Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the MG/MGS Franchise!

Author's Note: Happy belated everything all my fellow readers! I hope all of your holidays were special! Mine, on the other hand, were just the worst. Appendicitis snuck up on me and I had to be admitted into the hospital. And here I am like "Ummm doc, I'm a super healthy twenty-three y/o lady...how dafuq did I get this?" *shrugs* So these past couple of weeks, I've been recovering from my surgery...which went fine (yay I'm alive!). I missed updating! Thank you to everyone for your patience! Here is the next chapter! Be prepared, this one has a LOT of backstory for a certain character! :D

MATURE CONTENT WARNING: Mentions of violence, Sexual content.


"On a stormy sea of moving emotion,

Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean.

I set a course for the winds of fortune, but

I hear the voices say:

Carry on my wayward son,

For there'll be peace when you are done.

Lay your weary head to rest,

Now don't you cry no more."

-Kansas


December 22, 1973: 08:00

Lydia opened her eyes to a dark room, it must've been cloudy outside. Lydia sat up from her bed and stretched her arms toward the roof, letting out a long yawn. While she had been gone in Peru, Kaz had invested in some full-size and twin beds for Lydia and the other men to sleep on to sleep on…much better than the small piece of crap she had been sleeping on for nearly a year. Lydia pushed the thin sheets off of her body. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, letting her half-naked form greet the naturally cool air. After standing up, she walked to her small dresser and got dressed into a black long-sleeve shirt with olive-colored cargo pants. After putting on some black combat boots, she grabbed a hairband that was littered on the floor and slid it onto her wrist. Her long hair fell almost to her elbows; the perfect length.

Lydia walked to her door and opened it, greeted with different weather. The sky was loaded with gray and black clouds; a storm was blowing in from the ocean. The waves were tall and violent in the distance…a surfer's paradise if they weren't worried about their life. Her blonde hair whipped around at nature's cold greeting. Lydia grabbed a hold of her hair and brushed it with her fingers to fall over her right shoulder. She split her hair into three pieces and began to braid the locks, keeping an eye out on the ocean. She could see lightning approaching in the distance. Bright yellow and white flashes…this wasn't going to be a fun storm. Not one bit.

"Good morning Sub-C!" Orca, one of the soldiers that had been on the mission, greeted. It looked like he was just finishing up with a morning jog. "It looks like you slept in!"

"Yeah, looks like it. Because it's so gloomy out here, jeez." She tied off the end of the braid with the band and stepped away from her cabin.

"I've never seen you with a braid in your hair ma'am. It looks nice!" He complimented, blushing, before he ran off.

"Thanks?" She scrunched up her face, too late to give a response to his nervous sentiment. Lydia took one step forward down the wooden steps with her left leg. Upon planting it on the bottom step, it gave out underneath her. "Whoa!" Her left knee buckled underneath the weight. Sand granules met Lydia's face as she plummeted right into the sand; her arms spread out in complete failure. She groaned, lifting her head up and turning it so her left cheek was resting on the rough sand. She puffed out air from her mouth and frowned when she saw Snake in the distance, almost about to crack up laughing. I already know what kind of day it's gonna be. Lydia dragged her arms to a position where she was able to lift herself up off the ground and stand on her two feet.

Lydia lifted her hands up to her face and dusted off any sand from her skin. She patted off her shoulders next, followed by her torso, arms, and finally her legs. "That was quite the fall." Snake grumbled. "It looks like you need to work on your reflexes." Lydia's eye twitched in aggravation.

"My reflexes are just fine, thank you." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I just slipped, that's all."

"You need to pay attention to that left leg." Snake started. Here it is…here comes the lecture. There was no way he didn't notice it giving out from under her weight. "I think you should lay off the cardio and only do it twice a week. I feel like strength training in your legs to build up muscle would be beneficial so you don't have your leg give out on you in an inopportune moment."

"Yessir." Lydia sighed. "I'll go ahead and adjust my schedule to make changes."

"Good. But that isn't what I came by to tell you." Lydia raised her eyebrow in anticipation.

"What's up, Boss?"

"I'm giving MSF the rest of the month off. We've been doing great lately and I worked out the funds with Kaz. From our numbers, it looks like everyone can afford a small vacation. We'll kick back up at the start of the year."

