Chapter 29

Placing a couple of bottles into the baby bag, I hurried back into my room, where Clara lay, waiting, on the bed.

"Okay baby, let's get you into that pretty little dress Uncle Jake got you." I announced, taking off Clara's warm pyjamas.

"Ah Bella," Jacob popped his head around the corner, "Alice's is on the phone." He said, before handing the phone to me.

"Hey Alice." I cried.

"Hi Bella, listen I don't think I'll be able to make it for lunch today... something's come up."

I frowned, "What is it?"

"Oh don't worry about it Bella. Can you call me later, I've got to go. I'm really sorry about lunch, I was looking forward to it, but I have to deal with something first. I'll see you later. Say hi to Clara for me." Alice said, before she hung up.

I looked down at the phone. "So what'd she want?" I spun around and found Jacob standing in the door way.

"Oh, something came up and she can't make it to lunch. But I'm to call her later, so could you remind me. Thanks." I said after he nodded.

Turning back to Clara I said over my shoulder, "Well we'll be ready in a minute."

I heard him leave but then his steps stopped.

"Hey Bells this is the charm bracelet I gave you?" he asked, holding up the item after I'd finished sliding the pink fluffy dress over Claras head and turned to face him.

Nodding I said, "Off course, why?"

He shrugged, flipping through the charms, "I don't remember giving you this one." He said, coming forth, holding a small heart shaped diamond in between his fingers.

I turned back to Clara immediately. "It's nothing... well it's not, umm Edward gave it to me last week... for Christmas." I said casually.

Jacob whistled in approval, "Man, he knows how to spend. Makes all the other charms I've given you look like crap."

Picking up a fully clothed Clara, I turned to him, "Don't say that Jake. I love the charms. I don't even know why I put the diamond on. Here take Clara for a minute." I said, handing over my little bundle of joy, and snatched the bracelet out of his hands.

"Hey what are you doing?" Jake cried, as he watched me try and loosen the little link attacting the diamond to the bracelet.

"What does it look like? This is your charm bracelet, not his..."

Jake laughed, "Bella don't be childish, leave the damn diamond on. Come on lets go, or the restaurant will give out table away."

Slipping the bracelet on my wrist, I gathered my coat, bag and Clara's bag before following Jacob out into the hall.

"Hey, where you guys going?" I heard a familiar voice ask from the top of the stairs.

Shutting and locking the door I turned to find Edward watching us, with a little smile on his lips.

'Bella don't think about his lips!' while scowled myself, Jacob answered Edward.

"We're going out for some New Years Eve lunch."

Clara, who'd gotten quite used to Edwards frequent visits, struggled against Jacobs hold, was looking Edward, as if making sure he didn't leave.

Edward, realising what Clara was doing, smiled.

'Jerk.' I thought.

"Hello baby," Edward said, coming forth, holding his hands up to hold Clara.

My eyes narrowed slightly.

"So can I join?" Edward asked.

"No. We booked only 2 seats, and a high chair. Sorry," I said; with faux regret, smiling to myself at the disappointment on Edwards face. "Well we'd better go, or they might give out table away." I announced, walking towards Edward, ready to take my daughter out of his undeserving arms.

"Ah Bella, we booked three and Alice can't come, so Edward can come." Jacob said cheerfully.

Turning my head, I shot him the most menacing look I possessed at Jacob, who seemed pleased with himself.

"Thanks Jake." Edward said, turning towards the stairs, and Jacob followed.

"Coming Bells?" the traitor asked innocently.

I stomped towards the stairs, and didn't look up to meet either of their amused eyes.

I know it seems childish, but I didn't want to spend time with Edward, right now, and was pissed at Jacob for inviting him.

Whenever I was around Edward, I seemed to turn into jelly. The slightest tough from him or the sound of his voice would cause my knees to feel like they were going to give out and my stomach would suddenly turn into a fish out of water, flip flopping around.

Since the first time I saw him, after coming back, he's been coming over and I have been completely unaffected by his presence. Then last week, Christmas day, he turned up, as usually, but...

It must have been the lighting, or maybe Alice put something in the muffins she'd made, but I didn't see the man I'd been so unaffected by in the last couple of weeks. The man that stood before me was the one I had fallen in love with.

I had stood in the doorway, agape, staring into his damn green eyes, thinking how great it would feel with his strong arms around me. I mean he obviously still cares about me, and I now know I still have feelings for him, so why not.

Well that's about when the other half of my brain kicked in.

Muttering some excuse about a cold draft stunning me, when I opened the door, I stepped back, way back, and let him in.

The damn jerk smiled at me, as if he knew that the cold had nothing to do with my freezing upon seeing him.

Throughout his visit that day, it was becoming increasingly difficult to restrain myself from sliding onto his lap.

