Chapter 29: An intruder
Snape glared as he exited Hermione's blank mind and looked down at her coldly. "I'm not sure how but it seems in our brief time apart you've learned to block me out, Potter."
Hermione looked up him from her spot in the wooden chair in the center of his office. The chair wasn't particularly comfortable to sit in but after Hermione collapsed during her first Occulumency lesson it was clear the chair was a necessity.
"You said that it was harder for people who were open with their feelings and emotions to master Occulumency right?" Hermione asked looking up at the greasy-haired Professor.
"Wizards have speculated that those who can hide their feelings are more skilled at Occulumency; the skill requires compartmentalization in a sense," Snape agreed turning from Hermione to check on the smoking cauldron in the corner of the room.
"I've had to hide a lot," Hermione mumbled, "so I guess it makes sense. This time I was hiding my thoughts," she admitted.
"Hmm." Snape wasn't paying attention to anything the young witch was saying, but Hermione was used to this in a sense. Adults never listened to important information the twins had to share; no, adults only ever listened to the things said before and after.
Hermione felt an irrational anger surge in her chest, this feeling of overwhelming anger was new this year. Sure, Hermione had always had a bit of a temper, but never had she lost it with teachers. She felt like all the bullshit from the past thirteen years was building up inside her and finally, she'd had enough. Hermione couldn't hide her feelings any longer. She was tired of teachers seeming to encourage secrets that put Harry and by extension her, in danger, but it wasn't only the teachers. Hermione found that she could no longer sit idly by and allow people to insult her whether she deserved it or not.
Hermione relied solely on her wit to keep others from being able to get too close; those sharp words allowed her to feel like, for the first time in years, she could take care of herself without falling to pieces alone in her bed. Still, it wasn't only self-preservation that caused Hermione to lash out at bullies; she also wanted to make sure that any other student who was being treated cruelly had a defender as well.
Severus Snape was one of the biggest bullies in the school, and Hermione wanted to know what made him such a cruel and unmerciful man. She could sense the pain he'd had in his life, a sort of brokenness that she was finding more common in those around her. Although, pain of any kind was never a good enough excuse to treat people poorly; good people would always fight to take away pain from others, to make the world a little better no matter how miserable they felt inside.
"Why do you hate Neville, Harry, even Remus?" Hermione blurted out unable to stop the words from escaping her mouth as the thought came into her head.
Severus froze stiffening under her gaze his head held high and his back straightening. "You shouldn't bother adults with your childish ideals."
"So it's childish to want you to stop terrorizing my friends and my brother?" Hermione stood up her eyes searching through the glittering black depths as Severus whirled around to face her.
"It may surprise you to learn this Potter, but life isn't fair your precious Father knew it, in fact, he frequently taught the lesson to those unfortunate enough to be in his warpath," Severus growled as he stalked toward her, but Hermione remained where she was looking unafraid of his wrath.
"So, because my Dad was mean to you, that gives you a reason to terrorize your students? You terrify Neville, and the other day in Defense Against the Dark Arts class you purposefully bullied him even though he wasn't in your class. Can't you get over a childish rivalry? Isn't that just pathetic sir," Hermione said looking bewildered as she looked away from him.
Snape looked like he'd swallowed something ill tasting as he stared into her eyes, the eyes of James Potter himself. "Leave. I think you've had enough lessons Potter now get out of my office," he snarled gripping the back of her robes and dragging her to the door slamming the door in her face.
Hermione started her quiet trudge back to the common room. Another adult she couldn't rely on, Hermione wasn't sure why she felt so surprised. She'd always tried to defend him in her head Snape was a professor a student should be able to rely on him.
The next morning Hermione was up bright and early for Quidditch try-outs. She walked down to the field with Fay Dunbar and Ginny Weasley her broom over her shoulder as she slid her gloves on.
Angelina Johnson and Alicia Spinnet cheered excitedly the moment they saw Hermione. The Chasers were excited to see their teammate. At the sound, Oliver Wood looked over his eyes hardening at the sight of Hermione a grimace distorting his usually handsome face. Wood walked over his arms crossing over his chest as he looked down at the girl.
"You sure you're ready for this Potter?" Oliver asked.
"I'm sure Oliver." Hermione moved to mount her broom.
