Chapter 29 – Negotiations

Summary: "Congratulations," Loki told him sarcastically, "now every dwarf between here and Asgard knows that we are here."

A/N: Sorry for the delay! I had a busy week and the editing took me a lot longer than I expected. I would have posted it earlier, but I wanted the chapter to be up to my standards. Hence, the delay. Sorry!


"So, dwarves," Tony said as they walked out of the house and into the garden behind it. By mutual agreement, they had decided not to leave through the front door, to avoid being seen by anyone from the town. Tony was wearing the suit once more, faceplate up and backpack thrown over his shoulder. He stopped by the large stone table and turned, waiting for Loki to join him.

"Dwarves," Loki confirmed with a small smirk. His armor had been cleaned and polished, removing any traces of blood, but the holes were still there - six gaping wounds marring the otherwise flawless golden surface, their ragged edges standing out in stark contrast to the smooth gleaming metal. Tony's katana was strapped to Loki's back, sharpened and ready to use, and Tony felt a strange wave of satisfaction at the sight. Loki came to stand by Tony's side and turned to face the old healer, who had followed them out of the house to say his goodbyes. "If we're lucky enough, we might even persuade them to let us stay."

"Good luck with that," Vedius wished them. He had already said his goodbyes to Loki in private and since Tony really didn't want a hug, he was relieved when the man stopped a few feet away, keeping his distance. "The dwarves can be vicious when they want to be, but if you manage to impress them, their assistance could prove invaluable." His gaze flickered over Tony's armor, eyeing the shifting plates. "Are you certain that meeting them armed is a good idea?"

Tony shrugged. "Well, they seem to hate Loki's guts, so I'd say that yeah, it's a pretty good idea. This way if anything goes wrong, I won't be caught with my pants down. If the dwarfs get hostile, we'll just get out of there. And if they're not, maybe they'll be so blown away by modern technology that they'll agree to help. I can always take off the suit later."

Vedius didn't look entirely convinced but didn't disagree, either. After a moment of hesitation, he gave Tony a reluctant nod and turned to Loki instead.

"I hope you will come visit me again, when you have the time. You know I have always enjoyed your company."

"I will see what I can do," Loki told him. "But if Odin doesn't imprison me, or some alien beast doesn't kill me again, I might entertain the idea of another visit."

"You may come as well," the old man told Tony. "I would like to hear more about how Midgard has changed since my departure all those centuries ago."

"I'll bring you a history book next time," Tony promised him with a grin. "Or a magic-powered iPad with Wikipedia on it. That should keep you entertained for a few years at least. Anyway, we'd better be off." He quirked an eyebrow at Loki. "You gonna get us out of here or what?"

"Has anyone told you that you can be horribly impatient?" Loki asked, but he was already reaching for Tony's arm.

"You say that like you don't enjoy it," Tony countered and yep, that was definitely a hint of a blush. Loki gave him a scowl, but his eyes were dancing with amusement, a sign that he was enjoying the banter. He managed to tear his gaze away from Tony a second later to address Vedius again. "We'd better be off. If anyone comes here asking for me, you never saw me here. As far as everyone's concerned, I am dead, and I would like to stay that way for as long as possible."

He got a nod in response.

"While I very much doubt that anyone will come here, you have my word that I will not tell anyone about your visit," Vedius assured him. "If Odin wants to find you, he will have to do it without my help."

"We will be off then," Loki announced. "Thank you for your hospitality."

"It was my pleasure," Vedius replied. "Safe travels, and good luck with your negotiations." He gave them a smile, raising his hand in farewell.

A second later Loki tugged on Tony's hand and the house disappeared from view, only to be replaced by now-familiar spot by the forest. Tony looked around, recognizing the place where they had first landed.

"Okay, so now what? Do you need this specific spot do to your magic mojo or…"

"Yes," Loki said. "Since this place has already been used as a focal point for a bridge between the realms, the residual energy will help me conduct the magic necessary for the spell. However, to accomplish it, I will need your help. Travelling between the realms is near-impossible without the aid of the Bifrost and I ended up overtaxing myself the last time I moved us here. I would prefer not to collapse again this time, so some assistance would be greatly appreciated."

"Sure," Tony said. "What do you want me to do?"

"Stand still for now." Loki stepped closer to him, wrapping his arms around Tony's neck in a parody of a lover's embrace. "I need a moment to gather my magic. Once I do, I need you to carry us both upward, as fast as you can manage. I will do the rest of the work."

"How fast do you want me to go?"

"As fast as you can," Loki told him.

"You do know that this suit can go supersonic, right?" Tony warned him. "I don't think that's a good idea with a passenger on board."

"A little slower, then," Loki relented. "I have flown several times with Thor before. It was not a particularly pleasant experience."

"That's because he's a shitty pilot." Tony gave him a grin. "Me, on the other hand? I'm awesome. Just you wait."

