sorry for the delay. thank you to wingedmercury for beta-ing. if you're interested, longer free talk on my LJ. the next chapter will be the last. thank you for supporting me all this time. please leave your thoughts!

xoxo,
m.n


Chapter 29: The Will of Fire

Every muscle in Kakashi's body ached. He had not felt like this since last year, when Tsunade had gotten drunk one fine morning and ordered him to spar with her. Kakashi had spent nearly three hours dodging the Godaime's attacks, falling trees and all, until she'd finally collapsed, snoring.

The forests surrounding their camp were soaking in the blood of the fallen. Kakashi had always found trees to be calming and comforting, but when they were decorated with the lives of his companions, they were uncanny and unfamiliar. As clouds began to accumulate above them, Kakashi waved to Genma nearby, who bounded up to him immediately.

"Looks like it's going to storm again," said Kakashi. "I need you take all those who are critically wounded and retreat to the medic camp. How many have we lost?"

"More than half of the team, taichou. Many jounin as well."

Kakashi grimaced. In death, ranks did not matter. He was truthfully surprised that he was not injured as badly as he expected; between the Seven Ninja of the Mist and countless others resurrected beings who could not feel pain, Kakashi was faring quite well indeed.

He glanced down around him, where both the bodies of the fallen nin and the sham bodies of the Edo-Tensei were scattered and interspersed. The Edo-Tensei was a terrible jutsu. The dead were supposed to stay dead. People were not supposed to be given second chances…though his brief conversation with Haku and Zabuza had him thinking otherwise.

"Any other news?" Kakashi asked.

"The Kages have engaged in combat with their predecessors," said the jounin nervously. "So far, the previous Kazekage has at least been sighted."

Kakashi uttered a low curse. The prospects of this war were growing blacker by the second. Who would he have to fight next? Minato, his father, or heavens forbid, Rin or Obito?

No, thought Kakashi, blinking the rain out of his eyes. Rin had been only a child when she'd died. The same went for Obito. There was no merit in bringing back dead children who could not contribute much power to this war.

Sadly enough, this realization brought him some relief.

Pakkun suddenly appeared beside Kakashi's right foot, his presence marked by a sound alarmingly close to a sneeze.

"Bless you," said Kakashi. "News from the medical camp?"

"Crowded, and with low supplies," was the unsurprising answer. "Sakura and Miho are at least in decent shape. Tired, but not injured."

"Good. Best keep it that way." Kakashi turned to Genma. "We'll march our platoon to join the Kages. I want the jounin evenly distributed amidst all ranks, with sensors at the front."

"The sensors are dead, sir," he answered gravely.

"I thought we had deployed three sensors with guards. Are all three…?"

"Yes, taichou. Some of their guards deserted them, leaving them under-protected."

Kakashi did not even blink at the news of this treason.

"Very well. I'll lead the vanguard."

"Taichou, that's not—"

"If there were another option, I would suggest otherwise, but it seems choices are scarce as of late."

"There is another option, sir. Chiaki Miho's skills as a sensor are widely known."

"She is better known as a medic, and I need her and Sakura to support each other."

Truthfully, Miho was best known as the widow of Konoha's most fearsome mass murderer, but with her recent pardon and Konoha's impending doom, no one brought up this rumor.

"But—"

"No," was Kakashi's final answer. Not many knew that Miho was pregnant, but Kakashi had no intention of sending her to a higher-risk environment than she was in already.

Genma did not continue to argue. "What about the Kusagakure kunoichi, who was part of Uchiha Sasuke's team? Orochimaru's sensor?"

Kakashi contemplated the idea for a while, but something about the kunoichi seemed…unstable. Her allegiance was not as complicated as Miho's; Kakashi did not need an interrogation to see that Karin still followed Sasuke.

"No," he said after some thought. "I don't trust her, and it's pointless—most of our enemies are dead, which makes sensors effectively useless. I'll lead."

"Please allow me," Genma said firmly. "You have led us far enough—our enemy will anticipate you being in the front. If we split our parties and you attack from behind, we may have a better chance."

Not necessarily true, given that the enemy most likely knew everything that they were planning, but Kakashi understood. He was in need of rest and could fade from the front line, at least for the time being.

"Very well," he conceded. "I'll keep Pakkun with me—take the rest of my team to the front." Genma nodded and disappeared from sight to carry out Kakashi's orders.

"From the looks of it, I think Miho would relish the chance to be out in the field," said Pakkun. "I arrived in the middle of some patient trying to bite her ear off when she was amputating his arm. They didn't have enough anesthesia."

Kakashi heaved a sigh, lingering at the very end of the exodus as they moved deeper into the forest. The rain was pouring steadily now, and soon the mortally wounded would die from the dropping temperatures and increasing infections. He was tired and trying not to be pessimistic. Naruto and Killer Bee had set out hours ago to stop the person controlling the Edo-Tensei, but Kakashi had not heard anything from them since.

