BlackLynx17: Hi everyone! I'm so happy you all liked my previous chapter, it was another one of my favorites. I'm always trying to think of funny scenes between the J Gang because they're my favorite group. I always like making Lucy and Jellal best friends (as you've seen in Never Ending Fairytail) and Lucy and Gazille best friends (seen in Screw Prince Charming). I don't like them as couples, but I like them together. Strange huh?

This chapter right now, I hate it so much but at the same time I love it. The reason I hate it though is because when I was actually writing the scene (*spoiler between Natsu, Lucy and Lisanna) my computer messed up and I lost it. What your reading right now is a rewrite of what I remembered from their conversation, my original one was better though. It was beautiful, not to say this scene right here isn't. That first one though was probably the deepest scene I've ever written in my career so far and probably the best NaLu+Lisanna honestly, truth, love, rejection scene written in history. The sad thing about it though is that I'm not even joking, it was amazing fans... and it's lost forever.

Enough about that though, no use crying over spilled milk... unless that was your last cup of milk in the house. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the reviews everyone and pardon my French in the title. You'll see why I chose it in the middle, though I'm sure all of you can probably guess why. I love you all, ship Mest! Bye, bye.

D4sssy - Let's see, huh?

Smuthermuffin - Lol, that was a good one.

The Raver Otaku - Retarded whale, I've never heard that one before. Lol.

jennifer8-Mikan Hyuuga - Happily no, Dan will not be in this fanfiction.

We are already on chapter 29 everybody and we're almost half way through the story. It's crazy, I think this fanfiction might be longer than Issues. I had no idea how long it was going to be when I was typing it, only when I started breaking it up into chapters did it I realize that I probably wrote a whole novel. Last note, the reason why the title of this chapter is so funny to be is because this is actually a name to a book. I remember seeing it in the bookstore when I was younger and when I was reading this chapter, that memory just popped into my head. I personally haven't read the book, but I think I can guess what it's about. Lol.

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Mythical Creatures

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Chapter 29

Why Men Love Bitches

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"Lisanna, come to the restroom with me!"

"What's with you voice Lucy?" Lisanna asked me.

What was with my voice? I sounded like a robot, that or my voice sounded wiped clear of emotions. Was I nervous? This had never happened to me before, one of my friends liking a boy I liked. I didn't know what to expect.

"Let's go." I cheered.

"Sure Lucy!" Lisanna nodded.

As she got up from her seat I looked back and noticed Natsu staring at me. His expression was an alarmed one, once our eyes made contact he started mouthing words.

What. Are. You. Doing.

What are you doing?

"What do you think? Peeing." I said out loud grabbing Lisanna's hand.

I started tugging her along and we were off.

"Lucy, you didn't really have to pee did you?" She asked me.

"No, I just wanted you alone so I could confess that I liked Natsu too, well maybe I did have to pee if only by a little." I said.

What the hell did I just say? Wha- I just told her what I was planning on telling her without even staring her in the eyes! Or looking at her face! I just, Erza didn't explain this plan well enough! When we arrived at the restroom I let go of her hand and walked into the stall.

It was dead silent in the restroom making me realize that Lisanna could hear me peeing right now.

As if things weren't awkward enough.

When I was done I kept my eyes to the ground as I went to wash my hands. It was only when I reached for the paper towels did I glance at the mirror and see Lisanna's crying face in the reflection.

"I'm not going to apologize for liking him, that would be betraying my feelings. I am sorry though... that it was him."

Lisanna raised her hands up and cried into them.

"I knew it, I knew that, I knew he didn't like me. All those time we were together, why did he lead me on... was it my fault? Was I seeing something differently? Was I trying to see something out of nothing?" She cried into her palms.

She was blaming herself on something that wasn't her fault. I clenched my jaw together.

"Wait here." I said running out the bathroom.

I ran down the halls towards the lunch area.

"Luc- OW!" Natsu yelled when I pulled his ear.

I tugged him back towards the girl's restroom, which was actually pretty easy as long as I held Natsu by the ear. He came walking right after me, knowing if he stopped then the tugging on his ear would only feel more painful.

"Ow! Lucy! Let go! Girl, I'm a guy! I can't go in there!" He yelled but I didn't listen.

I pulled him into the restroom and pushed him towards Lisanna.

"Hey Lis- what happened? What's wrong?" He asked.

Lisanna looked up with her tear stained eyes and stared into Natsu's.

"Tell her Natsu, tell her the truth." I told him.

"Wha-? I shouldn't be here, I'm leaving." Natsu said walking passed me.

"I thought you were serious."

I heard his steps falter.

"One girl, one guy. That's what you told me, why did I ever believe it?"