When Jacob had gone to the bathroom, and since Alice had left soon after Edward arrived, I was left alone with Edward.

I had planned on hiding in the kitchen until Jacob came back, but Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me around to face him.

In those few moments I had alone with Edward, were the most intense moments I've ever experienced.

Nothing happened, thank god, all Edward did was kiss my forehead and cheeks lightly before sliding a little box into my hand.

I can still feel the skin tingling from where he'd kissed me.

From that moment on, I've done my best at keeping space between Edward and me, but now it'll be extremely difficult to follow my plan. Since I'm having lunch with Edward and don't have the excuse of having to go to the shops or cooking something, unless I went to the restroom a lot, I would be sitting far too close to Edward for my liking, for a while.

"Here Bella, let me help you with that." Edward said, walking around the table to help take my coat off.

"No I'm fine," I lied, trying to pull my elbow out of the sleeve.

"Bella just let him help you. You're making a scene." Jacob said, referring to the other diners, in the restaurant.

Sighing, I closed my eyes, and concentrated on my breathing, as I felt Edwards' hands rest on my shoulders, pulling the thick jacket off.

"See, that wasn't too hard, now was it." Edward murmured into my ear.

I scowled myself, when I felt a warm rush, flow across my cheeks.

Chuckling softly, Edward hung the jacket on the back of my seat, and then proceeded to pull it out and push it back in, after I had sat.

After ordering out drinks and food, silence settled around the table.

I focused my attention on Clara, who sat between Edward and me.

"So what are your plans for tonight?" Edward asked.

I felt Jacob watching me, and seeing that I made no move at responding he answered, "We can't really go anywhere, since it'll be too cold for Clara and she'll probably fall asleep anyway, so we just planned to stay at home. Watch the ball drop on the television."

"Oh, well I've got something going on at Vampires, but you and Bella can come along. Clara could sleep upstairs in my apartment, while you guys enjoyed the party." Edward suggested.

"That does sound like a pretty-"

"Bad idea." I said, interrupting Jacob.

I don't know what Edward was thinking. Inviting us over to his place, where we'd planned on living for the start of our marriage. How did Edward see that being over at the place where we'd met and lived for a time, a successful way of trying to win me back?

He had made it very clear of his intentions so far, but I couldn't see what he was trying to achieve by inviting us over, other than making me want to cry.

"Why is it a bad idea Bella?" Edward asked me, a determined look in his eye.

I stared back at him, thinking angry thoughts, rather than happy, "I don't have to answer that. You should have a pretty good understanding of why I don't want to go and why I don't want to be around you." I cried, rising from my seat.

"Excuse me, but I have to go to the bathroom." I said, before turning away.

For the rest of lunch, I continued to make constant trips to the bathroom. Every visit would involve be leaning against the tiled wall, trying to catch my breath.

Being under Edwards constant gaze, and watching him interact in Clara and smile whenever he caught me looking at him, was having a great impact on my health. My heart has been pumping so fast, it hurt.

I was tremendously relieved at the end of lunch. I'd made it through two hours of being close to Edward, without giving in. I walked out of the restaurant very proud of myself.

"Well I enjoyed myself very much," Edward said, causing me to jump, when I'd realised he was right behind me.

"Listen Bella, I know you're doing your best at resisting, but don't. You'll eventually realise that all this effort is a waste." He said confidently, his hand resting on my cold cheek.

"I'm never going to give in." I stated, trying to convince myself that I was never going to give in even if the slightest touch from Edward made me want to take it back.

He smiled, causing my insides to turn into jelly.

"Happy New Year Bella, I really would have loved to have you over at Vampires tonight." He said, leaning in. Our lips were just about to touch, when my brain kicked in and I hurriedly turned my head.

"Hmm, we'll have to work on that." Edward murmured into my ear, "Seems you've forgotten how to kiss, Bella."

Despite the cold, I felt my face redden. "Uh, Happy New Year Edward." said before walking to the car, where Jacob waited.

Sliding into my seat, I breathed deeply.

"Well that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Turning to Jacob, I leaned over and punched him in the arm. Unfortunately I did more damage to my hand than to him.

"Gee what were you trying to go Bella? Punch me?" Jacob teased, before laughing out loud.

"Just drive." I grumbled, shifting lower in my seat, nursing my sore hand.

For the rest of the day Clara was asleep, so Jacob and I lounged about before I went over to Alice's' apartment at around 7.

She opened the door a second after I had knocked.

Being friends with Alice, for as long as I have, I could tell, even under all that carefully laid make up, she'd been crying.

"Hi Bella," she greeted, before I could say anything, "Come on in. I was planning on going around to your place later."

"Oh, well you can still come over; we will just go over later."

"Yeah sure, want something to drink?" she asked, a deliberately placed smile on her face.

I looked around her unusually clean apartment before resting my eyes on her, "Uh, no thanks Alice... Have you been crying?"

