Adjustment
"... Lysander?"
"... Yeah?"
"I can't sleep," I sat up in bed and looked around the really small room we were cramped into inside the Temple. The inn was filled with wounded Crusaders so we had to bunk in the one room. Everyone seemed to be asleep aside from myself, Christie and Yuna who was healing the Crusaders and performing Sendings. Today'd been really stressful... actually stressful doesn't even fucking cut it.
"Right, what's up?" I asked, keeping my voice down so no one would wake up. I noticed her shift and sit up in the dark room. I don't think she'd slept the whole time we'd been here. Neither had I actually.
"I just... I can't believe she's dead..." She said quietly. I wanted to deny it and she she wasn't dead, I really didn't want Grace to be dead but there was no proof. I still didn't want it to be right though. "I thought she'd come back and everything would be okay and we could go on with the Pilgrimage. When we found out I've... not stopped thinking about it," I nodded even though she probably couldn't see it unless her eyes were adjusting to the dark. Mine's were a bit but I could only make out the shapes of everyone in the room. "If... when we go home, people will ask questions about what happened to us, where were we, things like that. We'll have to say something, I think. Then I think about Grace's family. They're not going to know what happened to her, they'll never see her again and eventually she'll have to be declared dead back home and..." She took a breath. She didn't sound teary, just upset. I thought she'd be crying. "I think about if... what if it happens to one of us? What if one of us..."
"Hey, Christie, just don't say it, right?" I stopped her. I wasn't going to let her think like this. "Trust me, I'm not going to let anything happen to either us, right? I promise. Nothing's going to happen."
"You really think so?" She asked.
"Yeah. Nothing's going to happen to us, I'll make sure of it," I hoped I calmed her with that. To be honest I wasn't sure if I could be certain nothing would happen to us. Before the Operation I was so sure that, because we were with Yuna on her Pilgrimage, we'd be fine and nothing would happen to us. Bumps, bruises and scrapes, yeah but nothing like severe injuries of death. I thought we could avoid that. Guess not. Guess no one's safe. I still said to Grace I'd look after Christie and I'd do that.
"When we got thrown from the cliffs, I blurted to Oblivion that I wasn't from Spira," Christie continued. She'd said that? I didn't really trust Oblivion from the company he kept and the funny looks he'd give me. "And all he said was 'I know'."
"What? What do you mean he knew?" I asked.
"I don't know," She sighed. "All I can think of is that he always knew we weren't from Spira. I'm sure if he knew I wasn't he must have known that the same went for you and Grace," It must have. It might explain the funny looks. Might. "He didn't say anything else about it and I didn't ask... I don't know what to do about it." Oblivion's normally with Seymour, so chances are we'll see him in Guadosalam. I wasn't going to stop Christie in asking but if he hurt her I'd fucking shoot his balls off. Then again he might know things, like how to get home, if there was any way to save Grace, about Angel. I wasn't stupid, something had happened with Oblivion and Angel in the past, considering their interactions. They'd known each other for some time, but Angel was only thirteen. They didn't look like each other, expect them both being ginger, but they must have known each other.
"You worried about anything else?" I asked. Christie was quiet for a while, I saw her bow her head in thought and tiredness. She was quiet for so long I actually thought she'd fallen asleep. There must be something that was worrying her.
"Not really, no," She said.
"Then try get some sleep. Wake me if you need me," I told her. I lay back down on the floor and waited kept quiet. I think Christie must have went to sleep not long after. I still couldn't sleep though since I was thinking so much about what Christie had told me, thinking about Grace, and thinking about what happened when me and Angel were waiting for them to come out of the Cloisters.
We'd met Isaaru and his brothers as they left the Temple and they had talked to us, asking if we were Crusaders. We told them we were with Yuna and then he got the information about Summoners going missing, which we passed on to the others when they got back. Most of the time I was really pacing up and down the bridge trying to figure out how Grace had died. I still couldn't understand. Again I was certain that, because we were with Yuna's group, we'd be fine, we wouldn't worry about this. Funny how things like that kick you in the balls.
Then Angel started asking questions about the argument I had with Christie. That was something I didn't get and had stuck in my mind. There was nothing to it. I was angry, we yelled and then we apologised to each other. She asked about why I was on the ground, if Christie pushed me. I said no, I told her I stumbled because I wasn't concentrating and fell over. She didn't press further than that but I started to think about the force that did push me. It didn't just feel like a blast of wind. It felt hot and frustrated which is completely stupid but that's what I felt when I got hit my that blast. Maybe it was nothing, maybe I was just too pissed off to think straight.
