Would You Love me If You Knew What I Was?
Chapter twenty-nine: Access Denied
Disclaimer: I don't own bleach nor do I claim to. It pretty much sovereigns over meh, but I call dibs on Yumi, Archer, and my other OC's! So, ha!
Listening to: Ready to Love (YUI)
Reviewers:
Traitor-Hero
KurokamiHaruhi
Sportin' Purple Neck Pillows
Sorry I couldn't put comments. I'm running on borrowed time since i'm not supposed to be on the computer right now. -sweat-
Whew. Finally, after so long it'll be over 5000 words. Actually, this is a new record! I'm so surprised! This is exactly 5,987 words!
In this chapter, you'll see flashbacks that weren't shown in the original storyline. Just so you don't get confused as to what chapter they occurred in or something. –sweatdrop-
Quotes of the chapter:
I didn't think you were that concerned for other. If you have any more good aspects, it would be nice if you showed them. - Nami, How to Produce a Prince
Two days, eighteen hours, four minutes, and thirty-three seconds.
That's how long it took for Miyamoto Yumiko to finally wake up from her ordeal. And still after that, no one was allowed into her room. Of course, there were exceptions. Unohana had access since she was stationed at her division's hospital but practically no one else. Not Renji, not Matsumoto, not the allegedly innocent Ryoka, and definitely not her captain Hitsugaya Toshiro. He had woken up about almost a day after her, but he still was not granted permission.
At first, he was told it was because she was in severe condition
Another person said that she just didn't want to see anyone.
A day later, someone else told him she was probably already dead
Bullshit…
Hitsugaya vowed that he would get in there if it was the last thing he did. He had to.
"Miyamoto-san?" asked a calm voice as the figure curled up in the hospital bed made no move or sign of a greeting. A sigh escaped the visitor as the usual shuffling of bottles and bandages made her lift her head from under the covers.
Unohana sat down beside her and silently asked her to sit up as she gently pulled the covers away. When she did, she saw that the old bandages she wore were soaked with blood, both old and new. The captain frowned deeply.
"You tried to take the open the stitches again?"
The younger girl said nothing and continued to stare down at the sheets, avoiding the other woman's gaze. Unohana carefully took her bandages off, surveying the damage done. Taking a needle and thread, she began to sew the damaged tissue back together after disinfecting the wound and used Kido to help as well. Other than the initial flinch from the feel of the needle, no words were spoken between the two.
"At this rate, you're going to have a scar you know." Unohana tried making a conversation no there was still no answer. After finishing her work, she sighed dejectedly and put the medicines away. "People care about you, Miyamoto-san. It isn't wise to throw that all away for a memory." At the statement, she heard Yumi sigh.
'This is going to be harder than I thought,' Unohana contemplated to herself as she made her way to the door.
"I'll come back in about an hour or so, alright?" The captain turned around to meet Yumi's violet eyes and reassured her. "Okay?"
Yumi looked at her for a moment and strained a smile that hurt Unohana more than it relieved her. Because it wasn't warm, nor was it a sad one.
It was a completely hollow smile.
Hitsugaya groaned and rubbed his eyes as they blinked in a tired fashion. It had felt like a month had passed when he had occupied himself with paperwork. In reality, he had only been working for three days.
Three freaking days he couldn't sleep
No matter what he did, his body would reject sleep. No matter how tired he was, no matter how dark the bags under his eyes got, he was never able to give in a wink.
The last of the paperwork neatly stacked in the corner of the desk and he stood up to get a glass of water. As soon as he got close to the door, he saw the room right across from his office open. Curiosity got the best of him as he made his way inside and painful nostalgia hit him.
The room was almost exactly as she had left it last. The desk was neat and tidy if you ignored the layer of dust that had begun to build up. On the couch in the middle of the room he saw a familiar book laying face down with a few bookmarks sticking out. Faintly, he recalled the memory.
"Ne, Taicho?" asked a female voice. Hitsugaya grunted in response, not looking up from his paperwork.
She pouted slightly and picked up a nearby sheet of paper, balling it into a paper wad and tossing it at his head. The pen abruptly stopped and very visible veins popped on the captain's head.
"Miyamoto!"
"Finally I get a response…" Yumi let out an exaggerated sigh but a playful smirk was on her face.
He took a deep breath in to calm himself but there was still the noticeable twitch in his eyes. "Just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I can't hear you."