Loki shot him a slightly skeptical look, but did not comment on it. Instead he closed his eyes, focusing on his breathing. "Once I give my signal, take off."

Tony flipped down his faceplate and wrapped his arms around Loki's waist, hoping that he wouldn't need the stabilizers in the suit's gloves once Loki fired up his magical voodoo. It took less than a minute before Loki opened his eyes again.

"Now!"

The suit fired up a second later, propelling them both straight up. They shot from the ground like a rocket, climbing hundreds of feet in a matter of seconds. If Tony weren't so focused on piloting the suit, he might have used the opportunity to take another look at the alien world below, but as it was, he had his hands (literally) full and no attention to spare.

Loki was muttering under his breath in an unfamiliar, throaty language, and the light around them grew, blurring the air around them. One moment they were flying through the atmosphere on Vanaheim, rising high over the forest-covered countryside, and the next the spell took effect, launching them through space at a breakneck speed. Between his own injury and the threat of Loki's impending demise, Tony hadn't really been in the mood to enjoy the view properly before, but now? Fuck yeah, this was amazing. Tony craned his neck, watching the dance of stars around them with the expression of a kid in candyland.

"All right. This?" he yelled over the whoosh of magic around them. "This is officially awesome. We have to do it again sometime."

"You are not deterred by the nausea and vertigo that follows?" Loki asked incredulously.

"You're speaking to a lifelong alcoholic here, pal. If I got deterred by hangovers, I would have quit drinking booze at sixteen. This is what? An epic celestial light show followed by five minutes of displaced innards? I can live with that, if it means I get to see this." Streaks of color spilled everywhere around them as they flew, hundreds of stars rotating in groovy, mesmerizing patterns. "Most astrophysicists would give an arm and leg to see this stuff."

"Lucky you," Loki told him with a smirk.

"Yeah, lucky me," Tony echoed, but for once there wasn't any trace of sarcasm in his voice. "I get a hot dude and a trek through the stars? I'd call that a win any day."

Before he could say anything else, they landed on some piece of rock overlooking a ravine. The sun was just setting over the distant mountains, giving the rocky countryside around them a dramatic blood-red tinge. That was the first thing Tony noticed. The second was the fact that the sky overhead was an ethereal, dark violet color. The third thing he noticed was that it was really fucking cold here. The mountains on the horizon had solid snow caps on them and the countryside around them was nearly barren, the grey expanse of the land dotted only by the occasional bush or a tuft of grass.

"Okay, what is this, Alaska?" Tony asked, looking around at the tundra. Focusing on his surroundings helped him ignore the queasy feeling in his stomach brought on by Loki's planet-hopping spell.

"Nidavellir," Loki said, sounding a little out of breath. "The north, more specifically. The land of the dwarfs is vast, spanning from the icy north to the fiery sands in the south. There are several dwarven cities in this realm and each of them governs itself more or less independently. My transgression was against their king Eitri, who dwells in the southern parts and since the dwarves here had nothing to do with that dispute, I'm hoping that they might be more inclined to help us."

He took a few deep breaths to regain his equilibrium after the travel across stars, then reached for Tony's hand again. They flickered out of existence, appearing near the mountain range. They started walking towards it, and even from quarter a mile away, Tony could see the enormous metal gate at the foot of the mountain.

"Can they make the stuff we need?"

"Of course," Loki said, like it was obvious. "All dwarves can work with metal. Some of them just do it better than others."

"And these guys?" Tony gestured towards the gate.

"These are descendants of the ones who created Mjölnir, Thor's hammer. There are very few beings in the Nine Realm who could surpass their skill with metal."

"What if they refuse us?" Tony couldn't help but ask.

Loki grimaced. "Then we try someone else. It has been several centuries since my trespassing in this realm, so there is a chance that they have forgotten about it. A lot of those who would remember are probably dead already, so that helps as well. And - if none of the dwarves are willing to hear our request - we can always try travelling to Alfheim. There are still a few people there who owe me favours."

That gave Tony a pause. "Dwarves don't live that long?"

"No." Loki shook his head. "They are closer to you Midgardians in lifespan than to us. Most of them live for two, three hundred years at the most. Of course, there are a few exceptions, but as a rule, they do not live very long."

"Three hundred years, huh," Tony muttered, trying to wrap his head around the fact that Loki considered that "short". "Us humans must seem like mayflies to you, then. There one day, gone the next."

A shadow settled over Loki's face and he averted his eyes, pretending to study the countryside. "Yes, it is…" He didn't even finish the sentence, trailing off with an unhappy frown and Tony abruptly felt like an asshole for reminding him of the fact that they wouldn't have much time to spend together. In an effort not to be a complete buzzkill, he tried to search for a way to change the topic. The mountains towered above them, casting a vaguely green tinge on the land in their shadow and Tony got a sudden idea.

