Notes: Now, kids, some words of wisdom. Don't go to university/college/whatever because that takes all your time and ruins your career as a fic writer. No, just joking, study, it's good for you. (But bad for your writing.)
I've been ridiculously busy, I've barely had time to write, but here this chapter finally is.
29. Lunar Eclipse
The 26th of June, the fifth year of peace
The Land of Fire
Cold water drips from his soggy hair on his neck and from there down his back to soak his undershirt. The metal of his armour feels cold through the drenched fabric, the wet tree branches are almost slimy under his feet, and he has to constantly keep adjusting his ANBU mask to prevent it from slipping off his face.
For once in Sasuke's his life, he can't be back in Konoha soon enough.
Sasuke bites his cheek, signals Eagle to go check the forest on the west side of the convoy, and tugs the knot on the strings that are supposed to keep his mask in place. His head is as mushy and grey as the rainy woods around them – he was on night shift last night, and now the dark circles under his eyes nearly match the shade of his hair. This morning, the Elders ordered the entourage of Konoha to leave the Daimyou's palace at the crack of dawn, right after Sasuke's shift ended, and so they successfully robbed him of any sleep he might have had, had they departed an hour or two later.
Sasuke resists the urge to rub his tired eyes. His wet hair has latched onto his forehead under the robin mask, and he would be shivering if it weren't for all the running around keeping him warm. Sasuke glances over his shoulder at the group on the road – at least the other shinobis of the party look just as miserable.
Weeks earlier, when their group consisted only of the Hokage and his guard, their small company had been agile and free to trek across forests and uncharted lands like the shinobis they are. Now, the presence of the Elders and their assistants and numerous staff transforms their efficient team into an official entourage of the Hidden Village of the Leaf. That results in formal goodbye ceremonies with the Daimyou, parading bodyguards, and more general snobbery than Sasuke is equipped to deal with.
On top of all that, the Elders have got it in their heads that considering their respectable age and position, they should make the journey in horse carriages like nobles and wealthy civilians. As opposed to the shinobi way of travelling on foot, their ridiculousness equals to the whole company sticking to wide public roads, a longer route, and numerous stops so the Elders can stretch their legs after sitting on their asses for a few hours. The rest of the ninjas are less fortunate – they walk alongside the carriages in the pouring rain, pulling their vests and jackets better on to shield themselves from the chilly summer flood.
Sasuke's team, despite all the other Konoha nin accompanying them, is still responsible for the safety of the entourage as well as the Hokage's. The six of them are spread in the forest around the convoy to look for any potential threats and unlikely assassination attempts. Sasuke, with his red glowing eyes, is in the lead, ahead of the main group, and his teammates are flashes of white in the darkness behind him. This operation feels almost a little too excessive, when so far, the only enemies they have encountered are the trees that slosh a bucketful of freezing water on them if they make the mistake of landing on a branch too harshly.
All of this Sasuke could somehow bear if he didn't have to live with the fact that the Elders are watching him. This morning the old couple had thrown meaningful looks at Sasuke's way the second they had found him in the same room with the Sixth Hokage. Their gazes had followed him through the preparations and excessive ceremonies, and the scrutiny is yet to stop. Even now, when Sasuke is far away from the main group and the Elders' sight, he can still feel their eyes on him. It's not hard to imagine them sitting comfortably in their warm carriage, watching him squirm and just waiting for him to slip up.
Sasuke hasn't talked with Kakashi yet, he hasn't managed to say a word to him since the Elders ambushed him last night, and he is sincerely starting to doubt whether he is going to have a chance to try before they reach Konoha. His night shift of the guard duty was something he couldn't abandon, even for this, so he had had to rage at the injustice of this all by himself. Also, considering just how cunning and ruthless the Elders can be, Sasuke wouldn't put it past them to send someone after him, and if Sasuke had run straight to Kakashi last night, he could have just as well shouted it from the rooftops that there was something going on between them.
Sasuke had planned to pull Kakashi aside this morning to break him to news, but the Elders had walked in right then. The Hokage had been busy since the moment he had woken up, people kept running in and out of his room to ask him this or that regarding their trip back, and when that was done, Kakashi had been swept off to bid the Daimyou a formal goodbye. Sasuke had had to content himself with trying to stay awake and making sure his team was ready to leave at a moment's notice.
