever expect this. Yeah, it's only been a year and a half since I even thought about college and yet, somehow, without my knowledge, my mother applied to a few other schools, hoping to broaden my horizon. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm grateful or everything's she's done for me and all the support she's given to me, but this was the one decision I never wanted to make. To go to my dream school early, living a new life and leaving my boyfriend behind because let's be real, long-distance relationships are never easy. Or, to stay here and choose another school? It's times like this that it sucks to grow up.

OoOoOoOo

I'm sitting in front of my window, thinking about everything I need it figure out as there's a light knock on my door. Too lazy to get up, I yell, "It's open," to whoever is other side of the door as it quickly opens and then closes. Not in the mood for conversation, I continue, "What do you want?"

"I want to know what's going on with you and my brother," the voice replies, calmly but forcefully.

I instantly turn my body around to see Viviana standing there in front of my door with her arms crossed across her chest. My mouth opens and then closes as I can't find the right words to say because this will be Viviana's first time hearing the news. "Nothing," I finally mumble, turning back to look out my window.

"That's a bunch of bullshit and you know it," Viviana growls. "I finally like you guys together and now, the two of you aren't even talking. What the hell!"

"It's complicated," I answer dumbly.

"Complicated my ass. Did Jack do or say something to screw this up?" Viviana questions, surprisingly blaming her brother first.

"No, he didn't do anything," I murmur. "It was me."

"You?" Viviana coughs out in disbelief. "What could you have possibly done to make my brother sulk in his room?"

"I, god, um, this isn't how you were supposed to find out," I groan, rubbing my forehead and turning to face Viviana properly.

"Kim, what's going on? You're scaring me now," Viviana responds, watching my behavior.

"What I tell you was supposed to be good news. So please, don't overreact," I warn with seriousness in my voice.

"Okay," Viviana nods before glaring at me and shouting, "Lord, tell me you're not pregnant!"

"Oh My God," I shriek, stunned and embarrassed. "No, I'm not pregnant. I'm only 17."

"So, there are a lot of teen pregnancies these days," Viviana points.

"Okay, I get it," I mutter. "But don't worry, I'm not."

"Alright. So, what's the news?" Viviana pushes.

"I got an early acceptance into NYU," I say, taking a deep breath.

"What! Oh my God. That's great!" Viviana cheers, rushing over to give me a hug.

"Thanks," I smile with relief.

"So, why are you guys fighting over this? This is amazing," Viviana inquires with a raised eyebrow.

"Honestly, I don't know. I think we're both just scared. This could change everything," I retort, shrugging my shoulders.

"I get that. But seriously, it's just another bump in the road. You guys can do the whole long distance thing. And, with all the technology around you can always talk, Skype, FaceTime. This isn't the worst thing in the world," Viviana tries to reason with me.

And, in a way, she's right. Sure it'll be different at first but hey, we've been through worse things. "You know what Viv, you're right," I settle. "Thank you."

"Aw, thanks. You're welcome," Viviana beans. "And, you know I'm always here for you. Even when I'm stubborn and don't show it. It doesn't matter if you're with my brother or not, we're friends first.

"That we are," I nod. "You know, for all those times I wished to have a normal life, looking back, being stuck in bed or in my house doesn't seem that bad now."

"Welcome to the real world," Viviana announces. "And hey, I know you have a lot to think about but, talk to Jack soon, okay. He hasn't been the same since last week. Which, I'm assuming is when you told him."

"I promise I'll talk to him soon. I just, need a few more days," I state.

"Of course," Viviana smiles. "Well, I'll let you get back to your thinking, moping or whatever you're doing. We'll talk in a few days, yeah?"

"Definitely. I'm sure you'll be dying to know what happens," I tease as she gives me one last hug before exiting my room.

As soon as the door closes, I fall back on my bed and stare at my ceiling, wishing for a sign, or anything really that could help me make the right decision.

OoOoOoOo

Over the next two days, I stay in my room, reading my books, thinking about college and Jack and rereading the letter I got in the mail. Everything was happening so fast and as the days went by, I was afraid I was going to make a mistake I messed everything up. By Monday, I finally decided I couldn't put this off any longer so, I got my keys and drove to Jack's. I had a few speeches in my mind as I practiced them on the ten minute drive.