"Hermione, you're not guaranteed a spot I hope you know that," Oliver looked away from her, "after last year I don't know if I can trust you not to just leave us in the middle of the season."
"I hope you pick whoever is right for the team," Hermione said quietly.
Wood moved to stand in the middle of the Gryffindors clearing his throat, "Right, so, Fay you'll be guarding the chasers against the Bludgers Fred and George will send at them," Oliver smiled at the excited look on the girl's face.
"Hermione, you'll have first turn with Alicia and Angelina. Chasers you'll be trying to make a goal against me you'll have ten minutes," Oliver moved onto his broom shooting up into the air. "Ginny you'll be after Hermione, then you Katie. Good luck to all of you."
Hermione moved into formation behind Alicia and Angelina dodging a bludger Fay missed, she threw the ball to Angelina as she ducked under the other chasers, flying ahead catching the Quaffle Angelina threw at her barely managing to dodge Harry as he played defense. Hermione neared the hoops that Wood was guarding, and once she was in range she threw the Quaffle with perfect aim at the center goal, but Oliver was too fast as he blocked the Quaffle with his hands and chucking it to the other side of the field.
The time was going quickly and Hermione was getting flustered as she shot across the field, she had made six attempts and hadn't even made a single point. The time was running out and Hermione desperately feined to the center goal before lobbing the ball at the hoop on the left. Hermione almost held her breath as the Quaffle got closer and closer to its goal, but right before it could go in Oliver moved into the Quaffle's path kicking it back.
That shot was Hermione's last chance, and she just couldn't pull it back together before her time was up. Hermione felt her stomach sink as she hit the ground. Quietly she went to sit in the stands watching Ginny fall in with Alicia and Angelina.
Ginny's style of playing the game was unlike anything Hermione had ever seen before. She managed to fit right in with Angelina and Katie; Ginny was able to follow the plays and movements of the other two chasers with ease. The way Ginny was playing was aggressive and dominating she owned the pitch flying without fear.
Hermione couldn't look away from the redheaded Chaser. Ginny was running out of time, and like Hermione, her shots were stopped by Oliver at every turn. Hermione moved to the edge of her seat watching Ginny circle the hoops, while Oliver followed her so he could block her next shot. Ginny abruptly stopped in the air making Oliver fly past her and leaving the left hoop open. Ginny took her chance throwing the Quaffle through the hoop and scoring the first goal of the try-out just as her time ran out. The moment Ginny landed Hermione almost tackled the younger girl.
"You did amazing!"
"Yeah, but that spot is yours for sure Mione," Ginny said.
After Katie's try-out she landed with Oliver whose eyes were bright at the prospect of the new team. "Starting today our new Chaser is Ginny Weasley," Wood said landing on the ground beside the team. "Hermione Potter and Fay Dunbar will be on our reserve team." Hermione's eyes filled with tears of disappointment, she had a bitter taste in her mouth as she went to leave unable to stomach the pitying looks.
"Hermione," Ginny called after her, "Mione wait," Ginny ran up taking her hand. "I'll refuse the spot," Ginny said making Hermione turn to look at her.
"Ginevra Weasley, you have worked far too hard to be part of the team to quit now. I'm proud of you Ginny, you'll be an amazing addition to the team. I'm just disappointed and sad for myself, but it's not anyone's fault Ginny. Right now though I need to be alone," Hermione said grabbing her bag.
"Hermione," Harry yelled running to catch up with Hermione.
"Harry," Ginny grabbed his arm, "let her go," she said softly.
"She needs me," Harry argued.
"I know, but Hermione doesn't realize how much she needs other people, which is why she goes off alone and forcing your presence on her isn't going to help things," Ginny said looking at the boy who lived.
Harry blinked at the redheaded girl who just a year ago couldn't even manage to say more than two words to him. "When did you get so smart Gin?" Harry sighed watching Hermione's retreating figure.
"Hermione's right you aren't very observant are you?" Ginny teased, "I've always been smart Potter, but I'm glad it's only taken you a year to figure that out." Ginny mock punched Harry's shoulder making Harry laugh.
"She'll be okay won't she?" Harry asked quietly.
"I hope so," Ginny mumbled.
