Not as quick as I wanted to be with this one but it took ore adjusting than I expected. Plus there was the fact I got distracted yesterday with watching the new clips from New Moon a few hundred times.
Anyway, longer A/N at the end for this one, but enjoy!
Chapter Twenty - Five : Moments of Clarity.
Everything started processing when he kissed me.
Every thought; those I'd hidden all these months, those that had become jumbled and unreadable were presented to me and I knew that they just were, and I couldn't run from them anymore.
At first I was still. My palms still clung to Al's cheeks as his smooth lips pressed against mine.
Then each emotion started to run through me with an ice cold clarity I'd forgotten could exist. Everything before had been numb and guarded. I hadn't truly felt joy or pain because I'd become cocooned in such a guarded existence, because I'd pushed my past away to protect myself.
That was all gone now.
My fingers pulled Al closer and my lips moved, taking his bottom one between mine as his hands tightened around my waist.
Every memory pulsed through me. Every moment with my family; all the stress they began to feel for my safety around my birthday, yet the ease they displayed around me until the last moment I saw them.
Everything at once tumbled through my thoughts, the barrier keeping it all back broken. Al's lips seemed to move more fiercely against mine when I thought of my time with Victor and Francesca.
Then I thought of Jacob. All of him, every prominent memory of my life which he had been such a part of. My stomach tightened when I thought of kissing him. All those displays of affection that seemed to always be initiated by me and not him.
I'd only ever wanted to kiss Jacob Black. Only ever him. I only wanted to love him and have him love me back.
But then I'd learned what his love really was, and I'd thought it a bad thing.
All this didn't make me push Al away. This remembrance of what was in my heart only made me cling to him tighter, his lips seemed frozen now.
I couldn't lose him. I'd lost too much to be alone again, to be without this new family I loved so very much.
I thought of how it had felt to just hear how Al had accepted that one day he might be removed from this world by a soulless monster.
It had felt horrible, and I'd wanted him to know that. I'd shown him; pressed my palms to his face to share my thoughts with him. Then he kissed me, and I didn't stop.
I pulled away when the realisation dawned. The slight tingle in my fingers that signalled my projections had been blurred by all the other sensations pulsing through me.
Al's eyes were open, his topaz orbs burned wide into mine. We still clung to each other, my hands not moving from his face as I shut off all connection and mumbled,
"You saw that?" He didn't respond. He just remained frozen, his face inches from mine until I pulled away quickly, backing up a few long steps. "You saw that."
Everything was out. Every morsel of my guarded past had been emptied into Al's consciousness. He knew all I did.
My mind still reeled, the new clarity setting in, faces of my Uncles, Aunts and parents taking their places in the front of my thoughts whereas before they'd been locked away.
"I know everything." I felt myself start to shake at his words. With the clarity had come the pain and the shame, it would be harder to hide it away again if Al had felt it too. My head shook and I took another few steps backwards. Al watched me, slowly moving forward, his eyes not moving from mine as he spoke. "I know everything you've been through, everything you've done. You left your home. You went with Cora and Victor, and you left."
"Al, stop it!" I kept taking short steps backwards, my fingers involuntarily curling into tight fists. He just moved with me,
"I know everything you've kept hidden. I know you've bottled it all up and all the pain you've felt because of it. I've seen your family .." A hot tear streamed down one of my cheeks, when I saw them too. Every locked away memory spent with them streaming through my mind. "… you left them."
I stopped dead, as though Al's words had finally hammered home that I'd done just that. Left them. I went with no explanation save a tiny note they may never have found. I didn't go back and talk to them, confront the situation like I should have, I just ran.
"I'm sorry, Al." I swallowed hard, feeling the tears building. "I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry you had to find out what I am."
"What you are?" His eyes narrowed as he closed the gap between us. He studied my expression, which could have been leaking my inner self disgust to any degree.
"I've seen you, Smee. I know what you are." I dropped my head when air bubbled up inside me and came out as a sob, but Al's hand came to my chin and he lifted it slowly. "I know how much we mean to you. I know you'd rather die than let somebody hurt Sonny. I know you'd move mountains to make Oz happy and I know the love and safety you feel when Cora hugs you. I've seen Brice through your eyes, and I've seen that the way he is with Cora hurts you because it reminds you so much or your family. I know how desperate you are for Leah to be happy, and how difficult it for you to accept that she is." Al's eyes relaxed, travelling my face, lingering on my lips. "I've seen what I am to you." He smiled, raising one hand and slowly wiping the tears from my chin with his thumb. "I know I make you feel safe when you wake from your nightmares. Those horrible dreams where those cloaked figures come and take us all from you." His fingers gently traced my cheek, "And I've seen him. I've seen Jacob." I squirmed a little, feeling everything rise up inside me, about to explode. Al, unyielding, just held me tighter until I couldn't hold it in anymore and I just collapsed into his arms.
