*** Enjoy everyone - I OWN NOTHING - except for Linney ***

Linney stayed curled up against the back end of the RV for over an hour, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Part of her was furious that it even had, it didn't seem possible that he could jump from checking her out a little too often to attacking her, so quickly. Linney groaned, furious with herself for not stopping it or preventing it, and deeply furious with Shane for doing it. She leaned her head back against the RV and rubbed her shoulders, which were tender and throbbing. She knew that she was going to have a spectacular set of bruises and wondered how she could explain those away.

She eventually grew hot, thirsty, and cramped, and got up, moving on shaky feet to her tent. When she got inside, she kicked her boots off, and flung her hat across the tent, watching it rebound off the soft wall and roll under the bed. She climbed on to her and Daryl's bed, trying to will the feeling of Shane's hands on her away. She counted her own breaths and managed to focus.

Think of the solution, she thought to herself, focus on what you can do. She had to repeat to herself that Merle was not guaranteed to be dead, there was a strong possibility that he would make it out. He was nothing if not resourceful. He promised he'd come back, she told herself, he'll want to prove you wrong, prove he could make it out, that you were overreacting. She thought about the drugs he'd taken, about the looks of distaste most people shot him and moaned in worry, burying her face in her pillow.

Her mind rolled on to her encounter with Shane. She realized now how badly she had misjudged his interest in her. She thought about the vile things he'd said and tried to tell herself that he'd only said everyone thought so badly about her, because he wanted her to keep quiet about his assault. She shivered when remembering the way he'd pressed himself against her, how utterly terrified she'd been that he would rape her or kill her or both, just feet away from the rest of the group. Shoulda pulled my knife on him, first chance I got.

Linney rolled over restlessly, knowing that if she had, if she did now, she didn't stand a chance with this group. They'd force her out. She thought about Carl, about how he'd look at her, the betrayal on his small face. How could she explain to him what Shane had done, why he deserved it? Linney lay on her stomach and buried her head in Daryl's pillow and slowly nodded off, her mind and body reaching new heights of exhaustion.

When the loud whoops of an alarm tore through her sleep addled mind, Linney reached out blindly, trying to smack her alarm off. She sat up with a gasp, realizing she wasn't at home, it wasn't her old alarm clock wailing at her. The sound was gone suddenly and she could hear voices, lots of loud voices. Linney pushed herself to her feet and crammed her boots on. She paused to take a deep swig of the warm water sitting next to the bed, before leaving the tent and walking slowly towards the commotion.

What she saw brought her to an abrupt halt. Carl and Lori were wrapped around a strange man, Carl sobbing ecstatic tears of joy. Linney crept closer, to see who the man was.

"Holy shit," she muttered, realizing who he was from the pictures Carl had shown her. She wasn't even sure how it was possible. Rick was dead, everyone said so, but the proof he was living was right in front of her, kissing his wife's shocked face. Linney's eyes darted around and she saw Morales surrounded by his family, and Amy and Andrea standing together, both of them teary eyed. Linney ran towards them and hugged Andrea tightly.

"Oh my god, Andrea, it's good to see you." Linney lifted her face from Andrea's shoulder and looked up into her tight features. Andrea was staring at her, her expression tense. Linney jumped back, feeling guilty for mauling the woman. She was behaving like Amy would, and that was embarrassing.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to throw myself at you, I'm just so happy and relieved that you're ok!" Linney looked over at Amy and nudged her friend. "See? Told ya it'd be fine." Amy gave her a tiny, forced smile and Linney felt her brow draw down in confusion. She looked over at Glenn and the smile on her face died when she saw his downcast expression and tight posture. Oh Christ, what did Merle do?

She heard a strange voice call her name and turned around to see Rick looking at her, still standing with his family, Carl wound around him so tightly she thought he'd never let go.

"You're Linney?" He asked and she nodded slowly, taking in his sheriff's uniform, which seemed strange and out of place. He gently detached his son from himself and stepped towards her, his face laden with regret and sympathy. Linney shook her head, denying his words before he could say them.