Hermione wasn't sure where she was going but she kept walking until she got to the Black Lake. The ground was damp and muddy, and the overcast skies made everything dark and grey. Hermione sat down on the muddy ground immediately lying back to stare at the grey skies. Hermione let the tears trek down as she stared up at the sky trying to understand what had happened. She was there for about ten minutes her mind going a million miles per hour.
"Are you okay?" a boy asked softly.
Hermione felt like her heart jumped out of her chest at the sound of another human, the boy was a fifth-year Hufflepuff. Hermione recognized him from the Great Hall and she'd seen him around the corridors.
"I'm fine thanks," Hermione said moving to discreetly wipe her eyes.
"No offense, but you don't look fine, mind if I sit down? I'm Cedric by the way, Cedric Diggory."
"Hermione Potter," Hermione said softly. "I would appreciate it if you'd leave, I don't like people seeing me cry."
"Well, I'll look this way so I don't see anything," Cedric said moving to stare out at the lake. "So, Wood went with another Chaser?" Cedric asked quietly Hermione felt the familiar sting of tears in her eyes at the reminder.
"Yeah, but Ginny's good ya know," Hermione said her voice breaking slightly. Cedric looked over at her unable to stop the smile. Hermione saw the look he gave her, "You said you were going to look at the lake and not at me," she huffed.
"Couldn't help it," Cedric blushed quickly looking back at the lake, "You know it's his loss, you're an amazing Chaser I've never seen such a synchronized team before, I want my chasers to have that too."
"You're the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain," Hermione gasped looking at him feeling like she'd been struck by lightning as the realization hit her.
"I'm the Hufflepuff seeker too," Cedric smiled, "I've been dreading facing Gryffindor, with your brother as their seeker and you with the chasers I didn't think we had a chance. Now we at least have some hope of winning if I can just beat your brother which is easier said then done, he's amazing on a broom."
"I know," Hermione sighed, "he scares the hell out of me with all the risks he takes, I'm terrified he's going to fall off his broom."
"That must be a Gryffindor thing because Charlie Weasley used to do the same thing. He'd race to catch the snitch no matter the risk to himself," Cedric shook his head.
"It's a stupid Gryffindor thing," Hermione grumbled.
"Yeah says the girl who threw herself in front of a bludger to save her brother," Cedric's lip quirked up and Hermione looked at him frowning.
"You were at the game?"
"Yep. You know it's really not fair that you get to look at me, but I can't look at you."
"Fine, you can look," Hermione grumbled pulling her knees up to her chest wrapping her arms around them.
"Thank you," Cedric laughed looking over at her, "So, Potter, what brings you to the lake?"
"I needed to get away from the team and everyone I know," Hermione mumbled.
"Well Wood is obviously bonkers, but I'll make sure to thank him when Hufflepuff wins this year."
"You're awfully cocky that you're going to win considering Gryffindor flattened Hufflepuff last year." Hermione's eyebrow rose as she looked over at him.
"I have to be, I handpicked the team so we wouldn't get crushed," Cedric said with a shrug lying back in the mud.
"So are you going to cry when you lose?" Hermione smirked lying back beside him.
"If I do cry you aren't allowed to look," Cedric teased.
"That'll be easy since I'll be celebrating with the other Gryffindors."
"You mean to tell me that you'd ignore someone you just met ten minutes ago? How rude Potter, I can't believe how inconsiderate you are," Cedric laughed. Hermione rolled her eyes and stared up at the sky there was a comfortable pause.
"What made you decide to come talk to a stranger Diggory?"
"It's not like I've never seen you before Potter," Cedric said shaking his head as he looked over at Hermione.
"Oh, yeah, like you ever noticed me," Hermione said with a laugh.
"I did notice you," Cedric said propping up on his elbow to look down at her. "Every time I saw you last year you just looked worse and worse. Almost like you were always on the verge of tears, and you had these dark circles around your eyes like you weren't sleeping."
"What are you a stalker?" Hermione didn't look at him.
"No, I didn't follow you around, but, it was like at least once a day I'd see you, Merlin, Potter, you looked awful," Cedric flopped back onto his back, "I couldn't believe that no one else seemed to notice, they just seemed determined to let you isolate yourself; I wanted to talk to you then, but I could never find the right words to say I mean we'd never spoken to each other it would've been weird if I started speaking to you without any warning."