{--}
I wasn't sure how long I cried. But in the end my head ached and my eyes stung, not unlike my first night after leaving Juneau. The beginning of a three day period I'd just spent rolled up alone, crying and in pain. These two outbursts felt like bookends, one at each end of the time I spent suppressing everything and trying to forget.
The throbbing in my head was the same, as were the trails the rolled down my face, but I wasn't alone as I was before. Al held me the entire time. He didn't say anything as the months of pent up agony spilled from me, he just kept still and silent and it was clear that he wasn't fully with me, he too was away in his head processing everything.
"It's getting late." I looked up at the sky which had turned a dirty blue above us. Al had quietly broken the silence that had come over us since the sounds of my sobbing dissolved.
"Yeah." My head lay in his lap, the rest of my body curled up on the mossy ground with his arms wrapped gently around it. He unwrapped one of those arms and gently pulled away the hair that lay across the side of my face,
"What do you want to do?" I knew he wasn't talking some short term decision like going back to the Mausoleum or hanging in the woods a little longer. He was talking about a much bigger picture, one he know had a full view of.
"I don't know." I sighed, lifting myself slowly to sit upright beside him. "I was hoping … that after everything, you might be able to help me with that one." Al smiled, dropping his hands in his now empty lap and shaking his head,
"Not really. I don't know that, I don't know what it is that you want because I don't think you do either." I nodded. Everything in my head was open again, but there were still no answers to the many questions that kept bugging me. I still didn't know what the right thing to do was. "What would make you happy, Smee? That's all that matters to me, so whatever it is … just do that."
I hated the only answer that came to me. Hated it because though it was so very true it sounded false.
"I just … I just wish everyone else was happy. I think that's all I've ever wanted, that's all I've ever tried to achieve. I just always seem to mess it up." My heart stung when I thought of what damage my departure may have caused. Though it won't have been permanent, I was sure that it would have upset my doting Grandparents, especially my adoring Esme. I felt my inside squeeze up at my dry eyes when I thought of her and that beautiful smile. It would have upset them all what I did.
I thought of going back, as I cried I'd run that possibility through my head a hundred times. But everything had changed. I'd changed and I had no doubt that me just going back there would make things worse for them. And I'd left to set Jake free, so that he could be who he wanted with who he wanted to be with. Though seeing that, seeing a Jacob who wasn't mine I was sure would kill me.
Plus, I'd left one family behind already; I'd never do it again.
I would always love the Cullens more than words could depict. There was no denying that now and I missed them and a part of me burned in my absence from them, but that took nothing from what I felt for my new family, the ones I now promised myself I would never leave. "So if you can do that … if you can prove to me everyone is happy with this new life … then I'll be happy." Al smirked, shaking his head,
"You're crazy." I smiled and nodded as I dropped my head onto Al's shoulder. I was pretty sure I was just that.
{--}
"I guarantee this is the worst idea we have ever had."
"Oz, shut up!" I giggled quietly in the dark when Al hissed beside me,
"The thing's a god damn death trap, Alvar. How can you not see that?" Cora glided beside me, her arms swinging as one hand was wrapped in Brice's and the other in mine,
"Oh Oscar, how can it be a death trap when it doesn't even have an engine?" The 'death trap' in question was an old blue ford truck we'd all just made our way into town to get. It had no engine, so we'd had to be very selective about picking it up so nobody could see how just one of was able to push it home through the woods single handed.
Tomorrow, or today, depending on what exact time it was as we made our way through the black woods, was Sonny's eighteenth birthday, and this was the gift we had decided to get for him. It needed a lot of work, which is something Leah was more than capable of aiding him in doing, and it also gave Sonny time to legitimately pass a driving test, something Oscar and Cora were insistent on.
"I still think he'd be safer in the jeep. Why can't we just give him the jeep?" Oz leaned backwards against the car, no strain appearing on his face as he pushed the vehicle forward while he spoke to us.
