A/N Thanks for all of you who were kind enough to leave a review. I really can't stress enough how much they mean to me. They really are my fuel for writing this! I'm excited about this chapter. As you can probably guess from the title, it's an emotional one.
Again, all credit goes to my amazing beta reader, Jenny, for her hard work on this chapter. This story is as much hers as it is mine.
Anyway, here's chapter 28, hope you enjoy!
Chapter 28 – Final goodbyes.
Jack kept a watchful eye on Sayid but occasionally glanced over at Kate, who sat massaging her forehead with a trembling hand. She'd insisted it was just a migraine, but instinct told him there was more to it.
Jack wasn't the type of person who sat back and let things happen— he refused to watch from the side lines. From a young age, he had an instinctual need to help others, in any way he knew how. It's why he became a surgeon. Being a doctor allowed him to play an active role in helping others and suited his compulsive need to fix things.
In the operating theatre, a pressured environment where the stakes of life and death are never higher, Jack's job was guiding a team of inexperienced surgeons through each step of the procedure, and for this, he had to adopt the role of leader. Knowing that the decisions he made would determine the outcome of the surgery gave Jack a strange sense of reassurance. It reinforced the fact that he was in charge. That he had complete control of the situation at hand was comforting.
He sighed heavily. Despite being a man of action, here he was, sitting around, waiting for something to happen. With sunset impending, it felt wrong to be holed up indoors. He should be with Hurley and the others at the fence— he should be doing anything other than sitting around. But, until Miles radioed in to give the green light that Locke was on his way, he had no choice but to wait inside the house, no matter how tedious.
Sat by the window, Sawyer peered out at the last of the sunlight through a gap in the curtains. Soon darkness would fall. Not long now, he thought to himself, and gave an involuntary shiver. He looked down at the walkie in his hand, hoping to hear Miles' voice call out from the static. Sunset was nearly upon them and they needed to get the plan into motion. Dammit, Miles. Where are you? His silent prayer was answered, the walkie crackling to life and disrupting the quiet. He jumped to his feet. "Miles, that you?"
It was as though the air had been sucked from the room. Everyone held their breath and anxiously awaited a response.
Through the static of the walkie, a whispered voice spoke, "Yeah Jim, it's me."
Sawyer couldn't contain his smile. "It's good to hear your voice, Enos. What's happenin' out there? You and Hugo safe?"
Several minutes passed as Sawyer and Miles exchanged information. Once the conversation ended, Sawyer left his post and joined the others who were looking at him for an update. He took a seat beside Juliet on the couch.
"Well?" Jack asked, anxious for news. "What's going on?"
"Miles and Hurley are ready and waiting at the North side. Richard and his people are there too."
Jack's brow furrowed. "Richard's here, already?"
"Yeah, but that ain't all…"
Juliet sensed there was something wrong. "James, what is it?"
Sawyer spared her a brief glance, but his eyes remained on Jack when he said, "One of Richard's guys spotted Locke and his buddies in the jungle. They're headed this way. I'd say it's about time we got this show on the road."
Jack nodded, a little reluctant, then ventured over to the kitchen table where he selected a handgun and loaded it with ammo. He hurried back into the living room and walked over to Sayid. "Take this and meet Ilana down at the south side of the barracks," he said, holding the weapon out in front of him. "I've radioed her. She knows everything. If you do anything suspicious, she'll shoot you on sight." Sayid reached to take the gun from his hand, but Jack held onto the weapon. "We're trusting you to do the right thing here, Sayid. For everyone's sake, don't let us down."
"I won't. I promise." Slowly, Jack relinquished his hold on the gun. Sayid took a walkie from the coffee table and placed it inside his pack. "I'll see you all out there." He scanned his eyes across the faces around the room and left the house without saying another word. As the front door closed behind him, Jack felt a stab of guilt for letting his friend walk away without a proper goodbye. But friendship was built on trust, and Sayid had broken that trust.
"Jack," Sawyer's quiet voice called over to him. "Miles is waiting for us… it's time."
Jack looked at the people gathered beside him. They had started out as a group of strangers, brought together by the most unlikely set of circumstances. Forced to work together to survive, they formed a bond like no other. With years of fighting each other's corner, years of having each other's backs, they had grown to be more than just friends. They were family. Jack wasn't ready to say goodbye.