"You know," he said, making an effort to keep his voice light-hearted, "this feels like a bizarre, half-assed recreation of the Wizard of Oz. I'm obviously the Tin Man here, what with the suit and the general lack of emotional response, but I just can't decide if you're the Scarecrow or Dorothy in this scenario."

"I am not the Scarecrow," Loki objected, getting drawn out of his thoughts, "I am obviously more intelligent than a figure stuffed with hay."

"Well, you certainly talk enough for one," Tony quipped, enjoying the glare Loki sent his way. Inwardly he felt relieved, because if Loki was bantering with Tony, it meant that he was no longer preoccupied by thoughts about Tony's inevitable mortality. "Okay, so no Scarecrow. And you can't be Dorothy, either, since you obviously know this place. Which means that you're the Lion." He gave Loki an appraising look. "Yeah, I think the Lion fits pretty well."

"And what? I will find that I had the courage in me all along?" Loki said sardonically.

"Yeah, pretty much," Tony confirmed. He halted a second later when he realized what Loki was saying. "Wait, you saw the Wizard of Oz?"

"Obviously." Loki looked like he was fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "There was little else for me to do at your house when I could not move around freely and that film was highly recommended."

"Okay…?" Tony said, not sure what he should think about that. He had planned to poke fun at Loki with the reference, to use his unfamiliarity with Earth popculture to make a good-natured joke at his expense, but Loki had surprised him. Sure, Tony was aware that Loki had been watching and reading all kinds of stuff since he'd come to Earth, but it was one thing to vaguely know about it and another to be directly confronted with the fact that an alien space Viking understood his popculture references. He wasn't supposed to, dammit! It was like one of the rules of the universe - Tony makes robots, Asgardians don't know how to use a microwave. At least Thor was still adorably clueless about most human customs. Tony had no idea know what he would do if they both started using internet and quoting movies at him.

Loki didn't say anything to that, but it was clear that he was pleased with the praise.

The gravel crunched beneath their feet as they climbed the low slope towards the gate. It was fully within sight now, towering over the path and Tony suddenly felt like one of the heroes in epic fantasy books. He was going to visit dwarves, for fuck's sake. One could not get more fantastical than that.

"Are you sure they will let us in?" he asked Loki as they crossed the last hundred feet towards the gate.

"No," Loki said. Now that Tony looked a little closer, he could see the nervousness in Loki's posture, the way his eyes kept flickering around. Despite his outward mask of confidence, it was clear that he was apprehensive about coming back here again. It made Tony wonder just what the dwarves had done to him back then to make him this nervous now.

"Hey," Tony said in a low voice, "if they are assholes to you, we can just leave. Nobody's forcing you to be here."

"No, I…" Loki said, swallowing heavily, "I wish to do this."

"Okay then." Tony still wasn't entirely convinced that this was a good idea, but if Loki wanted to do it, then who was he to stop him? They walked up to the gate and stopped several feet away, deliberating their next move. Despite his resolve, Loki didn't look too eager to actually knock on the gate. Before either one of them could move, Tony got an idea. It was obvious, really - he had no idea why he hadn't thought about it earlier.

"Wait!" Tony exclaimed before Loki could knock. "If they're going to recognize you, why don't you just disguise yourself? You can turn into hundreds of people – just put on the face of some random Joe Shmuck and they will be none the wiser."

Loki gave him a wry smile. "As much as I appreciate your attempt to help, I cannot. The dwarves have wards in place against that kind of deception. In fact, they implemented them after my last stunt here. If they discovered that I was trying to deceive them again, they would kill me on the spot."

"Oh," Tony muttered. That was kind of a bummer. "Well anyway, if they're assholes to you, just let me talk to them. They might have a beef with you, but they've never seen me before. I bet I can talk them into letting us in."

That earned him a doubtful snort. "You are aware that they can be extremely stubborn?"

Tony grinned. "Yeah, but so am I. And I bet that I'm much better at this whole negotiations thing than they are. I mean - I've been selling people stuff for years. I could convince fucking Gandhi to buy a nuke from me. I know how to play this game. A bunch of dwarves shouldn't be too much of a problem."

"We'll see," Loki said. He still didn't look entirely convinced. Tony also noticed that despite all his talk, the demigod still wasn't making any move to actually knock on the gate.

"Here, let me do this," Tony told him. He took two steps and raised his fist, knocking three times on the gate. The metal made a loud, melodic thud when the titanium armor met the gate, echoing inside the mountain. "Wow, talk about good acoustics," Tony mumbled as he stepped back.

"Congratulations," Loki told him sarcastically, "now every dwarf between here and Asgard knows that we are here."

Tony didn't feel too bothered by that fact.

"Well, I've never been a particularly low-key guy, if you know what I mean." He'd been dying to use that pun for years and Loki's reaction didn't disappoint. The demigod gave a low, amused snort before he schooled his expression again, trying to look disapproving.

