Moon Scars

A/N: Yea, my avi updated, so take a look at what Edward-look-a-like/Tony, looks like. I go off of the movie actors so RPattz will always be the Edward in my head.

Ch 28- Letting Go

…..

Tony didn't have time to go over anything right away; he had another meeting to get to across town, so we planned on going over everything the next day.

I left after work in a complete daze; it was a miracle that I arrived home without crashing the car. I wanted so badly to tell Vanessa about the man that I was sure had to be related to her, but then I decided that it would be best to wait until I found out some more information on him.

That evening, I went out with Angela and Jessica to celebrate Angela's promotion to editor at the company she worked for. I rarely ever went out, the club scene just wasn't my thing, but I was completely forced into it. We danced, I stepped on a lot of people's feet, and we drank until we were pleasantly buzzed, though Jessica was completely wasted.

"Hey, what's your poison?" Some guy asked me while I was at the bar to get us some more drinks.

"Oh, no thanks." I said knowing he wanted to buy me a drink.

"Oh come on sweetheart, just one drink?" He said in a desperate tone.

"Sorry, I'm married." I said and held up my left hand so he could see my ring, which has never left my finger since Edward put it on.

"Well, he doesn't have to know." The guy said.

"Uh, no." I said and was grateful that my drinks were ready so I could get away from the guy.

After we all had a couple more drinks, we all got into a cab and left for the night. When I got home, Carlie was already sleeping, and Vanessa and Jake were cuddling together watching a movie.

"Hey, how was she?" I asked them.

"An angel, like always." Vanessa said.

"Yeah right, she was horrible, screaming and running around the house like a bat out of hell." Jake contradicted her.

"Well honey, that's because you gave her a bunch of candy and that's what happens when kids are full of sugar, it's not her fault." Vanessa said to him.

I just shook my head at them. "Well thanks for babysitting. I'm off to bed." I told them and we all said good night.

I stopped in Carlie's room first, and kissed her on the head before going off to my room.

"Hey, sorry I'm so late." I told Edward as he was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and stretched out in front of him and leaning against the backboard.

"That's Ok; I know you have a life, to bad I don't." He said jokingly.

"Well if you change your mind about going to the island, we can spend all day and night together." I said while crawling on the bed next to him.

"Bella, there is no way Carlisle is going to be ok with you going out there all by yourself. And if you tell him that your imaginary husband is going too, then he'll have you committed. I've been in mental hospitals before, and trust me, you don't want to be in a place like that."

"We'll I'll just tell him that I'm stressed at work and need to get away, he'll understand that." I told him.

"No, he'll tell you to spend the day at a spa, not go to a remote island alone. Hey isn't Jasper a psychologist or something now?" He asked.

"Yeah why?"

"Maybe you should talk to him…about me."

"I'm not crazy." I said frustrated.

"I'm not saying that, I just think that maybe Jasper can help you move on. You have been doing an excellent job pretending to get past my death, but you really aren't at all. And now you think this guy at your work looks like me."

"He does look like you." I stated. "Do you know anything about him?" I asked, but already knew what he was going to say.

He looked at me with a disappointed expression on his face. "See? This is exactly what I'm talking about. I'm not real, and I'm not some ghost coming down to earth to visit you. I'm just in your imagination, and I can only know, what you know. So unless you know who this guy is yourself, then there is no way I could know anything."

"Ok, look. I'm really tired so I think I'm going to go to sleep now." I said and pulled the covers over me and rested my head on the pillow, turning away from him.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

I rolled over so I could lie on top of him. "No, I don't ever want you to leave." I said quietly, and closed my eyes.

The next day I couldn't wait to get into work for once. I was trying to figure out a way to get the questions I needed from Tony without seeming too creepy, though he probably already thinks I'm insane.

I told myself that I was only going to try to figure all this out, so Vanessa and Carlie could get to know this new member of their family, but in truth, I just had to know. Being in his presence made me feel more alive than I had since the day I graduated from high school, the day when my world fell apart. Maybe this Edward-look-a-like, just gave me hope that life can go on.

"Good morning Bella, or should I call you Mrs.…" Tony said while forgetting my last name.

"Cullen. And no, I'd actually prefer you to call me Bella. Is Tony alright for you?" I asked him.

"Yeah, definitely." He said with a crooked smile which was an exact duplicate of Edward's.

"So why don't you start out by telling me about yourself and your estate." I said to him.

"Uh, Ok. Well my father went into business with a couple other guys a few years back, and it completely took off and became very successful. But now that he's sick, the others are trying to force him out and that's why I need this firm, just in case things turn ugly real fast."

"What kind of company is it?" I asked him.

"Well it started out as a small construction company, they did mainly small projects and such, but now they have expanded and build high rises and other major jobs. It's a multi-million dollar company, and so the others involved are really hoping to have a big pay day if and when my father passes."

