The days that followed were busy. Men were packing away their personal belongings, packing away the head-quarters or training for the upcoming mission. In between shutting down the sick bay and sorting my own life out, I ran refresher first aid training for all the medics, especially aimed at the replacements that had come in as medics. Sophia and Jennifer were there to have on hand if some of them got a little lost.

Taking a coffee break, the three of headed to the mess. The new guys were good, just a little green behind the gills.

"Jesus, were we ever that green?" Jenny asked flopping to the nearest arm chair. "You most definitely were! You wouldn't say boo to a goose, let alone bark orders at some junior medic!" Jenny stuck her tongue out. "I still see you don't behave like an officer!" Since our return almost three months ago, Jenny's dramatic change was something I still wasn't used to. She was loud and always looking for the nearest party and drank more than any girl I had ever met, with the exception of Sophia, prior to us leaving for Normandy. "You don't either!" She was having a dig about my relationship with Liebgott. Sophia remained strangely quiet. Normally the bubbly lively soul of the party was now reserved and quiet. There was sadness in her eyes I had never seen before.

"I don't want to go back." She said. It was what we were all thinking. "Neither do I Soph. I don't think any of us want to do back." But there was something final in her voice.

"Sophia, what aren't you telling us?" She shifted uncomfortably. "Sophia?" I asked with a little more command in my voice. She got up and started to pace in front of her chair. It was a stresser that helped her cope. "I have spoken with Lt. Spiers about being transferred out. I can't do this anymore." Her voice was picking up speed. Worrds starting and ending with no bereak. Then came the clincher. "I'm not going to Europe with you. I'm going home." Her last 3 words sucked the air out of the room.

"Y'all just gonna leave? You're gonna desert your company? You can't" Jenny's words hung in the air. Sophia turned to face her accuser "I just can't go back Jen. I'm sorry. I just can't stand it. I can't watch any more men die!" Sophia was sobbing. As much as I loved her, I resented her decision.

"You are a god-dam officer in the United States Army! You're a Combat Nurse and you're gonna just give up? Fine! Go home and be safe. We don't need cowards like you!" Jenny grabbed her cap and left, slamming the door behind her. Sophia dropped into the nearest chair, her sobbing echoing around the room. All her fears and vulnerability had been laid out to infront of her closest friends and one of them had vehermently rejected her.

"I'm sorry Betty. I really am. I just can't go back over there!" I felt like shaking her and telling her to get a grip on what was happening in the world, but I would be wasting my breath. She had made up her mind and she was sticking to it. It upset me that one of the most strongest and confident women that I knew could be so consumed by fear. Tha it was so bad, it would make her choose to leave her Unit. "I wanted to be like you so much. I wanted to be strong and brave and even get promoted!" Her words sounded so desperate, but her fear of dying had taken over. "I understand." Did I really? Could I forgive her? Was it my place to? "I will need you to run the jump medicals between now and the end of the week." I was in Senior Nurse mode, moving people round. "I will speak to Capt Ryan about getting a replacement officer." Leaving her to compose herself, I headed back out to the lesson. Thankfully Roe had taken charge as I was late arriving.

With Sophia's resignation in effect and Jennifer's resentment, the atmosphere in the cottage was unbearable. Jenny refused to as much as stand in the same room as Sophia and whilst my feelings were no where near as strong as Jenny's I ensured I didn't discuss anything relevant to the jump in front of her.

Leaving Aldbourne was like saying good bye to family. It was always harder the second time around especially as we weren't coming back this time. But this time I was with Easy on the back of the Transport, which was an experience in itself.

"I knew I should have climbed in the Officer's jeep!" I moaned as we bumped and bounced our way towards the waiting area.

"But you know you would have missed us if you had!" George Luz piped up from the corner. "I'm sure I would have coped George!" Membury was the waiting area for all the airborne forces that had been called up. Grabbing my kit, I headed off to find the other medical officers. 2nd Lt. Marcus Gibson from Atlanta had been the junior medical officer for Baker Company, 3rd Battalion, but he had been transferred after Sophia had resigned. We had met when the regiment was awaiting transport back to England after Normandy.

