'Without her, nothing makes any sense.'


June 15th, 2016

2:30 PM

Stanford, California

Olivia's POV

I flip on the bathroom light one last time to make sure I collected all my shampoo, conditioner, body wash and other toiletries. The dorm needs to be completely cleared out by tomorrow since we're not coming back once school starts again this fall. We'll officially be sophomores and that idea is crazy to me.

"Did you get everything?" Abby calls from the room.

I turn around and look back at her. "Yeah...hey, Abs, you're going back to Maryland for all of summer, right?"

"Pretty much," Abby duct tapes a box closed. "Why? Do you want me to stop by your dad's place?"

"No," I tell her. Honestly, I do miss my father a little bit. But it's been almost a year since have spoken...nine months to be exact. And I realized that I can, in fact, live without him. It's a challenge and I guess it always will be. But it can be done. I don't know why he made such a big deal out of this in the end and maybe I'll never know. "Have fun back home."

"Thanks, Liv," Abby looks up and grins. "But don't act like you won't have more fun with your boyfriend this summer. What fancy location is he taking you to this time? Does he have a mansion in France I don't know about?"

"No," I pause and smirk. "But he has one in Italy."

Abby rolls her eyes but she's laughing. "But seriously, Liv, don't you miss him? Y'all two are the poster kids for conflicting schedules and long distance relationships."

I walk over and sit down on my bare mattress. "I do miss him, of course. But our relationship isn't that long distance. Our schedules just make it so that we can't visit each other in person and I know it's gonna be that way for a while. Three years to be exact. Maybe down the line, we'll open our schedules up more and we'll always see each other on weekends. We're going to spend most holidays together regardless. It's not much, but it's what we have. It sucks, but I've accepted it."

"That does suck," Abby sighs. "Especially since you guys are so cute together. He literally sends you flowers randomly. How sweet is that?"

"Really sweet," I admit, smiling at the thought.

Fitz is honestly the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. And I am so excited to go see him tomorrow. It was hard to leave him during spring break but I know it's not his fault. It's just the way it is.

Abby pauses. "Liv, I gotta ask...why the hell didn't he just stay at Stanford?"

"He offered to," I tell her, sighing. "He really did. He didn't want me to be alone and he is pretty protective. And we just have fun together so it's hard to be apart...but he wasn't happy here. He has bad memories from his ex fiancée and his father and...well, for Fitz, Stanford is hell. I'm not going to force him back. I want him to be happy. And he wants me to have the best education possible. So this was the compromise. It's kind of tough but he is worth it."

"And he is a really good influence on you," Abby goes on, approving of my answer. "Seriously, Liv. You haven't been smoking...using...you still drink sometimes, but that's just you."

I laugh but I know Abby is right. Ever since spring break, I haven't used drugs or even smoked a cigarette. I still drink but that is only time to time. I have been influenced but every time I saw a bag of cocaine or even got offered some weed at a party, I just thought about Fitz. I remembered how much I loved him. I remembered how much he already worried about me. I remembered how disappointed he would be in me. And it really wasn't that hard to just not to drugs once I remembered that.

"Do you love him?" Abby asks me point blank.

"I do," I tell her with a smile. "He...really means a lot to me."

Abby looks away and I stare at her. "What?"

"Nothing," she whispers, then looks up, smiling too. "I'm just happy you found someone who makes you happy. Because Olivia? These past couple of years, I have been really worried about you. But now I don't have to be. Because I know he'll take care of you."

I think about that and I realize that I'm not worried about either. Because I know he'll take care of me too.

I know he's worried I'll cheat on him. I'm not going to lie - I worry about that too. Not that I'll cheat on him, because I know I won't. But that he'll cheat on me. Let's face it - Fitz is hot and there are so many thirsty girls out there after him. I know he loves me but I worry about that. I really do.


June 15th, 2016

7:05 PM

Los Angeles, California

Fitz's POV

"Hi," I toss my suitcase on the bed and balance my phone between my shoulder and ear. I can't help but smile. My phone calls with Liv are what I look forward to most everyday. "In less than three months, you're going to officially be a college sophomore. How does that feel?"

"It can't be more exciting than you finishing your first year of graduate school," she replies, making me smile even wider. "Anyway, I don't really care that I finished this year. I have three more to go. I'm just excited to see you tomorrow."

The feeling is completely mutual. I have missed Livvy so freaking much and I cannot wait to spend the summer with her. Of course, we only have a month to travel and whatnot since I have summer classes. But i don't care wherever we are - as long as I'm with her.

"I'm excited too, baby," I tell her. "Are you flying in tomorrow? If you haven't already bought your ticket, I can send the money to you and-"

"I already bought a ticket to get down to Los Angeles," she reassures me and I sigh. I know that a few months ago, she got a new job in the financial aid office of Stanford but I still don't love the idea of her working. If it were up to me, she would just not worry about money and focus on her studies. But it's not up to me and I need to stay in my lane. "But, Fitz?"

"Yes?"

Liv pauses. "Can we, like...not stay at your father's place?"

I look around. I wonder if she knows I'm already here. "Baby, in a couple of days we can decide where we want to go. We can go to Palm Springs, Florida, even Italy...wherever you want. But we gotta stay here for a few days until we decide."

"I don't want to be where I'm not welcome," Liv tells me what I already know.

I know she isn't saying this to be bratty or anything. The last time she was here was...problematic to say the least. And I understand that she isn't comfortable. But I need to spend some time with my father too, and I have to stay here in about a month anyway.