Now Kakashi is walking alongside the carriages – he is too much of a shinobi to even think about the comfort of travelling in one of them. He is talking with the ninjas around him, his back straight but his hands in his pockets, balancing the duality of being both their commander but also still one of them. The rain has turned his hair grey, and he is just as soaked as the rest of the group, but the delicate red markings of the Sixth Hokage on his back can be spotted even through the heavy downpour. Every time Sasuke thinks about going over to him with the excuse of a status report, either a shinobi jogs up to Kakashi to ask for instructions for whatever problem they have at the hand, or somebody peeks from the window of the Elders' carriage and puts a stop to Sasuke's plan.
Sasuke shakes his head, gives up and tries to focus on his own task of keeping the company safe while concentrating on not breaking his ankle on the slippery branches. Kakashi and he wouldn't have any privacy on the road anyway.
It's only hours later, when the sun is about to set somewhere behind the dark, heavy rainclouds, and they have stopped for the night that Sasuke finally manages to catch Kakashi's eye. The rain still hasn't ceased, and by now the mood of the group has lowered from everybody trying to suffer through the downpour to accepting death by flood. Sasuke nods towards the edge of their makeshift camp and heads there when he sees Kakashi make a hasty apology to the people he was speaking with.
They can't go far, but a lonely, empty carriage at the edge of the forest gives them enough cover to have a moment for themselves. Kakashi greets him with a subtle smile, a knowing look in his eyes and a joke on the tip of his tongue, but when Sasuke doesn't remove his ANBU mask and stays at a distance, Kakashi is quick to drop the amused expression. He assumes the role of the Hokage again – he straightens his back and seems to gain a few inches of height, but the worried look on his face is genuine.
They need to look like the Hokage and the leader of his guard, and nothing more.
The last traces of that easy smile disappear quickly from Kakashi's face when Sasuke explains their situation to him. His hushed voice can barely be heard over the roar of the rain. Sasuke rests his gaze on Kakashi's shoulder, on the already wet fabric of his shirt that gets darker and darker as they stand in the downpour. His words come out sharp and harsh, and just as stiff as his posture that he has to keep as one of an ANBU.
It's a rash, jerky movement when Sasuke finishes and turns his head to look at Kakashi. He is beyond furious now that he has had to relive last night and that there is this chilling, nerve-racking feeling that the Elders might be watching them even now. It makes him nervous, and the fact that the pair of old bastards are able to do that to him pisses him off even more.
Kakashi's anger shows only in his eyes. His wet hair fans over his face, but his sharingan glows blood red and spins wildly, and the dark one is like a storm. Nothing in his body language reveals how outraged he is – his stance is still relaxed, his chakra is under control as is his face – but when he lets his gaze roam over the camp, searching for the Elders, Sasuke recognises the look that he has so far seen only on battlefields.
"And they dared to talk to me this morning like nothing has happened," Kakashi mutters, his eyes focused on the Elders' carriage on the other side of the camp. His eyes turn colder with every word. "As if they didn't threaten you yesterday."
"I don't even bother trying to be surprised," Sasuke scoffs and makes an effort not to glance where Kakashi is looking. Somebody is bound to notice if they both just stand there and glare at something together, and that's really not what they need right now.
Kakashi sighs and focuses his attention back to Sasuke.
"So, what now?"
"Obviously I'm not going to break up with you just because they tell me to," Sasuke answers right away, so fast that he sounds almost rude. "I won't let them boss me around because of some vague threats. It's none of their fucking business in the first place."
Sasuke kicks a pebble at his feet. When he looks up at Kakashi, Kakashi's expression isn't as relieved as he expected it to be.
"What?"
"We can't just ignore this," Kakashi says, frowning. He steals a glance towards the Elders' direction again. His shoulders tense, his eyes narrow, and all the previous anger gives way to more realistic thinking. It's been a while since Sasuke has seen him this serious, so on edge and ready for battle. "The Elders won't hesitate to ruin your life because of this. They're so fixated on the reputation of the village that we can't take this lightly. It's your life we are talking about here – "
"So instead I should let them dictate what I do with it?" Sasuke asks, quirking his brow, and falls back to his arrogant tone. Then he realises that of course Kakashi can't see his expression through the mask. He crosses his arms, tilts his head to the side and sighs. "Can't you just have them arrested for blackmailing me?"