"Elizabeth! How was the ride down? I see you are still in one piece!" Marcus was a gentleman's officer. Whilst he used the nicknames of the men, he always used my proper name. "I feel like I have been shaken from head to foot. My whole body is bruised!" Laughing, we entered the briefing tent. The Regimental Surgeon, Capt Bernard Ryan was a Normandy veteran like many of us, as well as a recipient of the Silver Star and the Silver Star with Oak Leaf cluster for his actions whilst serving in Normandy.

"Lieutenant Reedman, Lieutenant Gibson nice to see you." Capt Ryan greeted us. "Good Morning Sir." We chorused. Whilst the news of my promotion had been common knowledge with 2nd battalion, it obviously hadn't filtered out to the rest of the regiment. Marcus nodded at my bars and mouthed "congratulations". I excused myself to look for my seat, when the men started discuss the sports news that had been received from home.

Both Lewis and Dick, who were now acting in official capacity as Company CO and Battalion S2, were gathered around what were covered sand tables. They were draped in a black cloth so that they could be shown during the brief and not before. Harry Welsh, Buck Compton and the other new officers of the regiment were milling about.

"Hey Betty! Nice of you to join us! How was it getting bounced around in the back of a truck for a few hours?" He had been waiting a while to take the mickey out for my choice in transport.

"It was strangely pleasant thank you Lewis!" I childishly stuck the tip of my tongue out at him. Dick coughed quietly, reminding us, where we were and who we were meant to be. "So any sneak peaks at what this is all about?" Lewis shook his head. Whilst we could act like children ninety per cent of the time, there was that ten per cent when we acted like the leading officers we were being paid to be.

"Nothing I can give away at the moment. But it's huge, I can say that!" The feelings of dread came back. I tried to shake them off, burying them at the back of my mind hoping they would disappear. But they clung to me like a bad penny.

"Hey Betty, you okay?" Harry Welsh asked as I was staring into space.

"Erm, what? Oh Hi Harry. Yeah I'm fine. Just tired that's all!" I followed him round to the bench at the far side of the tent, were the smell of coffee was slowly permeating the air around two privates were handing out mugs.

"Can I live here and never head back to that bastard hell hole?" Harry asked as a private stirred two generous helpings of sugar into his black coffee. "This has to definitely be the one thing I miss the most. The coffee in the rations is just awful." As we made the rounds, chatting with other officers and senior NCO's that were required to be there, it made me realise how much I missed the girls.

Sophia had been driven to the port in Southampton to catch the next available ship that was a heading back to the states. It had been such a sad way to say goodbye. Jenny had staunchly refused to say anything to Sophia until it had come to her getting into the jeep and then Jenny broke down in tears and fled down the front steps.

"I hate you for leaving us. But I pray that you are safe and happy back at home." With that she left, never looking back. Whilst I could stand losing the men, to some degree. It broke my heart to accept that I would not see Sophia again for a very long time.

Jenny had been called to Sink's office the morning before we left Aldbourne. I had heard whispers from the local nurses that she may have wanted to leave as well, but she said she would have to be carried away in chains before she would leave voluntarily. I was sat in the garden, in a rare moment of free time, soaking in the last smells of an English garden, when Jenny came flying thought the house. Her make up smeared by tears. Heading straight for her bed, I followed moments later with a cup of coffee.

"Jenny? What did Sink have to say?" All I could hear was her sobbing. Creeping round the door, Jenny had buried her face in the pillows. Her answer muffled. As I placed the coffee mug on the bedside table, I knocked two gold bars out of the way.

"Jennifer?" I asked questioningly. She looked up at me. "Sink, the bastard, has promoted me! He said that the CO of my Company had recommended me!" Anyone else would have been happy about the promotion; however there was something about this promotion that didn't fit.

"He said that I was so good at my blazing job, I have been given my own ward to run at the military hospital in London!" Sitting on the edge of her bed, I had no comforting words. The superiors in her unit had not submitted the paperwork for Jenny to go to Chilton Foliate, which meant that she wasn't jump trained. Whilst I was sure they hadn't done it intentionally, Dog Company had no use for a combat nurse that couldn't jump. I did wonder why Dog Company's CO hadn't applied for Jenny to undertake jump training, especailly with Sink authorising mine.

"Hey Betty, you still there?" As I zoned back to reality, Harry was waving his hand in front of my face.

"Yea, sorry Harry. I was just thinking about the girls. I miss them both so much." Heading back to the covered sand tables, everyone was ready for Lewis' brief. Settling in, I had a feeling that it was going to be a long morning.