"You are welcome," I lie straight through my teeth. I know my father will probably give her a hard time because he doesn't approve of us but I won't let him get too out of line. I'll be there for her and I will take care of her. I won't let anything bad happen. "Don't worry, alright? Everything is gonna be just fine. I miss you."

Liv sighs. "Really? Even with all those party girls you screw when I'm not around?"

I can tell she's joking, so I tease right back. "Even so, you know you're my main party girl. I love you."

"I love you more. I gotta pack, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

After we hang up, I make my way out of my room and into my father's office, where I know he is. We're now on speaking terms but that's about as good as it gets. He still doesn't support me fully going to USC and he could not despise my relationship with Livvy more. Big Jerry doesn't hate her or even me - he just hates the idea of us together. For some inexplicable reason, he had his mind set on Mellie for me. Either way, he knows that Liv is coming and he isn't very happy about that. I don't know specifically what he has against her. Actually, I might have an idea and it has nothing to do with her.

I wave my hand through the thick cigar smoke and sit down in front of him. His eyes are glued to his computer and his hand is latched on to a glass of liquor.

"Speak."

"Hello to you too, Dad." I clear my throat and try to inhale the smoke directly. It's a miracle his lungs aren't shriveled up by now. "I wanted to remind you that my girlfriend is coming by tomorrow."

His eyes don't meet mine. "You're still together?"

"Yes," I roll my eyes. "And I know you know that."

"A man can dream," he says flatly and it takes everything in me not to reach over and punch him in the face. He clears his throat and finally lifts his eyes from the computer. "This thing with this girl...when exactly do you plan on ending it?"

I make my voice reach his level of dryness. "Never. I'm not like you, Dad. I don't hit and quit in less than twenty four hours."

"For the sake of this family, I'm going to forget you said that," my father sets his glass down. "How long is this Olivia girl staying for?"

"Just for a day or two. I'm going to take her somewhere after that...Florida maybe."

"In my beach house?"

I take a deep breath and immediately regret inhaling the nicotine infested air. "You didn't have a problem when it was Mellie staying."

"Yes, well, that was Mellie," he states and I roll my eyes. He keeps talking.

"I don't know how many times I have to explain this to you, Fitzgerald. Olivia may be a beautiful, interesting girl but she is just that. A girl. She isn't a woman, not like Mellie. She is four years your junior and I have to tell you because you will not realize this yourself - it won't work out. It will not last. And if you think it will...well, you are not as smart as I once believed."

I rest my clenched fists on my lap. "The difference between Liv and Mellie is not maturity. It's the fact that I love one and not the other."

"You're twenty three years old," Big Jerry scoffs, as if I don't already know this. "Do you even know what love is, Fitzgerald? And do you even have a good idea of who this girl is?"

"I know Liv," I promise my father. "I know her and I accept her. There isn't anything you could say that would make me love her any less. Nothing, Dad. So don't bother trying."

"Fitzgerald, this girl is-"

I get up immediately. I need to get the hell out of here before my dad says something he can't take back and I have to do something I can't take back.

"Can you just sit down and hear me out?" Big Jerry demands.

Oh my god, is he actually stupid? Why would I sit here and listen to him berate my girlfriend? "No."

"Fitzgerald, sit down right now," Big Jerry inhales. "Sit down! I pay for your education, I pay for your vacations, I pay for everything so you will listen to what I have to say."

I reluctantly lower myself back into the seat. I am literally only doing this because he is family. If I had to support myself, I could. But he is my father. I can hear him out but I can't promise I will listen. "What is it?"

"I want to start out by saying I love you," he sighs and I have to try not to laugh. This is the first time he is saying this to me in God knows how long. "Fitz, I'm serious. I love you and I want the best for you. The last thing I want to see is some girl waltz into your life and take advantage of you. It has happened to me and it hurt me so badly. I don't want the same thing to happen to my son. These girls see boys like you and get dollar signs in their eyes."

I press my lips together. "Olivia is not using me for my money."

"Even if that's true," Big Jerry sighs deeply. "There is still a lot you don't know about this girl."

"Oh, and you do?"

"Yes," my dad says simply. He sighs again. "I took the liberty of looking her up-"

"Are you fucking serious?" I practically spit at him. I can't remember being this angry ever since Mellie told me she lied about the pregnancy. Who gave him the right to look up my girlfriend?

"Watch your language with me," Big Jerry replies evenly. "And yes, I am serious. It's my responsibility to make sure that the people who come into your life have good intentions. So I searched her up. And you're right - Olivia comes from money. Nowhere near as much money as we have, but enough money nonetheless. So she isn't taking financial advantage of you."

"I already knew that," I tell him bitterly. "Are you done now?"

"No," Big Jerry crosses his arms over his chest. "And listen up. I think you may want to know what I did discover."

"Well, you're wrong," I shoot back.

I wonder if he can tell that I'm bullshitting... I actually do want to know what he is talking about. It won't make me love Liv any less, but I am just curious. I know about the sex, I know about the drinking, I even know that she has a history with drugs. Like I told him, I accept her. I accept her flaws. I accept all of her. We've been through a long road of trust issues and I have learned all this hard way. So I know how much our relationship is worth. Still, I want all the cards on the table.

"I'm going to tell you anyways, because again, I love you." He frowns, expecting me to argue. I don't. I should. But I just don't. "It's a video." He presses a link on his computer. "And I think you should see it for yourself."

"No," I suddenly get up. I'm afraid that I'm going to regret seeing this video, whatever it is.

"Sit down and watch this, Fitz."

I leave the room.