"Don't you think that they have something planned for that? They would just take you down with them," Kakashi snaps back, and even though he doesn't raise his voice, it feels like he does. "It's not worth the risk. I won't put you in danger like that."
"What do you suggest we do then? Sneak around and pretend we're not together?"
Sasuke knows Kakashi and his face well enough that he can see it even with the mask in the way that Kakashi clenches his jaw and presses his lips together.
"The Elders probably have someone watching us. They did say someone saw us," Kakashi states in a tight voice without answering Sasuke's question. He doesn't meet his gaze either. Kakashi's focus gravitates back towards the other side of the camp and from there on the drenched shinobis that have spread around the small clearing.
"But we still don't know whether they were bluffing," Sasuke adds. He has to force his shoulders and hands to relax. His nails have pressed red crescents on his palms through his gloves. "But is this really what this comes to – that we have to hide and sneak around like we have done something wrong? And how long are we supposed to keep that up?"
Kakashi only looks at him with sad, wide eyes – either at a loss for words or choosing to stay silent to prevent himself from saying something that would set Sasuke off worse.
His silence just aggravates Sasuke more.
"I mean it. Weeks? Months? Years? Until the Elders die? And what if it doesn't end even then, what if the Council finds out at some point and they think they have the right disapprove? I can't – I – " Sasuke trails off as the cruelty of the situation finally sinks in. He had wallowed over the fact that the Elders had the nerve to do this to them in the first place, he hadn't really though what it would mean in the long run.
Sasuke wants to take the few steps separating them and rest his head on Kakashi's shoulder and curse, because he is tired and angry and all they have managed to do so far is to snap at each other. But Kakashi is the Hokage, Sasuke is one of his ANBUs, and they have audience.
"This is one of those moments when I really wish I hadn't talked you into taking the Hokage title," Sasuke says, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath through his nose. "If I had kept my mouth shut, if you had said no, you would be just a jounin and nobody would care if you were sleeping with a former traitor to the village."
"I know," Kakashi whispers after a sharp intake of breath, his words barely audible.
"This is how it's going to be as long as you are the Hokage, isn't it?" Sasuke says in a weak voice as the realisation hits him. "It doesn't matter whether it's the Elders or the other Council members, somebody is going to have a problem with us either way. We will always have to hide."
A sad, desperate laugh escapes him.
"First we wasted a year to running away from each other, and now that we are here, we can't even talk in public without somebody running to tell the Elders."
"Do you want to give up then?" Kakashi asks, his eyes dark and tired and older than they should be. His voice is hoarse like his throat is raw and hurting. "It would be easier to let go now when it's only been a month. It will be harder after a year or two."
Sasuke's heart stops.
"You don't mean that."
"I didn't want this to happen to us, of course I didn't," Kakashi answers. His gaze jumps to Sasuke and away from him and back again. He sticks his hands into his pockets to stop himself from fidgeting with them. "But how can I ask you to be with me when we both know how hard it's going to be? I can't be so selfish that I would ask you to stay when that would put everything you have built in danger. When my position as the Hokage will always – "
"Lord Hokage!"
The shout cuts Kakashi off. Sasuke can already see a wild look of fear flash in his eyes when he thinks they have been caught, and it does nothing to ease the knot in Sasuke's stomach.
They turn towards the direction of the sound and see a jounin from their group walking closer, a map in his hand.
"Sir, could you please come here for a second?" he asks and looks at Kakashi.
Sasuke closes his eyes in the safety of his ANBU mask and balls his hands into fists. When he somehow finds the strength to look at Kakashi again, he meets his gaze. Kakashi is too tired to even pretend to smile and his apology is written all over his face.
"Sasuke – "
"Go," Sasuke says, draws a deep breath and shakes his head. He keeps his eyes off Kakashi when he speaks next. "We can talk about this later."
For a moment, it's like Kakashi would want to say something – he is still standing there, his unsaid words hanging in the air – but just before Sasuke gives in and glances back at him, Kakashi spins on his feet, brushes his wet hair from his face and walks away as the Hokage he is.