"So where do we fit into all this?" Kate asked, referring to herself and Juliet who had yet to be mentioned in the plan.
Sawyer shifted nervously in his seat. "Here's the thing… the fence is strong, but it ain't gonna keep Locke out forever. Sooner or later he's gonna get inside…" He paused, letting the room digest his words before reaching for Juliet's hand, giving it a soft squeeze. "So me and Jack have been talking, and we think it's best you go to the temple. You heard what Alpert said, it's the safest place on the island."
Kate struck the men a questioning look when what she really wanted to do was strike them in the face. Juliet slipped her hand from Sawyer's as Kate asked the question, "You can't be serious?"
Sawyer avoided her gaze. "Afraid so."
Kate was about to object, but Jack shut her down before she could speak. "It's not open for debate. You leave in five minutes."
Without saying another word, Kate got up and stormed out of the house. Jack winced as the front door slammed behind her. "That went well…" With a heavy sigh, he stood. "I should probably go after her."
"Just make sure you're back here in five minutes," Sawyer reminded him. "We ain't got much time."
Jack nodded dutifully and left the house. Outside, he stopped to watch the sun set over the jungle in the distance. Sunset was officially here. They were out of time. He cursed, asking himself for the millionth time; why was this happening to them?
He marched across the lawn, searching the barracks for Kate, and found her sitting on a swing in the rundown park. Stepping over the fallen white picket fence, he took a seat on the swing beside her.
Kate turned away and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt to hide the fact she'd been crying. Jack rocked back and forth on the swing, unsure of what to say. Words seemed pointless. Nothing he could say would change the situation they were in. So instead he reached into his pocket and retrieved the photograph of her and Aaron, hoping it would bring a smile to her face. He held it out in front of her. "I found this back at the house. I figured you might want it back."
Kate's eyes softened and she reached for the photo, delicately brushing her fingers over its faded edges. Just as Jack hoped, a smile graced her lips. "I thought I'd lost this…"
"It's from the day at the park, right? When we had that picnic?" Kate responded with a nod, her watery eyes glued to the photo. Jack smiled, "Remember the dog that came over and started eating all the food?"
She laughed and her eyes lit up, sparkling like they did on the photograph. "Yeah, I remember, and you tried to chase it away but it peed on the picnic blanket?"
"That damned dog..."
Kate smiled at the memory. "That was a good day."
"Yeah, it was, wasn't it?"
"The best." Her fingers traced over Aaron's angelic face and her lip quivered. "He said his first word that day, do you remember?"
"Course I do."
"He called me mama." She said it with such pride.
Motherhood had completed Kate. Once Jack had gotten his head around the idea of raising his sister's son as their own, he used to marvel at how amazing Kate was with Aaron. She lit up around him. It was beautiful to watch. Aaron was the most important thing in her life, there was no doubt. Each day away from him was torture.
Dragging her eyes from the photo, Kate faced him with a sad, broken smile. "I brought this with me so I wouldn't forget what he looks like. I know, stupid right?"
"It's not stupid at all."
She held the photo to her chest and closed her eyes, a single tear escaping, "When I left him that night in the motel, it never really sunk in that I wouldn't see him again. But now…"
Jack grasped her chin in gentle fingers. "Hey, look at me. You're gonna see him again, I promise. Go to the temple and wait out the rest of the night there. Come tomorrow, this'll all be over and we can go home."
She gave a small nod, his reassurance giving her the strength she needed. She took one last look at the photo before placing it in Jack's open palm.
He stared down at it in confusion. "I don't understand—"
"I want you to have it," she said. "As much as I want to stay here with you, I know I can't. I'm a mother now and my first priority is my son. I need to stay alive, for him. That's why I'm going. For Aaron." Reaching for his hand, she closed his fingers over the photograph. "If I can't be here with you tonight, then I want you to have a piece of me with you. Let this be a reminder that you're never alone. I am always with you."
Jack stared down at the photograph. There had been a time when he could've had the world; a beautiful wife, a son, a family of his own. He was the one who threw that promise away.
He tried giving it back. "Kate, I can't accept this."