All most an hour and many cigarettes later, I stood in the fresh air. The doubt and uncertainty that had plagued me earlier had come back in full force. I was worried maybe even scared but of what, I didn't quite know. The memories would follow the feelings. That is what had happened before Normandy. It was surprising that I actually wanted the memories. Having this feeling of uncertainty was awful. My thoughts were interrupted by the smell of expensive aftershave.

"I reckon with the intelligence we have, we could be home by Christmas. Catch the Germans on the back foot, hop over the Rhine, Berlin thank you very much!" Lewis was confident, maybe even a little over confident and no one could blame him. The intelligence looked promising. The only thing was we were under British command. "Say when all this is over, you should come to New York!" I turned to him; he had had a drink today that was for sure. "Maybe Lewis, when all this is over. Which will happen when I witness the unconditional surrender of the Third Reich and Hitler has one between the eyes." Lewis stayed quiet. "I will wrap it up for you for Christmas." Patting me on the shoulder I found myself walking between the different groups. Following my feet, I found Bull Randelman enjoying the sun before the enlisted men had their brief.

"Bull? You Okay?" "Oh hello Lt." He folded the letter he had been reading. In the time we had been back in England, Bull had not only been promoted to Sergeant, but he was now also a squad leader.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt your reading. I know how nice it is to get news from home." Picking up his kit belt, we walked back towards the tents.

"It was a letter from my Mother. She was just saying how everything is okay back home. She even mentioned you Lieutenant." I was shocked. "Really?" Bull was a quiet man and didn't really mention his family all that much.

"Yes, I told her that you were back with us. Obviously not telling her where you had been or what you had been doing." I was touched that he would have even thought of mentioning me. Letters home are the only contact to the outside world.

"Thank you Bull." As our walk ended outside the briefing tent, I patted myself down for my cigarettes, but came up empty handed. A hand offered a freshly light smoke. Bull made his apologies and left.

"Peace offering?" It was Bill and his puppy dog eyes. He was nervous. We hadn't spoken or should I say, I hadn't spoken a word to him since the night he had found me and Joe together. I looked at him, really studied his face. Whilst he walked, talked and acted like my best friend, there was something about him that was strange. I was shutting down and even though he hadn't opened his mouth.

"Why should I? You embarrassed me! You caused an argument over something that had nothing to do with you?" I was blunt and to the point. But quiet enough to keep the conversation private. He was the reason me and Joey had gotten together in the first place. Bill didn't know what to do.

"You're the only family I got left Betty. Henry's dead and God knows where or what Ernie is doing. You're the only thing I have from back home." He had a point, but I wasn't going to tell him that. "and well I was acted like an ass. Then and now." I didn't take a rocket scientist to work out what the "then" was for. "I just wanna say I'm sorry." I took the lit cigarette off him. Inhaling the bitter taste of the Lucky Strike, I blew out the smoke slowly. "I loved you Bill Guarnere. I have loved you ma whole life. Ain't nothings gonna change about that! But listen to me and you listen up real good." I took the bars off my collar, so he would know I was talking to him as his friend not as an officer. "I love Joseph. It's as plain and simple as anything else. Just like you and Frannie. I tell ya Bill, besides you, Pa and all ma brothers, I ain't never loved a man more and it don't matter what religion he is. I will be taking him home to meet everyone. Now if you have a problem with that, you keep your mouth shut, cos I don't wanna here you yapping!" He was looking down at his boots, like a child does when it's in trouble. "But, I forgive you. I don't have it in ma heart not to, especially with us jumping soon." He looked up at me, a small smile across his face. We had been through a lot but nothing was going to break us . He held his arms out for a hug. The idea of not finishing tension between us before we jumped was unthinkable. "I have to go Bee." Bill mumbled into my hair, the rest of his platoon had started filling into the briefing tent. Breathing in the last drag of the Lucky Strike, I could feel hands either side of my head. "Shit!" I whispered. Like a bolt sent from the heavens, every cell in my brain started to scream in protest. Collapsing to my knees, I was too busy trying to holding my brain together for fear it might explode, than to see half of HQ running out the back of the tent.