Upon arriving down the street, I see Jack's car along with Viviana's and another black sports car as pull in back of the black car, mumbling the end of my speech. Quickly gathering my thoughts and courage, I get out of the car and make my way to the front door, this small journey seeming the longest walk to my destination. Ringing the doorbell twice, yelling and footsteps could be heard as the door suddenly swings open to reveal a pissed off Viviana. "Thank God you're here. It's about damn time you got your ass out of your house," Viviana grunts, pulling me inside.

"Viv, what's wrong?" I ask nervously.

"Oh, nothing. It just seems like now Jack has turned into a hermit," Viviana motions to the upstairs. "Even Jerry can get him out."

"Really?" I mumble feeling guilty.

"Yep, really," Viviana nods. "But hey, don't feel guilty. It's not your fault. It's just something that popped up at the wrong time."

"Yeah, I guess that's one way to look at it," I sigh. "I'm going to try and talk to him."

"Good idea. I think he really needs you more than anything right now," Viviana smiles. "Good luck."

"Thanks," I finish, giving Viv a small smile before sliding past her and walking up the stairs.

The ten seconds feel like an hour as once I come to Jack's door, Jerry's voice breaks me out of my thought and I'm focusing on their conversation. "Bro, come on. You haven't left your room in a week. And, you're starting to smell," Jerry shares.

"Fuck off," Jack moans.

"No, I'm not going to leave until you pull your shit together and talk to her. I know this wasn't what you expected in a relationship, but no one ever said relationships are easy. They take work, commitment and communication. I'm sure once you talk to Kim, you'll figure everything out," Jerry assures Jack.

"First off, when the hell did you get so smart and philosophical? And secondly, there's nothing to talk about. Kim got an amazing offer and who wouldn't take it?" Jack shouts out in frustration.

"Well, thank you for calling me smart. I guess college really is paying off. And, there's a lot of reasons why Kim may not take it. Her health, her family, her friends, the new lifestyle, and you. Nothing is black-and-white," Jerry points out.

I chuckled to myself at Jerry's counter argument as he's right. There's a lot of things I still need to look at before I make my final decision, that's in about two and half weeks. Finally putting Jack out of his misery, I knock twice on the door, pausing the guys' conversation. "Go away Viv!" I hear Jack yell before I hear footsteps getting louder and louder.

Suddenly the door opens to reveal Jerry whose eyes are wide in shock. "Hey Jerry," I whisper softly.

Without a response, I'm pulled into the room and embraced in a tight hug. "Thank god you're here," Jerry mumbles into my ear.

"I know. Thank you for trying with him," I compliment.

"Of course. I'm always here to help my brother out," Jerry comments with a smile. "And, I hope everything works out for the two of you."

"Thank you," I nod. "Me too."

Jerry swiftly slides past me and closes the door behind him as I walk further into the room to see Jack staring up at his ceiling. Not knowing how to approach the situation, I clear my throat and say, "Jack" softly, not wanting to scare him.

Immediately, he sits up and is staring right at me with shock and confusion all of his face. "What are you doing here Kim?" Jack chokes out, trying to stay strong.

"I'm here because we need to talk," I reply calmly, taking a few steps closer to the bed.

"There's nothing to talk about Kim," Jack sighs. "You need to take the offer."

"Why? Why do I need to take it," I push with a raised eyebrow.

"Why wouldn't you take it? You'd be stupid not to. This is your opportunity to get out into the real world and make the difference you always talked about. And, on top of it all, you earned it. You worked so hard to get here. And now, this is your chance," Jack lays out.

"I get that. And, I know I'm lucky. But, what about everything else?" I counter.

"Like what?" Jack questions.

"Oh, I don't know, us for one thing", I snap. "And what about graduation with my friends and enjoying these last few months before college. If I take this offer come I'll be jumping right into it without knowing anything."

"We'll, we'll be fine," Jack tries to play it off as if he believes what he saying. "Graduation is overrated. I mean, I get that that's the last moment of high school but really, you could do without it. And everyone jumps into college. Even with all the preparation you're never fully be prepared, I told you that before".

"I know you did but it doesn't make me feel any more comfortable with the situation," I sneer. "And, excuse me for wanting the whole high experience. Because, in case you forgot, this is my first graduation."

"I didn't forget. How could I forget when it's all you ever talk about," Jack barks.