Another hour and then he would have to seek out the jutsu-caster himself. It was either that, or they would all die once they encountered the previous Kages.

"Kakashi," said Pakkun abruptly.

Kakashi stopped immediately. He had picked up on the scent as well—something dead moving at a quick pace nearby.

"Nine o'clock," said the dog.

The assailant was growing closer but did not seem to be heading for the team. Nonetheless, Kakashi would have to stop him.

"Pakkun, stay with the group. I'll take care of it."

"Be careful, Kakashi."

Kakashi split from the rest of them and, following his nose, headed toward the incoming attacker. It could be anyone, and chances were that fighting individually was not the wisest course of action. Regardless, he needed his team to regroup with the bulk of the fighting force where the Kages were, and if this intruder was someone who could overpower Kakashi one-on-one, then his entire team was lost.

It was almost difficult to match the speed of his target, and the longer Kakashi tracked, the further away from his platoon he grew. The stranger was clearly not aiming to attack them, but instead seemed to know that Kakashi was following him and was determined to throw him off. Curious but wary, Kakashi sacrificed the necessary chakra for a Kage Bunshin, and the two of them split to corner the target. His target dodged Kakashi's Bunshin, heading for the left, but Kakashi knew these forests well. Earlier, he had planted a trigger-based Chidori net in a small clearing that happened to be several meters in front of his target; the series of traps had been meant to catch the user of the Edo-Tensei if he treaded closer to Konoha. Now, it would finally be useful.

The surge of electrical chakra confirmed Kakashi's suspicions, and before the target could turn to run, Kakashi arrived right behind him, exactly in the small clearing that he had anticipated. His Bunshin joined him.

The stranger was clad in black and hooded. He made no movement to attack, though the clear tension in his body indicated that he wished to run at the first opportunity.

"Who are you?" said Kakashi coldly. "Show yourself."

Surprisingly enough, at the sound of Kakashi's voice, the stranger turned around and let his hood fall. The crimson of the Sharingan shone as bright as fire amidst the night and brewing storm.

"It's been a long time, Kakashi-san," said Uchiha Itachi.

He was gaunt, pale, and eerie, just like all of the other resurrected beings. Kakashi was taken aback to see him, but years of training had stamped any expression of shock out of Kakashi's face.

"Itachi," greeted Kakashi warily.

"You do not need to be concerned," Itachi said. "I am no longer being controlled by the Edo-Tensei."

"How did you—"

"The details are not important, as the method could only work for me. Now that I've gained control over my body, I intend to find and stop the source of the Edo-Tensei."

Itachi spoke briskly, with the tone of a man given his duty and wanted nothing better than to complete it. Kakashi knew the tone well; it was the one he used with the Hokage when he received and confirmed top-secret missions. Now, though, the tone irked him slightly. He had a thousand questions for Itachi, but truthfully expected the same in return.

"Has Naruto updated you on…your current state of affairs?" asked Kakashi.

Itachi's lips briefly curled up in a smirk. "My current state of affairs is death, Kakashi-san. What I am considered by the living is not important. Naruto-kun has alerted me that you and some choice others know the truth behind the Uchiha massacre…but if it had been my choice, you would be fighting me right now, not merely chatting."

Itachi's sense of responsibility for his village was truly terrifying. Kakashi did not doubt that Itachi was speaking the truth; yet, there was a very obvious name being omitted from the conversation.

"Did Naruto tell you about Miho?" said Kakashi bluntly.

Finally, there was a brief flicker of something other than duty in Itachi's eyes.

"We did not have that opportunity," Itachi answered.

Did you even ask? Kakashi wanted to demand. Now, even, with the subject breached and the name spoken, Itachi seemed nothing less than unwilling to discuss it.

"Is she…dead?" asked Itachi carefully, as if there were spies tucked away in their surroundings ready to report that Itachi had made the inquiry.

"No," said Kakashi. "She's alive."

Oddly enough, Itachi did not even seem relieved. If anything, he looked frustrated.

"I see. And she knows this truth as well, now. The answers she has always wanted." There was a tinge of resentment in his voice.

"Yes," was all Kakashi said, finding Itachi's reaction more and more bizarre by the passing second.

"I see," said Itachi again.

A pause ensued, the gap in dialogue filled by a flash of lightning that cast strange shadows across Itachi's face. A deafening clap of thunder followed several seconds later.

Kakashi voiced a terrible thought aloud. "Surely you didn't want her to be dead?"

Itachi's utter lack of a reply was enough for Kakashi to know that he had guessed correctly.

