Author's Note – Sorry for the long delay in getting this chapter out to you. I kept rewriting the 'past' portion of the story and was just not happy until I rewrote it from Cloud's point of view. Then I felt satisfied. So the entire chapter is from Cloud's POV except the very last part.


Chapter 29

Somewhere in the Middle of Nowhere – the present

CLOUD'S POV

In the morning we gathered our things and prepared to search around the temple for some kind of opening.

"Hey, where's the boatman?" asked Barret.

We all glanced around and discovered Kohler wasn't among us.

"Maybe he went back to the boat," Tifa speculated.

I slung the strap of a rifle over my shoulder. "Forget him. Let's just move out."

We started making our way around the wall of the temple.

Tifa was walking behind me. Whenever I looked at her over my shoulder, I found her eyes on me.

"Something you wanna say to me?" I finally asked her.

She shrugged. "Nothing. I'm just not used to seeing you with a rifle. Your weapon has always been a sword."

"Yeah, last time I used one was back at the SOLDIER academy." It reminded me of the fact that my Apocalypse sword had been missing in action since the cannibals had taken us. Maybe Professor Hojo had it. "I'm not used to seeing you with a rifle either," I commented with a smile.

The sound of footsteps and the scent of uniforms hit me at the same time. I turned toward the temple wall we were walking near and looked up. More than a dozen men in tan uniforms stood near the entrance on the next level. They spotted us immediately and aimed their weapons.

Just then Captain Kohler calmly stepped out from the temple entrance. "Sorry, folks," he yelled down to us. "But I had no choice."

I frowned up at him. "What's going on, Kohler?"

"I'll tell you what's going on. You're all going to make nice and put your weapons down."

"That's not going to happen."

"We're on higher ground," he yelled down, raising his rifle. "We've got the advantage. You don't stand a chance."

Fucking son-of a bitch probably led us here on purpose to ambush us.

"You've been playing us right from the start," Tifa stated before I could. "There was no idol. You made it all up."

"Oh, don't look so sad, sweetheart," he addressed Tifa. "You think you're the only ones I've lured here for the good professor?"

The good professor? "So you're working for Hojo?" I asked.

"That's right. And he's informed me that he no longer has any use for you. So this is the end of the road." Kohler raised his rifle and started shooting.

We all hit the dirt and crawled for cover behind some large boulders while Barret aimed his gunarm and returned fire. Kohler and the guards ducked inside the temple.

I raised my rifle and fired, covering Barret while he ducked behind the boulders. Shots hit the boulders and pieces rained down on us. As I snuck a peek around the boulder I was behind, I spotted Kohler jumping down from the temple and making a run for it. No way was I losing him. "Toss me a grenade and cover me!"

Cid tossed me a grenade before he joined Vincent and Barret, blasting the temple. I scrambled out from behind the boulder and made my way closer to the temple. When I figured I was close enough to make an accurate throw, I whipped the grenade into the temple opening and dashed back behind the boulder.

Three seconds later there was an explosion and pieces of stone rained down on us. When all was quiet, I peeked out again and the temple opening was gone, completed covered by fallen debris. The men inside were either trapped or dead. "That takes care of some of our troubles. Let's move out. Our friendly neighborhood traitor hightailed it."

I ran ahead of the others as we headed back into the jungle.

I followed the path Kohler had taken. Either this guy was a complete moron or he didn't believe I could track him. He was about fifty feet ahead of me, making enough noise to wake up the dead. As I ran ahead of the others, I could clearly hear them not far behind me, making just as much noise as the idiot in front of me.

Then another sound reached my ears. Quiet footsteps running parallel to me on my left and right. I couldn't see them, but I could smell them. Apparently some of the cannibals were still alive.

Two of them suddenly appeared, one on each side of me. My hands automatically dropped to the pistols strapped to my thighs. I retrieved them and extended my arms out to either side, shooting both of the natives at the same time. The gunshots echoed loudly through the rainforest, scattering birds and monkeys in every directions.