Sasuke watches Kakashi make his way towards the camp and knows full well that the next time they'll have a chance to talk won't be until they get to Konoha.
o0o
The 30th of June, the fifth year of peace
Konoha, the Land of Fire
The moon has risen high over the walls of Konoha and the night turned dark when they finally reach home. The streets of the village are quiet and empty, and their large group is surprisingly quick to disperse – everyone is in a hurry to get home and to their own beds. After the Elders leave, Sasuke helps out with the carriages and horses since everything else seems to be in order, but his tired eyes are already drooping, and his head is buzzing with fatigue. As soon as Lion jogs up to him to inform him that the Hokage has told the team to go home, Sasuke nods, refuses to search the diminishing crowd for Kakashi, and heads towards the Uchiha district.
Sasuke spent the rest of the journey behind the cover of his mask, avoiding the Elders, anyone that could be working for them, and Kakashi. Avoiding Kakashi was much easier than staying away from the Elders. As there were only shinobis of Konoha around them, Sasuke no longer needed to stick to the Hokage's side, and his new duty as a lookout meant that the only times he actually was with the main group were during the breaks. During the few hours Sasuke had to spend with the main group, he noticed that the Elders had found themselves a new hobby – they gave Sasuke knowing looks whenever they caught his eye at the campsites, and that seemed to be often.
Kakashi, on the other hand, was apparently just as happy to steer clear from Sasuke as Sasuke was to stay away from him. Since their last conversation was left on such a sensitive note – the whole discussion was really just a collection of loose ends – they ended up in a situation where the pretence of a purely professional relationship stuck, and the few times they actually exchanged words during the trip back, they acted like strangers towards each other, strangely polite and formal.
It's not that Sasuke doesn't understand why Kakashi is so uncertain about this, of course he understands, because he doesn't know what to do either. He detests the thought of hiding, but the last thing he wants to do is to give up when that's what the Elders are after. Sasuke also knows that Kakashi will never agree to openly opposing the Elders, especially now that it's Sasuke they are threatening and not Kakashi.
Neither of them wants to break up, but when the only option left is to keep hiding, possibly for the rest of their lives, Sasuke can't really disagree what Kakashi said about giving up now. That would be the sensible thing to do.
It's with a heavy heart that Sasuke survived through those days, and the same could be said about Kakashi. His posture never fell or his leadership wavered, but there were a couple of times Sasuke caught Kakashi watching him, as if he had forgotten himself into his thoughts. Kakashi always gave him a sad smile when he noticed Sasuke looking back but quickly moved on to his next task as the Hokage.
Tonight, the Uchiha district is a black blotch in the middle of the sea of warm lights of the village. Sasuke walks through the empty streets, his eyes laid low and thoughts elsewhere. If nothing else good came out of that journey, at least he got in touch with the Kazekage. Gaara had been more than happy to agree to help with the plan for the orphanage, and he had promised Sasuke that he would send some of his staff to help later this year once things calmed down after the peace celebration. That means that once the houses have been cleared out, all Sasuke has to do is wait.
Sasuke gets to the intersection that leads to the houses he chose for the orphanage. There is a light in the windows of the office building, and a shadow like someone is moving inside.
Sasuke narrows his eyes and changes his course.
He gets to the yard of the house just before the door is thrown open.
"Sasuke! You guys are back!"
Sasuke stares at Sakura in slight bewilderment, blinking, because she isn't really what he was expecting. She is beaming at him, her sleeves have been rolled up to her elbows and the light coming from inside the house make her hair glow red. Strangely enough, with her standing right in front of him, there are still sounds of movements coming from inside.
"Is it really this late? I didn't realise…" Sakura wonders out loud and peers at the sky, scrunching her nose up at the darkness. Sasuke stares at her in silence, he can't come up with an reason for why she is here.
He gets even more confused when she turns to call out over her shoulder into the house.
"Guys, it's time to head home!"
An incomprehensible shout can be heard as an answer, and then Sakura's yelling something back and exasperatedly shaking her head. Her short, messy ponytail sways with the motion. She seems awfully at home here.
"What is going on?"
Sakura spins around to face Sasuke when he finally manages to get his voice to work again.
