Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, its characters or storyline. These ditties are mine, as are Duke and McCallister. Enjoy!

..:-X-:..

085 – Rearrange

"I found the problem." Leon said, standing beside Tifa as they both stared at the disarray state of the living room.

"Oh?" Tifa replied, scoping out the room and trying to figure out for herself why the room looked so anti-symmetrical regardless of the furniture arrangement.

"This." He patted the top of her couch.

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes. "You are just determined to hate my couch."

"You are just determined to like it enough to drive me insane."

"You were fully aware of the couch in the roommate agreement."

"It looks like vomit."

"You look like vomit."

"Nice comeback."

Duke shimmied out from under the coffee table and jumped onto the couch, curling up on it.

"Ha, majority rules." Tifa chuckled. "Couch stays."

Leon looked in betrayal down at the dog, who just let her tongue loll happily.

..:-X-:..

086 – Interview

The reporter looked like a walking ad for cosmetic surgery and that "I'm being polite so you'll tell me everything" kind of face. Leon wasn't biting at the bait.

"Now, the 10 percent increase in funding toward reconstruction in Radiant Garden. You were a great advocate for this allocation, correct?" She asked.

Leon hated these one-on-one, sit-down interviews, but PR had hit an all-time low and if the Alliance didn't get any good face-time with the populace, things were only going to get worse.

"Yes." He replied, keeping his eyes away from the intruding cameras hovering around them.

"Now, why would you focus so much energy on only one Allied system?"

"Radiant Garden is the epicenter of the Alliance. Headquarters are based here. The Council of Representatives is based here. Before improvements can be made to the rest of the Alliance's body, the heart of it has to be healthy." He chose his words carefully.

"And Radiant Garden happens to be your original home world, correct?" She attacked afresh.

"Yes." He said slowly.

"Now, did this fact have any pertinent relevance to the world being chosen as a base for the government?"

"Most of the original Council members were former Restoration Committee founders, so it made sense to convene where the majority was already located."

"So the Alliance's first Council was based in world-favoritism?"

No, you moron, it was logic, he thought, but replied with. "In no way. The Alliance takes equal stock of all the worlds under its protection."

"But you feel inclined to protect Radiant Garden more vehemently."

"Yes." He wanted to get this over with already. "You would feel inclined to protect your heart over your hand, wouldn't you?"

"Are the other worlds so trivial to you?"

Twisting every single one of his words into something ugly. Typical. He didn't respond.

"And what is your relationship with Brigadier General Tifa Lockhart?"

His eyes snapped back to the reporter before he could stop himself. "I don't see the relevance of that question to this interview."

"You live together, correct? Could this relationship be outside of regulations?"

"Being friends with co-workers is outside of regulations now?" He said tersely.

"Of course not, but sources have implied that you two are—"

"What the Brigadier General and I are when outside of Allied matters is private and has no relevance in this interview." He said, irritated now.

"Are you evading the question?" She asked, sickeningly polite.

Leon clenched his jaw. "This interview's over. I'm done. If you can't ask intelligent questions, I'm not wasting my time listening to overactive gossip." He left without looking back.

..:-X-:..

087 – Mother Hen

Tifa closed the apartment door quietly as she returned from the store run.

"Couldn't find anything in Radiant Garden itself that looked like it would work, besides what we already have here. I swear, modern medicine the way it is, and there's still no cure for the common col—"

She was interrupted by the sound of violent hurling from the bathroom. She stopped in her tracks and grimaced. That didn't sound like the common cold. Leon had been out of it all day: swinging between sore and moody and tired and incoherent.

"Are you dying?" She asked, setting her keys down and crossing over to his closed room door.

"Probably." He sounded muffled and quickly started throwing up again.

Wincing, she turned the knob of the door and pushed it open. They'd never said it aloud before, but there was an unspoken rule: you stay out of my space and I'll stay out of your space. Tifa could honestly say this would be the first time she'd gone into his room for any reason.

His bathroom door was half open, exposing his top half bowing to the porcelain god as he expelled everything he'd eaten in the past week, it sounded like. His room was identical to hers, aside from the man element as opposed to her feminine touches, so she didn't waste time checking it out. Instead, she crossed to the bathroom door and poked her head in.

"How long have you been there?" She asked.

"How long have you been gone?" He retorted.

"Yikes." She lifted her foot and depressed the flush lever with her boot.

He hiccupped and groaned as the motion jarred his stomach. She unceremoniously, and before he could protest, slid the back of her hand against his forehead and found the skin feverish.

"Have you taken anything?" She prompted, taking her hand back and frowning.

Nausea abated momentarily, he sat back, face red from exertion. "No."

"Well, congratulations, it looks like you got the flu." She diagnosed.

"Wonderful, you can go now." He stood on wobbly knees and popped open the medicine cabinet.

"I'm just trying to help." She shrugged.

"I know, but I don't need the 'tend to the invalid' bit. I can take care of myself." He grumbled.

"Can, yes. Have to, no. I'm going to make soup."

"And that won't kill me?"

"Because you're sick, I won't smack you for that." She pointed. "It's from a can. I'm not really 'cooking' it."

"I'm not willing to risk it." He looked green at the thought. Well, green-ER.

She got out of his way. "Fine, fine, do the Manly Man Treatment. If for some wild reason 'rubbin' some dirt in it' doesn't work," She backed out of his bedroom. "I'll be here."

He waved her off, and she tutted, leaving him to his own devices.

..:-X-:..

A/N 085: Another round of Leon versus the couch ends in despair for Leon. Tee hee.