"Oh, that's very generous of you." Lydia smiled and placed a hand on her hip. "Thank you, Boss."

"Hmph, don't mention it." He reached up his right hand and patted her on the shoulder twice, something he hadn't done in a while. "Don't get into too much trouble, kid." Snake nodded and began to retrace his steps back to his own bungalow. No matter how old I get, I'm always gonna stay that sixteen year-old kid he threw around. Lydia sighed to herself and brought her hands back up to her braid.

She untied the end of it and brushed her hair out of the style, then proceeded to shake it out in an attempt to get all the sand out of it. No doubt she would be needing to take a shower. She combed her fingers through her hair one more time and braided her hair a second time, letting the tail fall over her right shoulder. Lydia kept her eyes on the angry horizon, the storm only getting closer.

To the left, she heard footsteps in the shifting sand. She turned her head to see Raven, coming back from a jog as well. "'Mornin' Sub-C." He greeted, stopping at her left side. "That's quite the storm we have coming our way." Lydia's features fell as she returned her eyes to the barrage of lightning in the distance. The lightning travelled violently in the sky and could faintly hear the booming of thunder. From the looks of it, it wasn't gonna go easy on the base, that's for sure.

"Hey, why don't you tell the guys to start storm-proofing the place? Set up tarps and stuff?"

"Yes ma'am. We'll get on it right away."

"Expect a big storm coming in in the next few hours. The wind is already starting to pick up." With a nod, Raven jogged off to one of the larger cabins to stir up the rest of the crew. Lydia waltzed a few paces toward the stirring ocean. She stood on the shoreline, the warm water caressing her feet through her boots. Uneasiness crept inside her heart. The darkness in the distance engulfed any light that had the even slightest chance of breaking through. She inhaled through her nose and shut her eyes from reality.

Following the exhale was the roaring of a plane engine soaring above her. The rumbling echoed through her ears as it zoomed above her head. The gust whiplashed around her body as the plane flew farther away. Another inhale. It felt like the ocean was pulling her in toward the storm there was already no escape from. She opened her green eyes with the next exhale, her vision still on the somber horizon.

At the faint boom of thunder, something sloshed in the rising water. Lydia's eyes followed the noise as she caught the familiar rolled-up pants of Kazuhira Miller. Her green eyes travelled up the side of his body and caught the side of his face…he was taking in the greatness of the approaching storm. "Something on your mind?" Kaz opened up. Lydia reverted her gaze back to the menacing atmosphere.

"Nah, just not a big fan of rain is all."

"Afraid of a little water?" She could tell Kaz cracked a smile at the slight hypocrisy he sensed. No doubt this storm was going to haunt her, she was already trying her best to suppress the memories that were slowly resurfacing themselves. She wanted to kick them back down, but it was growing inevitable. Lydia's raised her right hand and caressed the side of her neck, the scars from the past tingling under her touch.

Kaz snaked his way into her vision, positioning himself in front of her, to cut off her view of the storm. "You look half-dead." His tone was serious. "All the color is gone from your skin, not very suitable look for a pretty woman like you." Lydia couldn't help but form a half-smile when she spotted the haze of his bright blue eyes under his aviators. "Now that's a smile I could get used to." A hint of pink flushed back to Lydia's cheeks as she kept her eyes on him. Kaz knew something was wrong, there was no way she would look at him this long without saying something offensive to his ego.

"You know what?" Kaz clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms while he conjured up an idea to pitch. "We should go into the city. I'm sure the boss wouldn't mind. And we just got a jeep in, I could drive you myself." Was Kaz trying to take her mind off of what was barreling toward them? If so, it was working for the time being…and she needed a break.

Lydia shrugged and snagged her bottom lip with her teeth. She sucked in air and scrunched up her face. "Or we can just stay here? I'm done driving around for a while."

"You sure? There is a sushi place that opened up in town?" There it was. The tug of temptation. "I'll treat you to a dinner and some sake, how 'bout it?"

"That…" Lydia started, watching Kaz's face light up at the word. "Sounds like a fantastic idea, Kaz. I haven't had sushi since I'd lived in the States."