She looked shocked, then tried to cover it up with a smile, before it fell and it seemed like she couldn't be bothered to pretend anymore before she came over and hugged me.

"Oh Bella, how could I have been so stupid?" she said softly, her petit body, shaking.

"What's happened Alice?" I asked worriedly.

She didn't reply, but began to sob uncontrollably into my shoulder.

"I'm always careful," she cried, "What am I going to do? It's not the same as yours? How did I not notice?" she asked, more to herself than to me.

I just rubbed her back, and steered her towards the couch, where I gently pulled her down to sit beside me.

A while later, after the tears subsided, I asked her what was wrong.

"I don't think I'm ready to tell you Bella, or anyone for that matter. I mean, I just found out and am still trying to convince myself that it isn't a dream." She sighed.

"Oh life's a bitch." She grumbled sadly.

"Alice, are you in some kind of trouble?" I asked uncertainly. My best female friend was bawling her eyes out but didn't want to tell me why, I can't be blamed for the explanations my brain was currently imagining.

She shook her head, "Well I don't know. Some may see it as trouble or a problem, others a blessing. I don't know which side I'm on."

"Are you still not going to tell me what's going on?"

She shook her head, "I don't think I'm ready to say it out loud yet. That'll make it more real."

I sighed, "Alright then."

"Let's do something." Alice cried, a few quite moments later.

"Like what?"

Jumping up from her seat she spun around, "I don't know... anything. We have a few hours left of this year, let's do something fun and crazy." She explained.

I sat silently for a few moments, thinking on what we could do.

"Oh who cares what we do, I need to get out of this apartment." She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the door.

"Wait a sec Bella I almost forgot my coat..." she ran to her room and came back out.

"Aah let's go." She cried, grabbing my hand and we raced out of the building.

--

Two hours later, after walking around the cold streets of Seattle, I was ready to kick down a door and knock out anyone who stood in my way of a heater.

"Alice came we go back?" I asked, with chattering teeth, "It's pretty late now and I've got to get back to Clara, and Jakes probably worried."

She turned to me, "Sure Bella," sliding her hands into her pocket she smiled, "It was great to get out of that stuffy apartment. You know I think I'll move."

I shot her a surprised look, "Why do you want to move?"

She thought for a moment, "Well now that I've quit my job I don't really need to live there anymore. I mean it was a convenient distance from work and seeing as I don't work anymore, it's time for a change."

I breathed out, "Well if that's what you want..."

"It is. I've had enough of that building and its owners. I think I just have to move away from it all and start up a new life." She explained.

I turned and smiled at her, when she looked over, "Well if that's what you want, then I'm happy for you."

"Um, sorry for asking, but would it also be partly due to Jasper?" I asked hesitantly.

Alice had not spoken about Jasper for a while, which was quite strange. Sure she quit her job and doesn't see him anymore, but she was obsessed with him before he and Edward were looking to hire an assistant. Something must have happened.

I heard her sigh, "Well like I said, I want to move so I can start afresh. It's finally hit me that Jasper and I were not meant to be... but just because I keep telling myself that, doesn't mean I can automatically switch off the attraction I feel towards him. Bella I'm so hopeless. So getting away from Jasper is partly my reason for moving."

I nodded, "Those brothers sure do have it in for us."

"Ha, yeah." She agreed.

"So did Edward come around today? Wait, that was a stupid question, he always comes around. What time did he come around today?"

I frowned at the memory. "He turned up just as we were leaving for lunch." I said, as we turned a corner.

"Ha ha, I can tell by your face that he didn't just say hello and leave."

"No he didn't, Jacob told him we had an extra seat and invited him along." I said in disgust.

Alice laughed, "Oh I wish I was there. Poor you Bella, practically alone to endure all of his flirting and those eyes..."

Alice was very aware of Edwards eyes, I'd explained to her what effect they had over me, and she confessed that at first, when she'd started to work for him, one look from him made her second guess her decision to chase Jasper.

"Oh god Alice, I never told you about what happened on Christmas day did I?"

She shook her head.

I groaned, "It was a disaster. All I'm going to say is that if he stared into my eyes long enough, then asked me to marry him, I wouldn't be able to say no. He's got me under that bloody spell of his again, but don't worry, I'm not going to give in." I said.

Alice didn't say anything after that. Glancing over at her, she seemed to be deep in thought, so I kept my mouth shut. We walked until we were a couple of blocks from my place when a familiar blonde head popped out of the window of a black Mercedes.

"Oh shit." I heard Alice say.

"Quick Bella, pretend you haven't noticed him yet. Walk faster. Try to act inconspicuous." She ordered.

"Alice! Bella!" we heard Jasper cry.

Alice's pace picked up, "Pretend you didn't hear him."

I didn't reply, only concentrated on keeping up with Alice's fast pace.