"Please Jack, just take it."
Realising he too was crying, Jack let out a bittersweet laugh. "Well, I'm honoured." He carefully placed the photo inside his shirt pocket. Just then, his smile faltered and was replaced by a wistful sadness. "Kate, I know I've made a mess of things between us, but— "
Kate silenced him with the touch of her lips. The kiss was soft, gentle, and it awoke memories of their time together off-island. Jack deepened the kiss, savouring the feeling, knowing it could well be their last. When Kate eventually broke away, she left him feeling empty, his heart a dull ache.
Stroking his cheek, she looked into his eyes and searched them for truth. "Just promise me one thing. Promise me that I'll see you again."
His eyes broke away from her for only a second— was it wrong to make a promise he couldn't keep? Feeling a stab of guilt, he chose to say, "I promise."
Back at the house, Sawyer was in the kitchen busy packing a bag. He filled it with a map, two hand guns and a flashlight. Zipping it up, he carried it back into the living room where Juliet sat watching him from the couch.
"Everything you need's in here. Flashlight, map, and two handguns— you know, just in case." He placed the bag on the floor beside her feet. "You should get moving, we ain't got much time."
Juliet kicked the bag aside with her foot. "I'm not going."
He took a step towards her, shaking his head, "Juliet…"
She folded her arms in protest and stood up to face him. "I'm sorry, but it's not up to you. I said I'm staying, so I'm staying."
She knew the risks. She had been over them a thousand times in her head. If she stayed at the barracks, she would die. She had seen it in Locke's vision. But if she went to the temple and left him alone at the one time he needed her most, she wouldn't be able to live with herself. Besides, she wasn't going to let a vision determine her fate. She had no intention of dying tonight. From now on she would make her own destiny.
Shaking his head, Sawyer placed a tender hand on her arm. "You don't know what you're saying. This place ain't safe. Locke will get inside the perimeter in a matter of minutes, and when he does, most of us…" He stopped himself; he couldn't say it aloud. "You're not a candidate. You don't need to be here. That's why you gotta go."
"And let you face him alone? No way. We're a team, remember? You have my back, I have yours. My place is here, with you."
Ignoring her, Sawyer lifted the bag off the floor and slung it over her arm. "There's directions on the map I put in your bag. Richard said if you follow 'em, then you should reach the temple in less than an hour."
She shrugged off the bag and it fell to the floor. "James, you're not listening to me!"
"No, you ain't listening to me!" Something in Sawyer snapped, and he grabbed her roughly by the arm and shook her. "This is war! And chances are the people fightin' it are gonna die… I don't wanna watch you die, not again. I can't."
Juliet stared at him, wide eyed. He would never dare act this way towards her, he was never aggressive. She looked down at his iron grip on her arm, and suddenly it all made sense. Her eyes softened. "Oh… that's what this is really about."
"You have any idea how scared I was when you let go of my hand? Watching you fall? You died and you act like it never even happened!" When she attempted to shrug off his touch, his grip tightened. "You got any idea how it felt holdin' your body in my arms, how it felt losing you— and the baby?!"
Juliet flinched as soon as the words left his mouth, and he instantly regretted saying them. The wound of losing their unborn child was still so raw, and neither of them had spoken much about it since it happened. Most people try to bury painful memories deep in the back of their minds, but something as profound as the loss of a child can't simply be forgotten.
Realising he was hurting her, Sawyer released her arm and backed away. "I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me."
But that wasn't exactly true. It had been brewing ever since the incident at the swan site; a paranoid fear of losing her. Everyone he loved always had a way of leaving him. Some left through tragic circumstance, like his parents, but most left because he ended up pushing them away. He was good at that, pushing away the people he cared about. Juliet was the first person in his life to ever stick around, no matter how hard he pushed. She made him feel part of a team, and together, they were an excellent team. Now he couldn't imagine life without her. And the thought of losing her, the thought of her leaving him, was too much.
Juliet could only stare at him and brush a hand over her stomach. She wanted to scream. All her bottled up emotion needed a release. She had tried to stay strong, for herself, for James, but now everything was falling apart around her. She felt on the verge of unravelling.
Her voice soft as a whisper, "I will never forget that day. The things that happened. The things we both lost."
