Hi

All this waiting around is killing me. The best Christmas present for me would be a match. Rory and I and Serena weren't even compatible, we all have different blood types, even Serena.

I have asked mother to be tested. Haymitch and Effie offered as did Hazelle and even Kathryn offered to get tested! The only person I haven't asked is Peeta, I haven't even seen him in over a month, not since the funeral. It's not that I don't want to see him, but rather, I can't. I hurt him in a way no person should be hurt. It's not fair.

Christmas in our house is a very dampened occasion. I mean we still have the dinner, the presents and the songs but I don't feel the excitement of last year. Ava's getting worse, her fingernails are tinged blue. She is flushed from medicine, her body isn't strong enough to pump that much blood to her cheeks. I sit up at night and watch her chest rise and fall, convinced that she'll stop if I look away for one second.

One day though, Peeta bursts into my house, his eyes wild. He looks around for a moment and then spots me drying dishes. "Why the hell wasn't I asked?" he demands, waving a piece of paper in front of my eyes. I recognise it, it's the letter the hospital sent my mother saying she wasn't a match.

"Where did you get this?" I breathe, snatching it from his hand.

"It doesn't matter," he dismisses, "All I want to know is, why didn't you ask me to get tested."

"I couldn't," I admit, "I couldn't ask you to save my child's life when I ruined yours. It was unfair."

He looks so hurt, "But what if I wanted to, you didn't give me the chance to say 'yes, I do want to be tested'."

"Why?"

"Because Prim," he explains, "I want to save your daughter's life. I don't hate you for choosing Rory. I want to do something to help."

I consider for a moment, "Fine, Ava has an appointment this afternoon. You can come with me to see if you can get tested."


"I'm not a match," Peeta sighs and even down the phone I can hear the disappointment. His letter must have come back. Bad news comes quick.

"Well thanks for letting me know," I sigh and hang up. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I have exhausted most options. Ava has been put on the register but there is no match. No match at all. I would give anything to have my baby back, she sleeps all day and night. Hardly eats. Too tired to do anything but sleep.

The nights are the hardest. I feel so alone. I watch Ava and Serena sleep and I realise how blessed I am but also how cursed. These two people are the most precious things to me an f I lost one… I think I would go crazy. I miss her, especially at night. Because in the night, I remember sharing a bed with her, feeling her safe arms around me. I miss her so much.

One day in January, all of us are sitting in the warmth of the kitchen. By all of us I mean, me, Rory, Ava and Serena. Rory and I are discussing our other options, what can we do to save our daughter's life. "You know, there is still one person we haven't ask to be tested." Rory says casually, taking a sip of his water.

"Who?" I pounce on his suggestion that there may still be a close match.

"Gale."

I'd be lying if I said that I had never considered Gale as an option. In truth, I wouldn't know how to ask him. He lives in district eleven now. W haven't seen head nor tail of him since the funeral. I can't count how many times I have picked up the phone to call him, only to put it back down again out of fear.

"How would we ask him? We can't just call him up and say 'we know we haven't spoken to you in over two months but we were wondering if you wouldn't mind travelling to district twelve, get your blood tested and potentially have an operation'." I say, getting frustrated at the amused look on Rory's face.

"I'll talk to him," he says, patting my hand, "He is my brother after all." Sometimes I forget they are brothers. Sometimes I look at Rory and see my childhood with Gale. I desperately hope Gale will consent to be tested. He might be a match, a match from somebody related is better, reduces the risk of rejection by the body and infection.

~two days later~

The doorbell rings incessantly. I wipe my hands on my skirt and open it, and there's Gale, nervously running his hand through his hair. "Hey Gale, come on in." I say, opening the door wider. Instead of stepping in, he grabs me into a hug and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry." I know what he's sorry for and I can't deal with this so I pull myself away and lead him to the kitchen.

"Rory told me everything," he says earnestly, "when can I get tested?"

"Ava has an appointment in half an hour, you can come with me and see if you are eligible?" I suggest and he pounces on my suggestion. I laugh at his enthusiasm.


We make it to the doctor's office before Gale starts to panic. I suddenly have the feeling that he is no longer right behind me and I see I am right. He is a few feet behind me, deathly white and about to hyperventilate. "Come on Gale, it's only one tiny needle, you can do it," I encourage and lead him by the hand into the room.

It's two days later when Gale bursts into my house, unannounced. He looks like a child that has gotten his dream. He waves a piece of paper in front of me and I have to snatch it from him to read it. I have to wait for the words to stop swimming before I can. Oh my gosh.

Gale is a match.

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