Without missing a single beat, I continued my pursuit. Seconds later, there was a break in the trees. Up ahead, Kohler had stopped running and three natives stood in front of him. They raised their pea shooters, bent on protecting the bastard. I raised my pistols and picked each of the natives off one at a time, not stopping my forward momentum.

Kohler raised his rifle. But before he could fire, a black blur leapt on top of the man.

I skidded to a stop and watched a black leopard rip Kohler's throat out. It was Jamal.

The others came up beside me as Kohler fought to free himself from the jaws of the animal on top of him.

"Holy shit!" yelled Cid and raised his rifle.

I quickly pushed the barrel away before he could shoot. "No!"

Kohler's screams and struggles died down. The black leopard released the dead man's bloody throat and stood up.

"Is that Jamal?" Tifa asked beside me.

I didn't respond as the black leopard looked meaningfully in our direction before disappearing back into the jungle. I wondered why he wasn't sticking around.

"Friend of yours?" Cid asked as he stared at the spot where the animal had gone.

"Sort of."

Vincent crouched beside Kohler and reached down to check his pulse. "He's dead."

I felt a moment of remorse for Kohler before I remembered he had led us into a trap that could have ended with one or all of us dead. "Let's go nail Hojo."

"About fuckin' time," Barret muttered as we continued on.

Almost an hour later we were crouching near the perimeter fence surrounding Hojo's base. There wasn't a cannibal hut in sight, making me think that maybe the remaining cannibals had been left homeless.

"Are you serious?" Barret grumbled beside me. "This is it? One measly little building?"

"I doubt it." I knew Hojo. There was probably some elaborate underground laboratory right beneath us. I turned to Vincent behind me. "Think you can pick off some of those guards from a tree?"

"Easily." He crawled away. Luckily he had opted to remove his red cloak before we left the boat earlier, or it would have stood out in the greenery around us.

Minutes ticked by as we sat and watched the fenced compound. There were a number of guards strolling around and two standing near the door.

My ears picked up the sound of several muffled gunshots. The two guards standing near the door immediately went down. More quiet gunshots followed and more guards went down. Vincent was doing exactly what I had asked him to do. Soon all of the guards were down and there was no other movement.

"Let's go," I said as I quickly stood up. Since the fence was still electrified, we had to go over without touching it. I found a branch and jumped up to grab it. After moving hand over hand along the branch, I raised my legs over the barbed wire coils and pushed myself over the side.

The others soon followed the same path. The only who had the hardest time was Barret. His backside touched the electrified coils and he received a shock just as he jumped over the side.

"Motherfucker!" he spat out through clenched teeth, while rubbing his butt.

Just as we started moving toward the door after Vincent joined us, I caught another movement on the branch we had used to enter the perimeter.

When I turned, Jamal leapt off the branch. He was still in his black leopard form. I took a step toward him and he roared, conveying his message to me without uttering a word. After giving him a nod, I turned back to the others. "He's staying out here to patrol the area in case anybody else shows up."

We headed for the door. It was locked, of course. Barret kicked it in, making a lot more noise than I would have liked, but I was sure whoever was inside already knew we were coming. Our weapons were up and ready.

On the other side of the doorway were two stairways. One headed up and the other down.

I pointed to Cid, Vincent and Yuffie. "You guys take care of the upstairs. We'll take the downstairs."

After we split up into two groups, I led Tifa and Barret down four flights of stairs. There was only one door and it was at the very bottom.

I leaned forward and listened. But the door was soundproof, so I couldn't tell who or what was on the other side. A number pad on the handle hinted that the door was locked. I turned to Barret and motioned with my head as I dragged Tifa back a few steps.

Barret aimed his gunarm and blasted the door handle. Then he blasted around the hinges. Three seconds later the door slowly fell in and landed on the floor with a loud crash. And two seconds after that, the doorway was blasted with rapid gunfire.

The three of us ducked back against the wall.

I didn't get a chance to see the number we'd be facing. But I had a feeling Hojo wasn't taking any chances.