Natsu walked back passed me and towards Lisanna; both stood a few inches away from each. It was blank, but after I blinked... I saw the connection between the two of them. I saw the way she was looking intensely at him and just... looked away. Suddenly, I didn't feel like I belonged here anymore. This was between the two of them, I shouldn't be here. But I didn't want to leave the two of them alone together so instead I walked into a stall and closed the door behind me.

"I love you Natsu," she confessed.

Silence.

"I... I can't," he told her.

I released the breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"I've never, I... I just can't."

"Why did we go out so many times before? Was it a game? Were you using-"

"No! Friends go out, friends have fun together... I, I didn't mean to lead you on Lisanna! I didn't mean to make you think it was something more. I knew what you felt towards me but I didn't want to hurt you though, I didn't want to make you cry so I never said anything..."

"I love you though Natsu, I care for you so much."

"I know Lisanna, I know... I just don't feel that way."

I sighed out again and smiled, no. Bad Lucy, he was rejecting your friend! Not a smiling moment! But wow, this was much better than the soap opera's Erza watches. Maybe I should write this down as notes just in case I ever want to make my own bad soap opera.

"She doesn't even love you."

Wait, what Lisanna? I never said that. She didn't even know if that was true or not.

"But I might love her though."

My heart skipped a beat. Hu-, wh-, why? What? I felt my cheeks flare up. How could he just say that? And in front of her! That's not important, how could he might love me when I didn't even love me?

"Why her Natsu?" Lisanna asked.

"Lis no, please don't. It won't change a thin-"

"I'll never be able to get over it if you don't tell me! Why her Natsu? What made Lucy so different from me?"

...

...

Silence.

...

"You'll let go."

"I'll let go."

I heard a sigh.

"She's a bitch."

You are so lucky that you said you might love me before Natsu or else I would have came out of this stall and beaten your ass.

"I don't mean it like tha-, well yes I do. I mean she was all rainbows and smiles and hahaha," Natsu laughed in a high pitched voice," so I thought, hey why not bang this chick and wake her up from lala land. Turns out she was never in lala land, she was in fuck you over land. She was faking it, fooling us. I've never been so tricked before, the guys has never been to tricked before! I mean, she kissed Gazille to make me jealous and get me back for trying to make her jealous! That was a bitch move, though I've done bitcher moves to her. She's was just mean and conniving and just ugh!" Natsu groaned before taking a big breath and continuing.

"I felt like I was under her thumb! I was suppose to be the one in control and yet it felt like I was the one being controlled. I hated her in the beginning, hated how she made me stare. I hated the feelings that arose when she was near me, how she made me pissed of at the guys every time they were near here! She made me stop noticing other girls and start noticing her, made me feel things I didn't even know I could feel. Had me caring for her... and every time I thought I had her figured out... she'd show me a new side of her I've never seen before that made me think," Natsu chuckled lightly, "interesting."

Wow. I was a bitch. In my defense though I was high half of times I was doing those bitchy things so...

"So she was something I'll never be."

"You're sweet Lisanna, sweet like the girls I've taken advantage over in the past. You knew what I was like Lis, you knew I was a playboy and yet you still fell in love with me."

"I thought I could be special, I thought you'd love me so much that you'd want to stop being a playboy... was..."

"I never wanted to tell you. I just wanted us to stay the way we were and be friends... I never wanted this to happen."

"She was the special one." Lisanna mumbled but I don't think it was for any of us to hear.

"Thank you, for finally being honest with me. I think you should go now," she said.

I heard a footstep against the tiles. There was a pause before I heard another one, finally he left. I exited from the bathroom stall and stared over at Lisanna. She was still crying.

"I'm not giving up on him. I'm not going to give up without a fight," she said staring into my eyes.

I sighed, "ugh that seems like so much work! Talk about a waste of energy, I'm getting tired just thinking about it."

"Why don't you love him Lucy?"

"I don't want to love him."

"Why not?

"I'm not capable to love, no that's a lie. I love you, I love Erza, my family. I am able to love someone, maybe it's the person. I mean the boy's a playboy! And an idiot! And what's with his goofy looking face?" I laughed.

Lisanna giggled with me.

"I think he's handsome."

"We have to give him that." We laughed.

"Are we... cool?" I asked when our giggles stopped.

"I don't think I could have had the courage to do what you just did so... yes. We're cool."

"I wasn't lying before Lisanna, I'm not dating Natsu. He's never asked me out before and I'm never going to ask him so we're on equal ground right now."

Lisanna nodded, "I won't lose."

It seemed like the time to leave and let Lisanna sort through things herself. I wanted to hug her but I knew she was still hurt.