"No, no, no, no, no..." She whispered, backing away from him. He swallowed hard and reached a hand out to rest on her shoulder. Linney looked up at him, beseeching him with her eyes. "Please don't say it," she said, her voice breaking, "don't tell me he's dead." Rick took a deep breath and glanced over at Glenn and T-Dog, who stood close together, and Linney followed his gaze and saw the looks of guilt on their faces so heavy that Linney had to look away.

"He's not dead." Rick finally said. Linney blinked and let out the shaking breath she'd been holding in.

"I don't understand." She said, looking into his intense blue eyes as if she'd find the answer in them. Glenn came and stood next to her, putting a hand on her arm. Linney looked over at him, the confusion on her face and in her mind so thick, she felt like she couldn't understand anything anymore.

"Merle went crazy, Lin." Glenn said, and Linney's stomach twisted. The drugs, the fucking drugs, fuck fuck fuck. "He was shooting at the walkers from the roof of the building, drawing them in." Glenn turned away and ripped his hat off his head and ran his hands through his dark hair, before turning back to her. "He attacked T-Dog, pulled a gun, said he was the leader now. He was crazy, Lin, he'd lost his mind." Linney clenched her jaw and forced herself to focus, to not cry or freak out, as her mind sifted through his words.

Rick touched her arm and she turned back to him, "I disarmed him, handcuffed him to something, to get him to calm down." Linney's eyes opened wide and she looked around at the gathered people.

"Where is he?" She asked, her voice rising in pitch. Rick looked over at T-Dog and then he looked back at Linney. "He's still there, chained to the roof. We had to leave, we were being overwhelmed, T-Dog tried to unlock him, but the key was lost in the heat of the moment. We had to leave, we had to leave him."

Linney's mind felt like it spun upside down, before landing in a sickening lump inside her head. She had images of Merle being eaten alive, chained, unable to free himself, screaming for help, racing sickeningly through her mind's eye. Her stomach roiled lazily at the thought of Merle, her Merle, being torn to shreds, of joining the legions of dead.

Linney clenched her arms across her stomach, feeling queasy, and stumbled back several steps from Rick, shaking her head. Rick slowly approached her and she felt her traitorous lower lip trembling, giving away her immense, building, crushing, grief. Linney tripped as she moved backwards and landed hard on her behind. Amy broke from her sister and ran to Linney.

"Get away! Get away!" Linney yelled, scooting back several feet on the ground before getting to her feet clumsily. She felt the tears coming in earnest then, leaking steadily from her eyes, while she looked around at everyone. She looked to Glenn, T-Dog, Andrea, and then finally Rick.

"How could you just leave him there?! To die! How could you?! Chained like a fucking animal!" She shrieked the last word so loudly that her throat burned. Her watery eyes were moving over all of their faces so quickly, it made her dizzy. Her gaze landed on Carl and saw him hugging his mother, his face twisted in sadness. Sadness for her. Oh Daryl, where are you?

Linney's face finally crumpled and she sank to the ground, sobbing. Mourning the loss of the man who had filled a void she didn't even realize she would need, thinking this new world didn't require certain bonds anymore. No one to call her 'sweetheart' or 'shithead' in that gravelly, arrogant voice. Linney felt a hand on her back and looked up to see Lori there, her own eyes still wet, and she let the thin woman pull her up into a hug.

Linney woodenly walked back to her tent and sat on her bed. Barely aware when Lori began to help her get ready for bed, like a child, pulling off her boots and socks, helping her remove her weapons, her belt, her long sleeved shirt. Linney lay down on her side and Lori briefly rubbed her shoulder before leaving. Linney realized she had been saying, "Please just go," over and over again, until Lori finally did.

That was when she fully and completely allowed herself to grieve, alone, in their dark tent.

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No one expected her to react any differently, but he'd never felt so bad about something in his entire life. Amy was the one who filled him in quickly on the bizarre relationship between Merle and Linney. Rick couldn't understand it. He sat around the warm fire, his son in his lap, his wife curled up against his side and felt a sense of contentment he could hardly believe, despite his sadness for Linney.

He looked across at Shane, who had been sitting silently almost all through dinner and for the hour afterwards they spent companionably around the fire. His friend smiled at him and Rick felt another surge of gratitude for the man; they'd been friends since childhood, but he still never imagined that Shane could have saved Lori and Carl, taken care of them like they were his own.