"Well I wanted to hear your voice! It gives me someone to talk to!" she gave him a cheeky smile and picked a red book out from the shelf by his desk. "Famous Quotes and Quotations… Are you turning into a future poet, Toshiro?"
"It's Hitsugaya-Taicho!" he corrected quickly as she laughed at his quick reaction. "And what's so funny!?"
"Hm, let's see… Oh, a bookmark!" His eyes widened slightly as she opened to the marked page. Her brow quirked upwards and a humorous light flashed in her violet eyes.
"'Children who sleep well, grow well', right?" Yumi tried stifling her reaction with a fruitless effort as she put one hand to cover her widening smile. Hitsugaya's face burned a deep red as he dropped his ink pen.
"D-Don't laugh, Miyamoto!" he snapped and got up to try to get the book back from his subordinate. She grinned and ran behind the couch to avoid her embarrassed captain."Give that back you nosy brat!"
"Nosy yes," she waved a finger at him but continued dodging his advances, "But the brat comment I resent. I'm only shorter than you by an inch at most."
"And yet you act like one? Tch, baka."
"At least I act my age, gaki." She laughed and began reading it again. "So, you really want to be taller, ne?"
"Urusai!"
"Aw, don't worry," she reassured in a motherly tone and pat his head, "I'm sure you'll grow tall enough so that people don't mistake you for a—"
"If you finish that I swear that you'll get the bad end of Hyourinmaru." He threatened and made another grab for the book. He narrowly missed and accidentally made contact with her chest but neither of them noticed. What they did notice was that gravity was taking hold of both of them as they fell on the couch, Hitsugaya on top and Yumi on bottom.
With his reflexes Hitsugaya managed to keep his arms propped up at the sides of Yumi's head to keep himself from crushing her with his weight while his legs were on either side of her.
The book fell on the floor, forgotten at the moment as Yumi looked up at her captain with shocked eyes. She wasn't the only one as Hitsugaya's eyes couldn't help but wander down slightly but he brought himself back to Soul Society by shaking his head furiously.
"A-are you alright, Miyamoto?"
"Y-Yeah. Peachy," she stuttered and tried avoiding eye contact with him. Feeling her cheeks feel warm with embarrassment, she tried to shift slightly and out of her captain's line of vision. In an attempt to make the situation easier she smiled sheepishly. "Uhm. We should…move shouldn't we?"
"Aa, we should." He said but his body made no move to do so. Instead, he almost seemed to lean in as she tensed.
"T-Taicho?" she began as he still continued his move with his eyes closed. Her eyes got as big as saucers as she began babbling like an idiot, "O-Oi! Pull yourself together!"
He's not going to…
Is he?
"TAAAAAAAAAAAICHO!"
Yumi gasped as she saw the shadow of the bouncy vice-captain and whispered a quick apology before utterly shoving him off with as much force as she could. The captain was wide eyed for a few seconds before falling and hitting his head on the nearby coffee table. Hard.
Before Yumi could try helping him up Matsumoto came in and stared at the two of them with curious eyes before leaping on Yumi and pulling her into a death grip.
"Yumi-chan! I knew you were going to make a move eventually!"
"That's not it!" Yumi protested and tried to escape, "He just fell off the couch and hit his head!"
"So you were both on the couch?"
"Yes! N-No! I mean—ugh Rangiku-chan!" she whined before hearing a weak groan from the floor. Both females shut up and watched the unconscious captain stir in his…sleep?
"He fell asleep…" Yumi spoke and raised a brow.
"Well, he did work himself to death for a while now. I wouldn't be surprised if he just randomly fell asleep out of the blue." Matsumoto sighed and then poked Yumi in the head. A touch of realization and disappointment escaped Yumi's own expression. Seeing this, the vice-captain winked and put a finger to her lips. "Let's give him his nap, ne?"
"Sure!" Yumi smiled before taking a camera from out of nowhere, "But not before I take some blackmail pictures."
The tenth division captain chuckled to himself after the memory passed. Not long after that incident happened, Yumi had found her camera missing and went on a rampage trying to find it.
"Matsumoto. Tell me right now or else so help me I will freeze every single sake bottle in the Soul Society and beyond right now!" snapped Hitsugaya as Matsumoto smiled nervously and tried backing away.
"I told you Taicho! Yumi-chan is still being treated by the fourth division!" she explained once more as he sat back down at his desk and rubbed his temples. It's been a couple days since the whole fiasco ended. The Ryoka that intruded were being treated and were recovering with the other divisions as a token of thanks. They had indeed helped with some of the matters at hand and proved their loyalty by going up against…
Hitsugaya clenched his fists tightly at the memory of that bastard traitors name and halted his thoughts once more.
