Hello, how have you been? This is Zetsubou author Shuji Nonohana. Why Zetsubou? Because I haven't been up to date. Already I'm late for my Three-Year Anniversary.
"Well, don't take it so hard on yourself. Junior year, ACTs, final grade stress… You've had a lot of real world interrupt your stories."
Doesn't change the fact that I made two other stories in the meantime…
"Writer's block then? You see, since Shuji became more serious, all those bits in the beginning of the fic are actually trying to make sense. Everything that may have been played for laughs is now semi-serious, and if this is a departure from the fanfiction you originally enjoyed reading…"
Then I apologize. However, I'd hate to leave a story running this long just dead, so I'm continuing ever stronger with this adventure story!... Though I planned the amnesia to bring Hayate and Maria closer, it will!
"We need to go in there!" Wataru yelled. "We need to explain that this whole thing could be solved if he just-"
"No!" Maria retorted. "If we tell him anything, he'll just blame himself!"
"And you intend to keep it from him?" Konoha was serious. "He needs to know. He cannot succeed if he's kept in the dark."
"Yeah, and you haven't informed yet because?" Wataru argued with her.
"… It wasn't time yet. He wasn't ready."
Tower of Despair, Final Part Chapter 29: Master's Orders.
Kotetsu and Himuro stood across from the blind Welshman Patrick. "Hah, think you two can take a hardened old man like me? I can take anything you youngsters got!"
"Himuro-san, let's wrap this up quickly so that I can go see Ayasaki-kun."
"Hah! You sure talk big!" Patrick insulted. "Let me tell you, this new recruit we got…" He shuddered. "I'm surprised she isn't a rank 13! We're ranked by how our powers are ranked, and hers ranks up there with the deadliest, rank 13! She's rank nine because every other position was taken, and the actual number 13 is scary in his own right!"
"Wait a second. What are you talking about?" Himuro asked.
"You didn't know? Nine is up there along with One and Thirteen right now to take care of that Ayasaki boy!"
"Himuro-san!"
"Yes Kotetsu-kun, I know, the situation looks dire for him."
Meanwhile, on Kaede's battle…
Both Kaede and the Chinese Member 3 were on the floor.
"Ahaha… It appears you and I think the same, butler man."
"Correct… You literally multiplied your power and put them into copies… then you, urg, drew it toward the real you and amplified it."
"You shot a blaze of scorching hot flame my way… so much… I could not avoid."
"And your amplified power was too large for me to avoid."
Kaede couldn't move at all, but neither could the boy.
"Young man, you are indeed a worthy opponent. Tell me, what is your name?"
"Desheng. Desheng is my name. But… I have one question… how did you find my amongst my copies?"
"Simple. I merely attacted… the moment you drew your energy to you…"
"Same as commiting suicide."
Kaede mustered up all his strength, and got up to walk to Hayate's position. "I should be able to take care of one of them…"
Desheng looked up, surprised. "How are you-"
Kaede looked back at him with parted eyes and a smile. "Why, a butler of my caliber would never pass out from something like this. 'Slightly incapacitated'. That's all." He walked toward the staircase leading up to the top of the tower. "I gave my word I'd help… no turning back now."
Kotetsu and Himuro were still dealing with Patrick. The had landed a storm of attacks on Patrick already, but he hadn't taken any damage.
"Kotetsu-kun, are you sure you're hitting him properly?"
"You should talk! Nothing we do seems to work on him! And to top it off, he's twice the size he originally was!" Imagine it as being about twelve feet tall and correctly proportioned.
"I am level 2! My body has hardened beyond normal human limitations. The degree of impenetrability varies depending on person and training regimen, and I was the best out of all candidates! Nothing can get by this body of mine." Patrick gloated.
"But if you notice," Himuro pointed out, "There is a large gap in between his legs, given his new size." Its true, there was. "About large enough to pass through to the upper floor."
"No! You are not allowed!" Patrick closed the gap. "You cannot leave without knocking me down first!"