"Screw you. It's like you're intentionally picking a fight with me," I cry, taking a step back; realization hitting me like a ton of bricks. "Because if we fight, then we'll break up and it'll make this whole thing a lot simpler, right? You're such an ass and coward. Taking the freaking easy way out. Now, I can see why you don't do relationships. Thank you for making this so much easier. Goodbye Jack," turning on my heels, walking out of the room and slamming the door behind me.

I cried all the way home and still didn't know what to do. The situation becoming bigger by the second and was like life was a maze as every wrong step made things even worse.

OoOoOoOo

The next day, the constant knocking on my door forces me to get up. Annoyed and heated, I swing my door open only to slam it shut. The door opens again and the person pushes themselves into my room as I violently push and punch them backwards. "Get out, get out, get out," I repeat over and over again, sending blow after blow to their chest with all my strength.

The person takes all the hits and blows before grabbing my hands in theirs and brining me close to them and hugging me. "I hate you. I hate you so much," I sob into their chest, gripping the back of their shirt.

"I know. I hate me too. And, I hate that I hurt you when I promised I wouldn't. I know that this isn't a valid reason but this whole thing just messed with my head," they admit.

"How's it messing with your head?" I wonder pulling back to look them in the eyes.

"Because it's why I didn't do relationships in the first place. The breakups are always messes and saying goodbye is even worse," they answer.

"Jack, I get it. You never want the back and heck, who would?" I remark. "But you do know that we might have had to say goodbye later, right?"

"I know and I was preparing myself for that. But, only having weeks was kind of a punch to the gut," Jack sighs. "Because the truth of the matter is that I'm undeniably in love with you, it's insane. This sounds super mushy but you broke down every single wall I had up about relationships. You trusted me when you barley knew me and you love me past all my faults. And I was, am, well, um, scared of losing you."

"Oh Jack, you'll never lose me," I comfort him. "But, I'm glad in the one who has this effect on you. And hey, we can work through this. If I decide to go, that is."

"Kim you're still not sure. Why?" Jack inquires.

"Because, I've never expected something like this to happen to me. I was just getting us to this new life. And now, I'll have to pack up move across the country; leaving everyone I love and care about behind," I mumble.

"But, also think about all the cool things that can come from this. Like you're going to be in college. You're going to be in a new city and have new adventures. And come on, it's New York for crying out loud," Jack reminds.

"Yeah, I know. It's New freaking York," I grin. "But, it also sounds like you're trying to get rid of me."

"No, I would never want to get rid of you," Jack promises. "But, I don't want you to stay here either because of me. I don't want you to resent me later on and think back of what could have been."

"I would never resent you Jack, never," I speak truthfully. "You see, the beauty of being sick for so long is that you get to appreciate the little things in life. You realize you don't have time for hate and you learn to take what's given to you. I know you only want what's best for me. But sometimes, the best things are the things you already have. I know this a big decision and I've spent hours upon hours talking with my parents about this, but I would also like us to really talk this through."

"Yeah, okay. I think that's a great idea," Jack nods as we have a whole new conversation started.

Jack starts listing of all the pros of college and New York, hitting on all my weak spots. Telling me all the opportunities I'll have. All the awesome classes offered and expressing how my drive and passion will push me forward. Of course, the topic of food comes up and how you could never go wrong with all the popular restaurants they have to offer by world-class famous chefs.

I naturally, being the Debbie downer of the two, hit upon the subject of again, missing graduation. But, I'd also miss my friends, my support group and doctors. It would be hard switching my lifestyle around in such a small amount of time. And, the most important, him. "Kim," Jack says, tenderly grabbing my hand and pulling me close to him as we sit opposite of one another on my bed. "I know it'll suck to be a part. But, like I said before, we'll be fine. It'll be an adjustment, a huge adjustment but it doesn't change how I feel about you. It won't make me love you any less."

"But, what if we drift apart?" I wonder sadly.

"Hey, let's not think that far ahead, alright? We'll take this one step at a time with whatever you decide," Jack promises.

"When did you become the wise one out of the two of us?" I lightly chuckle.

"I've always been wise. It's just that I tend to speak before think," Jack points out, lightening the mood. "And, you need to know that I'll love you no matter what you decide Kim, okay. We've been through too much to give up now."