"Well, I told a few friends about what you were planning to do here with the orphanage and they really liked the idea. And since you are pretty much alone with his and now you had to be away for so long, we thought we could help you out a little," she explains, a wide but still somehow almost shy grin on her face. She rocks back and forth on her feet. "So, we have been cleaning and repairing the place, and then we realised that we all had some old furniture we don't need lying around, so… It's only the office building, but I think it's starting to feel kinda cosy and – "
"Sakura – " Sasuke begins, his eyes wide and words breathy and thin like somebody had just punched him in the gut, but halfway through his voice dies out as he realises he doesn't know what to say. A overwhelming feeling gratitude accompanies the chills running along his spine. Sakura gives him a small smile and tilts her head to the side so that a lock of her hair falls from behind her ear to fan over her face.
When Sasuke gets his voice back, he goes with the safest thing to say.
"What do you mean we?"
Sakura blinks, points up a finger and opens her mouth, but before she can elaborate on the matter, Ino and Kiba come through the door behind her. Kiba's still tugging on his shoes, but Ino is already pushing him forwards with an irritated look on her face. Akamaru peeks at Sasuke and Sakura from behind her.
"Everything's ready for tomorrow," Kiba says with a toothy grin while jumping on one foot and struggling with his shoes. Ino steps past him and rolls her eyes. Akamaru dashes over to Sakura who bends down to pet the dog goodbye.
Kiba spots Sasuke only now.
"Sasuke, man, what's up?" he calls out. Sasuke, surprised that Kiba even acknowledged him, just nods.
Kiba waves a hand to Ino, says goodbye to Sakura and walks away with Akamaru.
Ino is not as an easy case. She comes to stand at Sakura's side, her hands on her hips as she stares down at Sasuke from her place on the porch.
"So, the prodigal son has returned. Fancy that," she comments with a stern expression on her delicate face. "Now, Uchiha, listen. If you ever even think about making Sakura sad again, I'm going to kill you with my own two bare hands. And don't think even for a second that I won't do it. She deserves all the happiness and I won't let any guy ruin it for her. Am I understood?"
For a second time in less than ten minutes Sasuke finds himself staring at a young woman in silence and slight awe. But honestly, there is really only one thing Sasuke can say to that.
"Yes," he answers, meets Ino's gaze heads on, and means what he says.
A slow, self-satisfied smirk spreads on Ino's face. She scrutinises Sasuke for a while, probably waiting for him to back down, but Sasuke holds his ground and eventually Ino believes him.
"Good. It's great to have you back, pretty boy," she grins and winks at him. At this point, Sasuke is beyond confused.
And just like that, Ino brushes him off, hugs Sakura, says something about seeing her tomorrow and leaves.
When Sakura is left alone with Sasuke, she seems almost bashful.
"It wasn't just Ino and Kiba, all of our old classmates have been helping. Lee was here earlier, and Tenten and Shino came by yesterday and – I know I should have asked for your permission, but I didn't know whether I could contact you since you were… you know, with the whole ANBU thing going on," she babbles on, not really looking at Sasuke but slightly off him. She waves her hands as she speaks until she realises what she is doing. She blushes, tangles her fingers together and takes a deep breath before her final reveal. "And this is kinda a part of a bigger surprise. If it's okay with you, that is."
Sasuke raises an eyebrow.
"And what is that?"
"I thought that since Naruto came back last week and now that you're home, and Sensei too, that we could have a party tomorrow. Naruto missed Sensei's inauguration and I couldn't attend that evening party, so we could celebrate him now."
"A month late?"
"Hey, it's a huge thing to become Hokage, and we didn't get to celebrate that with him. And Naruto was gone for so long that his return is a reason for a party too."
"Okay, but what does that have to do with you dragging your friends here to clean this place up?" Sasuke asks and glances at the house behind Sakura. He's stalling, he knows that, but he is so not ready to face Naruto right now, especially when things have got complicated with Kakashi.
"I was wondering if we could have the party here," Sakura admits with a nervous smile. Her voice gets higher and quieter with every word. "Since I invited our all old classmates and Gai's team and Sai and Yamato and all our teachers and Tsunade-shishou and we don't really fit anywhere else… "
Sasuke doesn't want anything to do with this party, because it involves people and Naruto and he will probably have to talk to Kakashi too. But Sakura's his friend, and he honestly hasn't seen her for a month. And there is a chance that Ino will appear from the darkness and maim him if he says no.