"Now you're just being obnoxious," Loki told him, but there was a hint of a grin playing around the corners of his mouth.

"When am I ever not?" Tony retorted. "Besides, you wouldn't want it any other way."

Their banter got interrupted when the gate cracked open a few inches and an annoyed-looking dwarf peeked out.

"If you two Outworlders are done bickering, maybe you can tell us what you want."

Loki stepped forward, drawing himself to his full height. "We wish to speak to your leader."

The dwarf's eyes flickered from Loki to Tony, lingering over the sleek lines of the suit before he looked up at Loki again.

"Who are you?" he asked brusquely.

Loki only hesitated for a second before he replied. "I am Loki of Jötunheim and this is Anthony Stark of Midgard."

The dwarf gave them another, longer look before he nodded once.

"Wait here. I will relay your request to the King."

And with that the gate slammed shut again, leaving them outside.

"What a great guy," Tony quipped into the silence. "So polite and friendly. My PR people could definitely learn from him."

"Dwarves rarely have any contact with the outside world," Loki explained. "They live on their own, isolated from all the other realms. As a result, they tend to be…less than amiable when they come into contact with people from outside."

"So, basically, we'll be dealing with a bunch of crabby, xenophobic pricks?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

Loki inclined his head slowly. "You can put it that way."

"Awesome," Tony muttered. He looked up, admiring the wrought metal gate. It was decorated with intricate reliefs that were divided into several levels, each one telling a different story. From the look of things, most of those stories were about battles and conquests. The figures in those reliefs were caught in the middle of bloodshed, axes raised and enemies littering the ground. Tony suddenly felt really glad that he had brought his suit along. Those guys may be half his size, but he had no doubt that they could pack a punch when they wished.

Tony and Loki stood before the gate to the dwarven realm and waited. And waited. After half an hour of standing around Tony ran out of patience and took off, making a slow lap around the nearest mountaintop to explore the countryside a bit. The only things he discovered were more rocks and tiny spiky bushes, not a single living thing in sight. Oh, and a semi-active volcano, which was spewing little clouds of ash a few miles to the east. Once he concluded that there really wasn't much else to see here, he landed back in front of Loki, who was leaning on the wall next to the gate, looking bored out of his mind.

"Still nothing?"

Loki looked up from his examination of his fingernails. "No, it has been quiet. They are biding their time."

Tony opened his faceplate and leaned on the wall next to him, their shoulders just an inch apart.

"Say what you want about these guys, but their customer service sucks. It's been years since I last had to wait for a business partner to arrive to a meeting. Usually they wait for me, because I can't be bothered to arrive on time. No wonder they're always so pissed. This sucks."

"Maybe this will finally teach you some humility," Loki drawled. "You are far too spoiled."

"Says the heir to the throne of the richest, most advanced kingdom in the Nine Realms," Tony shot back, enjoying Loki's scowl. "You know, back on Earth we have a saying about a pot and kettle that applies really well in this situation. Sure, we could debate responsibility and privilege all day if you wanted to, but I think that in this particular conversation you don't really have a leg to stand on."

Loki shook his head, trying (and failing) to hold onto the disapproving expression.

"You really enjoy being right, don't you?" He turned towards Tony, meeting his gaze. Thanks to the boost from the armor, Tony was almost the same height as him like this. "You are lucky that you are so charming, or I might have strangled you long ago."

"Oooh, kinky," Tony said, making Loki chuckle. "So, I'm charming now, am I?"

"You are fully aware of the effect you have on people," Loki said in a low voice, leaning even closer. There were only a few inches separating them now and Tony enjoyed the chemistry, the slowly building anticipation before the kiss.

"Do you think the dwarves would mind if we popped away for a while, blew off some steam?" he asked with false innocence. Despite his flirty tone, he was actually only half serious when he suggested it. After all, it really was fucking cold here. He didn't think his junk would be too happy if he whipped it out into the cold.

Loki shook his head, a hint of regret entering his voice. "The waiting is part of the tradition," he explained. "It is an annoying formality, but it has to be observed. If the dwarves came out and found that we did not comply with the ancient customs, they would kill us both."

"So that's off the table then, too bad. Dwarvish customs suck." Tony thought for a moment, then gave Loki a look. "Hey, do the traditions say anything about making out in front of the gate? I mean, as long as we stay here, it should be okay, right?" Even as he said that, he took a step forward, backing Loki into the wall, and propped his hands on either side on his head. "It's too bad that it's so cold here, we could have had more fun if I was out of the armor."

Loki's arms snaked around his waist, gripping the sleek metal.

"It is a pity, truly. However, if you are feeling cold, I am sure I could find a way to warm you up."

