A/N: I had a wonderful holiday! I hope the same can be said for all of you lovely people. I didn't get to update during my wee vacation, but I wrote this chapter in bits and pieces while I was traveling. Hope it was worth the wait!
Sookie POV
Pam and I were halfway through the mall when her phone rang. It was Eric; he had wrapped up business at the club, and would meet us wherever we were. When Pam told him that we were still shopping, he told us to wait there until he arrived.
We were slightly confused by that: we had a set of code phrases that we used to indicate various problems that we wouldn't want to talk about over an unsecured cell phone line. He hadn't used any of them. Given that, we had no real reason to think anything was wrong. Perhaps he just wanted to make sure we didn't inadvertently lead him on some random goose chase.
While going through various shops, I had found a few things that I liked, but nothing that I thought I'd really wear. Pam was having more fun bitching about clothes than actually selecting clothes to try on or purchase. It almost seemed to be therapeutic for her.
I'd lost track of time, but it wasn't too much longer before Eric showed up. His hair was tangled and tousled: he'd flown, not driven. He didn't look upset, and I didn't feel any concern or panic through the bond.
"What's up, Eric?"
He shrugged. "Didn't feel like driving. Too much traffic out there tonight."
I raised an eyebrow. When he wasn't in a real hurry to get anywhere, Eric viewed traffic as a challenge; other cars in the road were obstacles to be dodged, like it was a game of sorts. He enjoyed weaving between semi-trucks and SUVs like I enjoyed dancing in Fangtasia.
Pam elbowed me and whispered loud enough for Eric to hear, "He's lying, but let's pretend like we believe him."
He shot her a look that might have scared anyone else, but we knew him far too well. There was just enough hint of a grin to show that he was amused. Something was kind of odd about him tonight, but he would tell us when he told us. We trusted him to keep us safe: sometimes that meant leaving us uninformed. If it was important and he wanted us to know about it, I imagined it wouldn't happen in so public a place.
Hanging out in a mall as a vampire was a strange thing. There weren't any good malls in Bon Temps, but in the past few years before I'd turned, Tara and I would take occasional trips out the malls in Monroe and Shreveport. We would walk in the climate-controlled halls, browsing, window shopping, and every now and then we'd actually buy something. It was a neat thing to do for a few hours. Afterward, we'd find a brass-and-ferns type restaurant and have lunch or dinner before driving back to our little town.
As a vampire, it was far less enjoyable. I was glad I didn't need to breathe; the smells were overwhelming. Almost all of the clothing stores had jewelry sections, and most of those reeked of silver. I learned that silver was one of the components in white gold; even that stuff smelled bad to me. The places that didn't have that sickly-sweet and sour scent were all filled with dry, recycled air. I could hear way too many conversations going on around me. The only plus side was that my mental shields were better than they had ever been when I was human; I was able to completely block out the thoughts of the people around me. I only wished I could do the same for their voices.
I did miss the idea of sitting down in a restaurant and sharing a meal with a friend. Sure, I could still "share a meal" with Pam or Eric, but that was a wholly different type of situation. Other than Gran's cooking, I didn't miss any particular foods, but I missed the experience of it all. There was a kind of friendly intimacy to it.
Pam wrapped up whatever it was she was doing; she and Eric were chatting while I just sort of tagged along, lost in my own thoughts.
As we were leaving the mall, headed towards Pam's minivan, Eric said, "Sookie, several boxes arrived at the club for you. I imagine they are the clothes that you ordered, unless you've been doing some other online shopping that I'm unaware of."
"Oh, thanks. I haven't ordered anything else, so those must be my new wardrobe," I said.
Pam chuckled. "Don't sound too excited, Sookie. We don't want you to hurt yourself over there."
I laughed. "No, it's just that I haven't figured out how I want to organize all of that stuff just yet."
"It's probably easiest to sort it out at Fangtasia, and any time we go to one of the houses where you don't have clothing, bring a box of it with you."