EDGE – the past

CLOUD'S POV

The grand opening of The Seventh Heaven seemed to be going well. The place was packed almost wall to wall. I didn't think Barret's plan to brew and sell homemade Corel alcohol would draw this much attention. I was wrong as usual.

Tifa was scrambling back and forth behind the bar, busy pouring drinks and handling food orders. I asked her four times if she wanted help, and she turned me down all four times, telling me to hang out with our friends and have fun. Well, what about her? Why was she doing all the work? Wasn't she entitled to have fun with our friends?

A few days before the opening, when Tifa reminded me that my job was to pick up the ingredients to make the food and the alcohol, I confessed to her that I didn't know what the ingredients she needed even looked like. She seemed surprised and almost started to laugh. But she stopped herself, probably remembering that I missed out on a lot of little things people took for granted…like learning the names of fruits and vegetables. I couldn't tell a carrot from a banana.

Later on when things started to die down alittle, I went behind the bar to join Tifa.

"Want something to drink, Cloud?" she asked.

"No, I'm fine." I took her by the arm and pulled her away from the two men sitting on the other side of the bar. "Tifa, I need a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"Would it be a big deal if someone had the privilege of eating and drinking here for free for the rest of that person's life?"

She stared blankly at me. "I don't understand. Why would you ask me such a thing?"

"It's in exchange for something…something important to me."

She knew not to ask me what that something was. If I had wanted her to know, I would have just said it. She'd eventually find out. But I couldn't tell her just yet because I knew she'd try to talk me out of it.

"I suppose…it'd be fine, Cloud."

I gave her a smile and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks." I could feel her eyes boring into the back of my head though as I stepped from behind the bar and went back to the guy I had been talking to near the door. "It's all set," I told Stan Higgins. "You'll get free meals and free drinks for as long as you live."

Higgins grinned and pointed a finger at me. "You're not plannin' to knock me off when the job's done, are ya, Strife?"

I gave him a crooked smile. "Depends on how good of a job you do."

"Right."

"So when do you think she'll be ready?"

"Give me a couple weeks."

"Great. I'll check in every couple of days to get a progress report."

"Pleasure doin' business with you and I'm looking forward to some great meals from that lovely woman behind the bar."

I placed a firm hand on his shoulder. "Don't get any ideas, Higgins. Tifa's off limits." I was joking, but serious at the same time.

Higgins backed away toward the door, his hands raised in surrender. "Yeah, yeah. I get it. Talk to ya soon."

After he left, I felt a twinge in the pit of my stomach. Guilt. Maybe I should have told Tifa what I was doing. She had her heart set on beginning a new life together. I didn't want to start it by sneaking around behind her back and not telling her what I was up to.

I made the decision to just tell her and if she got angry with me, then I'd try to convince her that my plan would only save us money in the long run. I turned toward the bar, but Tifa wasn't behind it any longer. She wasn't sitting with Yuffie and Marlene, or with Cid and Vincent. Barret was hustling the last customers away from the bar, so my guess was that it was closing time.

Maybe Tifa had gone into the kitchen.

I started making my way through the maze of tables and chairs, reminding myself that I'd straighten them out later. As I approached the kitchen, I heard voices coming through the open doorway.

"Cid asked me to marry him." I recognized Shera's voice.

"Oh, Shera, that's wonderful." Tifa sounded genuinely excited to hear the news.

I glanced over my shoulder to where Cid was sitting with Vincent. There was a thick halo of smoke around the pilot's head which didn't seem to bother Vincent.

"What about you?" I heard Shera ask.

I turned back to the doorway.

"What about me?" Tifa asked.

"I'm sure Cloud will be proposing to you soon."

Shera's statement made me freeze just outside the doorway.

"Cloud? Oh no. I doubt it."

"Why? I thought the two of you were close?"

"It's not like that between me and Cloud. We're just really good friends."

"Well, you could have fooled me."

Tifa laughed. "Besides, I could never marry someone like him. He's too messed up and too reckless. I want someone more stable."