"You cannot be serious," said Kakashi incredulously. "If you wanted her dead, why did you leave me a message to take care of her?"

"It was merely a precaution," he replied curtly. "Truthfully, I thought that even if Kisame-san did not end up killing Miho, she would find a way to end her life."

"And you wanted her to?"

"What I wanted never really seemed to apply to Miho," said Itachi dryly. "She was always rather headstrong."

"You know Miho has only done everything you ever wanted," said Kakashi coldly.

Itachi's eyes flickered, as if coming to understand that Kakashi knew more about Miho and Itachi's relationship than he had anticipated. His eyes closed briefly.

"Forgive me," he said. "You're right. Oftentimes, I do not give Miho enough credit. I am glad to hear that she is alive. If you would continue to watch over her…I would be grateful."

He turned to leave, but Kakashi stopped him.

"Is that it?" he demanded.

"Is that what?" said Itachi, bored. "What do you want me to do, Kakashi-san?"

"You don't want to see her?"

"I never said that." For the first time, Itachi almost sounded edgy. "But tell me what I can do if I see her—it does not change the fact that I am dead, and that I did not live for her. I know Miho better than you do, Kakashi-san. Right now, Miho loathes me with every fiber of her being, and for good reason. I am not saying she does not care, nor am I saying she does not love. Above anything, though, she resents me because I put Sasuke's well being over hers and my own."

She resents you for more than that, thought Kakashi, but he did not voice his opinion aloud.

"Appearing before her now would only remind her of the possibilities that we lost," said Itachi, "possibilities that both of us have considered endlessly, but it would not present any solutions. In death, I cannot give her what she wants. Seeing her would only cause raw wounds to fester. I have no desire to give her false hope and then rip it away from her. I've done that too many times already."

Kakashi knew Itachi was right. Time was ticking, and the sight of Itachi would only burden Miho. There was nothing to be gained if Itachi knew that he had left behind a child; it was not like he could help Miho in any way. Those who were dead should stay dead.

But the more Itachi maintained that he did not want to see her, the more insistent Kakashi became. Surely Miho deserved something else, some kind of closure, the slightest bit of conversation. Kakashi had just spent the last week fighting those who he thought had long been buried. Yet, seeing Haku finally learn that Zabuza had truly cared for him had changed Kakashi's adamancy for those who had died before to stay dead. The mere minutes of life after death were minutes of countless possibilities, to finally say the words that being alive had prevented.

"You need to see her," said Kakashi in a steely tone.

"…You were the last person I thought would encourage me to do so," Itachi replied coolly. "I thought you would understand my intentions."

"I do," Kakashi admitted. "But I have spent the last week fighting the dead, and I have learned that the dead have many things to say to the living."

"The living will not be living for long if I don't stop the Edo-Tensei."

"I know," said Kakashi impatiently, "but I insist."

"And I refuse."

"It's an order then," Kakashi nearly snapped. "Take it as an order from your superior, since following orders seems to be the only thing you're capable of doing."

Itachi's eyes flashed. Kakashi knew he had angered him finally, but it did not matter—anything to get him to Miho. Miho needed this.

"You owe Miho this," said Kakashi firmly. "We may not come out of this war alive, and some things are only worth it when you're alive. She needs to see you. There are things you must say."

"Things I must say, or things you want me to say?" Had Itachi always been this infuriating? Kakashi had always remembered him to be a quiet if not too-polite child. This Itachi was stubborn and angry; briefly, Kakashi could see his brash, younger self in Itachi, and he knew that Itachi had died too soon.

"Do you want me to tell her that I made a mistake?" Itachi said scathingly. "That I should have chosen her instead? If so, you don't understand Miho or me. Miho knows why I made my decision and even if she hates me for it, she knows it's a testament to my true character. I can't lie to her now—it would be empty and above all, useless."

"I don't want you to lie," Kakashi retorted. "You don't have to say a single word if you don't want to. You just have to see her first."

"And then what?"

"Apologize," he snapped.

"Apologize?" repeated Itachi almost mockingly. "That's what Miho hates the most. Apologies without any resolve or alternate solutions—she hates it when the only things I can give her are empty words like a consolation prize. I cannot face her, Kakashi-san. The only useful thing I can do for her is also for my little brother—keeping them alive."

Sasuke doesn't even deserve everything you do for him, thought Kakashi bitterly. But who was he to judge? Love was irrational, and the more Kakashi spoke with Itachi, the more he thought that Miho's love had been misplaced as well. Nothing was clearer than Itachi's utter failure to care. Itachi loved Sasuke and Konoha with the entirety of his heart, mind, and duty. He loved Miho like an afterthought, a mistake he had come to terms with.

