Summary: Dipper hated fairytales.

Pairing: Billdip and Dipeon (both one-sided?)


Glass and Gold

Dipper hated fairytales.

Always, it seemed, the girl would be some damsel in distress, destined to die until some hot guy came and save her. Either prince charming would be a knight in shining armour, come to slay a dragon or the weirdo who'd kiss the princess to wake her from some deep slumber. Geeze.

Dipper hated the Cinderella fairytale the most.

Mostly because he fit Cinderella's role a little too well.

Grasping the rim of the metal container, he hauled himself out of the dumpster and tumbled to the pavement. He groaned and wiped a hand across his face, accidentally smearing a sticky liquid further across his cheeks.

"Gross." He shuddered and curled his lip. "Stupid curse."

Long ago, back when he was a tween, he'd accidentally upset a wizard. Really, all he'd done was break into the wizard's home and shatter the wizard's Mirror of Mysteries. As a result, the man cursed him with seven years of bad luck. By the end of seven years, he'd be doomed to die by some ridiculous means. Probably via slipping on an ice cube or something equally dumb.

But hey! The dude was gonna try to force Mabel to marry him! He couldn't just idly sit by and let the creep do that! Urgh. To break the curse he'd have to achieve the impossible–marry a prince or a princess, and who'd want to marry him? He couldn't ever get so much as a date, let alone a long term relationship.

Back to the present, Dipper shook himself from his thoughts. As per usual with his cursed luck, a bunch of jerks had tossed him into the dumpster. Geeze. Stop a thug from stealing some girl's purse and they beat him up and throw him in the trash. Dickwads.

Standing, he patted his reeking jeans and sighed. Whew. The jerk didn't steal his packet of chalk. Without the need to return to the crafts store, which he'd been walking out of when he'd helped the girl, he walked out of the back-alley and headed to the Mystery Shack.

He'd been cursed when he was twelve and now he was nineteen. Time was running out but he had a plan.

Cinderella had a fairy godmother, didn't she?

Who's to say he couldn't have one?

If one wouldn't appear to him, then he'd make one come to him.

Ignoring the scrunched faces and individuals steering clear of his stinking figure as he strode down the street, he picked up the pace, thinking. He'd scanned through so many books but earlier that day he'd finally found a potential summoning entry. The only missing material that he'd recently retrieved was some chalk.

Minutes passed until he arrived at the Shack and swung open the door. Rushing past his shouting uncle, he sped to the attic and into his and his sibling's room.

Finally. He could finally break the curse.

Whipping out the chalk from his back pocket, snatching a bag of candles, and grasping a tattered red journal, Dipper sprinted out of the room, out of the building, and into the woods. Once out of sight of the Shack, he dumped his materials in a clearing. Dropping to the grass and flipping open the book, he set to sketching the summoning symbols on the ground with chalk.

The teen finished the drawing and placed eight candles around the circle, double-checking the journal, and grinned. Now to recite the foreign language. Latin, maybe?

He worked his mouth around the words. "Triangulum, entangulum. meteforis dominus ventium. meteforis venetisarium!"

The world seemed to still and slow as the color drained from the world to shades of gray. Dipper gasped when light flashed from the middle of the summoning circle and a man in a tuxedo appeared. The blond raised a brow upon spotting the filth coated teen.

Inhaling, the man recoiled. "Oh, ew, kid, you reek. Summon me incorrectly and you have the nerve to be covered in crap. I outta–"

"Are you a fairy god...dude...bro…? Fairy god-guy?" Dipper stammered, eyes wide.

Whoa. He didn't know there were fairy god-guys! Weird. But hey! He could finally get rid of the damn curse.

The stranger snickered then straightened. "The name's Bill Cipher. What do you need?"

"Ah, uh, well, I'm Dipper and, uh..." The teen fumbled with his words before clearing his throat. "I've been cursed with seven years of bad luck that'll end in death. To break the curse, and stay alive, I need to marry someone of royalty."

Bill placed a hand beneath his chin and chuckled. "I'll make that happen, in exchange…" The fairy god-guy outstretched a gloved hand. "I'll get something of value in return."

Dipper hesitated. "I don't have–"

"You will as a prince."

Dipper grinned and accepted the handshake. His eyes shot wide when blue fire erupted, covering his and the stranger's hands. He tried to pull his hand away but the blond's grip remained firm until the flames diminished. Cinderella didn't have any crazy fire-sealing deals with the fairy godmother, did she?

His stomach churned but he pushed the warning flares aside. Whatever. He'd be fine, wouldn't he? He always would be in the end! Reassured, he sucked in a breath.

"So…" Dipper began. "Where do we find a princess?"

~oOo~

Notes:

New Reader: I'm sensing you're ruby1334? Ha ha ha, I kNOW WHO YOU ARE NOW MUAHAHAHA! I post random stuff on that blog, just sayin' It would be amazing if Dip and Gideon liked Babba as much as Dipper does!

Djordan: I've never matched Five Nights at Freddy's, ha ha ha I live under a rock. Though it would be funny if Dipper were a security guard...Hmm...What if instead of animatronics, Bill and Gideon were thieves...? Hmm...

DivineOokami: I do know of the MonsterFalls AU! Hmm, I am planning to do a MonsterFalls AU, it's in one of the requests, and it's kinda similar. INstead of vampires, Bill and Gideon are hunters but..hmm...maybe the blonds can be both hunters and vampires who find Dipper in the woods...we'll see!

okokok: *is squished* YOU'RE the too kind one! Ha ha ha!

Thanks for the reviews!