I felt my heart constrict in my chest. She thought I was too messed up and too reckless? Since when? I backed away from the door, not wanting to hear anymore. How could Tifa say that about me to someone else? The room suddenly seemed too small and I needed air.

"Yo, Spiky, how 'bout a drink, you and me," said Barret.

"Don't feel like drinking," I replied as I headed for the front entrance.

"Hey, where you goin'?"

I didn't answer as I barged out of the door and gulped in a breath of cool night air. What else was Tifa going to tell Shera? That I was a screw up? That on occasion I'd have a meltdown whenever I thought about all the shit I had done in my life and everything I had never been able to do? That I sometimes had nightmares and woke up screaming in the middle of the night? That stuff was personal. I didn't tell any of it to anyone except Tifa.

After everything we had been through and what we meant to each other…all the intimate moments we spent throughout the quest to save the planet. It obviously meant nothing to her. I was just a friend. Is this how she wanted our relationship to go? Platonic friends?

I sat down on the edge of the sidewalk and stared at the vacant street, trying to come up with a reason why Tifa would suddenly not want to be with me any longer. Was it because I hadn't touched her or kissed her in the last month or so? Well, I had a reason. The kid was always around, always staring at me, like I was going to sprout horns or something. Marlene was a nice kid and all, but I just didn't know what to say to her or how to deal with her. And if she caught me making out with Tifa, the kid would probably freak and tell Barret.

I was going to make it up to Tifa by taking her out one night. I planned on it after the grand opening, only because she had been so busy preparing for it and a night out with me would have distracted her.

Something nagged at the back of my head. Maybe it was something else. Maybe now that the peril was over, Tifa had time to reflect back on things and thought I had used her and taken advantage of her mental weakness while we pursued Sephiroth. But hadn't I in fact done just that? Although I wouldn't have pursued her if she hadn't initiated that first kiss at the old Seventh Heaven in Sector Seven. I wanted her so bad after that, I couldn't stop myself. If she had rejected me, I didn't know what I would have done. But I coaxed and practically demanded her surrender. Right before I left for the SOLDIER academy, we promised one another we'd remain true to each other. Both of us kept our promise, but I was pretty sure she didn't believe I did. Then all the times after that, she seemed willing to satisfy whatever urges were running rampant inside me at any given time. I needed the release…and she was the only familiar, real thing around me. She never refused me, even when she thought I had gotten down and dirty with Aeris on the Round at the Gold Saucer.

I was so messed up when all that happened. I didn't care whether it was right or wrong.

Well, if Tifa convinced herself that I had taken advantage of her, then I wouldn't do it any longer. If she stopped needing me that way, I wasn't going to demand or beg…

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling my heart tighten again. Didn't she know I loved her? But hadn't that always been the case? I loved her more than she loved me. Did she tell Shera that, too?

This was it. I vowed I'd never again tell Tifa what I felt. I'd never tell anyone anything again.


EDGE – the past

CLOUD'S POV

Three weeks later I pulled up in my brand new motorcycle. The engine was loud, so I knew it would bring Tifa and Marlene running outside.

Sure enough, a minute later, Tifa cautiously opened the door before allowing Marlene to rush out.

"Cloud! Cloud! What is that?!" cried the kid.

"It's a motorcycle." I dismounted and picked her up to place her on the seat.

"Careful, Marlene," warned Tifa. "Don't touch anything." She came down the steps and stopped beside me, scanning her eyes over the machine in front of us.

I watched for some kind of reaction from her. Anger…happiness…What was she thinking?

She turned to me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well...I'm sorry I kept quiet about it."

"About what?"

"Doing what I wanted."

Tifa burst out laughing. Not exactly the reaction I had thought. "Is this what you traded someone for a lifetime of food and drink?"

"Yeah, sort of. But I made extra deliveries during the week and spent all the extra pay on some modifications." I waited for another reaction.

"You're feeling guilty about using the extra pay?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess I am."

She took my hand and turned me around to face her. "Cloud, you work hard and you deserve to get something you want. Besides, running deliveries in Barret's truck isn't very practical." She motioned toward the bike. "This will definitely allow you to go further and faster."