The headlines, pictures and voices telling me what my gut had been saying all along. This mission was bad. With the knowledge I had from the officer's brief, combined with the flashbacks, I had the clearest view of the next two months. And then the pain was gone, just as quickly as it had arrived. With one hand on my head and the other supporting me from collapsing on the ground, tears escaped my eyes. "We are screwed" I whispered. Nixon's voice floated round my head. "Betty? Betty? Lt. Reedman!" I shook my head; I looked up to see the rather worried faces of Lewis and Dick looking down on me.

"What the hell was that?" Nixon's voice was thick with concern. I had to think on my feet. "I get migraines when I'm nervous." Nixon looked at me with challenging eyes. Wanting to get away from them, I got up from the ground.

"Lt. Reedman, I think it best that you head to the medical tent." I was starting to flap. You fucking retard! Migraines weren't conducive to being a paratrooper. I looked up at Dick."I'm fine sir, honestly. It's the first one I have had in years." Dick was suspicious, but didn't have the time to push it further. "If you are positive you feel okay, then you can join us in the briefing tent." Dick headed back into the tent whilst Nixon insisted on staying with me.

"You scared me half to death!" I laughed. "Honestly Lew, I didn't realise that you cared that much!" I joked as we entered the tent. All of Easy's men were seated, waiting for the final brief on what is to be expected of them.

"This is Operation Market Garden and in terms of airborne division, this one is bigger than Normandy." It was exactly the same brief that the officers had received. Standing at the front, I looked over the boys. The D-Day vets listening intently, smoking and making notes. The replacements complete in awe of what was happening. The briefing lasted just over an hour and the boys were restless. "We are dropping deep into occupied Holland. The Allied objective is to take this road here between Eindhoven and Arnhem so that the British Armoured Divisions can move up in towards Arnhem." The boys watched Dick as he moved around the maps and the sand tables. "Our job is to liberate Eindhoven, Stay there and wait for the tanks." Now it was Nixon's turn. As Battalion S2 or the Intelligence officer, he could provide a little more information on what was required of the regiment.

"The entire European advance has been put on hold to allocate resources for this operation. Its Montgomery's personal plan, so we'll be under British Command." This was not what the boys wanted to hear. The British were known for their lack of urgency and it didn't sit well with any us. Nixon had to brighten up the mood with something. "Good news is, if this works, these tanks'll be over the Rhine and into Germany. That could end the war and get us home by Christmas." Whilst it all sounded good and the intelligence said it would be old men and young boys, it gave everyone a sliver of hope. I knew it was too good to be true and it just wasn't going to work out like that. "And say goodbye to England, cos I don't think they are going to call this one off." There it was. We were leaving and not coming back. Now it was my turn. Pull yourself together woman. "I would like to hand over to Lt. Reedman for a few medical notes that squad members alike should take on board." Taking the notes from my pocket, I was trying to prevent the horrors of Normandy.

"Gents, a couple of parish notices. All platoon leaders are required to send one member to the medical tent to collect extra supplies. Everyone from here on in, is to carry extra bandages. I am currently in the process of arguing for more morphine, but that may have to stay at one per man." I flipped the notes over. "The following men are to see me at the medical tent after this brief. Stephenson, Miller, Capt Winters, Ssgt Guarnere, Cpl Liebgott." They had all been injured whilst in Normandy and the Surgeon wanted to make sure that they were okay. Bill and Joe, I wanted to see for other reasons. With the Company, dismissed, I headed to the medical tent, with Dick following in seconds behind me.

"And why would you need to see me?" His red hair sparkled in the sun, which complemented his blue eyes. "Surgeon's orders, I'm afraid. All those who were injured in Normandy have to be checked over!" Dick rolled eyes. "Elizabeth? You are a horrendously bad liar! In fact you are almost as bad as Nixon!" I faked surprised. "Now why would I lie to one of my best friends, even if he was my Commanding Officer?" Dick looked torn; he wanted me to tell him something without directly asking me. "I have heard that you may need to talk to me, about grievances between yourself and another member of the Company." I stopped dead. "Bill told you?" My heart was pounding so much; I was convinced he would see it.

"Staff Sergeant Guarnere told me nothing. However Cpl Toye happened to mention that Guarnere was sporting a hand print looking red mark on his face." I felt like a child who was being reprimanded. "We had a disagreement and things were said." I wasn't going to tell Dick the subject of the argument. "As long as everything between you two is now okay. I need both of you to be focused." I flashed him a smile. "Everything is fine now." I hoped he was happy with what he had seen and that the suspicious streak within him would not cause him to go asking anymore questions.