"It's fairly weird now Diggory," Hermione said looking over at him.
"I guess you're right, but when I see you now, you look so much better than you did last year," Cedric sighed turning to meet her eyes.
"You're such a charmer you know that?"
"Shut up. What I'm trying to say is that I realized I couldn't just stand there and let you go back to being alone I couldn't watch you push everyone away for no reason."
"It isn't your place to check up on me Diggory you don't even know me." Hermione huffed.
"I know Potter, but everyone needs a friend that they can't push away."
"And you're going to be that person for me?" Hermione asked scrunching her nose, "I don't know Diggory, a friend who isn't a Gryffindor? Now that just sounds fake."
Cedric laughed "Alright, how about just an acquaintance first?"
"Mmm, as long as there are no emotional ties I'm in. I'm tired of being continuously disappointed by people who call themselves my friend."
"Mi?" Fred called.
"C'mon love," George called as well and Hermione sighed sitting up at the sound of their voices.
"I've got to go," she said rubbing her face.
"You know you have mud in your hair?" Cedric smirked.
"Yeah? So do you so at least I won't be alone," Hermione said grinning as she stood up. "I'm over here," she called to the twins before looking back down at Cedric. "Thank you."
"Anytime, now hurry up and go before they come over here and see the mud in my hair, I do after all have a reputation to uphold Potter."
"Yeah, the reputation of a stalker." Hermione laughed running up to meet the twins.
"There you are," Fred took in the mud and grinned, "did you slip and fall?"
"I was just lying down," Hermione said sticking her tongue out at him. "Can I meet you boys in the common room I'm going to go take a shower."
After her shower, Hermione walked back to the castle her stomach growling angrily. She hadn't eaten at breakfast because of her nerves before try-outs and it was well after lunch now. Checking the time Hermione decided that she could do with a snack and went down to the kitchen.
Everything was hustling and bustling there were House Elves everywhere working hard to get everything ready for that night.
"Excuse me?" Hermione asked blinking as the elves inside stared at her. "I was wondering if I could have a grilled cheese sandwich please?"
Then one particular house elf pushed past the others and Hermione looked down with a start realizing who was in front of her. "Hermione Potter," Dobby breathed taking her hand in his own and snapping his fingers a small table and chair appearing. "Sit please."
"Thank you so much Dobby," Hermione smiled kindly making him beam with pride. He had an assortment of crazy socks and seemed rather happy to be there.
"Here you go Miss," said an elder elf with a small but warm smile.
"Would you like something to drink miss?" asked another.
"Oh uhm, can I have some lemonade please?"
Within seconds the elves brought her fizzy soda pop and she smiled, "Thank you all so much," she said making the elves smile happy to be helping.
Hermione took a bite out of her grilled cheese and looked around before her eyes settled on Dobby.
"Dobby?" Hermione bit her lip as the other elves went to work. "It is better working here, isn't it?" she asked her voice gentle but worry obvious in her eyes.
"Oh yes ma'am," Dobby said happily. "Dobby likes it here very much, everyone is joyful and," he leaned forward whispering conspiratorially, "no more beatings."
Hermione smiled and took Dobby's hand in her own gently, "I'm glad to hear that you're okay, I was worried about you," she said softly.
"You," Dobby's eyes watered, "You are an exceptionally kind and good witch Hermione Potter," he smiled. "Thank you." With that Dobby went back to work and Hermione ate her sandwich and finished her drink before bringing the dishes to the sink.
"We've got it," said the same elf that brought her the drink.
"Are you sure I don't mind," Hermione offered.
"Lolly can do it, Miss," the elf smiled.
"Please call me Hermione."
"Then you call me Lolly," the elf smiled kindly.
"Thank you, Lolly," Hermione said before moving back to the exit.
"Come back again Hermione Potter," Dobby smiled.
"I will Dobby, promise," Hermione said waving.
With Halloween came the excitement of the first visit to Hogsmeade. Hermione was happy for everyone but she didn't want to be cooped up in the castle any more than Harry did.
Classes were basically the same, potions was unbearable because Snape had been in a particularly foul mood; the tale of the boggart having reached his ears exceptionally fast. Care of Magical Creatures had also become exceptionally dull. After their first lesson, Hagrid lost his nerve and decided the class should take care of Flobberworms, which were creatures that didn't do anything, and preferred to be left alone.