He gave Tony a smile and leaned forward, brushing his nose against Tony's. The tip of his nose was cool when it touched Tony's cheek, colder that it usually was, but Tony didn't mind. He crossed the last inch between them and captured Loki's lips, mindful not to poke him with the edges of the helmet around his face. Loki made a pleased little sound and pressed himself closer, metal clanging against metal when their chestplates clicked together. They kept the kisses short and fairly chaste, aware that the dwarves could come back any time. And as much as Tony wouldn't mind giving them a show, he really didn't want to lead the negotiations with a raging erection in his pants. If the dwarves really were as stubborn and stingy as Loki claimed, he would need his mind working at 100% capacity to persuade them.

They pulled apart when the gate finally started to open again.

"Well, it's about damn time," Tony muttered, slapping the faceplate down. "My toes are freezing off."

He and Loki stepped away from the wall and walked out to stand in front of the gate again. The heavy metal doors opened slowly, revealing a group of grumpy-looking dwarves. To Tony's surprise, they looked a lot like the stereotypical dwarves from Earth fantasy books – about four feet tall, stocky and very muscular. They were all wearing elaborate battle armor, with weapons strapped to their backs; their angular, bearded faces set in near identical hostile frowns.

A guy who must have been their leader (if the gold-plated armor was any indication) stepped forward, his two auburn braids swinging on his chest as he did so. His gaze slid from Loki to Tony and back, shrewd amber eyes taking in every detail.

"I am Bori, son of Eitri, king of this land. Who are you and what do you want?" He folded his arms, staring them down (well, as much as someone who is four feet tall can stare down someone twice his height).

"I am Loki of Jötunheim," Loki began, repeating what he had already told the dwarf at the gate, "and this is Anthony Stark of Midgard. We have come here to seek your assistance." He gave the dwarf a small bow, waiting for his reply. After the sharp look that Loki sent him out of the corner of his eye, Tony hastily bowed as well, though he felt kinda stupid doing it. But oh hey, alien customs and all that. Better not piss them off right off the bat.

"You are known to us, Loki Lie-Smith," the dwarf said in his sonorous baritone. Judging by the disdainful tone in his voice, the things he'd heard probably weren't anything good. "We know of your deceptive ways and penchant for trickery. You may have fooled our kin before, but we will not allow you to fool us, too."

"That was ages ago!" Loki protested, his mask of politeness slipping a little.

"The dwarves have long memories," Bori shot back, unimpressed. "We are not as simple-minded as you think. My answer to you is no. I know not what you seek here, but I will not hear your request. I refuse to deal with thieves and deceivers."

He made a move to turn away but before he could, Tony stepped forward, flipping up his faceplate.

"Well, luckily for you, you won't have to," he said, speaking quickly before the dwarves made up their minds and decided to bail on them. "The one you'll be dealing with is actually me. I'm the one who needs stuff from you. Loki is only here as my guide and business partner."

A flicker of surprise flashed over the dwarf's face before he schooled it into something neutral again.

"Why do you think we would deal with you, Midgardian, when we have already turned away your companion?"

"Because you may hate his guts, but you have never seen me before," Tony reasoned. "You have no idea what I can do, or what I can offer you."

The dwarf didn't move a muscle, but it was clear that he was thinking the whole thing over.

"Very well, let's hear your request first. You can present your offers later."

Tony licked his lips, suddenly aware of the fact that it had been several hours since he had last drunk anything. Instead of buttering them up, he decided to cut straight to the chase. These guys didn't look like a particularly patient lot.

"I need to borrow one of your forges for a while. Loki hired me to make something for him, but my house kinda blew up recently and I no longer have the means to fulfill the commission."

"Why should we let you inside our realm?" the dwarf inquired, looking unimpressed. "It is no concern of ours that your own forge can no longer be used."

Tony pretended to think.

"Well, it just happens that I am one of the richest men on Earth. Midgard. Whatever." He waved a hand focusing back on the topic. He tried to remember what Loki and Vedius had told him about dwarves before their departure from Vanaheim. The lecture had been pretty long and his head had hurt by the time they were finished, but he had picked up a few important pointers along the way. Like the fact that dwarves were apparently greedy and loved hoarding money, knowledge and technology. If he could exploit that, maybe he could find a way to convince them. "Anyway, the point is that I can give you anything you want. You want gold? I can get you enough to build a fucking palace. I can get you jewels, or rare materials or a fucking unicorn horn – well, not a unicorn horn, that would be ridiculous because unicorns don't exist, but you get my meaning, right? I can give you pretty much anything. You just have to tell me what you want."

By now the dwarves were looking at him like he'd grown a second head. Tony's rambling tended to have that effect on people. It was good to know that this particular aspect seemed to be universal, no matter the place. Since the dwarves still hadn't said anything, Tony continued.

"Or, I can share some of our technology with you. I'm the guy who makes the most advanced designs on Earth. You want solar-powered stuff? Antimatter generators? Particle accelerator? I can build it for you."

He might have as well been speaking gobbledygook at them, for all the reaction he got.

"Midgard has nothing to offer us," the leader answered in a clipped tone.