"Sonny is not having my jeep, Oz." Brice shook his head vehemently as he mumbled, and Oz almost stopped pushing when he barked,
"Oh … and just why is that?" Brice rolled his eyes,
"'Cos the kid drives like an idiot." Oz slapped his hand down on the boot and Cora hissed at him, warning of the damage his strength could do on the flimsy car.
"Exactly! So how in gods name does it make sense to let him out onto the roads of the world?"
"Because it's what normal people do, Oz. They drive and sometimes, yes, they get in accidents but they take that risk because that's life. Besides, isn't the point of making him get a licence that he's gonna learn how to drive properly?" Before Al could finish speaking Oz had let out a frustrated sigh and turned to face away from us as he pushed. Something I'd never considered cross my mind then,
"Don't you need like, records and files to get a driving license? Do you have that, I mean, does Sonny have a birth certificate and all that?"
"Yeah, we got 'em." Oz didn't look back as he spoke, instead picking up a quicker pace as he steered the car. "We got some made when he was a kid saying that he was Brice's. Then we didn't have much need for all that 'til he was twelve and the dummies appendix exploded and we had to get him to hospital." Al and Brice both laughed, Brice slapping Oz and the back as he tittered,
"Oz, you still say that like it was Sonny's fault."
"Well it sure as hell wasn't mine now was it?"
Sonny loved his present. He far from minded that he had to take his test and actually seemed very excited about it. Cora and Leah made him a huge chocolate cake and for the first time in … ever, Sonny voluntarily awoke early.
Fortunately the sun made a slight appearance in the day and we all made our way down to the lake. Al and Oz cannonballed in, Sonny following them making a less extensive splash when he entered. Cora and Brice looked a picture sat on a rug at the side of the water. Cora wore a baby pink sundress and wide, white sunhat as she sat watching us with Brice's arms draped around her.
Sonny stuck close to Leah, playing around occasionally but then swimming back to her when he began to shiver again like she was his own personal heater.
Al and Oz disappeared under the water for minutes and minutes at a time, racing from top to bottom, edge to edge and then over again.
"I'm pruning." Leah swam beside me, waggling her fingers at me and smiling. I pulled mine from the water and stared at the now wrinkled tips of each finger.
"Me too." Leah laughed,
"You're an awful excuse for a vampire, Ness." I laughed too and we both swam to the side, leaving Sonny laughing as he goofed around with his brothers in the water. Once we climbed out Cora handed us both a towel and a change of clothes we threw on lazily.
Around us Cora had arranged a few plates of food and I reached out for two of the closest sandwiches, passing one to Leah as I started on the other.
"No, I'm good thanks." Leah laughed when I almost choked on mine, "What, is it that unbelievable that I'm not hungry?"
"Well … yeah! You're always hungry." Leah laughed again arching her back and flexing her arms and fingers,
"Guess I just don't have the appetite I used to." I watched her closely for a second before admitting defeat and holding the second sandwich back for myself. It'd been a while now since I'd hunted and my appetite only seemed to increase at times like this.
That night everyone gathered at the house and sat as Sonny hosted a movie marathon, falling asleep with his head on Leah's shoulder before the second one was even halfway through.
{--}
"I think you got your wish." I looked over at the door of my bedroom to see Al standing there as I dropped down into my bed.
"What wish would that be?" He smiled, moving over to sit beside me,
"That everyone would be happy. I don't think I've ever seen more happiness than I have today." I grinned, pulling at my duvet,
"Yeah, it was a lot of fun." It had been over two weeks since Al kissed me in the woods, and we'd never mentioned it. It didn't feel like an avoided subject because nothing had changed, apart from the fact Al now knew my mind inside-out. But now I did too. I knew I loved him and that I could never picture my life without him. But I also knew I didn't possess that ability anymore, the ability to love someone in that way. I'd left that piece of me somewhere. It was far, far away with someone else and I may never get it back.
I didn't know what that meant for me and Al. I knew I couldn't keep him, not forever. I couldn't keep him just like Oz couldn't keep Sonny now he had Leah. One day Al would need somebody who could give him what I wouldn't be able to. I don't know what that meant for us, but as immortals, I figured we had a long time to work it out.
The nightmares were gone but Al was still there most morning when I woke up, just to be safe he said. Cora told me wherever they went at night Al would be sure to be back at a specific time so he could be there if I needed him.