That wasn't really what I'd meant, but I went along with it. "Yeah, that makes sense. We could even get started tonight."
Pam wrinkled her nose. "Ugh. We're supposed to be off work tonight; I'm not setting foot in that place unless there's an orgasm involved. Which is a hint, by the way."
"Riiiiiiight," I drawled. "Sorry, can't help you there. Eric, you don't mind helping me with that tonight, do you?"
He smiled. "I'll help you with an orgasm any time you like, Sookie."
"I meant help me with my clothes, Eric." When I saw his mouth start to open again, I headed off his next retort with silly face. "You know darn well what I meant; you're just teasing me. But you didn't say no."
"Hmn. Neither did you."
Just because I could, I gave him a nice, big grin.
Pam drove off to do her own thing while Eric and I flew to Fangtasia. We were both teasing the hell out of each other, but no actual moves were being made.
He was determined to let me make the first move, and I was grateful for that. I hoped he didn't feel like I was stringing him along; while that may have been how it was all playing out, that wasn't my intent. I just didn't know what I wanted. I knew he was more than a little interested in having sex with me, but I wasn't sure if he wanted more than that. I knew I wanted more, but I didn't know if he could even give it to me.
I knew that the minute he and I had sex, things between us would be forever changed. Being vampires, forever was a really long time.
When had I made the transition from wanting something romantic to wanting something that I could get away from, should I feel the need to do so? Even as a human, I'd known that my chances for a normal life were slim to none; now I'd never know if that were possible. There was even less chance of anything vaguely resembling normalcy for me, now that I was a vampire. As Jason would say: if my aunt had balls, she'd be my uncle; there was no way of knowing how things would have been different. One of these days, I supposed that would sink in.
Really, I just wanted to stop thinking about it, wanted it to stop being a regular issue in my life.
It had all gotten worse when Felix showed up. I couldn't explain why I was so strongly attracted to him. There was something about him that called out to me. Something that touched a place in me that no one had even known existed; it was a bizarre sensation, an awakening of some indiscernible part of me. Like a bear waking up from a long winter sleep, that side wanted to be sated; it wanted to feast on more of that connection.
Nothing in my life could ever be simple, could it?
Eric was flying slower than usual; we'd both gone silent, lost in our own thoughts. Or at the very least, he could tell that I was pondering something, and he was giving me some time to think. If that was the case, it was a nice gesture.
More likely, he was prolonging the flight so that he could have more time with our bodies pressed together.
When we arrived at the club, we went through the back entrance and straight into his office. There were several packages and boxes for me, just as he'd said. I hadn't realized just how much we'd ordered; this was insane. I was glad Eric was helping me: even with vampire strength, I couldn't imagine the logistics of carrying all of this stuff.
He sat down at his desk and fired up his laptop while I got down to the business of opening boxes, sorting clothes, and generally making a mess of things. Every now and again, I'd look up and catch him watching me. He never tried to hide it, never got flustered by being caught; he would just grin, sometimes wink, and then turn his attention back to whatever he was doing on his computer.
Finally, I had all of my new clothes organized into five roughly equal piles. I got four of those piles squared away until other nights, when I would take them to other houses. Once everything was straightened out, Eric helped me load one of the sets of clothes into the trunk of his car. We drove off to the three-bedroom house we'd rested in during the previous day; when we got there, he helped me again with carrying everything into what was now officially my room.
It felt nice to have my own room again. While I put all of my stuff away in the closet and dresser, Eric sat on my bed and told me about the conversation he'd had with Felix earlier in the evening.
I was surprised when he first mentioned the conversation; it seemed like something he should have mentioned earlier, but I could see why he would want to wait to talk about something like that. I'd long been aware that fairies existed, and I suppose I should have been shocked to find out that Felix claimed I had been one – at least in part – when I was still human. I think I didn't really want to believe it, mostly because of the source. This sort of information should have come from my family, and was the sort of thing I should have been told years ago.