"That's bullshit," Tony shot back. Next to him, he saw Loki stiffen and shoot him a warning glance, but Tony couldn't bring himself to care. Sure, everyone said you were supposed to be polite to dwarves, but nobody mentioned what a bunch of insufferable dicks they were. "I mean, have you guys been to Earth lately? I guess not because then you would have seen just how much has changed over the years. We're not some bunch of savages that dig around in the dirt and think that lightning is magic, you know. We have science. People ride around in rocket-powered cars. We have a web of information encompassing the entirety of human knowledge that can be accessed by anyone, at any time, from any place in the world. We've got fucking spaceships that travel to the Moon." By now he was gesticulating, accompanying his words with animated movements of his hands.

The dwarves still looked unimpressed. Tony desperately tried to search for something that would catch their interest. His eyes slid to Loki and he suddenly remembered one of their previous conversations. These guys didn't seem too interested in modern technology, but maybe a bit of old-school smithing could change their mind.

"Hey," he said slowly, changing the topic. "You're the guys who made Thor's hammer, right?"

"Aye." One of the other dwarves in the king's entourage nodded reluctantly. "Mjölnir came out this smithy, forged by the hands of our forefathers."

"Well, my dad made a shield that repels Thor's hammer," Tony informed them smugly. "When Thor tried to hit it, it made him fly fifty feet through the air and gave him a bitch of a headache. Which reminds me," he turned to Loki in an exaggerated move, "hey, Thor is considered to be one of the best fighters on Asgard, right?"

"Yes," Loki confirmed, playing along. "As much as I hate to admit it, my brother has always been the superior fighter of the two of us." Tony wondered how much effort it took to say that with a straight face. Tony gave him a nod of thanks and turned back to the dwarves.

"Well, I beat the shit out of Thor in this suit," Tony said, feeling greatly entertained by the way their eyebrows climbed up. "If my friend with the shield hadn't stopped us, I might have killed him." It was only a little exaggerated, Tony told himself. He could have totally kicked Thor's ass if the good Captain hadn't decided to be a buzzkill. Since the dwarves looked reluctantly impressed, Tony continued, flexing the suit a little to show off the beautiful craftsmanship.

"This battlesuit is only one of several that I have. You know what else I have made? An artificial intelligence. Bombs that can wipe out entire countries in the blink of an eye. Air satellites that can find anyone, anywhere in the world." The technobabble didn't seem to impress them all that much so Tony tried to search for more poetic variants. "I have created a metal that kills magic. Suits of armor controlled by a thought." He hesitated for a second, thinking it would be stupid to mention Dummy as an example of the excellence of his craftsmanship, but then he remembered how amazed by him had Loki been. "I took metal and wires and gave them a soul. I have three metallic creatures powered by lightning in my workshop that can think and feel. One of them hates cleaning up and loves bad music and sometimes hides my stuff when I'm not looking."

When the dwarves still said nothing, their stony expressions giving nothing away, Tony growled in frustration.

"I don't know what else I should say to convince you guys to let me use one of your workshops. I'm not asking you to build the fucking Great Wall of China for me here – all I need is a room, a furnace, some tools and a bunch of materials. I don't know what else you expect from me. Do you want me to beg you for your help? Well, I won't. You might have the best tools around here, but you're not the only ones. Sure it would be nice to have top notch equipment at my disposal, but I can manage with less. I'm the guy who built a fucking arc reactor in a fucking cave in Afghanistan. I can do anything. Including making a fucking magic armor."

"Are you finished?" Loki asked with a hint of humor. Tony shot another look at the dwarves who looked as unimpressed as ever.

"Yeah, I think I am," Tony answered. "These guys obviously aren't interested in anything I could show them, so why bother. Do you have anywhere else we can try? There's bound to be someone else who'll let me use their fire and a hammer." In a calculated move, Tony slapped down his faceplate and turned his back on the dwarves, activating the thrusters in the suit that would let him hover several feet above the ground. He didn't take off completely, just started floating away slowly with Loki walking at his side. "Hey, what about the elves on Alfheim?" he asked him, loud enough for the dwarves to hear. "They're magic, right? Would they have the stuff we need?"

They had barely made it ten steps, when someone behind them called: "Wait!"

Tony stopped, waited three seconds, then turned slowly. "Yeah?"

The dwarves still looked annoyed, but reluctantly intrigued as well.

"That metal in your chest," the leader ground out, sounding like someone was dragging the words out of him almost against his will. "What is it?"

"That's a new element that I created," Tony explained, keeping his voice carefully even. He had the bastards now, he knew it, they had taken the bait, but it was still too soon for gloating. Interest was nice and all, but until they had a solid deal, he couldn't be sure about anything. He floated back over to them and landed, keeping his faceplate down. "Apart from being the strongest power source on Earth, it also happens to block magic. Want me to show you?"

He got a reluctant nod in response.