"I love you too," I beam. "I never expected to fall in love at seventeen. Let alone with a blunt jerk of a jock. But, I'm glad it was with you. Thank you, for everything."

"I would take offense if it wasn't the truth but, at least you can say that I give off an interesting first impression," Jack winks. "But you're welcome. I'm glad I got to love you too. Thank you for giving me a chance?"

"I would have been stupid not too. And, I guess you can say that we we're both lucky," I finish, snuggling into Jack's chest as we lay down on my bed in each other's arm.

OoOoOoOo

That night, I have a dream that blended with the old, the new, the past and present. I see myself dressed in a cap and gown, surrounded by my friends and family. But then, I see myself in a new house, rushing around and grabbing all my things. In the next image, I see myself, Jack, Viviana, Jerry, Kelly, Reagan and Winny all in someone's back yard, laughing and having a great time that quickly turns into me surrounded by another group of people, smiling and chatting away as we walk through a huge campus. I also see myself driving to visit Jack on my summer break before I leave, with the picture changing to me in a class and working on assignment and my eyes widening in awe. And lastly, I see our last summer beach party before we go our separate ways with the last thing I see is me walking around New York in stylish clothing and a huge smile on my face.

I suddenly jerk awake to see my clock reading '11:42' and I let out a groan before turning to my right to see Jack's pervious spot empty and replaced by a note that reads, "Kim, it's about 10:30 and I just wanted to let you know that I left to go grab some brunch. Don't worry, I didn't leave you. I just didn't want to wake you, you looked too peaceful. Anyway, hopefully you're up before I get back. Love, Jack."

Quickly stretching and getting out of bed to change into something else besides sweatpants and a t-shirt, I grab a pair of jeans and a long sleeve shirt and make my way to the bathroom to freshen up before Jack returns.

Upon exiting the bathroom, Jack reenters my rom with a bag and tray. "Morning Kimmy," he grins happily.

"Good morning Jack. What's all this?" I ask curiously, walking over to give him a kiss on the cheek and take the tray out of his hand.

"This, my amazing girlfriend is the breakfast I told you about. There are bagels, pastries and fruit. Your mom gave us some orange juice and water and, I don't think that was a proper hello," Jack smirks.

A small smile appears on my lips as I shake my head but lean up to kiss him on the lips. With the food bag still in his hand, Jack's grips my waist to hold me close to him and kisses me longer, not wanting the moment to end. His tongue swipes my bottom lip, wanting access as I give in too quickly and we're now in a heated make out session that's nothing short of perfect.

Once we pull apart, smiles grace our faces and Jack pecks my lips one last time before walking me over for 'breakfast in bed'. He pulls everything out of the bags as we immediately starting eating, the silence comfortable and sweet. After our stomachs are full and happy and the food is pretty much gone, Jack throws all our trash on the tray and takes my hands in his, grabbing my attention. "So, how'd you sleep?" he wonders caringly, playing with my fingers.

"Not too bad, I guess," I murmur, still trying to make sense of it all.

"Are you any closer to a decision?" he inquires.

"Yeah, I think I am," I smile. "But, I still need a few days to, you know, make sure I'm really making the right decision."

"That's understandable and, good for you. I'm proud of you, you know," Jack replies, with a heartfelt grin.

"Thank you. That means a lot," I respond, kissing his cheek.

We spend the rest of the day together, not talking about my decision, but just relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Living in the moment without distraction as over the next few nights, the same dream occurs. Me here, with my friends and me in New York, living another life. Both are amazing and ones I want to live.

OoOoOoOo

After much consideration, I finally dialed the number that officially holds my fate. "Hello?" a voice answers.

"Hi, I'm calling for Laura Hastings," I reply nervously.

"This is Laura. How can I help you?" she asks in sweet tone.

"This is Kim Crawford. I'm calling regarding my early admission," I tell her, my palms beginning to sweat.

"Oh yes, Kim. It's so good to hear back from you. Have you made a decision?" Laura questions interestedly.

"Thank you and thank you for this amazing offer," I say, expressing my gratitude. "And yes, I have come to a decision," feeling my heart beating out of my chest.


And there you go folks. Please R&R and let me know what you think.

Please let's try for 310 before the next chapter. And, remember, it may be after Christmas.

Thanks and until next time,

Missy xx