Whatever reaction Eric had been expecting me to have, I didn't give it to him. I think he thought I might be upset, or on the other side of the spectrum, inspired to make contact with my very other relatives.
I had two families: Gran and Jason were the family from my human life; Pam and Eric were my vampire family. I didn't need a fairy family on top of all that. If they'd known about me all my life, and hadn't come forward, that meant they didn't want to be a part of my life; as such, I didn't have much interest in being a part of theirs.
When I was done putting away my new wardrobe, I flopped down on the bed and stretched out. Eric scooted closer and lay on his side, propping his head up with his hand.
"You've been quiet during all of this, Sookie. Tell me what you're thinking."
"What did you want me to say? Does it really matter what I was before I was turned?" I wanted him to say that it didn't matter: it might feel like one more thing I'd lost when I was turned. I didn't need that.
"It does if any of those fae attributes or abilities survived the transition; have you never wondered where your weather manipulation comes from?"
"Of course I have," I said with a frown. He'd always maintained that it wasn't a vampire trait. "But as you're always telling me: consider the source. Do you think Felix is being completely truthful?"
He smirked at me. "Normally I would consider that a rhetorical question; I know better than to think anyone is being completely honest in these types of situations. We're not currently in a position to prove him wrong, but he has yet to really provide any proof. All we have to go on are your reaction to fairy blood and your lack of reaction to the scent of fairy. The latter can be attributed to your odd sense of smell, and the former... well, it could be any number of things."
I would have shrugged, had I been sitting up. Instead, I crossed my legs at the ankles and folded my hands behind my head. "He wants something, that much is obvious. I just don't know what, or why."
"Do you come by your obliviousness naturally, or is it something you actively work at?" Eric asked.
"Pardon?"
"He wants you."
I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I am not that oblivious. I did happen to figure that out, thank you very much. I'm guessing he wants more than a romp in the sack."
He looked at me, and when he spoke next, his voice was quiet. "Wasn't that what you were looking for?"
Resisting the urge to fidget, I avoided looking back at him. I sighed. He was right in that I'd been hoping to find something with someone where what we had was more than just sex; now that the option might be presenting itself to me, I found myself simultaneously attracted and repelled. It didn't feel right; while I didn't think that feeling had anything to do with how Eric and Pam felt about Felix, I couldn't be certain.
I hadn't felt this emotionally scattered since I was turned.
I was drawn to Felix, but wasn't sure if I wanted him in that way. There was definite physical attraction, but I had no idea of whether or not we'd actually have any chemistry. Hell, I didn't even know if I would like spending time with him. I didn't know him.
Then there was Eric. I definitely felt something for him; he cared for me, but I wasn't sure to what extent. Even when he was teasing me something fierce, I felt comfortable with him. As long as it was in his power to stop it, he would never let anyone hurt me, himself included. As scary as it felt, the idea of altering our relationship in a way that could easily go sour, he felt safe.
Eric POV
I watched a myriad of emotions play over Sookie's face. If I didn't already know that she would never have given such a display in public, I might have chided her for it. Since it was just the two of us, I wasn't going to discourage her from showing emotion with me. I could sense her quite well, but I liked having the visual confirmation: when her expressions matched up with what I felt coming through the bond, I knew that she was being honest with herself as well as with me.
If she hadn't been so obviously deep in thought, I would have asked her if she'd thought my last question was a rhetorical one. As tempting as it might be to tease her, I wanted her to give serious thought to the question.
"When we were growing up, Jason was such a picky eater."
I blinked. While I had been expecting any number of responses, that was not among them. Not by a long shot.
"Mmkay. Care to expand on that? Maybe tell me how it relates to the conversation we were having?"
She laughed. "Sorry, there was a point to that. So, Gran had a hell of a time getting Jason to try new foods. She would fix something, and he would immediately say he didn't like it. She would ask him, 'How do you know you don't like it? You haven't even tried it yet.' He would grumble and try a bit of it, and just as often as not, he wound up liking it."