"Fine, do as you wish, I don't care," Sasuke huffs, outwardly as cool and collected and uninterested as always. "It's not like I need the houses for anything else right now. Is there anything else I should know about?"
By now, Sakura is looking almost guilty.
"I was kinda planning that the party would be a surprise for Naruto and Kakashi-sensei... Ino promised to keep Naruto busy tomorrow and I was thinking that maybe you could distract Sensei."
Sasuke presses his lips together. Just a week ago that request wouldn't have been a problem, but right now, when they haven't talked for days and Sasuke isn't honestly sure whether they are even together anymore, he is a little hesitant. Especially when Kakashi and he are supposed to make everyone think that their – non-existent, if the Elders gets what they want – relationship is only professional.
"Come on, Sasuke, please. I've got everybody else busy with the preparations, so I have nobody I can ask except you."
Well, Sasuke has to talk with Kakashi at some point anyway. He might just as well do it tomorrow.
"Okay, I'll distract him," Sasuke gives in. He hears a muted Yesh! from Sakura and rolls his eyes. "If distracting him is possible in the first place."
At least it's not Naruto he has to keep an eye on.
His house is dark and lonely when Sasuke finally finds himself standing in front of it. His feet are sore from all the travelling, his head is aching, and he is surprised at how tired he is – keeping constant guard up around the Elders is more tiring than he thought.
Sasuke sighs at the sight of his house, swings the bag he had with him on the journey down on his porch and goes through the full pockets of the bag to find the key.
When he gets the door open, he is greeted by a pile of mail, letters and newspapers and advertisements flooding all over his floor. Sasuke sighs again and wishes that he could just turn around, let the mess be where it is, lock the door behind him and go to sleep at Kakashi's. Since he can't very well do that, he moves his heavy bag inside, slams the door shut and grabs an armful of the letters. It takes a little adjusting and hoisting and balancing, but eventually he gets all of them in one go, and takes his loot to the kitchen where he drops his mail on the table.
A couple of identical letters marked with the sigils of the ANBU headquarters – only recognisable by those who are already in ANBU – catch his attention. He gets his mission straight from the Hokage, so they can't be any assignments. Sasuke massages the back of his neck and squints at the letters, but a yawn escapes him before he can get himself to open them. He has to furiously blink to keep his eyes open, and when another yawn immediately follows the first one, Sasuke decides to save the letters for the morning.
And with that thought he goes to bed and falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
o0o
The next morning, Sasuke doesn't even glance at a clock when he wakes up. It's weekend, he has the day off, and he refuses to think about anything that concerns the village or his old team. He drags himself to the kitchen in his sleeping clothes, tucking his hands under his arms to keep himself warm. He boils water for tea and rummages through his empty cabinets for any food – there is none, being away for a month tends to do that – and all that he lets himself ponder about is the list for groceries and the fact that he needs new kunais, and that he has a huge pile of laundry waiting for him.
Sasuke heads back to the bedroom with a steaming cup of tea, some of the mail from yesterday, and a book Kakashi has forgotten here tucked under his arm. However, his plans of a quiet, calm morning are interrupted when there is a knock on his bedroom window.
Kakashi gives him a tiny wave from the other side of the glass before he opens the window and lets himself in.
"Nobody saw me coming here," is his greeting as he closes the window behind him, his back turned to Sasuke.
Before he acknowledges Kakashi, Sasuke tosses the letters and scrolls on a chair in the corner of the room and lays the teacup on the nightstand along with the book. He slumps down to sit on the edge of the bed which is unmade and still warm where he was sleeping only half an hour ago. Only now does Sasuke look at Kakashi.
Their last conversation is still on his mind. Sasuke waits in silence for Kakashi to start this one.
When Kakashi eventually gets himself to speak, he doesn't beat around the bush.
"The spy's hiding place has been found."
"What?"