I decided to try get to sleep and not think of anything. If I was lucky I'd get a couple of hours of sleep before we had to get up tomorrow. When I was trying to get to sleep I heard someone leaving the room. It did make me jump a bit because I was half-asleep and the noise was sudden but I didn't think anything else of it.
The next morning was very grey and very quiet. We were waiting for Yuna to wake up so we could get going. It did take a while but Tidus went in to see her and she came out not long after, looking a total mess. Naturally we laughed at her expense.
"Yuna you look like you've been dragged through a hedge backwards," Christie laughed as Lulu fixed the girl's hair, smiling as well. Yuna's face was a picture; she was so embarrassed at herself but she was taking it in good fun. After a few quick and playful jibes we laughed and started to make our way back to the main path. Yuna was still pretty embarrassed though. I was fucking shattered from lack of sleep and I wasn't looking forward to going on the Shoopuff.
"So there isn't like another way round the Moonflow?" I asked when we left the Djose area. "You know, like a bridge or something? We have to ride the Shoopuff?"
"It's the quickest way across," Wakka said. "It'd take too long looking for a way around."
"What's a Shoopuff?" Tidus asked.
"Like a big..." I was going to say elephant but thought better of it. "Living boat. It's huge and you sit on it's back while it carries you across the water." Tidus' face lit up almost instantly at the idea of riding a Shoopuff across water.
"That sounds cool," He said.
"Whatever floats your boat, mate," I saw Auron smirking to himself, probably about the story of when Jecht got hammered and went for the Shoopuff, sword I hand. In hindsight, the story was hilarious but I can't imagine it being funny when it actually happened. My thoughts about the Shoopuff Incident were interrupted when we bumped into a familiar, and in my opinion fucking annoying, face.
"Good day everyone," Shelinda said to us. Yuna smiled and they shared a bow. I knew what she was going to say, roughly, and it'd already soured my mood. "We can all learn a lesson from what has happened to the Crusaders," Yup, mood soured. "Only the truly faithful have a hope of defeating Sin." Before I opened my mouth to get a dig in at her Christie actually came out from the back of the group and approached Shelinda.
"A friend of ours, a Crusader, Grace died in that battle," She told her, making the Yevonite's face pale in shock. Christie's voice was steady and calm and she didn't look the least bit angry. I thought she'd sound at least hurt or something. "I get that you were against the Operation, like all of Yevon, but please don't knock their, or her, efforts for trying to stop Sin."
"I-I'm so sorry, I wasn't aware," She did another bow as if it would take her words away. "I am truly sorry for your loss. I hope that you can visit her in the Farplane."
"It's quite all right," Yuna stepped in before I could speak, again. "It's been a recent loss that is hard on us all. We know that she died trying to protect Spira," She bowed quickly. "I'm sorry but we must be going."
"Yes, I won't keep you any longer," Good because I don't like you. We turned and left, walking up the Moonflow path in a bit of silence which was broken soon enough.
"Are you okay?" Lulu asked to start off with. It was directed at me. "You looked rather... angry back there."
"You looked as if you were going to kill someone," Tidus mentioned with a small chuckle, hands behind his head.
"She shouldn't be insulting the Crusaders for trying, I don't care if it was wrong in Yevon's eyes," I replied, trying to wave it off. "The fact that she'd known that Grace was Crusader beforehand and she still made that comment pissed me off more. I thought she'd give a little respect to a Guardian."
"I think, that maybe you're taking it the wrong way," Yuna spoke, again being as diplomatic as possible. "She didn't mean it like that."
"Then how could she have meant it?" I challenged. Yuna lowered her head in though but it looked as though she couldn't think of an answer quick enough. "She was all about stopping the Operation because of the Machina," I almost wanted to add that I felt it was like a big show to prove that Yevon was the only way and everyone who turned their back, Al Bhed or not, would be killed for defying their faith. I didn't, partly because I would have gotten a lot of crap for it from most of the group, mostly because Yuna's face looked faintly sad but she was hiding it well. I still found it weird that she was older than me. Instead I went a different way. "Sorry. I'm just not taking Grace's death well."
"Once we reach Guadosalam, would you like to visit the Farplane?" Yuna asked softly. "It might not help much but at least you can say goodbye." Apart from Grace I really had no one who died, thankfully.
"Yeah, if it won't take up too much time for you, Yuna," I nodded. Yuna seemed to radiate this sort of aura that made everyone feel better. I think it must have been a Summoner thing if I was honest. If I'd lived on Spira my whole life and saw a Summoner party I think I'd feel a lot better about the situation. Well not by much knowing that they were willingly sacrificing themselves. Still it was nice that Yuna was doing everything she could to make everyone feel better.