Filtering in the guys I had requested to see, the last two were Bill and Joe. They both stiffened up at the sight of each other. I wanted to get this cleared up especially as I had just had by brain fried and I knew exactly what we were in for!

"Right, before I even start" I waved my hands around us. "This right now is a one way conversation!" I held my hand up to silence Bill who I knew couldn't resist having a go. "Like I have told the pair of you, I love you both. You," I said turning to Bill "are my best friend. You always have been. I cannot move for memories that include you. But like I said before I love him too," pointing at Joe. "He is in my life, and will be for a long time and just because I am an officer, it won't stop us. Wha' happened between us happened. There ain't nothin' you or I can do about it." I knew Bill was itching to say something but I didn't let him get a word in. "If and when you marry Frannie, I will be on the front row watching. I don't blame you for what happened, but you can't be angry at Joe." Bill nodded. All his anger that had been boiling on the surface, was now gone. I turned to Joe. His big eyes looking at me, he already knew everything I had to say.

"You know I love you and you know I love him too. He is my best friend and I am sorry he hit you." I glared at Bill who sheepishly looked away. "If you love me and want me, then I am afraid he is part of it too." Joe nodded. He understood it better than Bill did. "I don't expect either of you to be the best of friends. But the least you can be is civil to each other. You both survived D-Day and everything the Germans have thrown at us since. Please do not let your jealous of each other be the reason one of you gets hurt." They both agreed to this. I didn't want to have to go through the next however many years, trying to keep the peace between my boyfriend and my best friend. I knew it had to be settled before we jumped, because once we were in the air, anything could happen, to any of us. Mockingly dismissing them both, I collapsed onto the bench. My life had gone from fairly ordinary, to completely upside down. Can people not leave me alone for two minutes? I grumbled. All I wanted was a few minute alone, so I could sort out my head and the new memories that had been downloaded into my brain. There was a huff outside and an arm proceeded to stick through the door, holding a hipflask.

"I'll leave you alone if you want. But I figured that sorting out Liebgott's and Guarnere's petty squabbles deserves a drink!" Lewis popped his head round the flap. I jumped up from the bench, nearly knocking the thing over. "What did you hear?" It was a little abrupt, but I had to ask. "Nothing exciting, just that they had both survived D-Day and that they shouldn't let their petty squabbles get in the way." He was paraphrasing to say the least. I let a nervous smile creap across my face. It was never a good idea to lie to the Intelligence Officer, but on this one occasion, I decided to take my chances.

"In that case Lewis, you're a star!" I accepted his offer. Allowing the bitter sweet smell of Vat 69 whiskey to consume my senses, I escaped for all of a few seconds. My two best friends were now scattered to the four winds and here I was preparing for my first combat jump. Trust Lewis to be around to brighten up my hour of darkness. A little pick-me-up is not going to hurt anyone…just depends on how many I have in the day! Handing the flask back, I set about sorting out the tent. Lewis was perched on the side of the bench.

"Them two fighting again?" I looked at him puzzled? "Again? They have fought before?" It was news to my ears. Lewis took a swig of the flask. He'll be bloody lost without that thing when we get to Holland. I know he can sweet talk the spots off a cheetah, but I doubt the German's will just hand over the whiskey! "On as regular basis from what the reports Sobel had. It all kicked off on the Samaria on the way over to England." "Did it now?" I listened to Lewis, dishing the gossip like a school girl who had nothing better to do and decided that it was information well worth remembering.

"Say Lewis, with you being Battalion Staff an all, could you keep an eye on someone if you wanted to? Like keep track of where they are?" He looked at me with an inquisitive look. "I'm worried about the girls and with me heading out to Europe without them, well it just doesn't feel right. I just want to make sure that they are okay. I always told them I would look out for them." Lewis clutched at his heart. "Elizabeth, I didn't realise how much you cared!" I threw the bandages I had in my hand at him. "I miss them Lewis! They are my sisters and I miss them so much. It would only be like if you and Dick were ever to be split up. Think just how you would feel about that?" Taking a couple of seconds to mull over my request and how he would feel if Dick was gone, Lewis patted me on the shoulder. "I'll see what I can do for you Betty."