The morning of Halloween dawned and Hermione watched with Harry as everyone left. While Harry went to go talk to Remus, Hermione went to find Ginny Weasley.
"I'm sorry you can't go," Ginny sighed lying on her stomach her chin in her hands. "It's alright, I'm having lunch with Harry and Remus, so at least there's something good coming out of today."
"That'll be nice," Ginny sighed.
"Would you like to come eat with us Gin?"
"No, I see enough of your brother as it is with Quidditch," Ginny shrugged and Hermione almost choked.
"Did Ginny Weasley the girl who wanted to marry the boy who lived just say she'd seen enough of my brother?" Hermione sat up and poked Ginny's cheek. "You okay Gin? Some boy didn't slip you a love potion did he?"
"Shut up," Ginny laughed rolling her eyes, "You two are just so boringly normal that I just think of you both as regular students now."
"Ouch Ginny way to hurt my ego," Hermione gasped playfully, "Well I guess it's best you stay away from Remus then I'm afraid he's just a big dork who likes fraying sweaters, books, and chocolate."
"I'll see you tonight?" Ginny smiled.
"Count on it," Hermione said running out of the common room to find Remus' study.
"Hermione," Remus smiled opening the door the smell of rich beef stew wafting out of his living space.
"Did you make us lunch Remus?" Hermione smiled walking inside.
"No, your brother and I were talking this morning, and I'm afraid I lost track of time, the food is from a couple of the Hogwarts House Elves, they were all too happy to help after I mentioned your name," Remus smiled.
"Obviously I am the most important person in this school," Hermione snorted, "Who did it though?"
"I believe the names were Dobby and Lolly?" Remus asked.
"Oh well that makes sense, those two are my friends," Hermione moved into his study past the hidden door and into his rooms.
"Remus Snape is trying to poison you," Harry said as he walked back in making Remus laugh as he filled Harry's plate.
"As much as I suspect he'd like to poison me Dumbledore simply won't allow it," Remus chuckled.
"But the potion he gave you was smoking," Harry frowned.
"Ah yes, Wolfsbane potion, it's a dreadful thing horribly expensive and complicated to make, but I'm afraid it's the only thing that allows me to stay sane during the full moon."
Harry looked relieved that Remus' potion wasn't poison, "I just need you to stay safe," Harry mumbled quietly, and after that, the talk went on to nicer subjects.
The students got back from Hogsmeade just before the feast, the Gryffindors all gathered in the common room excitedly talking about everything they'd seen. Hermione and Harry were loaded down with gifts from Ron, the twins, and Neville, while Fay Dunbar had actually gotten Hermione a gift as well. They'd spared no expense getting the twins candy, and a few assorted things like stink pellets.
Despite missing out on Hogsmeade Harry and Hermione's spirits were lifted by the splendor of the Halloween feast. The food was wonderful and even Ron, who'd been stuffed full of candy at Hogsmeade, managed a second helping. The House ghosts provided entertainment as well. In fact, Gryffindors own Nearly Headless Nick performed a reenactment of his own botched beheading.
The Gryffindors filed out of the Great Hall and up the staircases to Gryffindor tower when suddenly everything stopped. No one was moving, and no one could see what was going on ahead of them.
"What do you suppose has happened?" Harry looked at Ron and Hermione.
"Don't know, probably Neville's forgotten the password again," Ron mumbled.
"Hey!" Neville huffed from behind them causing Ron to look back apologetically.
"Sorry mate," Ron said his ears going red.
"Let me through please," came Percy's rather haughty voice as he pushed through the crowd accidentally shoving Ron into Hermione who gasped.
"Ouch Ron that's my foot!" Hermione pushed Ron away from her.
Percy didn't even look back, "What's the holdup, you can't have all forgotten the password Percy huffed. There was a long silence while everyone tried to get through to see what was happening. "Somebody get Professor Dumbledore. Quick!" Percy said urgently.
A moment late Dumbledore was sweeping towards the portrait while the Gryffindors squeezed together. Hermione caught a glimpse of the slashed portrait and gasped," oh my," she breathed, the Fat lady was missing.
"We need to find her," he mumbled looking to McGonagall, Snape and Lupin her were rushing up to the scene.