The sky was growing gradually darker, and along with it, Kakashi's patience. He was soaked to the bone and cold, and now, the rain was beginning to fall in sprinkles again. He did not have time to argue with a stubborn subordinate, dead though he was. And even though Kakashi knew he should let Itachi stop the Edo-Tensei, there were certain sacrifices he had to make.

"She's carrying your child," Kakashi finally said.

The expression on Itachi's face as he digested the sentence bordered on hilarious. It shifted from shock to suspicion and then to a dawning realization of its implications. Kakashi almost followed the statement with a "Congratulations," given that so few shinobi ever lived to father children, but decided that it was rubbing a bit too much salt on the wound.

"…If this is a joke, Kakashi-san, it is in poor taste," said Itachi, deadpan.

"Fortunately, it's not," the older jounin replied dryly. "You should be grateful. It's the only reason Miho's still alive."

Itachi's train of thought was easy to read. The pregnancy was the only reason Miho could bear to remain alive, and Itachi knew that it was true.

"How…" Itachi's voice came out surprisingly levelly. "How many months?"

"Almost three," answered Kakashi. "I've been trying to keep her out of the line of fire so she can take care of herself, but the first three months are always more dangerous."

Itachi nodded numbly, processing this information.

"There is not much time, Itachi," said the Copy Nin. "We are in the middle of a war…but I believe that seeing Miho, if only briefly, is necessary. Will you go?"

"…Yes. Lead the way."

Kakashi should have told Itachi this news to begin with, just to save time, but he did not know if it was his information to divulge. Itachi followed Kakashi's lead faithfully in silence as he thought, most likely of what to say upon seeing his lover. Kakashi did not disturb him with additional conversation—Itachi's fear was nearly tangible and understandable. Miho was quite unpredictable.

Truthfully, he was not completely certain how Miho would react to Itachi. Was this a mistake? Miho had been slowly but surely recovering these last few weeks; would seeing Itachi now cause her to hate Konoha even more? Kakashi had forced Itachi's hand because he thought Miho needed the consolation, that this was an opportunity too improbable to pass up. Now though, he could see Miho reacting poorly to the unanticipated visit.

Regardless, the damage was done. Within the hour, the two men arrived at the medical camp. Itachi pulled his hood over his head to avoid any onlookers. The overwhelming smell of rust, sweat, and rotting bodies indicated that the camp was in worse shape than Kakashi had expected. Several hours had passed since Pakkun's last check-in, but Kakashi could sense Sakura's chakra in the largest tent. He could never sense Miho, but he would have been alerted if something had happened to her.

"Kakashi-san," said Itachi suddenly. He had been silent the entire journey, deep in thought.

"Mm?"

"Thank you," he said.

"…You're…welcome?" said Kakashi awkwardly.

"I mean…for bringing me here. I have been thinking. I know I owe this to Miho…child or not. So even if you are lying about the child—"

"Itachi-san, you know I am not."

"Ah. Yes. I understand."

Itachi was clearly struggling with how to take the news of his unborn child. For a man who had prepared for every possible situation regarding Sasuke, this was an oversight that Kakashi found unprofessional. Again, Itachi had not given Miho as much thought as he should have.

Kakashi let out a breath. "Itachi-san, I do not know if bringing you here was the right thing for Miho. You were correct in that this may set her back. But regardless…please take this opportunity to give her some form of closure. She has suffered enough."

"I understand."

Kakashi entered the tent first. Miho and Sakura did not look surprised to see him, and instead promptly offered him refreshment and immediate treatment. He brushed off their concerns.

"Later," he said. He needed to join Naruto and Killer Bee as soon as he could. "I don't have much time. I brought someone here to see you."

Miho looked perturbed and offered to meet Kakashi in the middle of the battleground. Hell, no was Kakashi's amateur response, but he reprimanded her instead for thinking that he could afford to put her in such danger. She needed to care for herself more—sometimes, Kakashi seemed to think that she was taking her pregnancy somewhat haphazardly.

He then lifted the tent flap behind him. Itachi entered, any hesitation and qualms masked from his expression as his hood fell to his shoulders. He was drenched, but he merely blinked the water out of his scarlet eyes as he looked at Miho and nowhere else. Sakura gasped audibly at the sight of him and then instantly covered her mouth with her palm, as if this would hide her astonishment, but it did not matter. Kakashi was not watching her.

The look on Miho's face was hard to describe. There was shock, certainly, but something else: hesitation, anger, immense pain, but more than anything, a dreadful fear and longing. Her body language spoke for itself; she was tense, gripping tightly around her elbows, as if she were afraid to reach out in front of her for her heart's greatest desire, only to touch thin air. Itachi, on the other hand, was impassive. His eyes flickered to her stomach, then back up to her face, but the gleam in Itachi's eyes spoke volumes, and Kakashi realized that he had thought too little of Itachi. At the sight of Miho, everything about Itachi radiated an intense desire for their circumstances to be different. There were no words and no movement to rush toward each other, but it was enough for Kakashi to conclude that he had not made a mistake.