"Loki?" Tony asked with a grin. "Can you do the thing with the flame?"

Loki grimaced a little but nodded, filling the palm of his right hand with bright blue flames. He let them envelop his whole hand before he lifted it and pressed his fingers against the arc reactor in Tony's suit. The flames died instantly. Loki then pulled his hand back and sent out a steady stream of fire towards the suit's chest, only to have it stop an inch away from the surface and disappear.

"Okay, are you convinced now?" Tony asked the dwarves who were watching the demonstration with great interest.

"Did he really give life to a thinking metallic creature?" one of them asked Loki, completely bypassing Tony.

"Yes," Loki answered. "I saw it with my own eyes when I was staying in his house. The creatures are something between servants and house pets – they prepare meals and clean his house and when they feel like he's not paying enough attention to them, they tug on his shirt to make him speak to them. His house is controlled by an invisible guardian that lives in the walls and can do anything from allowing Stark to speak to people on the other side of the world to stealing the secrets of his enemies." He gave Tony a fond look. "Stark has no magic, and yet he has managed to create things that no magic user can hope to match."

"That is high praise, coming from you, Lie-Smith," the leader said, looking interested despite himself.

"It is nothing but the truth," Loki told him, doing a great job of looking humble and admiring. Tony would almost believe it, if he didn't know that Loki couldn't do humble to save his life. "And if you still do not trust my words, let his work speak for him. Let him show you the secrets of his craft. Maybe that will finally convince you of our honesty."

Bori didn't say anything for a moment, deliberating over his answer before he finally nodded at Tony. "Very well, we will grant you the use of one of the lesser workshops, under the condition that you come with us alone. We will not allow the Trickster to cross our doorstep."

"Sorry, no," Tony answered at once. "We're a package deal. He's coming with me."

"We do not want him in our Realm," the dwarf insisted.

"Well, that's too bad, because I need him," Tony shot back, abandoning all pretenses of politeness. "He commissioned the thing from me, but I still don't know what exactly he wants. Besides, I need his help. The thing I'm going to be making is magical and I'm still not quite on board with all the theory behind it. I've never made anything like this, so I will need him to walk me through the entire process, step by step. He can't do that from here."

A thunderous frown appeared on the king's face and for a moment Tony was almost certain that he had just blown their chance to get inside, when one of the king's companions, leaned forward, whispering something into Bori's ear. The dwarf listened, then nodded reluctantly.

"The Trickster may stay," he said finally. "You will keep an eye on him. If he commits any crime against us, breaks any of our laws, both your lives will be forfeit. What say you to that?"

Tony deliberately didn't look at Loki, because he knew exactly what Loki's face looked like right now. The demigod would hate the idea, but Tony had to admit that this was probably the best chance they would get.

"I'm willing to take my chances," Tony said, meeting the dwarf's eyes.

"Hm," the dwarf rumbled, looking a little taken aback. It was clear that he hadn't expected Tony to accept. "Very well then. We will allow this, with great reluctance. As I said, you will be granted the use of one of the workshops of our choice, along with any materials you may need. In return, we ask that you show us the secret of your magic-killing metal. You have a month to create what you came for. Do we have an agreement?"

In reality, a month was probably more time than Tony would ever need, but hell, more was better than less. After a second of hesitation, he reached down and shook the dwarf's hand.

"Yeah, I guess we have a deal. Now, where is that workshop?"


The massive metal gate opened and Tony followed the dwarves inside, trying to do his best not to gape at the sight around him. It would be easier to keep a poker face with the faceplate down, but he had opened it out of respect for the dwarves' customs and now he was having a hard time not to look impressed. The dwarves might be tiny guys, but their kingdom was anything but.

The entrance hall spanned hundreds of feet, the massive open space interrupted only by two rows of columns to support the ceiling, which was high enough to be obscured in the shadows. Lights burned all around them, not torches or lightbulbs, but some sort of artificial light that burned bright yellow without any apparent source to feed it. There were a few dwarves milling about the entrance hall when they walked in and they all shot the group curious gazes, but none of them stopped to speak to them.

The king led them through the entrance hall and down one of the side corridors, striding with purpose. His entourage was still throwing mistrustful glances at Loki, but since their anti-burglar charms or whatever they were hadn't lit up upon Loki's entrance, they seemed to be content to let him be for now. Their little party walked for what seemed like eternity, heading deeper and deeper inside the mountain. For a moment, Tony had a horrible thought that this was all a trick and the dwarves were going to imprison them after all, but since nobody had as much as touched them yet, he pushed the worry back. Even if someone tried to pull a con on them, he and Loki were more than capable of getting out of here. A bunch of dwarves with axes were no match for the joined forces of Loki's magic and Tony's armor.