But nowadays all my fears lived on the surface, not hidden in my unconscious waiting for sleep. The photo album Cora had given me sat atop one of the dressers in my room. I never opened it, but it was there.
It was a morning, a few days after Sonny's birthday. The kitchen was quiet but for the sound of sizzling batter and the convex side of a spoon as I span it on the countertop. Leah's ebony hair hung in wild waves down to the small of her back as she hovered around the kitchen, pulling out plates and poking at the pan. I enjoyed watching Leah cook; I could tell she got a satisfaction out of it I had previously come to know. I rarely got to cook anymore. When Cora arrived, she'd done it a lot, and now Leah was here, she very much enjoyed it. But then there was Oz too. Oz who'd, along with his brothers, fed Sonny for seventeen years. And though he'd never seemed to mind me taking over that job, now Leah was doing it Oz had tried to reassert himself in the kitchen.
I kept having to remind myself how long Leah had been here. Thirty-six days. On reflection, it both seemed longer and shorter and that. The time felt like a dream, but then also frighteningly real.
Leah's back arched and her shoulders bent by her side, a numb crack sounding as she flexed that made me wince.
"Ouch." She turned quickly, smiling as though she'd forgotten I was there and waved her hand.
"Nah. It doesn't hurt, not much anyway." Leah'd been getting almost sluggish lately. She slept later and ate less. She still ate a normal amount, but not necessarily her normal amount. And then there was all the twitching and stretching, her body visibly under some kind of building stress.
"Is it us?" She chuckled, and dropped her elbows down on the counter opposite me nodding.
"Not you. You I can handle. But the other four are a little ….exhausting." She still smiled as she said it, sounding more amused than frustrated.
"Would, y'know … would phasing make it better?" Leah answered quickly, dropping her shoulders a little and grunting,
"Yes!"
I smiled. "So why don't you?"
"I don't want to cause anymore trouble, Ness. Everything's going fine." I went talk but stopped when I heard the thump as Sonny rolled from his bed upstairs. Leah grinned, spinning back to the stove and emptying pancakes onto three separate plates.
Sonny's eyes were narrow as he stumbled down the stairs, one hand gripped a tuft of his wild, spiky hair.
"Sonny, how about one time you make Leah's breakfast instead?" Leah shushed me as she pushed a plate, stacked high under my nose.
"I would. If she'd just stay in bed long enough for me to be up before her for once." Sonny smiled, wrapping his fingers through Leah's as she placed his plate before him. Leah giggled and moved closer and I dropped my head, turning to face the other way and poking at my breakfast while they continued to say good morning.
{--}
"You should do it, Leah. Do it now, Oz isn't here." Sonny was at the sink, washing our dishes and he twisted, his brows furrowing as he looked at us over his shoulder.
"Do what?" Leah frowned quickly in my direction, still staring at me when she said,
"Nothing, Sonny. It's noting." Sonny shook his hands quickly over the water then wiped them lazily down the front of his t-shirt leaving damp streaks.
"It's not nothing, Sonny." Leah gave my knee a slight shove but I ignored her, "Leah's in pain." Sonny's eyes widened quickly and Leah barked,
"I'm not! Sonny, no, I'm really not."
"Discomfort then. Sonny, Leah's in discomfort but there's a way she can feel better." Leah growled at me and Sonny studied her for a second, before his eyes calmed a little.
"And what's that?" A familiar whooshing sound came with three equally recognisable scents travelling on the breeze, Leah sighed and got up to finish the dishes.
"Never mind, Sonny. It doesn't matter." I rolled my eyes and shook my head at Sonny, turning to look out the window as the sounds and scents turned into Al, Brice and Cora as they ran from the trees towards the house.
"They won't mind you doing it, Leah, it'll be fine." The door swung open as the three of them entered and Al pulled himself to sit on the counter beside me,
"What won't we mind?" Leah's back twisted again and there was another stinging click as she glared at me, Al heard this one and he sucked a sympathetic breath through his teeth.
"Leah's been here over a month now, and in that time she hasn't been able to pha-… to, well to be a wolf basically. And that's been very stressful on her body." Sonny nodded pulling Leah from the sink by her waist and caging her in his arms.