She hadn't rendered me speechless; it was more that I needed a moment to collect myself. "What are you saying, Sookie?"
With a smile, she shifted so that she was laying on her side, mirroring the position that I was lying in. She leaned in closer and whispered against my lips, "I was hoping to not say anything, for a while."
I felt her hand rest on my waist as she brushed her lips against mine.
We had kissed before; our first kiss had been when I'd tested whether or not I could compel her. More recently, she had given me a somewhat chaste peck. There had been other kisses in between those two, but she had only ever felt them as something friendly – nothing more.
There was no mistaking the meaning behind this kiss. Slowly, it deepened; I needed to know how far she was willing to take this before I went for what I wanted. When I felt her hand slide around to my back, exerting the slightest amount of pressure, I had my answer.
I wanted to devour her. Taste every inch of her skin, then go back for more. I leaned into the kiss, guiding her into lying on her back so that I could cover her with my body. I had needed to feel her under me, and it was finally happening.
Call it heaven, call it Valhalla, call it Nirvana or bliss; in that moment I called it Sookie. Her arms were wrapped around my neck as I nestled in the cradle of her thighs. Our bodies moved as if they had always known each other. As if by magic, our clothes vanished in bits and pieces. When I kissed my way down her curves, I wondered if it were possible for her to be any sweeter. With my head between her thighs, I found my answer.
I found what I hadn't even realized I'd been looking for. There was a heat between us that I couldn't explain, an actual warmth, the likes of which I hadn't felt before.
At no point did I sense any hesitation from her: only anticipation, tinged with a hint of relief.
When she came for me, it was the most exquisite thing I had ever seen. Eager to be inside her, I crawled up her body while she was still shaking. She moaned at the taste of herself in our next kiss, breaking it off with a sharp inhale as I began to enter her.
I stopped immediately. "Are you all right?"
"Don't stop, please don't stop."
With a groan, I buried my head in her hair and slid the rest of the way in. She was so unbelievably tight around me; I kept my initial movements short and slow, to ease her into the motion.
Sookie wound her hands in my hair, pulling my head back up so that she could kiss me. When her hips started moving with mine, I let my body's desire take over. One of her hands found its way to my lower back, urging me to take her harder, faster.
All of my senses were overwhelmed: the feel of her body against mine; her sweet taste, almost as addictive as her blood; her unique scent, which permeated the air around us; the sight and sound of her falling apart as she began to climax again. I was lost in her. This wasn't sex: this was something else entirely.
As she came, she lifted her head and pressed her lips to my neck. With one of my hands grasping the hair at the back of her head, I silently encouraged her to take what she wanted. The sharp sting of her fangs at my throat was enough to take me over the edge with her. I couldn't stop myself from sinking my own teeth into her neck.
Time seemed to stop in that moment. Our shared drinking, our orgasms: they seemed to go on forever. I hadn't ever felt such a connection to a single person. I never wanted to leave the shelter of her body.
We pulled back simultaneously, but reluctantly. I began to lift myself off of her, concerned that I was too heavy, but she instantly placed her hands against my back to keep me there. I let my forehead rest against hers and closed my eyes, enjoying the aftershocks.
"Now that you've tried it," I murmured, "What do you think?"
At the feel of her hands leaving my back to cup my face, I opened my eyes and looked into hers. Such a heady mix of emotions flowed through our bond, I took an involuntary breath.
Sookie took me by surprise when she rolled us over and sat up with me still inside of her. I was instantly ready to go again at the sight of her.
"I want more," she whispered, her eyes flashing golden as she began to move on top of me.
I groaned happily. "Dawn won't be here for another few hours."
Her hands reached for mine and guided them to her breasts. "Perfect," she breathed.
My thoughts exactly.
Disclaimer: All of the characters contained in this story are property of Charlaine Harris (except Felix, he's all mine). I don't own them; I just like to play with them a bit.