After having passed dozens of doors and archways leading into forges and workshops, they finally arrived into a room that was comparatively smaller than any of the ones Tony had glimpsed on their way here. It was a bit dim and cramped with workbenches and tools, the floor about fifteen feet across in both directions. That was less than quarter of what Tony had at his disposal at home, but oh well, beggars couldn't be choosers. Maybe the dwarves would give him an upgrade once he showed him some of his stuff.

The king of the dwarves stopped in the doorway, awaiting Tony's verdict.

"Well? Is this what you requested?"

Since it looked like a negative reaction would get them both kicked out of here, Tony opted for a diplomatic answer.

"Yeah, I can work with this." When the dwarves didn't move from their place, Tony sighed. "I guess you guys want to see the magic-killing metal now? Okay, give me a sec."

He stepped into the largest free spot on the floor, which was less than six square feet, and spread his arms, giving the armor the command to disengage. He had deliberately chosen to stand facing the dwarves, so they had front-line seats to the show when the suit started shifting, opening up to let Tony step out of it. It was hilarious to watch their expressions, the way they desperately tried to look like they weren't the slightest bit impressed. Tony waited until the suit was completely off, then reached for his backpack and fished out the spare arc reactor core. There was no way he was going to give them the one from his chest (if only because he felt some sentimental attachment to it), but he no longer needed the spare core and the dwarves would have a field day with it.

"There," he said, handing over the gleaming device to the leader, "just as I promised. That's the metal that I invented. I'm not gonna need it anytime soon, so if you want to examine it, be my guest. If you have any questions about how I made it or what it does, I'll be happy to answer them."

Bori accepted the device after a second's hesitation and the other dwarves huddled around him, eager to see what the fuss was about. It was all Tony could do to stop himself from shooing them out of the room. He exchanged a look with Loki, who seemed amused by the whole thing.

The dwarves had their heads bent together, whispering furiously. It took them another while before they finally reached some sort of conclusion.

"Thank you for your offering, Anthony Stark of Midgard." Bori gave him a small nod and maybe it was Tony's imagination, but he thought the dwarf looked almost excited. "It seems that you spoke truth about your accomplishments in metalwork. You are welcome to stay here and work on your commission, as long as you keep the Trickster from committing any more mischief. If you fail to do so, we will not hesitate to retaliate against you both."

"Sure, Loki will behave," Tony promised solemnly. "He's been on his best behavior for months."

The leader gave them both one more long searching look before he nodded, satisfied.

"I trust that you have the necessary means at your disposal to make him behave, if need be," Bori continued, oblivious to the beat of amusement that passed between Tony and Loki at the words.

"Of course, sir," Tony answered, biting his lip to suppress his grin when he saw the glint in Loki's eyes, signalizing that they had both arrived at the same, completely inappropriate conclusion. The dwarf probably wouldn't appreciate hearing about all the methods Tony used to keep Loki in line.

"In that case, I will leave you to you work." Bori didn't even bother to wait for Tony's response – just gestured to his entourage and walked out, leaving Tony and Loki finally alone. Tony walked over and closed the door, meeting Loki's eyes over the room.

"Well?" He raised an eyebrow, waiting for Loki's verdict. "Looks like we made it."

"Indeed," Loki said, coming closer. "I had my doubts about our ability to convince the dwarves to cooperate with us, but now I can see they were baseless. Your ability for persuasion has prevailed once more."

"Yeah, what can I say?" Tony spread his arms. "I'm just that good. I'm no expert on dwarves, but those guys just about looked like they were pissing themselves in excitement when they marched out of here with my reactor. It should keep them entertained for a while."

Loki made a slow turn, surveying the shabby room with a disdainful expression. "This is not exactly what I had imagined."

"Better than a cave in Afghanistan, believe me," Tony told him. "It may be tiny, but give me enough time and I bet that they'll let me check out their better stuff." He threw Loki a roguish grin. "No one can resist the Stark charm once I turn it on."

"So I have observed," Loki muttered, but the look he was giving Tony was fond.

Tony stepped up to the nearest workbench to examine the available tools. He was starting to feel that familiar itch under his skin, that relentless urge to shape and create and he couldn't wait to try out all these alien things in the room. Loki stepped closer to him, leaning over his shoulder to see what had caught Tony's attention.

"What do you think?" he murmured in Tony's ear. "Will you be able to create what I asked for?"

"Only one way to find out," Tony replied, lifting a pair of pliers. "Let's get started."

To be continued…


A/N: The dwarfs in this story will all be OCs that I created specifically for this fic. There won't by many of them though, because as a reader I usually hate it when people flood their fics with tons of OCs that take the attention away from the main characters. The dwarves are necessary for this story and will serve their purpose (just like the guy on Vanaheim), but I'll be trying to keep their number to a minimum. As far as I'm aware, King Eitri is a real character from the comics, but all the others in here will be purely my creation. I hope nobody minds too much.

As always, thank you for all the wonderful comments you keep leaving me on this. Your support makes me incredibly happy and keeps me motivated to do my best with this. Thank you! :)