"Alright." Kaz crossed his arms. "Well, I'll go get the jeep ready and you come strolling by when you're all set to go." He nodded in victory.

"You got it." Lydia chuckled out, turning away from Kaz. She walked back to her bungalow and opened the door. Once shut, she slid off her boots and half-wet pants, tossing them into some corner of the room. She retrieved a new pair of green pants and slid them on, ignoring the dull pain in her left leg. After lacing up some black combat boots she made her way over to Kaz, whom had just pulled up to the loading dock with the new jeep. It was logo-less and in pretty good shape, no doubt a good amount of GMP went to its purchase.

Lydia opened the passenger door and crawled in, buckling herself tightly into the leather-like seat. "I'm ready." Lydia held a thumbs up to Kaz, who returned the gesture. The ride into the city was boring and the sky was growing more ominous by the minute. By the time they made it out to the restaurant, the streets were nearly empty.

"Alright, we're here." Kaz smiled, parking the jeep. "You know, I haven't had sushi in a while either. Guess I'll be one hell of a critic."

"Maybe if you complain enough, they'll give us free food." Lydia chuckled, sliding out of the vehicle.

"Maybe, just maybe." Kaz guided Lydia to the door and opened it for her. The inside of the joint was very casual; a sit-down place with a bar in the back where the chefs prepared the food.

"Hello!" An Asian male with dark brown hair greeted, walking from the back. He had on a white apron, obviously carrying the status of one of the chefs as well. Kaz spoke but Lydia couldn't understand a word that fell from his mouth. The eyes of the chef immediately lit up the moment Kaz started talking. Lydia tucked in her lips to her mouth the more they talked and laughed. It wasn't too long after their conversation carried on when the man walked them to a table.

As Kaz and Lydia took their seats he let out a throaty chuckle. "The first two rounds of sake are on the house." Kaz crossed his arms over his chest in victory.

"How about that." Lydia complimented.

"It's been so long since I've conversed in Japanese. I've got to come here more often." Kaz smiled at her.

"Ha, that's good." Lydia tapped her fingers against the wooden table. A strong gust of wind whistled through the door, causing Lydia's eyes to float to the entrance. Lydia felt more uneasy as time passed in the small restaurant. There was no denying that the food was good, she thought she would be sick of fish by now, especially when MSF ate it so often...but this glorious meal proved otherwise.

She kept her alcohol intake light, knowing she would be more venerable. She and Kaz both stuck to the two rounds of warm sake. Nearing the end of the meal, Lydia caught Kaz's attention. "Hey, I'm gonna run to the restroom real quick."

"Don't worry, I won't leave ya." Kaz grinned, taking a sip of water from a glass. Lydia stood up from her chair and walked into the women's designated restroom. The tile was a boring gray color; the stalls were a stark white. There was a small rectangular screened window that let in some rain from outside. Lydia walked into one of the stalls only to be greeted with a massive headache.

"Nnngh." She groaned, her hands instantly forming around her cranium. The rush of pain was so bad, bile made its way into her mouth. With a cough, Lydia spilled her guts into one of the toilets. Instantly flushing, she wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Ahhh shit, there goes my food. Another pulse of pain radiated through her mind. "Ahhh fuck." She sat on the cold tile, cradling her head in her hands. A bright flash covered her eyes, almost blinding her. Lydia ducked her head down and tightly shut her eyes. She was only greeted by the scarring face of Volgen.

Her eyes shot open, daring not to shut her eyes again. "No, no, no. Get a hold of yourself. He's not here. He's not here." She tried to console herself as a loud boom of thunder crashed through her eardrums. She could hear the base of the monster's voice creep up in the back of her mind. Trying everything to break free from his prison.

Behind her, she heard the squeaking of the door followed by heavy footsteps. Lydia froze in her place, holding in any kind of breath that wanted to escape her lungs. The steps halted behind her; the demonic presence standing tall in its dormant place. Lydia's bottom lip trembled as she had the courage to close her eyes. The stench of burning flesh starting to radiate off her skin.

"Wakey, wakey."

Lydia didn't want to open her eyes. He would be there if she did. His form standing before her chained body. Her body started to jerk around, shoulders shaking. There was someone calling out to her…it was faint…but someone was calling her name. His voice was familiar…was it Ocelot?