"So…no one even went to her? Not even her companions?" he asked, relating to that Sayomi Archer and the other girl, Reisha.
"Not that I know of," Matsumoto shrugged and sat down on the couch before stretching, "Physically she's stable enough…"
"Physically?"
The vice-captain's eyes widened as she let the information slip. And once that happened, there was no stopping the sharp captain.
"What do you mean physically?"
"Oh, n-nothing nothing!" she waved off but his eyes looked sharply into hers. At this, she gave up and whined excessively, "Ne, that's no fair Taicho! Tricking me like that!"
"Who's doing the tricking!?" he growled but took a deep calming breath. He did not need his wounds to reopen any time soon.
"I don't know!" she said playfully and then made a mad dash for the door before her captain could say 'Shunpo'. But on the seat, he saw that she left behind a note. Inside, it read:
'Why don't you go ask Unohana-Taicho herself?'
Hitsugaya smirked ruefully to himself, "Sometimes, I don't know why I made her my Fukutaicho."
"For the last time, kid. You gotta do it sometime." Reisha rolled her eyes at the utterly sad creature in the bed. No joke--she looked like shit in her eyes.
Her legs were brought up to her chest with her head resting on her knees. The older girl scowled and raised her voice.
"Damn it! Stop wallowing in your self-pity and do something!!!"
"Reisha!" snapped Archer as he appeared through the open window. He jumped in easily and frowned at his temporary partner, "Don't do that. You know she's in a fragile enough state as it is!"
"Well excuse me Tou-san, but she's taking this too harshly!"
"How would you feel if that happened to you?"
"Believe me, it has and look where I've gotten now!"
"Wow. So you pride yourself with the 'Bitch of the Year' award?"
"URUSAI! What I don't understand is why she's acting like a little child!"
"She is one!!!"
His statement silenced her and made Yumi cringe and hug her legs tighter, unnoticed by the other two in the room. Archer's gold eyes flashed with anger as Reisha stared up at him defiantly.
"Don't pretend you don't know her pain, Kurai." Reisha was visibly taken back at that comment as well as the name. Her teeth clenched together and her fists shook.
"I'm not pretending. I'm coping and there's a damn difference you prissy stray!" she hissed darkly and made her way out of the room, slamming the door loudly on the way.
Archer cursed under his breath that their cover was now probably blown as he started to follow after his unreasonable partner. In the midst of his haste, he didn't feel the small frail hand reach out to grab his coat before he left.
Unohana finished with the last of the patients for the day and began to make her way to her sleeping quarters. It had been a long day and the nice warm bed of hers was simply calling to her. The night air was warm and crickets chirped happily.
"Unohana-Taicho!"
She had to suppress the twitch in her eye before turning around slowly only to see Hitsugaya Toshiro with a determined look in his eyes. For some reason, she almost knew what he was going to ask her and she smiled slightly.
"Yes, Hitsugaya-Taicho?"
"I…" he began but didn't know how to exactly form the words, "I want to be able to go into Miyamoto's room tonight." Her eye brows raised in a playfully suggestive manner as Hitsugaya's face immediately flushed a deep red. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant—"
"I know, I know," she laughed a little and tilted her head slightly, "So. Why do you want access?"
"Because she's my sub—"Hitsugaya trailed off, hesitating with his words, "She's important to me." An all too knowing look was hidden in her eyes as she smiled and began reaching into her sleeve for something. Pulling out a key, she handed it over to him and whispered in his ear.
"Room B138. But go easy on her, alright? Things haven't been very good with her lately." A troubled look washed over her and the humor in her eyes died down. "She hasn't eaten. She'll drink a little water but that's it, so I'm really close to giving her fluids with an IV. She barely sleeps either."
"Why is she like this?" he asked, not bothering to hide his concern. This was the first real news he had heard about her and he needed to know.
Unohana closed her eyes and sighed, "I think it's from the shock of what happened down in the Purewood Towers. Something happened in there, probably before you got to her. Now, it's like she's closing up." His eyes darkened at the memory but he remained silent so that she could continue, "Since then, she hasn't spoken a word to anyone."
"No one?"
"Not a soul," she smiled bitterly, "And whenever I go inside to check on her, her wounds are almost always reopened or on the verge of doing so. Kido doesn't help with her I'm afraid, so I had to use the natural healing. But Miyamoto-san usually ends up tearing her stitches. At this rate…" Unohana frowned and turned away from the captain and began walking.