"It is in the attic of one of the apartment complexes near the lands of the Nara clan. There were clear signs of somebody having lived there for a while, torn shreds of handwritten notes, old leftovers and whatnot," Kakashi tells him, his mask still in place as he stands on the other side of the room. "But it has been empty for a while. The whole place was covered in dust when the genin team that found it stumbled there."
"Genin?" Sasuke asks, just as dumbfounded as he was before Kakashi started his explanation.
Kakashi scratches the back of his head.
"They had a D-rank mission to clean the attic."
So, an elite ANBU team can't find the spy's hideout even after weeks of searching, but a genin team runs into it on accident. Sasuke swallows the swear words that thought causes and tries to focus on the matter at hand.
"When was this?"
"Last week. I found the report when we got back yesterday. Of course we can't be sure whether it was our spy's, but he is the first one that comes to mind when you think about the possible owners of that junkyard."
"But we don't know where the spy is?"
"No. But he hasn't been there for several weeks. We know that I had the tunnel shut off a month ago," Kakashi says and for the first time in days there is a genuine grin sneaking on his face. "Maybe we closed his only way in when he was away from Konoha."
This far into his life Sasuke has learned not to be an optimist, but sometimes he lets himself be carefully hopeful.
"I could live with that," Sasuke says and leans back on his hands. His chest heaves with the deep breath he takes. When the morning sun finds his closed eyes, all he sees is red behind his eyelids.
Kakashi is still standing in the same spot, his shoulders up and tense, not unlike one of his dogs that has been left in the rain. He is uncharacteristically quiet and hesitant now that he has run out of official village business to inform Sasuke off. He looks tired too, like he hasn't slept.
Sasuke gives in.
"Get here," he mutters, moves to the side of the bed that is near the wall, tucks himself under the blankets and waits for Kakashi to comply.
Kakashi kicks off his shoes, removes the vest he wears as the Hokage and pulls the thick dark shirt with the mask over his head so he has only his undershirt on. He climbs on the bed and soon, for a change, it's Sasuke who gets his arms full of someone needing closeness. Kakashi, as tall as he is, rests his head on Sasuke's shoulder and curls himself against his side. His legs are cold against Sasuke's.
"You know," Sasuke begins in a quiet voice after a while of studying Kakashi's pale eyelashes and wondering whether Kakashi fell asleep just like that. Sasuke moves his arm into a better position from under Kakashi so it won't get numb. White hair tickles his mouth.
"Hmm?" comes the barely conscious reply.
"We almost did exactly as the Elders wanted. All on our own."
"That we did," Kakashi agrees, his eyes still closed. Sasuke can feel the slow, deep rise and fall of his chest against his side.
"You haven't slept," Sasuke states as he considers the dark circles under Kakashi's eyes.
"Had to go through the urgent messages and reports last night."
"Workaholic."
"You're just as bad as me."
"Hn."
As comfortable and calming as this is – as much as Sasuke would like to pretend that the conversation in the rain somewhere in the backlands of the Land of Fire never happened – Sasuke can't keep avoiding their problem.
"What are we going to do about this? About the Elders?" he asks in a defeated tone, his gaze forgotten on the ceiling. They have only bad options left, but in truth, it doesn't matter how much the thought of hiding threw him off his feet, he still prefers that to breaking up. "Do you think you could live with us keeping this a secret?"
Kakashi tenses against him before almost sagging against Sasuke's side.
"You know why I'm hesitant – "
"You don't have to protect me," Sasuke interrupts him, sharp and adamant about this. There is a certain weight in his words. "I can take care of myself."
Kakashi cranes his neck so he can look Sasuke in the eye. His brows are furrowed, but not in anger but thoughtfulness.
"The Elders are threatening you. They won't directly hurt me if we stay together, but they might try to ruin your life. And succeed. I want you to know that," Kakashi says in a low, deep, quiet voice. He sighs. "But that also makes this your choice."
Sasuke knows that staying together means sneaking around and stressful times for them both, but he has never been one to accept oppression towards himself or someone else.
"I won't let them tell me how I should live my life," Sasuke says. The smile Kakashi gives him is both happy and sort of given up, like he knew that this is how Sasuke would answer, and he both dreaded and hoped for it.
Sasuke lets one corner of his mouth quirk up with a smirk.
"And I think I like you enough to keep tolerating you."
