This idea was concieved when I was doing something important, and my 2 had left the remote alone and was off somewhere doing something. Not wanting to do whatever my chore whas (I forgot) to sport highlights, I found the TLC channel to see if anything good was on. They had a marathon of this show, and although it's horrible and bad and whatever I find it entertaining because it makes me glad my mom is a crazy hockey mom, not crazy paegent mom.
(Also, I'd like to note my mom and I bonded over this showing, and now whenever one of us does something redneck we start talkin' like Honey Boo Boo and mention Darlene.)
"I really wanted Isabella to win."
"I know, right?"
"That mother makes me sick. Just give the kid a bucket of mud and a shovel and let her do what she does best- be a kid!"
"Is this really what I missed while I was frozen?"
"You missed much worse. I hear tomorrow they're having a marathon for Jersey Shore. If you think this is bad, I suggest you see a few of those episodes. Italy hates America too. I'm going to the kitchen to grab a beer. Do you want one?"
"No thanks. Why is that pony purple?"
"The mother paid money to dye the pony for her kid." This chatter was annoying me. Tony had put me on supervison duty for my husband, who had found a tv marathon to watch. Instead of it being something awesome, or bearable, he wanted to watch a reality show that focuses on the cruel life of being a beauty pageant child. Naturally, he called it a learning experience and got Steve to join him. Thor would have too, but he was busy helping train new recruits. Fury had him to the physical training with a helper so that everyone knew what to do, and to keep Thor from ruining everything.
I had planted a camera in the living room before I left, because I didn't want to stick around to watch this vile representation of humanity at it's worst. After installing the camera, I left for the Batcave for a few hours, or at least until the marathon was done. When I got there, I turned on the baby monitor to get a peek at what he was doing. Clint was sitting in his nest, holding a beer in his hand. Steve was sitting on the couch looking disgusted.
"I think that this might just be a publicity stunt. Why else would someone let the judging be filmed?"
"Steve, this is reality tv."
"You do have a point there." There was a silence. I realized that my Batman shirt needed to be washed, so the next time it was my turn to do the laundry I'd have to sneak it in.
"Clint, what are you doing?" I heard Steve say, worried. I pressed the button that showed me the scene. Clint was sitting in his nest now, with a pink feather boa and a tiara.
"I'm pretty fabulous for a male archer who isn't at all as adorable as these little tykes. Did I tell you about the time Nat called me Hot Guy instead of Hawkeye?" I groaned and put my hand to my face.
Eventually the marathon came to an end, the final episodes having to do with someone named 'Honey Boo Boo', which made me ask myself if this was a reality show about little kids and their parents in pageants, or a contest between parents to see who can think of a better stripper name for their child. Stashing my shirt in my purse and putting all my action figures back into their box, I got ready to go home. Clint and Steve were just finishing up the last episode.
"I'm back!" I said, dramatically.
"Ssssh, not now. It's time for the crowning of the Grand Supreme."