"Unoha—"
"Go to her. No one else should be at the hospital for the time being other than the patients." She said and turned the corner. Hitsugaya frowned and then looked down at the key thoughtfully before making a break for the hospital.
It didn't take long for him to get there, thanks to Shunpo, but finding the room was another thing. After almost half an hour of looking, he found the room that read B138 on the door. Hesitantly, he opened the door and felt his breath hitch in his throat.
There was a perfect view of the crescent moon right by her window and her bed just so happened to be there. The girl sat upright in the bed with her robed body turned towards the moon. Its light made it look like she had an ethereal air about her and he watched from the door. He took a step forward, making the floor squeak slightly.
The girl slowly turned around to see who was behind her and froze when she saw him. Her tired violet eyes dilated slightly and she gripped her sheets with her fists in a tight hold. There was no turning back now for Hitsugaya as he took another step forward.
"Miyamoto," He spoke and saw her visibly flinch at his voice which confused him. Her eyes shone with fear and hurt as she turned back around to the window as if trying to inch herself away from him. Hitsugaya frowned, "Miyamoto. At least look at me." Her hands began to grip at her arms, nails digging in deeper when she heard him get closer. After a few seconds she slowly turned around. A look of utter doubt and mistrust made her eyes darken and he could've sworn he saw tears build up near the corners of her eyes.
"What happened to you? Can't you at least tell me that?" he asked and her doubting gaze vanished. No longer was the cold captain that hid his emotions from the world. Instead, his voice was laced with genuine hurt and concern. It was a side of him that even Hinamori had not seen and never will. Yumi's eyes softened and the grip on her arms loosened. She parted her lips to say something but then closed them, not able to express her feelings into words.
Taking a chance, he got closer and sat down on the edge of the bed. She made no move to get away but no move to get closer either.
"Why aren't you talking anymore?" he asked and she looked down. "Unohana-Taicho and everyone else is worried about you, baka." He managed to smile a little and touch her hand lightly. Once again, she flinched and pulled away quickly as if burned. That was it. He narrowed his eyes and stood up, staring at her angrily.
"Look, I don't know why the hell you're acting like this but do you think this is fair!?" she winced at his sudden shout and then stared at him in shock as he went on with his outburst. "You haven't spoken since you woke up! You won't let anyone into your room, let alone get near it! Now, I hear that you purposefully try ripping your stitches out! Is this some kind of sick joke!? Are you trying to kill yourself over this!?"
His fists closed tightly and he wasn't ashamed to show his emotions at this point. He was too angry at both himself and her for this situation.
"Matsumoto is worried sick. Hinamori is too! Hell, even those Ryoka have been asking about you! Can't you see that it's hurting them when they hear that you don't want to see them? While you just sit here and deny reality!? I don't know what happened but you have to get over it!"
"People care about you, Miyamoto-san. It isn't wise to throw that all away for a memory."
"Damn it! Stop wallowing in your self-pity and do something!!!"
"I…" he trailed off and shut his eyes, "I know I wasn't there in time. I know I didn't protect you when I should have. God damn it, I know that better than anyone!" When he reopened his eyes, they had a deep sadness and guilt in them. Seeing this, Yumi forgot how to breathe. "I can't say that I can save you from everything. I can't guarantee that you won't ever be hurt after this. But…" Hitsugaya sighed and sat down beside her again on the bed. He frowned and unconsciously took her gently by the hand and was inwardly pleased to see that she didn't pull away this time. Instead, she stared at his hands for a moment and then met his eyes with her own wavering ones. "But what I can say it that next time for sure… I won't need a second chance, I swear it." He said quietly and sent her an inquiring look, "The question is do you trust me?"
Yumi blinked. Twice. The question was unexpected. No one ever asked her if they truly trusted her. Usually it was a, "Everything will be alright!" or a "I promise nothing will ever happen to you."
As promising as it sounded, not everything can be shielded from reality. Things happen and that's the inevitable truth.
Her heart pounded painfully against her chest as she remembered the pain, both emotional and physical, when she saw the blade of 'Hyourinmaru' stab her cleanly through.
In her head, she knew it wasn't him. She wasn't stupid enough to believe that the illusion was real; especially after seeing Aizen. But…Her heart had been hurt far too much and closed itself. His touch no longer provided a chilling warmth. Instead, it felt like hot fire searing her skin. It was almost as if her body unconsciously rejected him completely, even when she didn't wish for that. That was the real reason she didn't want him to touch her. There had been a small light of hope when she saw him comfort her. Her chest throbbed against her chest when she heard his voice calm her innermost fears and memories. All of that was torn away in an instant and because of that she was scared.