He beckoned for Sakura to follow him out of the tent so they could leave Itachi and Miho alone. His student obeyed, and when they were several feet away and back in the rain, he spoke.

"Sorry to kick you out like that," he said cheerily, "but for obvious reasons…Sakura?"

The pink-haired medic had tears rolling down her face. Any stranger would have thought that they were raindrops, but Kakashi knew his student better than that. She looked angry and agonized at the same time, but she wiped her face hastily.

"Sorry," she blurted out. "I don't know why…I just…I just feel so bad."

"For…?"

"Well, I mean, don't you?!" she insisted. "You probably know them better than I do, but these last few days, just talking with Miho…I…" She struggled to find the right words. "She's just so…sad. And don't tell me all shinobi have sad stories, I know that! But it's just…I guess it's because sometimes I think that I could easily be her…and that makes me sad."

Sakura now seemed embarrassed in addition to everything else she was feeling. Kakashi gave a small smile and patted her on the head.

"You are a terribly kind person, Sakura."

Sakura blushed. "I'm not…I'm really not."

"No, you are. But you could never have ended up in the same position as Miho. You are too different…and much stronger."

Sakura was hesitant to accept this, but Kakashi knew that she agreed to some level.

"More importantly," said Kakashi, pausing slightly before he continued, "Sasuke is nothing like Itachi…and if you had followed Miho's footsteps, you would be dead, not suffering."

Sakura bit her lower lip, making her look like she was once again fighting back tears. Kakashi regretted his words. He loved Sasuke like a son or younger brother—out of the original Team Seven, Kakashi had found Sasuke to reflect his younger self the most. Kakashi had trained him, tried to sway him from the path of revenge, but it had been fruitless. Even now, he wished for Sasuke to return, fighting on the right side, but his former student's obvious killing intent in their last meeting had Kakashi thinking that perhaps he was beyond redemption. Clearly, Sakura was struggling to come to this conclusion.

"How did you find him?" inquired Sakura, clearly trying to avoid the topic of Sasuke. She gestured for them to stop so that she could tend to Kakashi's light wounds. "Itachi-san, I mean? And how did he break free from the Edo-Tensei's control anyway?"

"He was unclear as to how that happened…I found him when he was passing by my squad."

"Heading here? Was he looking for Miho?"

"No, he was looking for the Edo-Tensei user."

"Why?" she said, bewildered. "I mean, I know why, but surely he wanted to find her…" Her voice trailed off when she looked up at Kakashi, who merely shook his head.

"Why?!" Sakura said again, this time fiercely. "This is an opportunity beyond a lifetime! Talking to someone after you're dead—"

"Sakura, you are aware that the Godaime also had someone who passed away, don't you? Someone that she loved?"

Sakura looked stricken. "Y-yes, but—"

"Do you see either her or her lover sacrificing everything to meet each other?"

His student was stumped. "No, but…"

"They know their duties, Sakura. As did Itachi. That was why he did not want to meet Miho."

"Then why did you bring him here?" she demanded. "If you believed that his duty was more important, why make him come?"

Kakashi did not answer immediately.

"…I agree with you," he said slowly, "in that whenever I think of Miho and Itachi…I think the two of them are just, to use your word, sad. But I think don't think they're 'sad' because their love ended tragically—there are too many cases of bonds torn apart too early." He knew from personal experience. "The reason why Miho and Itachi are different is that…they have no will. Tsunade-sama and Dan-sama were united by their will to protect this village: the Will of Fire, we call it. But in reality, the Will of Fire is merely the will to live. Not just the desire to live—the will to live. They are two very different things."

"I don't understand…the will and desire are the same thing. If you wish to live then you have the will to live."

"For civilians, yes. For shinobi…not necessarily. And that is why Itachi and Miho are so tragic. Itachi wants to live—that much is obvious. You could tell the moment he saw Miho. He wants nothing more than to be alive, to be fighting for his village, and quite honestly, to be with Miho. But he has no will—he killed his own will when he received orders to kill his family. The will of Konoha precedes his own. It is what makes him such an excellent shinobi."

Miho knew. It was why she hated Konoha, and on some base level, Kakashi understood. But it wasn't just Konoha she should have hated. It was the entire shinobi system, all of systematic hierarchy and humanity that had created the world to be the way it was.

"Miho is quite the opposite," Kakashi continued. "Even when Itachi was alive, she had no desire to live on her own. All her wishes revolved around Itachi, and when Itachi died, so did she. But the only reason she is alive right now is because she has a will to live for her child, not for herself. If she had a choice, she would be resting in the grave already. They are two entirely different people, Sakura. They truly understand each other, but their fundamental differences are what make them…so sad."