"Good luck," Peeves cackled.
"What do you mean?" Dumbledore asked calmly causing Peeves to sober up a bit. The Poltergeist wouldn't dare insult the headmaster.
"She's ashamed sir," he said his voice slick as oil. "Saw her running through the trees of a landscape on the fourth floor crying something dreadful."
"Did she say who did this?" Dumbledore frowned.
"Oh yes Professorhead," Peeves smirked and looked very much like he was carrying a secret that would destroy the world. "He got very angry when she wouldn't let him in mind you," Peeves chuckled flipping over and grinning at Dumbledore from between his legs, "Nasty temper that Sirius Black's got," cackled Peeves. The result was instantaneous people started hurrying to get away from the dormitory while Hermione grabbed Harry immediately staying slightly in front of him.
"Calm down," Dumbledore's voice roared over the crowd causing the students to stop. "For tonight you'll all sleep in the Great Hall while the professors sweep the school for Black. You all have ten minutes to change and get ready for bed."
The Gryffindor's followed McGonagall to the Great Hall quietly after the ten minutes were up. They were surprised when Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and finally Slytherin soon joined them. Moments later Dumbledore walked in and pushed back the tables before pausing a moment, "Ah, you'll need these," he chuckled conjuring squashy purple sleeping bags one for every student.
"C'mon," Ron sighed moving three sleeping bags to the corner of the room.
"Get in your sleeping bags, lights out," Percy called and Hermione sighed.
"Hey Potter, did you cause trouble again?" Cedric shook his head at her from across the room.
"Wouldn't you like to know Diggory." Hermione grinned at him the easy conversation had developed into a timid friendship between the two of them.
"No talking," Percy huffed.
Hermione fell into an uneasy sleep, while Ron could barely keep his eyes open, but Harry lay awake between them unable to sleep. Around three in the morning, Dumbledore walked in looking for Percy who was close to Harry. Quickly Harry pretended to be asleep so that he could listen.
"Any sign of him sir?" Percy asked.
"None, I didn't expect him to linger though, for tonight everyone will be fine in here, and tomorrow we'll move them back to their dorms. I've also found a replacement guardian for the Gryffindor portrait hole, and Filch has agreed to restore the fat lady tomorrow," Dumbledore said softly looking up when the door opened and Snape walked in.
"Everything searched? The Owlery, Sybill's room?"
"All clear," Snape said looking around the room. "Professor I was wondering if you'd given any more thought to what we had discussed, about how Black managed to get in."
"All of the teachers have my full confidence, Severus." Dumbledore smiled and began to walk away from Percy who wisely decided it was best not to follow. "If you'll excuse me I must go down to the dementors."
"Didn't they want to help?" Severus asked.
"Oh yes, but while I am headmaster a Dementor will never cross the threshold of this school," Dumbledore smiled kindly and walked away. Harry frowned and looked at Hermione and Ron who were both sound asleep; though, Hermione was tossing and turning a bit more than what was deemed necessary for a peaceful slumber. Closing his eyes Harry drifted into – well a not so nice night of sleep.
Remus walked into the headmaster's office looking irritable. "Professor Dumbledore, sir, let me take them home."
"What do you mean Remus?" Dumbledore looked up from his spot at his desk where he'd been talking to Minerva before Remus had burst in.
"Harry and Hermione will be safer off campus at night, Sirius knows they're here Professor, and we can floo back before breakfast and leave after dinner," Remus sat in the unoccupied seat. "They can't go to Hogsmeade anyway, and I can keep them safe," Remus looked down at his hands.
"There is nowhere safer than Hogwarts Remus, as I know you're aware." Dumbledore's voice didn't raise he sounded just as gentle and calm as always.
"Obviously," Remus snorted, "I mean it's not like a mass murderer broke into the castle tonight or anything, I mean, they weren't killed so they are safer here right?"
"Remus," Minerva frowned.
"When have we ever protected them the way we needed to," Remus continued talking unable to sit any longer as he paced the study. "Their first year they were attacked by a teacher, last year my kids were stuck with a giant, fucking, snake, this summer that vile Uncle that you sent them to live with broke Hermione's arm. My kids are always in danger and it seems to me that Hogwarts hasn't kept them safe, and their Aunt and Uncle haven't kept them safe so what do you expect me to do? Sit by a wait for Sirius to be successful next time? I can't do that because I can't lose them. I won't lose them, not like I lost Lily and James. Not like I've lost everything for you," Remus looked at Dumbledore his chest heaving.