"So she should just do it, right?" Sonny looked at me and Al, I nodded then looked to him and he did the same. "Alright, let's go right now. I've so wanted to see this!" Sonny clapped his hands and strode over to the couch where his coat was thrown. Leah sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair,
"No, Sonny." Sonny's coat was already half on when he shrugged and answered,
"Why not? The party pooper's out hunting so we do it now and he might never know. And you two are okay with it right?" Sonny looked at Brice and Cora who both nodded hesitantly. "See Yah, it's fine." Leah sighed, her shoulders moving with the deep exhale. 'Yah' was the nickname had granted Leah, adhering to his strict one syllable rule. Even now as she hung her head to the side slightly, her dislike of the situation obvious, there was no doubting the complete love as she looked at Sonny. She rolled her shoulders and I could pick up the painful sounds that came from within her as she did this. Leah really did need this.
"Sonny, if I do this, I don't want you there." Sonny, now with his large coat fully on stood with the door open in his hand, his mouth slightly open. "At least not this time, not with all this built up stress. Please Sonny, I just want you to be safe." Sonny sighed, his head dropping slightly and Brice clapped a hand on his shoulder.
"Listen to her, Sonny. And then think about how Oz would react if he found out she'd transformed with you around." Everyone nodded then. That would never have a pleasant ending.
Leah took a few strides across the room to stand inches in front of Sonny.
Fortunately, though Sonny had not inherited the full extent of Oz's stature, he still had enough of it that his head was just above Leah's as she whispered up to him,
"Please, Sonny. For me." Beside me Al sighed, smirking when he saw me frown at his reaction.
Sonny just smiled, kissing Leah lightly on the nose and nodding as he took her by the hand and lead her out the door.
They walked to the edge of the plane at the top of the hill hand in hand, then Leah let go and broke into a slow jog down into the trees. Al and I followed slowly, leaving Brice and Cora in the house as we made our way over to where Sonny now sat.
"What was with the sigh?" Al smirked, not looking over to me as we walked.
"What sigh?" I gave his arm a shove before I wrapped mine through it, he knew what I meant. "I just think that was a particularly wicked technique." He looked over at me, grinning when he met my confused expression. "For me! A guaranteed way of getting what you want from the people who love you."
"Oh, and you're such the expert are you?" Al laughed sarcastically and the sound made me smile uncontrollably,
"It's common sense, Smee. It always works because if a person loves you enough, they'll do anything for your happiness. You should know that better than anyone." I dropped my grip on his arm,
"What's that supposed to -"
"She won't be cold will she?" I was cut off by Sonny, who sat in the ground rubbing his hands together, staring out on the trees. When I didn't answer he looked up at me with his wide, emerald eyes and I dropped down to sit beside him. Our short summer had been and gone, replaced now with a slight chill I was only reminded of due to Sonny.
"No, Sonny. She won't be cold." He rubbed his hands together again and went back to staring out at the trees.
"Good. I know she never gets cold but I wasn't sure." I watched him as his eyes travelled the horizon as though searching for her. I found myself focusing my hearing, waiting for that so familiar crack, but could still only make out the sounds of footsteps as Leah made her way slowly into the heart of the woods. "Keep your ears open for Oz, Al." Al chuckled from where he stood beside Sonny, his eyes too travelled the space before us,
"Believe me, I am." Oz had somewhat got used to Leah being around, but that was a very human Leah. There was no way of knowing how he would react if he came face to face with her in wolf form.
"Relax Sonny, everything's gonna be fine. She's done this a thousand times before." I rubbed his shoulder and he smiled,
"Yeah, I guess. I would like to see her change one day though, Smee. Is it like in the movies?"
"Depends which movie." Sonny grinned, chewing on his bottom lip as he thought.
"So it's like … exploding?" I smiled, noticing as Al watched me closely. Lately it was like the connection had never broken. Like he could still see my every thought and feel my every emotion. Right now it was as though he knew I had images of Jake phasing rushing through my head and I could see the concern that creased his forehead.
"Sort of." I wracked my brain when I tried to find a way of explaining it to him without freaking him out. "There's a crack. And then they just sort of … break out of themselves and they're a wolf." I turned to see both Al and Sonny hanging on my words. "Umm, Leah's grey. There are undertones of that pitch-black hair of hers but she's mostly this dusty grey. She's a little smaller than the others were, especially when she was next to her brother who's this great gangly thing once he's phased. But she's amazingly strong and fast and you would not want to cross her." We all laughed and Sonny nodded,
"Yup, sounds like her." I grinned wide as I saw how happy he was, throwing my arm around his shoulders and pulling tight. He sunk into my embrace, but once a great, painful howl filled the sky, his body went very rigid.