A stinging sensation on her left cheek is what caused Lydia to shoot her eyes open. Her gaze met light blue, a color she had often missed. "Hey, hey. You're ok." Kaz. He was instantly talking in a calm, composed manner. His hands wrapped firmly on her shoulders. Where was she? Lydia was surrounded by different scenery, they were in some kind of motel room. She was sitting on the edge of a comfortable bed. "You passed out…" Kaz trailed off, backing away from her. "You really meant it when you said you weren't a fan of rain, huh?"

"S-sorry." Lydia hugged herself. Kaz sat in the vacant spot next to her.

"There's no need." Kaz waved his hand. "You were having one hell of a nightmare, sorry I slapped you. Nothing would wake you up." Lydia touched her left cheek with her left hand.

"Thanks, I didn't want to be stuck in that nightmare. Not again." She dropped her hand to her side.

"Again?" Kaz asked softly. He had turned his body and sat cross-legged on the bed.

"Y-yeah." She gulped and licked her dry lips.

"Lydia." Kaz extended his right hand and firmly planted it on her knee. Lydia craned her head to look at Kaz in his unshielded eyes. She hadn't noticed, but he was in a plain white short-sleeve shirt. His hair was ruffled around from being out in the rain. He was flustered…that's for sure.

"Kaz…" Lydia dropped her arms and rested her hands on her thighs. "You meant it when you said I could confide in you…right?"

"I always mean what I say." That was debatable. Lydia extended her legs and stood up from the bed. She turned her body around and walked to the side of the bed Kaz wasn't occupying. Lydia took a seat adjacent to him on the queen-size bed and rested her back on the headboard.

"We go through things that are meant to test us. There are lessons that we hold onto only for a short time while some stick around for the rest of your life." She didn't look at Kaz, only at the plain, boring wall in front of them. Lydia inhaled deeply and shut her eyes. Her head lolled to her left to look at Kaz's crossed legs. "I've thought for a while…and you told me once that it's good to get a hold of and accept things that have happened in the past and move on. And then I question myself…how the hell do I move on from something that I'm reminded of every day?" Lydia returned her head to middle-ground, staring at the wall again. She rubbed her right cheek with her left hand briefly before letting it fall to her lap. Kaz moved from his spot and changed his position to the foot-board of the bed. He still sat cross-legged but his eyes were searching her.

What was he looking for? Answers? "Start with your triggers." Kaz spoke up. "I'm no therapist, but I am a pretty good outlet. You just gotta plug yourself in." Lydia's eyes softened at the innuendo. "Oh, no, Lydia. Not in that way." Kaz slapped his own forehead in embarrassment, something she thought she would never see from him!

"I get it." Lydia softly smiled with her lips. "I guess…"

"Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"The beginning?" Lydia questioned, making sure she heard him correctly.

"Yeah, we'll take turns." Kaz smiled sweetly. "You tell me your past, and I'll tell you mine. Fair trade? This way you can get things off your chest with a reward at the end. And a bonus is that you're not talking to a stone wall."

"A reward?" Lydia wanted to laugh. "Alright, Kaz. If you're in for one crazy story, then I guess you're on."

"Talking about things always make me feel better. Not to mention, I'm pretty sure with me around…it'll make you feel better too."

"Well…I'm warning you…it might get uncomfortable for me." Lydia looked away from him.

"Just tell me what you can, you're in charge here." Kaz crossed his arms over his chest.

"A-alright." Lydia nodded. "So, I guess my childhood didn't start out too well. Like you, I grew up a fatherless child. When I came home from school one day, I smelt something like…burnt fish." Lydia shut her eyes at the memory. "I walked into my restroom and saw my mother lying in a bathtub with the toaster plugged in. Her eyes had been dried out and her skin was searing under the water. She had electrical burns all over her…it was an awful sight. After the state recovered me, that's when I was in and out of foster care…which I already told you about. As a kid, I always loved puzzles and solving things and I guess that followed me all the way to the CIA. I guess when I was little, it was a good escape from the harsh reality I was in. After my excelling in school, I was accepted into MIT and then was offered a job under David Oh for his FOX unit. I was only sixteen."