"That's what I was thinking, too."

The look in her eyes told me she wanted me to kiss her. No…I wouldn't initiate it, no matter how much I wanted to taste her again. I looked away, drawing her attention away from my face. "So, you like it?"

"What do you call it?"

"Fenrir."

She smiled at me. "Fenrir. That's a very noble name."


EDGE – the past

CLOUD'S POV

Two months passed without incident. With the bike I was able to delivery to places much further, which meant I was on the road a lot more and at home less and less.

One night I came home after midnight and immediately went to bed in the small cot I used in the office. I rolled over on my side, facing the wall and closed my eyes.

A sound outside the door woke me. Then I heard the door open and the sound of quiet footsteps approach my bed. I knew it was Tifa. I recognized the scent of her soap.

When she leaned over to check on me, I quickly closed my eyes. "We'll be all right, won't we?" she whispered so softly, I barely heard her. "Do you still love me?"

My eyes popped open and I turned to look up at her. "What did you just ask me?"

She seemed surprised that I was awake all of a sudden. "Do you…do you love Marlene?"

That wasn't what she had asked. But I decided not to go down that path. Instead I focused on Marlene. "Yeah. But sometimes I don't know how to approach her."

"We've all been together for some time, why is it so difficult for you?"

"Maybe being together just isn't enough."

"Maybe we aren't enough for you…"

I didn't know how to answer that. It was so obvious that we were drifting apart, yet we both ignored it.

"Sorry for asking," she finally said.

"Don't apologize. It's my problem." I turned back toward the wall and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight."

I heard her footsteps move back toward the door before she quietly closed it behind her. I grimaced at how uncomfortable it suddenly felt to be around her. The feeling was horrible. I couldn't stand it. For as long as I had known Tifa, which was practically all my life, I couldn't remember ever feeling so awkward and self-conscious around her. I wanted things to be normal again. But how could they when I knew she didn't love me. What if she found someone soon? How would I ever survive seeing her with someone else?


EDGE – the past

CLOUD'S POV

Nearly two years had passed since we moved to Edge. The Seventh Heaven was booming for Tifa and my own business, which we decided to call Strife Delivery Service, wasn't doing too bad. It kept me out a lot though and I knew it bothered Tifa and Marlene…Tifa mostly. But she never said anything so I didn't bring it up.

Tifa and I were walking eggshells around each other and I didn't know how to make it stop. There was so much tension between us that even Marlene yelled at us one time for making absurd small talk, saying we kept talking about the same things over and over.

One day, I walked in through the back door, carrying an unconscious boy. "Tifa!"

She rushed into the kitchen and gasped when she saw my burden. Then she followed me upstairs where I laid the boy on the spare twin bed in Marlene's room. She disappeared for a few minutes and returned with a bowl of water and some white rags. "Who is he?" Tifa asked as she began to tend to the black splotch on the kid's forehead.

"I think it's Denzel. He didn't really say much."

"He has Geostigma."

"I know. But I don't think he's had it for very long."

Tifa continued wiping the kid's forehead. "There are so many children out there infected with this illness." She turned to me. "And a lot of facilities set up for those who have no parents. Why did you bring him here, Cloud?"

I frowned and looked down. "He came to my place." Just as I said it, I realized my mistake and looked back up at her.

She apparently caught the blunder. "What do you mean your place?"

"I mean..." I didn't know what to say. I didn't want her to know that I had been spending a lot of days and nights at the church where Aeris grew her flowers. The flowers were still there and I took care of them. If I told Tifa, she'd get upset. I changed the subject. "Do you think we can take care of him?"

She gave me a perturbed look, probably because I didn't answer her question. "You know I wouldn't turn anyone down. I think Marlene won't mind having someone closer to her age to keep her company."

I walked toward the door. "I have to finish my deliveries." I heard her frustrated sigh before I even got to the stairs.