Kakashi snorts.
"I'm flattered," he comments in a dry tone. "I can say that I don't despise you, you brat."
"Asshole," Sasuke snaps back immediately, almost on a habit, but his widening grin takes all the bite from the insult.
"Let's keep tolerating each other then," Kakashi states, and while his words might be playful, the look in his eyes is serious.
"Go to sleep, you old man," Sasuke says, rolls his eyes and pokes Kakashi to his side. That is his way of dealing with whatever emotions might have woken up because of that gaze.
His tired Hokage closes his eyes soon, the dark circles under them prominent in the light of the morning, and this time he might just truly fall asleep. Sasuke reaches over Kakashi to grab the book from the nightstand, and after a moment of moving around and trying to find a good position between the wall and the tall man curled up to his side, Sasuke manages to hold the book in one hand and get started.
It doesn't take long before he realises exactly what kind of a book Kakashi has forgotten at his place.
Sasuke rolls his eyes and nudges Kakashi to his side, but only so slightly that he doesn't wake him up. He considers getting up and fetching a better book, but that would mean untangling from the warm sheets and arms wrapped around him. It's really not worth it, and Sasuke accepts his fate and decides to find out what is so special about these trash novels anyway.
He must have made a disapproving noise at some part of the dirty chapter because Kakashi mutters a sleepy "What?".
"Why do you read this shit?" Sasuke asks and throws a disbelieving glance at Kakashi. He waves the offending book at Kakashi's direction before he continues reading.
"The plot is good."
"What plot, there is no plot – oh my god, people don't bend that way," Sasuke whines and makes a face at the novel. Kakashi chuckles, the first genuine sound of happiness of the week from him, and tightens the grip he has on Sasuke's waist.
Sasuke takes another look at him.
"Seriously, did you sleep at all last night?"
"Don't ask such difficult questions this early in the morning."
"Couldn't you have saved some of the paperwork for today?"
"I thought the plan was that today you'll distract me from finding out about Sakura's party. So I came here to be distracted," Kakashi mumbles against Sasuke's neck and yawns in the middle of the sentence.
It takes a moment for that to sink in. Sasuke opens his mouth, closes it, and opens it again.
"How do you know about that?" he asks in a weak voice.
That results in Kakashi turning his head and blinking one, red eye open to stare at him.
"I know everything."
"No, seriously, how do you know about that?"
"Gai sucks at keeping secrets. He gets so excited," Kakashi explains and buries his face in Sasuke's chest again. "So, distract me."
Sasuke hits him over the head.
"No."
Sasuke picks up the book, suffers through the lewd parts and reads a few pages before putting the book down again.
"Do we have to go? To the party."
"I guess. I feel awful enough that Sakura is organising the party for me, I would feel even worse if we didn't go. She shouldn't have, I never asked her to, the inauguration was already too much…"
"She wants to, so there is no stopping her," Sasuke sighs. "It will be loud and crowded and half of the people will be drunk as hell. People I last spoke to maybe ten years ago. And Sai will be there. And Naruto."
"You'll have to face him eventually."
Sasuke hums at the thought, not pleased. What do you say to your best friend whose heart you broke, especially you haven't seen him for months? Sasuke has to think of something. He just hopes he doesn't have to deal with both Naruto and Sai at the same time.
"Gai will probably challenge you to some stupid competition," he adds then and glances at Kakashi to see if his declaration had any effect.
"I'll win it for you," Kakashi answers in a light tone, sappy and joking.
Sasuke rolls his eyes at him yet again. He pushes Kakashi off him and sits up. The book falls off his lap and Sasuke loses his page.
"At the party, we'll have to pretend that we're just…" Sasuke begins and makes a vague motion with his hand.
"Friends?"
"Hn," Sasuke shrugs. "Won't we? Even with Naruto and Sakura. We can't tell them."
"That's what it's going to be from now on. I'm sorry."
Sasuke considers this for a moment. He knew that going against the Elders would mean difficult choices, but now he has to face the reality of it. And that means hiding something important to him from his closest friends.
"Well, at least Naruto won't hear about us, get jealous and go all Kyuubi on you," Sasuke notes in the end, leaning his head on his hand, and causes Kakashi to burst out laughing.