"Sixteen? And in the US CIA?" Kaz nodded. "Even I think that's a little too young to join any type of security…but there are kids now a days participating in wars even younger than that."

"I hear ya. And I think back…what would have happened if I said 'no' to the Major?" Lydia solemnly contemplated. "I wouldn't be here if I did…and this is the happiest time of my life." Lydia smiled, feeling tears want to work their way up to the ducts. She kept them at bay. "When the Major thought I was ready, he sent me on my first solo mission when I was eighteen. It was an assassination mission for this guy named…uhh…I forget his name after all this time, but he was garbage, apparently. Anyway, on the way there, our plane was greeted by some lightning storm that seemingly formed out of nothing. Our plane crashed and the pilot and I were stranded out in USSR enemy territory. The pilot didn't live till morning and I was pretty messed up myself." Lydia reached down to her left pant leg and started to roll up the sleeve.

Her eyes looked at Kaz to see him following her hands up her left leg. His breathing was steady like he wasn't nervous at all. Lydia folded up her pant leg and twisted her leg enough so Kaz could see the giant, gruesome scar on her left thigh. That and the bullet-hole entry around the area. She pointed to the jagged, odd-shaped scars from the codec. "This one right here, my radio broke up into pieces and lodged itself into my leg." She traced her finger to the bullet wound. "This one is from later, but I got it in the USSR too. It was from a guy that wanted revenge on me. He was a bad shot, that's for sure."

Lydia's eyes shut at the sound of thunder interrupting her reflection. She held her lips shut and a stinging sensation radiated from her right cheek. She could feel his imprint on her stomach when his gigantic fist collided against her body. Lydia's eyes opened back up when she felt Kaz's hand wrap itself around her ankle. "Anyway…I was captured and tortured…but I got myself into that situation. I was hiding in a hollowed-out tree and thought I could opt out with a venomous snake that was crawling on me. It only helped in my capture. When I awoke…Volgen…" The name left a bitter taste in her mouth. She could taste the metallic liquid at the mention of him…the smell of her searing flesh. "He was the one who tortured me. He was some kind of…inhuman."

Lydia grazed her hand along her right cheek and traced her thumb against the scar running along her cheek-bone. "That's where I got this and much worse. He poured water on me and electrocuted me until I passed out…all for information that I would never give him." Lydia shut her eyes tight and clenched her fists. "You know what happens when electricity collides with water?" Lydia scoffed at the question. "I was all too familiar with the subject…and when the smell of my own burning flesh his my nostrils, I knew I was done-for."

"But you weren't. There was a reason why you lived." Kaz added. Lydia opened her eyes; Kaz had crawled closer to her. This time, he was sitting adjacent to her hip, still facing her. "You escaped somehow, and that's what led you here to this exact moment."

"He left me beaten and scarred." Lydia lifted up her right hand and placed it on the right crevice of her neck where her electrical scarring started behind her ear. "I had escaped and found my way into the hands of Major Ocelot…let me tell you…he was a piece of work." Lydia threw her arm back down. "He showed be the slightest act of kindness and ended up being my only ally. When I escaped, he kept me hidden in his quarters. I would be lying if I said I didn't fall in love with him." Lydia sighed. "He kept me safe, he nursed me back to health and was the reason I was able to get back home."

"If I was locked in the same room with someone for months, I would develop feelings for that person, too." Kaz agreed. "It's only natural to cling to someone for survival. In your case, I suppose it was this…Major?"

"Yeah. I recently asked Snake what had happened to him. He's still alive, but I've come to realize it wasn't meant to be. He was some kind of…double agent. His connection to my boss at the time was how I was able to make it back home."

"And then you were deported?"

"When I came back, the nation, CIA, and the President were pissed and thought I was some kind of soviet sympathizer because I had been 'compromised'. But hey…moving away from the States was the best thing that has happened."

"Wow, you've had quite the life so far, Lydia." Kaz smiled to himself. "Through the good and bad, you've survived somehow. I guess that's what it's all about."

"Yeah." Lydia smiled to herself.

"And guess what?"

"What?" Lydia raised an eyebrow and looked at Kaz, who was pointing to the ceiling.