Sakura silently healed the rest of Kakashi's cuts and bruises as she thought. It was nearing midnight, perhaps, or later. Kakashi needed to return to the battlefield; he would have to join Naruto and Killer Bee. He trusted Itachi to take care of the Edo-Tensei user, since Itachi was the only one who seemed to have an inkling of where the enemy was, but Madara was still pursuing Naruto.

"So you brought him back then?" said Sakura finally. "Because they needed to…reconcile these differences?"

Kakashi gave a wry chuckle. "You do not know Miho if you think she could reconcile anything. No, I brought him back because they needed a chance. Knowing someone too well sometimes can cripple a relationship. You start assuming you know everything that the other person is thinking, making conversation useless. But people change all the time, and what can change a man more than death? Some things need to be spoken aloud and heard. I brought Itachi back because he needed an opportunity to be honest, and given that this is his last chance…I do not think he will waste it."

Sakura stood up straight, her green eyes bright.

"Okay, that should do it. Are you going to head back now?"

Kakashi stretched his limbs, feeling refreshed.

"Mm. I don't want Itachi lingering too long. Tell him he needs to set out."

"Can't we give them a few more minutes?"

He wanted to. If he could have, he would let Itachi and Miho have all the time they needed as this war raged on. But duty called.

No, he was about to say. Tell Itachi he needs to leave.

The words seemed to have difficulty leaving his tongue. Sakura smiled.

"Sensei?"

"Mm?"

"I'll tell him when I get back. Don't worry about us. Take care of yourself."

"Mm," said Kakashi, relieved. "Watch over yourself and Miho. You two may be called to the battlefield soon—I'll try to stave off the order as long as possible, but it won't be long now. Make sure Miho stays behind if she can."

"Don't worry. Pregnant ladies get priority. I got it."

"I'm glad you're so smart, Sakura."

She giggled like a little girl, and it made Kakashi feel guilty knowing that such a small compliment could make her happy. When compared to how he treated Naruto and Sasuke, he had neglected Sakura a good deal. Hearing Sakura laugh only reminded Kakashi of how innocently young she was.

Too young to be fighting in a war, he thought wearily.

"I'll be off, Sakura. Be careful."

"You too."

Kakashi was right about to disappear into the trees when Sakura called after him.

"Sensei?"

"Mm?"

"You know…you're a terribly kind person too." She giggled again, but it almost sounded sad. "Don't die. Will of Fire, and all. "

Kakashi smiled. "I'll do my best."


How long had it been? Three minutes, five minutes, ten?

Say something, she thought desperately. Anything. Anything is better than this silence.

Itachi looked at her, expressionless. Two meters separated them. He looked cold, drenched, and impassive. He was more handsome when he was alive, thought Miho bizarrely. He looks pasty now.

But she devoured the sight of him. God, she missed him. Days, weeks, months. She had thought about him every day without fail, yet now, when he stood in front of her, she missed him even more.

She did not understand. She was supposed to be angry. She was sharp-tongued when she was angry. How many times had she gone over this speech in her head? She had wished so many times that Itachi would be there to listen to her. Now that he actually was, though, all words failed her. No matter how she tried, she did not feel anger. Her tongue felt like a lump of stone in her mouth.

Perhaps words were not necessary. The times she and Itachi were on the same wavelength were few and far in between. When they happened, though, words were wasted effort. They knew what the other was thinking. Now, she stared at him, and even though his face showed nothing, she could read his eyes. I'm sorry, they said. I did not want to leave you, but I had to.

What else was there to say? Anything she wanted to hear from him was a lie. He could not stay with her, no matter what. And she knew The Truth now. She did not need an explanation. She did not need him to tell her that she never had a chance to begin with. Itachi knew, too. It was probably why he refused to say anything. She wondered how much Kakashi had prepared him. Itachi's eyes kept flickering down to her stomach—he had to know. She could see it somewhere beneath all his regrets—a numb disbelief as to how exactly she was pregnant.

She did not know what else she could do or say. Throw her arms around him, but that would mean she forgave him. Blame him for everything, but why would she spend precious time arguing with him? So she said nothing, and instead merely looked at the sight of Itachi and his bright red eyes because she would never have the chance to do so again.

Her legs had gone numb. She did not know how long they had been standing there, just staring, but all of a sudden, all the energy disappeared from her body and her legs seemed to turn into liquid. She took a step back, trying to balance herself, but failed. Her heartbeat did not even elevate as she fell—Itachi bridged their gap in the blink of an eye and caught her effortlessly before she tumbled backward. One arm was around her waist, while his other hand grasped her wrist.