Sawyer eyed the red mark he'd left on her arm, and dropped his head in shame. He nodded over to the bag on the floor. "I can't make you do anything you don't wanna do. But you know where I stand. And if you've got any sense, you'll take the bag and get the hell outta here."
"Sawyer…"
They turned at the sound of Jack's voice. Neither of them had heard him enter the house and they dreaded to imagine how long he'd been standing there, listening to them.
"Doc…" Sawyer said, a little flustered. "Didn't hear ya come in. Where's Kate?"
"Sorry, I should've knocked… err, she went back to grab a few things from her place."
The stifled tension between the couple could be sliced with a knife, and Jack couldn't help but feel bad for his friends. When he'd first come back to the island, he remembered his surprise at learning they were a couple. They seemed such an unlikely pair, one that wouldn't last long, but he quickly came to realise how well-suited they were for each other. They seemed an unbreakable force. Always had each other's back. To see how the outbreak of war had strained their relationship was disheartening.
He caught a glimpse of the unshed tears in Juliet's eyes, before turning to Sawyer. "Are you ready to go?"
"As ready as I'll ever be." Sawyer tried his best to make light of the situation, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the sadness from his voice. "Actually, would you mind giving us a minute?"
At Jack's anxious look, he added, "It'll only take a minute, I promise."
"Of course." Jack nodded in understanding and stepped outside.
With Jack gone, Sawyer turned back to Juliet. He was surprised to see her standing with the bag in her hand. His eyes shut in momentary relief. "Thank you." He didn't know what had evoked her sudden change of heart, but he was grateful for it.
Her bottom lip was trembling, but no tears fell. "So, this is it? Goodbye?"
"I'll see you in a couple hours," he corrected her.
"Right…"
He drew closer. "Hey, listen, as soon as this is all over, I'll come get you. Then you and me are getting the hell off this rock and never looking back. We can go home, and do all those things we talked about."
A knock at the door interrupted the moment between them and the pair were reminded that they were out of time.
"That'll be Jack." The break in Sawyer's voice painfully twisted Juliet's stomach. He placed the pack over her shoulders and adjusted the straps. "Remember what I said, head straight to the temple, follow the directions on the map—"
"I got it."
He gently brushed her arm. "Right then. You're all set."
He studied her face, drinking in every last detail. She was so beautiful. How he'd managed to land a woman like her was something he'd never understand. In the real world, women like Juliet didn't look twice at guys like him. He supposed that's why it took being stranded on a mysterious time travelling island for them to fall in love.
With a pained sigh, he turned away. When he reached the front door, he paused and looked back at her. He ached to say something more, to say 'I love you'.
"Juliet…" He decided against it. "Be careful, okay?" With that, he walked out the door and met Jack, who was waiting out on the porch. The cool night air hit Sawyer like a slap in the face. "Sorry about that. You ready to go?"
Jack eyed him carefully. "Everything okay?"
"Everything's fine," he grunted defensively. "Let's go."
"We can talk about it, if you want to?" Jack offered, but Sawyer had already begun walking away.
The front door burst open and a desperate voice called him back. "James…wait!"
When Sawyer turned around Juliet came crashing into him, nearly knocking him off his feet. She sobbed onto his shoulder, a sound that shattered Sawyer's heart. He wrapped her up in his arms and wished never to let go. "Hey, you're worse than Hugo," he teased in an effort to comfort her. "Stop worrying would ya? Everything's gonna be alright. Nothing's gonna happen."
He had to be the strong one. He couldn't admit he was terrified; terrified of what the night would bring, terrified that this could be the last time he'd hold her in his arms.
She pulled back and looked into his eyes. There weren't any tears, he was too stubborn for all that. Yet, she knew it was an act. He was trying to be strong, for her. Leaning forward, she placed her lips against his in a tender kiss. The gesture took Sawyer by surprise but he didn't argue. He kissed her back with a fiery passion, one hand running through her hair, the other palming her cheek - if there was a chance it would be their last, he was sure as hell going to make it memorable.
When they broke apart, they pressed their foreheads together. Sawyer looked into her eyes and a dimpled grin appeared on his face. "What was that for?" he asked, a little breathless.