"The rain's let up a little bit and I noticed the thunder is all gone." Lydia extended her hand and rested it on Kazuhira's knee.

"Thank you…Kaz." Lydia felt lighter somehow. A weight had risen off of her…all she needed was some type of distraction. Some type of reflection in a healthy way. She hadn't realized the rain had stopped, the thunder and lightning were long-gone. The one thing left before her was Kaz. Kazuhira Miller. The half-Japanese man who went out of his way to make her feel comfortable in the worst situation.

"Any time, Lydia." Her name fell from his lips so easy, like he had been practicing it. The kind look in his blue eyes mixed with her relaxed greens. His hand found its way on top of hers. He held it and brought it up to his lips, lightly brushing them against her knuckles. Lydia's face felt hot at the motion when Kaz guided her hand back down to the bed. "If you ever feel those memories getting the best of you, think back to this moment." He squeezed her hand tighter. "I was here for you. I am here for you, Lydia Matthews."

The oddest part about this moment was that Kazuhira was serious. The look in his eyes and the demeanor of his body showed he cared ten-fold. "Now I know." Lydia smiled.

"And maybe one day you can uhhh…" He stopped mid sentence, this time probably thinking before he spoke. "Never mind." He dodged. Lydia wanted to bust a gut, he wanted to say something inappropriate, but was scared of ruining the mood. Lydia removed her hand from his grasp and rolled her pant leg back down to her ankle.

"What about you, Kaz? Tell me more about yourself." Lydia urged on. "I want to learn more about you."

"You actually want to?" Kaz raised an eyebrow and slightly narrowed his handsome eyes.

"Uhhh…yes?" She tried to sound as straight-forward as possible without feeling embarrassed. "And you told me yourself you would! I'm just following through, that's all."

"Ahhh, well what is there to know about Kazuhira Miller, huh?" He crossed his arms, the cogs in his head turning, thinking about where to possibly start. "Well, my mom, living in Tokyo at the time, had lost her family and home in a raid from the United States back in March of 1945. She had no other choice but to move to Yokosuka and live with her cousin. Raids kept coming, razing other major cities throughout Japan without mercy. You see…the majority of houses in Japan then were made out of wood. So you can only imagine the destruction." Kaz frowned. "Then the atomic bombs were dropped in August…and not long after Japan had finally surrendered to the US. After that, Yokosuka was flooded with American soldiers come to occupy the country. My mother, bless her heart, was still in her mid-teens, and she learned from her cousin how to survive in that town - by servicing the troops."

Lydia folded her legs together and watched Kaz carefully as he spoke of his past. His eyes were theatrical, a mix of emotions flowing through them like a roaring river. His mother had a rough life, no body deserved to go through what she had. "Is that how she met your father?" Lydia added when he paused.

"And if you put two and two together, that's how I was born." Kaz smiled, probably thinking of early memories of his mother. "You see, my father was an officer serving with the Government Section of Allied GHQ, under General Whitney. My father road his coattails to a pretty high rank."

"Impressive." Lydia admitted. "It's all about who you know."

"I'm pretty sure you can relate." Kaz nodded. "You were admitted to MSF because you personally knew Snake. What were the chances of you joining if you had no idea who he was?"

"I don't know, I hadn't thought of that."

"Well, while my dad was stationed in Japan he treated my mom like a wife. When he went back to the States, though, she never heard from him. I wasn't born until after he went back. My mom raised me as a single mother. She used the money my father left her to open that shop I told you about that sold cigarettes and stuff to occupation troops."

"Oh right, your first job." Lydia acknowledged.

"It was a decent living to start out. But I didn't have citizenship. I think they're working to change the law now, but back then, if your father was unknown you couldn't get onto the Japanese family register. And well…in Japan, that means you can't be Japanese. So as I watched the American soldiers around town, I said to myself over and over: 'I'm a son of America, the victor'. I told myself I'd leave this country someday and return to my true homeland." Kaz sighed and his features fell. "When I was around ten years old, my mom fell ill…pretty much leaving me to run the shop in her place. Then, one day, I found a single picture of my father in the back of a drawer in the shop. I had studied it for days and I'd show it to the American soldiers who came into the store. A few years went by before one of them recognized him and told me who he was. He told me his name was Miller. After that I started asking other customers if they knew where Miller was.