The sound was loud to me. I could easily distinguish the pitch as it dissolved into a strong whimper. But Sonny heard it too. It travelled from the trees. It was a sound made by common animals, but this one carried so much emotion that it could not have come from any animal.
This howl was from Leah.
Sonny leapt to his feet and I rose with him, keeping my hand firmly round his shoulder as both of Al's pressed onto mine.
We were all quiet as we stared down the hill, nothing changing until a single, dark figure raced from the trees.
Leah.
Sonny sped down the hill towards her, running faster than I'd ever seen him move until Leah collapsed into his arms just as the ground levelled out again.
I stood at the top, frozen, confused and scared as I looked down at them.
Leah was naked and crying. Tears streamed down her face as she clung to Sonny as though her life depended on it. She sobbed violently and pulled at him in desperation as he distanced himself from her only slightly so he could remove his coat and wrap it around her.
She buried her face deeply into his neck, her hair hanging all around her as she cried,
"I love you so much, Sonny. I love you." Panic squeezed at my insides as I watched her. My body felt numb with fear as I studied the breakdown that had come upon Leah so quickly and so powerfully. I barely registered the touch of Alvar's hands as he wrapped them around my shoulders and began leading me down towards them.
It had worried me that there could never be balance between Sonny and Leah, just as he could never find balance with his brothers. She was a wolf. She would not always be, but for now she was stronger than ten Sonny's. It had always worried me that this would be bad for him and for her.
But now as Sonny held her so tight, as she clung to him as though he was all she needed, I saw that it wasn't the case. Sonny stood taller than her as she dissolved in his arms, sobbing and mumbling. He held her head and ran his hand through her hair, calming her.
"I love you, Sonny. Please don't go. It hurt so much."
"I'm not going anywhere, baby. I'm right here. I'll always be here, Leah, I love you." She just seemed to cling to him tighter.
"It hurts so much, Sonny. Please never go." I felt like I'd be observing them through a dream until Sonny turned over his shoulder.
"Smee, what's wrong with her?" Al tugged lightly at my shoulders when I didn't react, I just stared at Leah. Her moist eyes lifted, wide as they searched for me, wider still when they met mine. Her glare caused me to take a slight step back.
"Ness." She croaked, her voice broken and hoarse. "I'm sorry." Al twisted, looking back up at the house and waving his hand.
Cora materialised at my side instantly, Brice right behind her.
"What is it? What's wrong?" I just took a step forward, my contact with Leah's heavy eyes never breaking.
"I just phased and he was there. I didn't think he was gonna be."
Everything inside me moved. My heard sunk; one quick leap before it picked up a thunderous pace. My stomach tightened, the restriction travelling to my lungs until I couldn't breathe.
"When he said your name I just …. I just thought of everything. The house and the lake and us and …. And I couldn't help it … it just hurt so much!" Leah's head dropped onto Sonny's shoulder once more, her fingers pulling tight at his shirt as though he would slip from her grip at any moment.
I just froze, feeling the heat rush to my face and leak from my eyes. Cora wrapped her arms around me but I was numb to it.
"What's wrong? Leah, what's happening?" She was almost shrieking, the panic palpable as I felt my body slip into a motionless panic.
There was a thundering in my ears and an unfamiliar heat tingled all over. Leah sniffed, the last tears rolling down her red cheeks as she exhaled deeply and looked at me.
"Jacob's coming."
Yeeeah.
Anyway, next chapter we have to go back to the Cullens, I didn't put it after that little cliffy on purpose, it just HAS to go here because of what happens and what it means and leads to and blaah.
But incase you forgot the last time we visited our favourite vampire brood Esme and Jasper got some very unexpected visitors in the form of three pale rascals from Italy.
There may be some Renesmee next chapter, or maybe some Jake, I'm not sure yet, it depends what fits where in this jigsaw the end of this story is turning into.
Oh yeah, and if the whole "Ness sort of accidentally projecting things she'd rather were private" thing interests you, you MUST check out "Hands on Me" by IndependanceIndividuality.
It's such a great story, so constantly well written and by such a lovely person. Check it out, you won't regret it. Given my recent hiatus I'm a few chapters behind, as I am with pretty much all my reading but I'm gonna knuckle down this weekend.
I love my reviewers, you make me smile and squeel and inspire me to back away from the video of shirtless Jacob and write. So thankyou, I really do appreciate it.
Gina x