"I'll just leave then and let you clean yourself up." I said then left.

I only lied to her once back there. Why not? She asked me. Why don't I want to love him? Simple. Love led to marriage. Marriage led to a child. Sooner or later one of them would die leading the marriage to depression, leading to suicide and finally leaving the child alone. I didn't fully understand the answer to the question myself. Why don't I love him? Why didn't I believe his love? I don't know. I wasn't looking for love, I wasn't trying to find it or accept it. I was just continuing the path I was heading down like I always have been.

Alone.


"I told you I didn't want to tell her! I knew that would happen, she probably hates me now!" Natsu sighed.

All I heard though was him complaining about not wanting to do the right thing.

"If you ever call me a bitch again, I'll cut you." I glared at Natsu, and if to add emphasis, stabbed my clay ball with my sculpting tool.

"I forgot you were there for a few minutes, hahaha sorry," he tried to laugh it off.

"Doesn't it feel good to have the weight lift off your shoulders though?" I asked.

He hummed, "weight, lifted, yeah."

"What are they talking about?" I heard Gray whisper to Juvia.

"I'm not sure, if we listen long enough then maybe they'll start making sense." Juvia whispered back.

"I'll tell you later." Natsu and I recited.

It was a lie on my part, but I wasn't so sure on Natsu's.

"You... you didn't hear everything... did you?" Natsu asked me.

"What do you think?" I asked him.

Natsu groaned and slammed his head on the table.

"Do you think you can forget that conversation then?"

"Just this one." I told him.

Because I wanted to forget about his might love too. As I rolled out my clay piece I realized I had completely forgotten what I discussed with Juvia during fourth. I wrote a little note on my clay and passed it to her.

How things go with Gray?

I saw her rubbed the words away then right something back.

One date, this Saturday though he might think it's as friends. I'll still take it!

I looked up and saw her smile and give me a thumbs up.

Finally her love live was coming along, now to work on the other J.


We had a sub for Geometry which meant ditching for all the Slobs! It also meant ditching for Lisanna, I guess she wasn't quite ready enough to face me.

"You all finished your projects?!" Natsu yelled.

"Yeah man, we had days to do it." Loke told him.

"I haven't even started, damn. Good thing Lucy and I are going to work on it Saturday!" Natsu cheered.

While Gray commented on that, Gazille poked me.

"Aren't you going to a concert this weekend?" He asked.

WHAT WAS WITH ME AND FORGETTING THINGS?! THIS WAS ALL NATSU'S FAULT! I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A GENIUS AND HE WAS MAKING ME AN IDIOT!

"Yeah, I completely forgot. How'd you know?" I asked.

"She invited me," he replied.

"Did she also invite you to the strip club?" I asked.

"NO!" Gazille blushed and yelled.

I laughed and pulled out my phone, sending Cana a quick text.

Something came up, I can't go with you this weekend. Gazille said he's all down to get a lap dance by a foreign stripper named Krunk though.

-Goldie

Her reply came seconds later.

Glad to see you're humor back, what happened? Pinky finally come back home?

-Mumzy Bear

I replied.

Yeah, we got a project to work on together. Anyways have a swell time getting sweat on by half naked guys. Throw some dollar bills for me!

-Goldie

"Lucy, what the fuck did you just text Cana?" Gazille asked me.

I looked up from my phone, "huh?"

"She just texted me and I quote, you're going to love Krunk. He's the best the house has to offer?"

I snorted before laughing my giddy ass off.


I whistled a merry tune, some catchy jingle I heard from a commercial before, as I walked home with Erza.

Plus Slobs.

"Why are we walking them home again? I thought we were catching a movie after this?" Gazille mumbled.

When the jingle ended I just started back up again.

"I don't know, ask Natsu. He's the one who started walking after her when she passed by." Loke's voice I assumed.

"Zip it. I'm walking my girl home, I didn't ask any of you to come with me. You just followed me on my own."

Now if I could only remember the lyrics then I wouldn't have to whistle the tune I could not get out of my head.

"Can you at least STOP WHISTLING THAT STUPID TUNE!" Gazille yelled.

I paused, then lowered my head as I stopped whistling.

"Lucy?" Erza whispered looking at me.

I looked up at her, the Slobs seeing half of my face, and started crying.

"It's not stupid." I hiccupped.

"YOU MADE HER CRY YOU DUMBASS!" Natsu yelled.

I turned around and saw him advancing at him. When Gazille started at me, I stopped with the sobbing and stuck my tongue out at him.

"You little-!"

He didn't get to finish, but I did get to finish my tune and then some.

"When did you get so evil?" Erza asked.

I answered her by whistling, who knows?