Ranma the Forever Man
Bored...

When I was younger (much... younger), I used to dream about living forever. Being eternally pretty, maybe a princess or even a goddess, with her own subjects and handsome husband...

How I yearn to return to those days of youth, and vehemantly slap some sense into the idiotic child I once was. Perhaps after succeeding in that task, I would make a detour to my teenage period, and strangle that insufferable laugh from myself.

It's peculiar, the things you consider about your youth when you're over... well, 'not young' anymore.

Oh, to Hell eternal with consideration of my age, I'm old, older than any creature deserved to be.

Why, what an exellent guess, my astute companion I quaintly refer to as my dwindling sanity. Excuse my sarcastic reply, I wouldn't want you to abandon me too much sooner. Yes, I find talking to you like a raving loon humorusly ironic, indeed.

Bored...

At least you're good for conversation. now, where was I? Oh yes, this quiant little triad of how abysmal my life currently is in order to pass the time of having no goal in my never-ending life.

Yes, maybe I should start from the beginning, it would give me more to cover, and more to occupy myself with.

That lout, Ranma, decided to shatter the frail, lingering hope of exiting this madness, by telling me that I most likely would never return to my era, if that insufferable moron, Death, hadn't done it already. I understood Ranma's reasoning, in time; Death, as far as I can surmise, knew of everything to a certain extent. Spacial and temporal displacement nexuses being part of his hobbies. If I couldn't return the way I came, which I couldn't even fathom how that was, he would have found a secondary solution. Death has yet to return my calls on the matter.

Why yes, that was a quaint phrase of my own era. I use those on occasion.

Well, far be it for Death to ever give up. I'm *presuming* he still entertains the thought of finding a way to send me home. Because I'm IMMORTAL, idiot!

Ah, sorry, a bit of a sore spot this subject is with me. Please, be patient.

Anyways, I eventually discovered while I was still under Ranma's ward that I could not age. The bastard apparently already realized this after but a few days, but kept it to himself. My delight at the time (when I travel back in time, I must flagelate my teenage self for such naivity... I wonder what Frued would say about that thought), was swiftly clipped, when I informed my 'darling' (spit) Ranma that we would possibly be together forever...
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"Great, another wife..." the Forever Man groaned, before drinking from his fermented flower nectar in a vain attempt to get drunk. He was too busy wallowing in his recently re-intsituted self-pity to pay more than fleeting apathetic attention to the girl whose eyebrow was beginning to twitch in a rather irritable manner...
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Yes, I soon discovered the rather therapeutic and asthetic properties of bludgeoning Ranma with the nearest availible heavy and unorthodox instrument. No wonder Ak...

Akane, there is one that I had not considered in over three hundred years. Even now, her name fills me with a sense of complete betrayal and contempt. She used me, she attempted to break me like some common mutt or beast of burdon, and Gods help me (figure of speech from my era, I now know that there. are. no. gods.), I began to love her, and depend on her for it.

Ranma told me that it was her usual operating proceedure, particularly when she was molding someone into something more of her favor. I shudder to consider what she imagined my psychie should have been.

I'm beginning to find these contemplations too well depressing.

Damn, I'm bored again. If only something would break the boredom of my tireless trek across this...

........

There. Are. No. Gods.

Just morons with more power than they should be weilding, obsessed with making my life miserable.
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"NOW YOU SHALL DIE, ACCURSED WITCH AND ENEMY OF THE MOTHER OF THE AMAZONS!!!" A young woman leapt from the trees down towards the midnight-haired seemingly young woman's back.

"Xian-Pu..." Kodachi groaned, considering imbibing an elixer for the headache that had just arrived. Her left hand rubbed her forehead in expected pressure, as her right hand whizzed about, parrying the young Amazon's sword blows from behind with Excalibur morphed into an elegant blue whip.

Already becoming fustrated with the near innattention being given to her by the proclaimed bane of the Amazons, the Amazon huntress growled, "MY NAME IS 'SHAMPOO', SHAMPOO!! BEFORE I HAVE YOUR HEAD, YOU *WILL* PRONOUNCE IT CORRECTLY!"

"And I've told you prior," Kodachi said with a sigh, "That is the name of a hair-care product of my time, and part of a cruel joke from your supposed Matron 'Saint'."

"IT IS A REVERED NAME OF MY PEOPLE!"

"Of course, sure it is," Kodachi drolled, finally deciding to turn to the girl, while still effortlessly defending against Shampoo's futile attemps, "Xian-Pu, we both realize this is wholly futile. Why don't you accompany me? I would be willing to show you some techniques to improve your skill..." Kodachi looked to the side and half snorted and chuckled, "And I'm becoming rather tired of talking to myself..."

Almost immidiately, Shampoo broke off the exchange, looking at Kodachi wearily, "You want to teach me, regardless the fact that I'm intending to kill you?"

Half-smiling that the girl finally stopped, Kodachi relaxed, "I would consider it a favor if you manage to do so." She noticed the guarded expression still remained, and sighed, "No, unlike Ranma, I don't intend to verse you in bogus forms."

"You're not going to throw me into a pit of wild feline beasts, covered in fragrant meat jerky?" Shampoo asked with a tremble in her voice.

Kodachi rolled her eyes, wondering where that idiot Ranma ever dreamed up such an asinine training regimen, "No, nothing of the sort. Perhaps techniques that I believe even your elders are not aware of. Does that sound satisfactory to you?"

Shampoo visibly relaxed, and nodded, before springing at Kodachi, presuming the woman's guard down. The Black Rose groaned, and delivered an almost casual snap kick to Shampoo's jaw for her troubles that sent her flying from the thick forest.
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Great, now I shall have to be bored again.

I was really looking forward to Shampoo's accompaniment. Perhaps it is one of the effects of my addling sanity, but I consider her a good friend. True, she's persistant on slaying me for the preservation of her village (not that I really want to have anything to do with that glut of man-haters), and the honor of their Prime Matron, Akane (all right, so I am guilty of slander on that front), but what's a friendship without its quarks?

Shampoo is rather adorable, and from what I understand, affectionate and loyal to those who earn her trust. It has been a while since I've had physical companionship of any form, thus putting her in a favorable light. Even if she beheld the spitting image of my once-rival.

I guess I'll go look for her, to ensure she only landed on that dense, empty head of hers. I think I can endure the surrupticious sneak attacks from time to time. A journey is twice as light when there is one to walk it with you.
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Thousands...

Hundreds of thousand of bodies litter the once bustling city of Tna. The bodies of those who hoped to preserve the citizens, and those who were not able to escape the onslaught visited upon them. The mounds of fresh corpses sporadically decorated the once bright potential metropolis, comprised of both innocent and faulting; of loved ones, the valored, the necessary, and even the innately villianess.

Few ever had even a fleeting of a chance, but the majority...

The gutters ran thick with blood and clogging icor, causing it to spill into a webwork of streams onto the streets; painting the grayish roads the dirty blood-red of the sky. The citie's populace would most assuradly never recover. Any who escaped would never returned to such a damned place, a city that wrought the attention of a demon beyond their understanding and reckoning. A demon that delt death swiftly, brutally, with utter contempt, and without a flicker of remourse. Such atrocity hadn't been seen since the ghost tower and the centuries past slaughter by the Lillith, and even that failed to match on scope.

It dealt death so easily, so efficiently, perfectly.

After all, the demon was Ranma.

The Forever Man

The greatest martial artist in all the histories of the world.