"I had figured out he had left the service and was making a living as an instructor for soldiers in Virginia. It was one of his students that had finally told me that. I had the guts to write him a letter in what English I knew. I wanted to do everything to see him, to finally meet the man behind the curtain. I sent of the letter and waited for what had seemed like a life-time. Then just when I was about to give up, the post office delivered my future to the door." Kaz smiled and looked down at his hands. "Because of that, I learned that patience is everything. If I had given up, who knows if that letter was still going to be delivered? Giving up hope had never been in my nature. Hell, I thought my dream was gonna come true.

"But I was only thinking of myself. My dad had sent me travel money and I had to convince my bedridden mother to let me go. My dad arranged a jet-black car to pick me up. When the neighborhood kids who'd always made fun of my hair saw it their jaws practically hit the ground. With the left over-money I had saved, I put my mom in a hospital and went to America.

"When I met my father for the first time, he was living along in a big house. He had told me he'd lost his son…his American son…in Vietnam. I should've expected that he would have a family, but then he showed me a picture of my older brother. Now that I think of it, I guess that his divorce left my father feeling lonely and that's why he finally too an interest in me. He'd retired from teaching. He was stooped over, could hardly walk. Nothing like I imagined he would be. But while I was there he gave me two things: the name Miller and money for school.

"I stayed in the US for a while and used the money to learn English then go to college. Right after I graduated, I went back to Japan. Alone. When I offered, my father had refused to see my mom. It was the first time I'd seen her in years, and she wouldn't even…look at me." Kaz's face looked confused. "That look in her eye…at first I thought she was mad at me…but that wasn't it. A disease she had contracted had taken over. She…she didn't even know who I was." Kaz tapped his fingers against his knee. Lydia studied him, he was emotionally distraught. His mom had meant everything to him back then, the way he talked about her. He wished she was still around…what would she think of him now? No doubt she would be proud. He was a good man, and a tough one at that.

"I tried, I introduced myself back to her. I said 'Mom, it's me, Kazuhira'. And as I spoke, the sound of my own voice rang in my ears. Kazuhira." He looked into Lydia's eyes. "That was the name my mom gave me. It mean's 'peace' in Japanese. I was Japanese, I was the son of this tiny Japanese woman that had been there for me all along. It was in that moment, for the first time, that I understood the reason - the emotion- that inspired my mother to give me that name. She had watched everything and everyone she loved go up in flames. Her body and mind were ravaged by war…and yet she chose to have a child named 'peace'. Even with a man who was once her enemy."

He looked like he was about to cry. Lydia could see the gloss over his eyes form with every blink. "Do you keep her with you?" Lydia asked, catching Kaz off guard.

"What?"

"Do you keep her with you?"

"Like a photo?"

"If you have one, I would like to see her." A smile formed on Kaz's face that she had never seen before. Blush had risen to his cheeks to give him a light pink shade.

"I have one back at base. When we return, I'll introduce you."

"That would be nice." Lydia smiled in response. "So what happened after you got back? From what we pulled on you, you were in the JSDF for a little while, right?"

"Yeah, I was twenty-two at the time I started. Japan was on the verge of becoming on the most powerful economic countries out there. I did it to pay our bills…but it wasn't just that. I could have found work anywhere. And I knew it. And still, I couldn't think of anything else to do with myself. Then my mom had passed two years later. After her death, I left the JSDF and went back to the States to discover my dad had already been dead and buried. I was told he'd shot himself in the head."

"Something else we have in common. My father served in Germany. A few months after I was born, he had shot himself, too."

"America crushed both our fathers. And after I found that out, my American Dream was pretty much over. That's what led me to drift around and well…that's when I met you and Snake. I was spawned by war. But I don't want to die in one. I won't die for a country, and I won't live like a pauper. I won't have my fate decided by some family register. If I stick with you and Boss, I've got a good feeling none of that will happen." Lydia brought her knees to her chest and hugged them.

"And I have a feeling you'll be sticking around for a long time." Lydia's featured softened as she rested her right cheek on her knee to look at Kaz. She saw the blush rising to Kaz's cheeks again as he scratched his scalp. Watching him put her at ease. Lydia's eyes fluttered closed, not even realizing she was tired.