His touch was wet, vice-like, icy and unbearably dead. Miho knew the touch of corpses, the ones she dragged out of the morgue for autopsies. She shuddered and instinctively pulled her hand out of his, as if Death were an illness that could contaminate her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and suppressed her…what was it? Fear? Repulsion? He was a walking corpse. She had every right to be disgusted.

Itachi noticed and made a movement to let go of her.

What the hell am I doing?

She grabbed his arm and held fast, her nails digging into his cold flesh. His expression did not change—he felt no pain, but Miho did not let go. This was the last time—the only time—that she could touch him, dead or not. She wanted him, the feeling of his warmth and gentleness, present in the barest brush of skin and kiss. But even though she could not have him the way she remembered him to be, an Itachi who was a walking zombie was better than an unmoving corpse, because Miho could at least see him now, touch him, speak with him once her tongue decided to function, and she would not be so excruciatingly alone.

He knew everything, from her base repulsion to her overwhelming desperation. Itachi brought a hand to Miho's cheek, hesitating before he brushed aside a tear. His touch, cold, cold, cold, but still so gentle.

"I miss you," she whispered, her voice coming out in a dry crack.

Itachi gave her a small smile, his gaze soft and penitent. She felt like such a child. The words came out weakly and wanting—never had she uttered these words aloud, even though they were obvious. Everyone missed the dead, but she yearned for Itachi as if he were a part of her body that had been ripped out.

"I know," he said. "I'm sorry, Miho. I didn't want to leave you like this."

She blinked, and two fat drops rolled down her cheeks. "But you did."

"Not like this," he said quietly. "Not with a child."

"Would…"

Would it have made a difference? The question would not leave her mouth—she was too afraid of the answer, and truthfully, what difference would it make now? She changed her mind.

"You expected me to be dead, didn't you?" she asked. Her tone was not accusatory.

Itachi nodded. "A part of me hoped you were. I did not…I did not want to leave you alone."

But you did.

Itachi's hand wound its way in her hair and he pulled her to him. His other arm curled around her waist. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. His chin rested on top of her head. Each body part fit—they fit so easily, so perfectly. Everything was so familiar, and she could almost imagine that everything had been a nightmare—she was back in Kusagakure, in that cabin, in front of a roaring fire as the snow piled on outside, and Itachi held her, just like this, delicately and safely like she was the most important thing in his life. She would smile and hold him back, and the two of them would stay like that for so long, standing still, just listening to crackling of the fire and their heartbeats thumping against each other's skin.

But there was no fire, just the pattering of the rain. There was no warmth, just the cold touch of his skin that enveloped her and begged to take her. There were no heartbeats. Just hers, and hers alone, and they were all reminders of the impossible chasm between them. She could not hold him back. She could not accept.

"I miss you," she said again, her voice shaking violently. "Itachi…I miss you so much. I want so badly…to go back. It doesn't even have to be for long. A week. A day. One hour. Just me and you, just…just somewhere I'm not…I'm not feeling like this. Somewhere I'm not so alone."

His embrace around her tightened, but it did not stop tears from streaming down her face.

"I'm not strong enough to do this," she whispered. "I miss you. I need you. I can't…I can't see anything else. If there's something else worth…worth it, I can't see it."

"There is a child, Miho," Itachi said softly.

"Not without you. It was all for you. For you to stay. And now you're gone and I…"

She could not speak any longer. Her throat was so constricted that she felt like she was choking. How would she be a mother? She only wanted the child because she wanted Itachi, and there was nothing else now.

Itachi let out a breath, more out of habit than anything else, as he leaned his forehead against hers. The Sharingan she had hated so much had never been so welcoming.

"I could end it," he said calmly. "I could put you to sleep now, like so many times before when I wanted to give you peace. I could do it…and this time, it would not be so fleeting like it always has been. You would close your eyes and never wake up. And we…"

The three tomoe swirled, bringing an exhausted smile to Miho's lips. She reached up and caressed his cheek.

"How tempting," she murmured. "We would be together."

"Death is a lonely place when you enter too early," he said quietly. "It is a dark void…no beginning, no end. There is a place to move on to, but I couldn't. I was waiting…for you to follow. 'Soon,' I kept telling myself. 'She will be here soon.' But you did not come, and I did not know how much time had passed. An hour, a day, a year? Was this my curse—to have you in life only to give you up, and then never to see you in death? But now I know." He touched the swell of her stomach lightly. "It is not the right time."

"Then how long?" she pressed. "How much longer do I have to be here?"

He pressed his icy lips to her forehead.

"You will know. The crows will come."

"Did they for you?"

He smiled. "I Summoned them."

Slowly, she brought her hands to his shoulders.