"Hey!" he called.

I heard footsteps coming up fast behind us. Figuring it was pointless to try and out... walk him to my apartment, I stopped and grabbed Alice's arm to stop her.

Jasper soon reached us, slightly out of breath, "Hello Bella, Alice." He greeted, his eyes resting on Alice.

'Hmm interesting...'

"Uh, hi Jasper, happy New Year."

"Happy New Year to you too Bella, Alice." He said, his eyes still on Alice.

"Um, don't you have some type of party going on at Vampires?" I asked, trying to fill in the awkward silence.

Jasper, eyes still on Alice, nodded, "Yeah, actually I'm on my way there. Edward said he was going over to your place near midnight, which is in a couple of hours so thought I'd spend some time with him before he left." He said.

"What? Edward's coming over?" I asked, my mind freaking out.

Jasper nodded.

"So Alice what are you doing now?" he asked hesitantly.

Alice, who still hadn't looked up from her shoes shrugged, "I'm kind of enjoying life right now."

I was surprised when a relieved look came over Jaspers face.

Obviously something was up with these two, but I wasn't going to get involved, god knows I've got enough of my own problems.

"Sooo," I said, clapping my cold hands together, "Nice to see you again Jasper, but we've got to go." I saw a puff of mist appear as Alice sighed in, what I guessed, was relief.

"Hey wait, why don't I give you and Bella a ride to where ever it is you're going." Jasper said to Alice, even though it was me who'd spoken.

Alice finally looked up, but not to Jasper, to me, and I saw her panic shine through her eyes.

'What was up with Alice and Jasper.'

"It's alright Jasper, we're going to my place and it's just a couple more blocks-"

"I'm not going to let you two walk home in this weather. Please, just let me do this." Jasper asked, slightly pleading.

I didn't say anything.

"Alright." Alice finally said.

To say that the drive was awkward would be a lie. It was extremely awkward. Alice had sat in the front seat and did not uttered another word until we'd gotten into my building and Jasper she'd made sure Jasper's Mercedes had disappeared around the corner.

"Oh god Bella." She had groaned, before we went up the stairs to my apartment, where we were greeted by Clara's wails.

"God Bella, what have you two been doing?" Jacob asked, "Clara's been awake for a while now and keeps crying because you're not here."

I felt guilty at the thought that I'd made my daughter so upset.

"Oh come here Clara, mummy's back. I'm sorry I made you cry. I'll never leave you again." I said, comforting my distressed child.

Looking up I saw Alice was watching the display the mother comforting daughter with and expression I couldn't make out.

"Here, why don't you hold her Alice." I suggested.

She smiled in response, and held out her arms.

"So are we going to stay up, right until midnight, because I'm already tired?" Jacob asked.

I went over and sat beside him, "Sure are. So what can we do for the next hour?"

Jacob shrugged, "Sleep,"

"No, no sleeping."

Jacob shifted on the couch, muttering to himself, before picking up the remote. "Fine then, I'm going to watch some television."

Alice soon joined Jacob and I on the couch, Clara curled in her lap, and we watched as people, on the other side of America, celebrated.

"I've always wanted to go to New York." Alice thought aloud.

Jacob 'hmmed', too busy watching the TV.

I wasn't concentrating on what was happening. I kept glancing at the clock, watching as the big hand moved closer to the 12, wondering when Edward was going to get here.

When it was five to midnight, I wondered if I had heard wrong. Jasper had said Edward planned on coming over, so where was he?

'Bella,' my mind sang, 'you know this is wrong. Don't long for him; be happy that he is not here. Remember, you don't want him, right?'

"Bella," I woke from my thoughts and looked to see who'd called my name.

"Huh? What is it Jake?"

He pointed to the screen, "It's the count down."

Focusing on TV, I heard the crowd chanting, "7, 6, 5..."

Alice shifted on my right, "Here we go."

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I hear being called from the TV speakers and all around me. I heard people on the streets cheer, and Jacob leaned over and hugged me.

"Now get off my couch, I want to sleep." He joked in my ear.

I smiled, but I felt my stomach drop when I pulled back and looked up at Jacob.

He wasn't who I wish was hugging me.

"Bella," Alice said, holding out the sleeping form of Clara, "Aw here give her to me."

Reaching out, Alice slid Clara into my arms then wrapped her arms around me, in an awkward hug, due to Clara.

"Happy New Year Bella."

"You too Alice, hope it's a lot better than this... I mean, last year turned out to be."

Pulling away we smiled.

Then Alice had a determined look on her face.

"It's a new year, so I'm going to start it off with no secrets between us." she declared.

I nodded, curious as to what she was on about.

She smiled and leaned over and whispered into my ear, "Bella I'm going to have a baby."


Best of luck to you all for the New Year and thanks so much for all your wonderful reviews.