He glanced over to the Morales family, happily clumped together and Amy cuddled next to her sister. He felt happiness, dizzying, overwhelming happiness, to be among them, to see them together. But when he thought back to the look of absolute devastation on the girl's face, his stomach twisted painfully.

"Her real dad died, turned, tried to kill her. She killed him and then Daryl and Merle found her." Amy paused and laughed, "I don't know if I should be telling you this, but her dad was a drug dealer, I think her life was pretty shitty before." There were murmurs around the fire and Rick thought back to all the cases of abused and neglected children he'd dealt with, and his heart went out to Linney.

"Merle came to steal her dad's drugs, she said that she figured if anyone was left alive in their town, it would be him," everyone chuckled, and Amy continued, "She ambushed them, Daryl and Merle, held Merle at gunpoint, threatening to kill him if they didn't take her with them." Everyone laughed again and Amy looked around at them, before settling her gaze on Rick.

"They agreed to let her come with them obviously, Merle got to take all the drugs her dad left behind, and off they went." Rick nodded, wondering at such an unlikely pair. He had yet to meet the younger Dixon, but what he had heard so far wasn't good. He wasn't looking forward to meeting the man, to telling him what they'd done to his brother. Deserved or not, he felt undeniably guilty about leaving a man chained to the roof to die. Hadn't he lectured Merle about how the living had to stick together? Then they proceeded to sacrifice him to make their getaway.

Amy sighed and tossed a small twig into the fire, "That stupid, crazy redneck loved that girl, though, it was so funny. They were constantly at each other's throats, constantly pushing each other, but they loved every second of it, you could tell."

Dale piped up then, "Does anyone know if Merle had any children of his own?" Everyone looked around and shook their heads or shrugged. Dale stroked his chin and bobbed his head, "Well, I ask, because it occurs to me that they were maybe filling an empty space in each other's lives: she lost a father, he lost a child."

Rick stared at him, feeling his stomach turn again. When Carl snored lightly in his lap, he was distracted, re-focused on his own happiness and he turned to Lori, a soft smile on his face. "Shall we go to bed?"

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For Linney, it was the longest night of her life. Her heart literally hurt when she thought about Merle. Was he alive right now? Was he a walker chained to a roof? Was he laying on the roof, staring up at the sky? She wished she knew exactly where Daryl was, she wanted to find him.

She worried about tomorrow and a whole new kind of sadness rolled over her. His. Daryl and Merle did not always like each other, but they were tight. They loved each other, even if it was only because of shared blood, at times. She was certain that tomorrow would be bad, very, very bad. Linney rolled over and stretched her arm across his side of the bed. For the first time in a long time, he wasn't there at night, neither of them were. She'd been left behind and couldn't think of a single thing to do.

She knew that she still wanted to head to the city, to find Merle, to kill him if he'd turned, or to free him if he was trapped. So, with that thought in mind, Linney got to her feet and dressed, layering on the weapons. She stepped out of the tent and crept slowly through the camp. She moved carefully, staying in the shadows, not wanting the people on watch to see her.

When she made it to the row of vehicles, she went to Daryl's truck, knowing that he'd left the keys on the dash, like most of the other vehicles. Cracking open the door, she searched in the dark and couldn't find the keys. Shane, she thought, he took the keys. She knew immediately, without looking, that the other cars would have their keys gone as well. Linney sat in the dark truck and gave brief thought to going to his tent and somehow taking them.

She sighed heavily; that was not an option, he was dangerous, and for the first time she wondered what Rick's arrival was going to mean for Shane. His driving force, the thing he lived for now, was Carl and Lori. She was nervous as she thought about what that might mean for her. Linney ran her hands along the dash and inhaled the smell of the truck; it smelled comfortingly like Daryl. She lay down on the seat, on her side and stared at the darkness around her.

She didn't cry again, she couldn't, but she fell asleep with her face twisted down into an expression of sadness.

*** Shorter chapter, but I didn't want it to bleed into the next day :) It deserved it's own chapter, hope you liked it - don't worry, weepy Linney doesn't stick around for long. Ass kicking Linney is just around the corner ***