Himuro looked at Kotetsu, and afterward wrapped his rose whip around Patrick's neck. He pulled.
Kotetsu shrugged his shoulders and gave Patrick a gold punch to the calf, and he fell easily.
"What?"
Kotetsu looked at him with pity in his eyes. "Everybody knows that a stance generally fails if one's legs don't part slightly and bend at the knee; to some varying degree."
Himuro added, "You pull upper body back, sweep the leg, and your opponent falls like a stone." He chuckled a bit. "Of course, I didn't expect Kotetsu-kun to catch on. I'm actually starting to respect you."
"Hey! I'm a butler too you know!"
"Oh really? I hadn't noticed."
Before they could continue, Patrick got back up and brushed himself off. "So that's it? You're going to make me fall down? I feel no pain, I take no damage!"
Despite his being right, Kotetsu and Himuro continued to attack him. A golden kick, a shower of razor petals that violate copyright, among many others, but to no avail. Patrick countered with a large punch that swept them both up and slammed them into a wall. They fell to the ground.
Kotetsu turned his head to Himuro. "What do you think we should do?"
Himuro whispered, "Follow my lead." He got up and walked to Patrick, laughing, "Is this all that Wales could muster? How pathetic."
A vein popped on Patrick's head. "What in Hell did you just say?"
"I mean, opponents before you had a much easier time harming us. But your power relies solely on defense." Patrick got madder with every word that Himuro spoke.
Kotetsu caught on to Himuro's plan. "Y-Yeah, how lame is that! I mean, you can't be the best Wales has. The best would have to be that Welsh wizard from another series. And his potential doesn't even make any sense! Grown adults who have more experience and three times as many years of training weaker than him? I don't care who your father is, using lineage as an excuse for making a ten year old that much more powerful shouldn't happen like that! Having villains that powerful might justify it, but aren't there others who are better suited to fighting guys like that? Other than just the illogically powerful Great Hero's son? It's like that Hunter manga!"
Himuro sighed. "You peppered a bit too much reference. Fans of those series will berate us now."
"I mean, the fifteen year old girls I actually like more. Provided they are more at an age where life-or-death situations in a shonen manga apply better, and having the weight of the world makes more sense when you're at the height of your youth and there are that many of you to fight any threat using magic! Even so, arbitrarily letting them master their newfound abilities with just a few months or under a year still makes me wary, but with them, the artifacts were forced upon them by a kiss, so they can activate them at will! At least that makes more sense then the main lead!"
"Yeah, what makes that kid so special?"
"I know right? And his formerly invincible friend couldn't even live to the end? He was his near equal, and he could have been even more powerful too!"
"Having that kid be the hero doesn't excuse the death of a man who was built up to be all but completely undefeatable!"
Himuro watched as their conversation wore on, but then he saw the opportunity he needed; Patrick was merely six foot again. With a swift wave of his hand, the rose whip wrapped itself tightly around Patrick's neck. With another swift wave, Patrick's neck was slit, and he fell over.
Kotetsu said, "Aw, why'd you have to kill him? Couldn't you just knock him out so we could catch up later? We were openly bashing a concept!"
"And I enjoy doing that half as much as money." And he likes money a lot. (Understatement). "If he were still here when we left, he might try to block our passage out."
"Oh yeah. I almost forgot to ask how you killed him."
"Simple. I tried goading him into lowering his guard by insulting his country. He would try to attack us with a stronger type of technique, probably bide, and considering his guard form took up a lot of his power to use, using bide to attack would lower his guard, even if a little. Fortunately, your mutual anger toward a single concept had him lower his guard completely. Thank you for being one of the most distracting characters we know."
Kotetsu wanted to be mad, but he was still just happy he helped take down Patrick. "….. Even so, those facts don't change the fact that I still read it."
"… Hm. Now then, Hayate-kun needs us, Kotetsu."
With that, Kotetsu dashed up the stairs shouting out, "HAYATE-KUUUUUN! I'll be there for you my love! I'll always be there!"