"Now if you sleep like that, you're gonna have one hell of a back-ache." Kaz rubbed Lydia's back to straighten her up out of her curled position. "There you go. Now why don't you get comfortable?" Kaz offered. "We're not going anywhere anytime soon. Might as well use this room for what it was made for." Kaz flushed his back against the mattress and sprawled out. Lydia leaped out of the mattress in a rush, while Kaz laughed. He propped himself up on his elbows and looked at her figure.

"What?!"

"I think you have a dirtier mind than me." Kaz winked. "You're safe with me Lydia, you don't have to worry about a thing. Why don't you take a shower first?" Kaz motioned toward the hotel room's bathroom.

"Nah…why don't you go first, I insist?" Kaz crunched his upper body and swung himself out of the bed.

"If you insist." Kaz surrendered. "I'll be out in a bit." He held up a peace sign before emerging himself into the restroom. Lydia sighed at his disappearance and looked around the dull hotel room. She unbuttoned her pants and slid them off, the colder air making her skin crawl. She pulled off her shirt next and dropped it to the ground. Turning toward the bed, Lydia pulled back the comforter and thin sheet and decided to crawl in. The covers returned to a position that was resting above her neck. Lydia was facing away from the restroom, her eyes drifting closed to the sound of the running water from the barricaded room.

After getting all that off her chest, she felt a lot better. She didn't even feel comfortable telling Snake what had happened to her. Kaz had a rough childhood from the start, another thing that they had in common. He was growing on her more than before, but what was this feeling? She felt a mix of uneasiness and joy. Lydia shut her eyes in contemplation as the knot in her stomach twisted tighter.

Kaz had accepted her with open arms. He didn't care where she came from or what her past was. He didn't run away this time. Opening up to him right then, that's all she needed for the final push. She could finally take a hold of her past and accept it. The scars she carried just weren't ones from pain and suffering, but from triumph. She had survived the cold, murderous intent of a madman and the heart-wrenching nature of Ocelot. The next time she would look at herself in the mirror, she would be proud of the scars because they reflected her strength in a time where she thought she had none.

Kaz's POV

After washing his hair and body, Kaz turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. He moved his boxer-briefs over his hips to cover himself before walking back out. The room was dark and Lydia was unmoving in the bed. Kaz pulled back the covers on the side of the bed Lydia wasn't resting on. "Lydia?" He whispered out to her. She was sleeping, her body hidden under the thick covers. Kaz smiled to himself as he crawled into bed himself.

The moment his body hit the mattress, curiosity struck him. He turned to face her back, which was the part exposed to him. He gently lifted up the comforter and pulled them down to reveal her bare skin, only covered by the fabric of her black bra. Her left side was clear. As his eyes guided along her body, he saw the start of some type of scarring. Kaz lifted up his hand and touched her back, where the scar disrupted her body. He glided his fingers along the odd pattern that stretched across her right side; all the way up to her neck.

Even with the light pink scarring, her skin was soft and beautiful. These must have been what was left behind from the torture she had suffered. Kaz frowned as he traced his fingers back down her spine, which caused Lydia to let out a light snore. "Oh?" He whispered to himself. "You like that, huh?" Avoiding her bra strap, Kaz gently rubbed her back which sent her into a deeper slumber. A smile worked back to his face…how was he so content? He'd been wanting to break down her walls, although he had been successful, she had shattered his as well. She wasn't just some warm body anymore.

The way she was looking at him earlier. These past few months even. It was a look he had never seen on a woman before. He said it a lot, but could it be that Lydia had really fallen for him? What made him want to touch her? His hand grazed along her bra strap, trying everything in his power to not unhook it. She was something alright. They had a lot more in common than he thought…and more than that. She understood where he came from and accepted his past. He was comfortable speaking with her about it…he hadn't done so in a long time.

Kaz retracted his hand and flushed his back to the mattress when he noticed he had been turned on by her sleeping figure. She was a beautiful woman. Kaz shut his eyes and slid his right hand down his abdomen to relieve his erect member. "Shit." He whispered as he took it's base into a firm grip. "Why do you always do this to me?"