"Because, I love you."
He smiled, tears threatening, and placed a soft kiss on the top of her head. "Well, I love you back."
"But I swear James, if you die out there, I'll kill you."
He laughed. "Listen, if it's me against Locke, then I reckon Locke's the one who should be worried, don't you?" On a serious note, he added, "I'll see you soon."
She smile lovingly. "Yeah. You will."
Jack watched the tender moment and was reminded of the kiss he'd shared with Kate just minutes ago on the swing. "Juliet, you should take this." He tossed her the walkie from his pack. "You'll need it when you and Kate get to the fence. Radio in and I'll get someone to turn it off so you can pass through."
She placed the device into her pack. "Will do." She walked over to him and hugged him tightly. "Be safe, Jack."
"We'll be fine. Don't worry about us." He patted the pack on her back. "Make sure that either you or Kate radio in from time to time to let us know you're safe."
"Sure. We'll keep you posted."
Sawyer looked at Juliet one more time, his heart aching, before turning to Jack. "Right, let's get moving Doc. We've got ourselves a war to win. Let's go kill the son of a bitch."
Juliet watched them walk into the darkness. It took everything in her power to stop herself from running after them. Tears streaming down her face, she watched until Sawyer disappeared into the darkness of the night. "Please, be careful."
From the steps of her front porch, Kate gazed up at the night sky. There were no stars; dark rain clouds stirred overhead, hiding them from view. All except for one brightly shining star that wouldn't allow the darkness to corrupt it. She stared up at it, captured by its shimmering beauty. Without realising it, she found herself singing the words to 'Catch a Falling Star', a song Claire used to sing to Aaron as a baby. Kate always made sure she sang it to him each night before he went to sleep.
"… For when your troubles start multiplying, and they just might… It's easy to forget them without trying, with just a pocketful of starlight…"
Juliet appeared from the shadows, her face solemn. The two women looked at each other, knowing exactly what the other felt. They were both leaving the people they loved behind.
Juliet was first to speak. "Ready to go?"
Kate shot one last look at the star in the sky before nodding. That shimmering disk in the sky was their last shred of hope in this dark time. "I guess so," she said, stumbling slightly upon rising, and brushed her faded blue jeans. "Do you have any idea how to get to the temple?"
Juliet patted the rucksack on her back. "I've got a map. The trek should take about an hour if we follow the directions." She turned to walk away, but stopped when Kate hesitated. "Something wrong?"
'Yes', Kate wanted to say, staring into the distance, 'something's very, very wrong.'
"It's just…I need to find Jack. I need to talk to him…there's something I have to tell him. I promise it won't take long—"
"He left with James a few minutes ago. They'll be long gone by now." Juliet paused, giving a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry." Watching the twinkle of hope in Kate's eye fade, triggered a sympathetic response from Juliet. "But he did give me this…" She retrieved the walkie from her pack and tossed it to Kate, who caught it with surprise. "You can use it to talk to him. He said to call him when we reach the fence so he can turn it off."
Kate tucked the device into the back pocket of her jeans and nodded gratefully. "Okay, let's go."
The two women walked through the barracks, taking one last look at the rows of peeling yellow houses as they passed. This would be the last time they would see the place standing. By the end of the night, the dharma barracks would surely be reduced to a pile of rubble. Kate stared wistfully at the swing set where she and Jack had said goodbye only minutes ago. To stem the flow of tears, she reminded herself this wasn't goodbye. He had promised her they'd make it home together, and Jack was a man of his word. She would see him again.
As they headed further and further away from the houses, Juliet stole a backwards glance at the yellow house she and Sawyer had shared for the past three years. Their home. After tonight, all the memories they'd shared in that house would be just that, memories. With a heavy sigh, she let her gaze gravitate toward a brightly shining star in the night sky. It was silly to wish upon a star, childish even, but she did it anyway. Then, averting her gaze, she continued to push forward. Now wasn't the time to get emotional.
A/N: Things are starting to set into motion. I promise it's full steam ahead from here! Hmm... I wonder who's going to make it through the night? Will they all make it off the island, or will Locke be getting a victory? Guess you'll have to wait and see... Thanks for reading, please be sure to leave a review!