"The last time you spoke to me, you said…you said that you and I should never have existed. That we only exist in our dreams. Were they our dreams, Itachi? Or were they just mine?"

His smile grew sad. "They were mine as well, Miho. More than anything."

"Not anything," she said. "Not Sasuke. Not Konoha."

"Some dreams were never meant for reality."

She would have scoffed and let go of him, but she did not. She could get angry later, when she was alone and he was gone, but there was little time now. Miho contained herself by pursing her lips together as her eyes stung with renewed tears. She looked elsewhere, focusing on the pinwheel necklace that he wore even in death. It was enough—she did not want to discuss how their future had only been a figment of their imaginations.

But Itachi was focused on the wrong side of reality.

"Miho," he slowly, "promise me that…you will raise the child here. In Konoha. And that you will not reveal the truth behind the massacre to the public."

She let go of him now, her eyes flashing in disbelief.

"We get time to talk after your death and you're going to make me promise you things?" she said evenly. "Your child will grow up in a Konoha that hates them—"

"A Konoha that is safe," he interrupted. "A Konoha that is stable…and will protect our child. You know I am right. Revealing the truth after the war will cause all the citizens to lose faith in their government—"

"You are dead and you want to talk about politics?!"

"Promise me," he said firmly. "Swear to me that you will live for our child and that you will do what I've asked…to protect the Konoha our child will live in."

"How can you be dead and piss me off in such a short amount of time?" she said forcefully. "Do you care at all for how I feel? For what I think? Do you think that you've done your job, convincing me that staying alive for our child is worth it, and now you can ask me to promise whatever the hell you want?"

"Miho—"

"You don't care! You have never understood just the magnitude of what you mean to me, Itachi—for God's sake, you're fucking dead! You're not here, you're not the one left behind and feeling like an empty glass surrounded by full ones who have things to live for, things to love. You don't understand just how fucking awful it feels, Itachi, every time I wake up and have to realize all over again that you're dead and gone—you don't know what it feels like to know you're alone because you've been abandoned because I never abandoned you! And now—"

The tent flap opened abruptly, and the two of them let go of each other and whirled around instantly. At the entrance, Sakura waved abashedly.

"I'm sorry," she said anxiously. "It's…I just sent Kakashi-sensei off and he said that Itachi-san is the only one who knows where to find the Edo-Tensei user and he needs to set out immediately."

Itachi nodded. "I understand."

So soon? Miho thought blankly. But it was true—Itachi was already adjusting his cloak and pulling his hood over his head. With a lingering look at Miho that could almost be considered cold, he turned away, heading for the exit.

"Wait," she said frantically.

He stopped.

"Sakura," Miho said, "please…two minutes."

"Oh…okay," she said, bowing slightly as she took her leave.

Itachi turned back to her, his face a mask of neutrality once again. Miho bit down on her tongue so hard it sent a jolt of pain through her body. Why was it that even when he was dead, Itachi always got what he wanted?

Last words. They were even more painful than the first ones.

"I swear," she said quietly.

Pain flashed through his eyes, as quick as lightning, and before she knew it, he pulled her back in his embrace. The promise meant so much to him, enough to spend these two extra minutes holding her rather than leaving her without another word. It infuriated her, but any anger was for her to cope with alone. She should not have wasted time arguing with him. She just wanted to hold him, wanted him to tell her that everything was going to be okay. She wanted him to say that he cared and that he was sorry.

"Keep your temper and tongue in check, Miho," he said, his voice buried in her hair. "Be kind to those who are kind to you. And…do not hate Konoha, Miho. Do not hate Sasuke. What little I can correct now…I will try my best to do so. But if I cannot…try to forgive them. They are not at fault. They were trying to protect what was important to them."

There was no longer time left, and she could not help it now. She held him back, her hands clinging to his cloak, and she was reminded of how he'd left her in that illusion when she'd tried so desperately to keep him there. But this was not an illusion now. Itachi was going, he was already gone, and Miho had to accept.

"Miho, I miss you as well," he said softly, "more than I dare to. But do not come too soon, Miho. I will wait however long you want me to."

After a brief squeeze, he released her. He needed to go—he had an enemy to find, a world to save. Perhaps she really was so narrow-minded, for she could not think of anything but wishing for him to stay. Itachi was at the exit when Miho blurted out the stupidest thing that could come to mind.

"Did you love me?"

He looked at her, almost confused.

"Truly," she said, "love me. Not…not because I was there. Or convenient."

He understood, smiling that same sad smile he always had when he realized just how little faith she had in him.

"Truly," he answered. "Honestly and truly. But if I were to live this life again…"

He looked at her sympathetically, and she understood.

"You'd do the same thing," she whispered.

His smile became kind and knowing.

"Goodbye, Miho."

And before she could say "Goodbye" in return, he was gone.