Putting aside this stalker-ish scene, back with Hayate…
"Guh… all the energy is being sucked from my body…"
"Well, that's because I struck with my parasite." Sherry explained. Sherry Thomas was a red-headed blue-eyed American.
"Parasite? I know it's stupid to ask, but what's happening… to me…" He fell to the floor. "Urg…"
"Meh? You haven't noticed the mosquito on your arm?"
Hayate looked at his forearm. A small mosquito was there! "So this thing…"
"Correct. That thing is currently sucking out your energy. All of it, be it spirit and physical energy! In about ten minutes, you'll be completely drained!"
"N-Not if I can help it!" Hayate mustered up all of his power. He tried to shoot spirit energy from his hand. "Energy Hose!" Nothing but a small flare of power came out, and it didn't even make it across the room. "Eh? Bolding special moves didn't work this time!"
Sherry shrugged and sighed. "Didn't you hear me? Your energy is being drained. Trying to force your power out won't do anything but kill you faster, you stupid butler!"
"But still… I can-!" Hayate ran up to Sherry. "It goes against my morals to hit a girl, but I have to!" He slammed his fist into her stomach with all of his might. It did nothing. "Huh…?"
"Boy, you really don't listen, do you? I said both spirit and physical energies are drained. Of course…" She shone a bright blue aura. "… anytime I want, I can use the energy that my mosquito has absorbed!"
"… Hasn't that… Idea been used before…?"
"To deliver deadly poisons!"
Hayate wasn't about to give up. "I'll have to kill this insect then!" He tried swatting at the bug, but it wouldn't die. "What's with this?"
"My mosquito cannot be destroyed. It'll just keep sucking at you, and getting bigger, and feed me more of your power!" Sherry held her hand out. She put her middle finger and and thumb together. "And the more I take, the stronger I become!" She flicked his nose. A large shockwave was generated, and Hayate was sent straight back into a wall.
"Ow…" He held his nose. Blood poured out from it all over his uniform. "What a bother… I don't think I'll make it out of this one…"
In an instant, he found Sherry standing in front of him. "Cut the chatter! Fight!" She punched his stomach, and blood came from his mouth.
"Gack!" He was slammed to the wall again, and Sherry started stomping his face. "Gh….!"
"Ha! How do you like being curb-stomped, crappy butler? I wouldn't imagine a guy who takes orders for a living has ever seen a rea street fight!"
"… all the time…" Hayate couldn't even deliver any of the witty comebacks I had prepared for him. She just kept stomping and stomping, and his face was beaten to a pulp. 'Is this it?'
Hayate was on the verge of dying, what with his energy being drained, and his face getting stomped, when…
"Didn't think you could handle this."
A sinister voice came from deep within Hayate. His lips were moving, but the words weren't his. 'Huh? It's you again…'
"I don't wanna have to keep dragging your ass outta this shit."
"Huh?" Sherry thought Hayate sounded crazy all of a sudden. "Who the Hell are you talking to?"
"Oh well. If I have to kill, I may as well enjoy it." In a large white flash of energy, Hayate's hair went from blue to black, his eyes from blue to red, and his uniform from black to white. "Ah… being released feels so good…"
"Wh-What the Hell happened to you?" Sherry felt an eerie energy coming from this new Hayate. There was something completely off about him his voice, and his power. "This is…"
"This body is complete shit. You've been letting it die out. Oh well, it's not like energy drain has any effect on me."
"What'd you say?" Sherry kicked down toward his face, but Hayate caught it and twisted her leg. She fell face first on the ground. "Ouch… What in-"
Hayate could only laugh. "Ahahahahahaha! Oh, I'm going to enjoy this…"
So yeah. Six months later and still, my story fell short. The other butler battles were so anti-climatic, but I wanted to focus more on Hayate's battle this time around.
"I think you should end here."
Yeah…
"Anyways, Happy late three year Anniversary! It's been three whole years since you started writing fanfiction!"
Oh. Well thank you very much. I hope I keep getting better, because frankly, I still think I suck.
"Stop it already…"
Sayonara!