"Remus, sit down," Albus said an edge to his voice as he stared down the younger man.
"I won't, you made me go and infiltrate the wolf pack. You made me leave James and Lily's sides after the twins were born and I lost everything because of that," Remus looked more like a caged wild animal than Minerva had ever seen. His hands were fluttering and clenching, his eyes were wild anxious watching everything.
"You volunteered," Dumbledore, reminded him his voice steely, "We were in dark times Remus and you volunteered your services, you were after all one of Fenir's children."
"Don't ever say that again," Remus snarled, "Never call me his child again, that monster – he did this to me when I was four-years-old. I can't even remember being normal at this point. I don't remember not being afraid, dreading the moon because I knew I'd turn into a monster. Do you have any idea how painful that is, to lose myself and to be transformed against my will every month, being punished for something I was completely innocent of?" Remus's shoulders were heaving as his words were coming faster now than he could breathe.
"You told me if I did it I'd turn the tide in the war, that'd there'd be no more like me. You told me that no more children would have to grow up without parents and that I could be happy. You knew just how to tempt me too, didn't you?" Remus accused. "You told me I'd be regarded as a hero, that no one would judge me for being what I am, you made it seem like you could offer me everything I'd ever wanted. I was a child. We all were children and that didn't stop you did it? It's certainly not stopping you now. I was gone and I should've been with them, I should've been guarding Lily and James, Harry and Hermione should have parents but instead, I'm all they've got." Remus slumped into the chair he felt exhausted at the weight of his own words. Discreetly wiping at his eyes he looked up once again at Dumbledore.
"Remus," Minerva said softly putting her hand on the man's shoulder frowning as Remus flinched away almost.
"You're putting the only family I have left in danger by keeping them here," Remus said dully, he felt like everything he'd just expressed had left him without any emotions left to feel. "You keep them with horrible people who don't want them, and you keep them here where everything is trying its best to take them from me and it isn't fair. You've taken so much, and that's all you do Albus, you take and take, and we just keep letting you because you're one of the greatest wizards of all time," Remus breathed, "but even you can be wrong and if you keep them here, if you don't allow me to bring them home where I can keep them safe we'll have more funerals to attend because Black will kill them," Remus mumbled.
"Remus," Albus said softer this time, "Being around the twins seems to have made it hard for you, they look so much like your dead friends and it is causing you no end of grief, perhaps you should separate from them."
"They aren't James and Lily," Remus snapped at the older man. "I'm very aware of who they are, but tell me Professor are you?"
"Remus you're going too far," Minerva said softly. "Albus always has a plan, and the twins have been fine so far." Minerva looked at Albus her lips pursed, "And you will not separate those children from a man who loves them with all of his heart, and is willing to take on his own-."
"Did you even hear me, Minnie?" Remus interrupted, "Hermione's arm was broken this summer, and she didn't even feel like she could tell me. I accidentally hurt her because she didn't say anything. Harry has had to defeat Voldemort twice and has seen his twin sister beaten in all manner of ways. Hermione was under not only the Imperius curse but the Cruciatous curse as well and was attacked by a memory that should've been repelled by Lily's locket. They are in constant danger and the fact that they can even function like somewhat normal teenagers is beyond me. Because the amount of trauma they've been subjected to is indescribable. They don't even realize they can rely on other people, and they're pulling away from each other. The only person I've seen come close to penetrating their inner circle is Ron Weasley, the others are kept at a distance."
"We will not be moving the twins," Albus said determinedly. "They are safest here and at their Aunt and Uncle's home. I don't expect you to understand Remus you're so upset I doubt your mind could process my explanation right now, but this is not up for debate now it'd be best if you go to sleep now."
"This isn't over Albus, those kids need love and support they need to be protected from the things you're pitting them up against involuntarily or not. I won't sit around and let the decisions you make cause harm to them because you think it's for their good," Remus stood up turning to walk out of the study.
So new chapter I really tried to edit the heck out of this, but I'm just really bad at it. I'm happy though in general so let me know what you guys think! Thanks.