Scared of being hurt again
Scared of being left alone
Scared of the possibility that all she had felt for her captain was a lie…
"Maybe losing hope because you're afraid of the future is the same as living life with your eyes closed because you're afraid to see the truth…"
She recalled that quote. It was one of her favorite ones in the book she 'borrowed' from Hitsugaya. The memory felt so distant in her mind that she was barely able to remember it clearly.
"I…" Hitsugaya's ears pricked up slightly at the sound of her soft voice. Hesitantly and a bit awkwardly, she tried finding her voice again after not using it for a while, "I trust you…"
A faint curve of her lips and a slow nod signaled her answer as Hitsugaya felt himself give a sigh of relief before literally falling over. His head landed softly on her lap as a light streak of pink tinted her face.
"H…Hitsugaya-Taicho…?"
His eyes opened slightly and he felt himself smirk, just a little. It was the perfect opportunity to get back at her for a little bit for the hell he's been through. He muttered something into the sheets and Yumi raised a brow in question. She blinked for a few seconds, trying to comprehend what was happening.
"Taicho?"
"…Just for a little while…" he mumbled again and his breathing slowly began to even out. Despite worrying over her health, she didn't miss the dark bags underneath his eyes. Obviously he hadn't been sleeping right, if at all. Mentally she scoffed at the irony. A sigh escaped her lips but she smiled warmly nonetheless. Her hand hesitantly ran through his surprisingly soft white spikes, further lulling him into a deep sleep.
"Baka…getting so worried over me…" she whispered and carefully put her other arm over his back in a weak hold. In response Hitsugaya's arms wrapped around her waist loosely.
"This makes us even…" he said and she wasn't one to object. Slowly, her eyes began to feel heavy as well and they eventually fell. For probably only the second time in her life, she felt right at home.
I don't know how to love
But I won't let anyone stop me.
I'm sure I can make the wish I made on the night sky come true.
I want to stay with you forever
I love your figure and your voice so much
Let's break down the loneliness in this town together.
-Miyamoto Yumiko
Omake Theatre
Mana: FLUFF!
Yumi: -twitch- so why did I go mute for more than half the chapter? Now that's just too cliched
Mana: Patience my OC…Patience
Hitsu: You're one to talk. You've been bouncing ever since you started drawing again
Mana: Can't help it. OH! I'M ALMOST DONE WITH MY NEW CHARACTER DESIGNS FOR WYLM! So far I got the new OC (Little girl – Kanako) and another character that you'll see eventually. I'm tempted to color them so wait for me!
Yumi: -rolls eyes- Oh, so just ignore my character now…
Mana: Hey, it's not my fault your character is so hard to draw out!
Yumi: -rolls eyes-
Q&A
How was the chapter? Too short still? Too detailed? What was your favorite/least favorite part of the chapter?
Finally there's a real conversation between Yumi and Hitsugaya. Will this outcome change anything between them? And what will happen when Matsumoto finds out!?
Unohana states that Kido doesn't work on Yumi. Why is that? (Note: Yumi can already cast attack spells but whenever healing spells are used on her it backfires)
So, everything has settled down in the Soul Society. But then where does this leave Archer and Reisha?
Send your answers in by reviewing!
A/N: Alright. So I'm going to start my new season really soon. It will be called: Kyrie Eleison, which is latin for "Lord, have Mercy". This arc will mainly cover the history of Daemons and also backstory on the old folktale in this FF, "War of the Demon's Fall". I kind of know what's going to happen and I kind of don't. But I can give you this. There's more romance in the next one...and some more blood. -grin- I know, I haven't actually put any romance in this other than hints and maybe ONE early kiss, but oh well. I warn, there are more OC's coming in since it's an original arc. I'm really tempted to make a casting list but that's spoiling. I'll just make one for myself so I don't leave anyone out. Hehe
There are still unanswered questions from this first season, like what Aeon is and what those numbers Reisha, Daichi, and Archer have represent. Those will be answered in due time. Also, the title: Would you love me if you knew what I was will play as a minor hint. Originally, this story wasn't supposed to go on for so many arcs after, but I find this more fun to do, XD
UPDATE 12/16/09: I took the preview down since Kyrie Eleison is officially going to come out 12/20/09 (Shiro's b-day!)