When I got home later that night, purposely very late, I took off my shoes and tiptoed upstairs, hoping not to run into Tifa. Instead of going straight to my room, I thought about the boy I had brought over earlier. Was he still here or did Tifa put him out on the street to spite me? I reprimanded myself for thinking such a thing. Tifa was a saint. She'd never put anyone out on the street, especially not a sick boy.

As I stopped in front of the doorway to Marlene's room, I felt a slight sting on my left arm. But I ignored it as I scanned over the beds. Marlene was in her usual bed, closer to the window. The boy, Denzel, was in the other. He seemed to be sleeping restfully.

There was a creak behind me. I closed my eyes because I knew it was Tifa.

"I didn't think you'd come home tonight," she said softly as she came to stand beside me at the door.

"I wanted to check on the boy."

"He woke up after you left and was asking about you."

"Was he?"

"His name's Denzel and his parents were killed in the Sector Seven bombing."

I blinked several times and looked down, somehow feeling responsible, since it was AVALANCHE that had provoked President Shinra to blow the pillars, sending the top plate crashing down on everyone below.

"So the problem was resolved?" she asked.

"Which problem?"

"Your problem."

"Oh..."

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me."

"I can't really explain it well..." I warned before turning to face her. Just looking at her hurt more than anything. It hurt because I knew she'd never belong to me. "The problem isn't resolved. Or rather…I never really tried to resolve it. You can't restore lost lives."

She nodded silently.

"But maybe…if I could just save one life…"

"You mean Denzel?"

"Yeah."

She nodded again before looking my way. "Do you remember what you said when you brought Denzel here this afternoon?"

"What did I say?"

"You said Denzel came to your place."

"Well..." I had hoped the subject wouldn't come up, but I had to say something now. I couldn't ignore her questions forever.

"Tell me. I'll decide whether I'm angry or not after I listen."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "Denzel collapsed in front of the church, which was Aeris's church, so I thought maybe she led him to my place." After saying all that in one breath, I looked away.

"So now it's your place?"

Pain jolted up my arm and I rubbed it with my other hand. "I wasn't planning to hide there."

"You were hiding?"

The guilt was consuming me once again. Why did I always feel so guilty when it came to Tifa? "I'm sorry."

"Cloud, I didn't say you couldn't go. But next time, let's go together."

I turned to her and the look in her eyes gave me a small measure of hope that maybe she might be rethinking her feelings for me. Maybe I still had a chance.

"Aeris didn't bring Denzel to you," she said with a smile. "She brought that child to us."

"You're right." As I gazed into her warm brown eyes, I couldn't help but smile before moving away from the door. "Goodnight, Tifa."

"Goodnight, Cloud."

I rubbed my left arm as I went into my room and closed the door behind me. The pain was becoming unbearable. What the hell…? I sat down on the side of my cot and pulled off my sweatshirt. At first I didn't see anything, but then I noticed a small black blotch on my bicep.

Oh no…


EDGE – the past

Back to TIFA'S POV

After Cloud brought Denzel, I thought maybe he had settled whatever demons lurked within him. Being so withdrawn and reclusive, I feared he had gone into mental hibernation. He hardly talked to me, much less smiled at any of us.

The smile I saw on his face the other night made me wonder if it had all been an illusion because he was suddenly gone, without a word, without a warning…

He wouldn't even answer his cellphone anymore.

Something had happened. But for the life of me I couldn't figure it out and quite honestly, I was just plain tired of trying to figure him out altogether.


Well, kiddies…I'm done with the 'past' story. I thought leaving it at the point where Cloud discovers he has Geostigma was a good place to end it. Advent Children would kick in after that, so I'm going to leave it alone.

I know everyone hates to hear this, but there's only one more chapter left in the story. As usual, stories like this tend to suck the life out of me and I'm really, really, really exhausted. I do want to start on the sequel to Break Me Down, but I haven't really decided where I want to take it. I usually don't post a story unless I have a beginning and an end already on paper, otherwise I won't finish it. Does anyone have any ideas? I'd appreciate them on a PM rather than in a review so as not to give the plot away in case I do happen to use an idea (and will gladly give you credit for it).

Ciao for now.