"And you are hoping that you get his share?" I asked.

"Well I certainly don't think that it should be divided amongst them. I left my job last year to handle my father's affairs, and I've been doing his entire share of work as well. I've even made more business deals than the other two have combined. Besides, this is my father's wish, not mine. I was happy in my job before, I didn't ask for this." He said.

"Ok, do you have any siblings?" I asked. As a paralegal, I was only able to write down what he wants and to learn exactly what he was planning on achieving from having Caius as a lawyer, so I couldn't give him a legal advice.

"Nope, I'm an only child." He said.

"And what about your mother?" I asked

"She died several years ago."

"So you weren't adopted?" I asked without really thinking it through.

He looked at me confused. "No, why would you ask that?"

Crap.

"Well, I was adopted and automatically think everyone else is too." I said, lying horribly.

"Uh, ok. Um no, I was born into a normal family…Not that it's not normal to be adopted or anything, but no, I even look like a younger version of my father."

"So what about cousins, or uncles maybe? Are you related to someone named Anthony Mason?" I asked. I knew for a fact that Lizzy was an only child, so I figured that maybe Anthony was related to Tony's dad somehow.

He chuckled a bit. "Well my name is Anthony." He said unexpectedly.

"Anthony?" I asked in shock, "I thought you said your name was Tony?"

"Tony is short for Anthony, it's my nickname." He explained. This couldn't be just a coincidence, this had to mean something.

"Well, how about the name Mason?" I asked.

He shook his head. "Sorry, I don't know anyone with that name."

"There you are." A woman said as she came into the conference room we were sitting in.

"Oh hey honey." Tony said.

Honey?

"I missed you babe." She said and leaned into him for a kiss. I don't know why, but seeing him kiss this woman made me turn my face and hide the fact that it tore a hole through my chest. I had to keep reminding myself that this guy wasn't Edward, and it wasn't Edward kissing this extremely gorgeous woman who looked like a super model.

"Uh, this is my fiancé Heidi," he told me, then looked back at her. "This is Bella Cullen, she's the paralegal that we're working with."

"Oh nice to meet you." She said politely while holding out her hand so I could shake it.

"Um, on top of all the company stuff, my father asked me to look into a prenup." He said to me.

"A prenuptial agreement?" I asked stupidly, and he looked at me like I was stupid as well.

"Uh, yeah. I really didn't want to get one, but we talked about it and agreed that if it makes the old man happy, then what difference does it make? We don't plan on ever getting a divorce anyway." He said while smiling at her and they kissed again, making my stomach churn.

"Ok, I'll draw up the papers for that too then." I told them.

We talked a little more about all the legal stuff, then somehow the conversation turned into one about their wedding plans. Damn it.

"Well I really wanted to get married on a vineyard, but then his father said that it would be too hard for him to come to something like that because he's a recovering alcoholic. So we talked about it and decided a wedding on the beach would be perfect." She said while they kept exchanging loving looks and little smiles. I absolutely hated her. Not only was she one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen with a perfect body, but she was also sweet and stupidly funny and he looked at her like the sun rose and set out of her ass. Stupid bitch.

Not Edward

This is not Edward Bella, get a hold of yourself.

But she is a stupid horribly nice beautiful bitch, though.

"So where did you two meet?" Why the hell did I just ask that question?

"In college. I was studying to become a ballerina and he was there to be a musician, and we just totally clicked." She said all doe eyed. A stupid fucking ballerina, really? Fucking bitch. Wait, did she just say musician?

"You're a musician?" I asked him.

"Uh yeah. We both went to Julliard in New York, now she dances for the American Ballet, and I was a composer until my father needed me to come back here to help him with the business."

"Do you sketch too?" I asked mechanically, feeling completely numb from what he was telling me.

They both started laughing. "He couldn't even draw a sick figure to save his life." She said while giggling.

"I'm horrible at drawing, but why do you ask?" He asked me curiously.

I shrugged and for some reason, his lack of drawing capabilities made me feel so much better.

"Well honey, I think we should get going." Heidi told him.

"Yeah we've been here for a while." He said to her.

"It was so nice meeting you Bella; we should get together sometime for drinks or something." Heidi said annoyingly sweet to me.

"Yeah sure." I told her but was really thinking 'no fucking way'.

I don't know why I hated her so much, she was actually really nice and seemed like a genuinely good person. My feelings kind of reminded me of the way Edward used to hate Jake so much, sometimes overly perfect people can just be annoying. But Jake was never perfect, and I'm sure this girl isn't either; maybe I was just having stupid possessive feelings for Tony because of how similar he looked to Edward.

The next day couldn't have come quick enough, and I was grateful that Tony came alone to our meeting.

"Is Heidi still coming?" I asked him.

"No, not today, it's just us." He said and I couldn't help but smile when he said 'us'.

Not Edward.

Not Edward.

"Ok, well let's not waste any time then." I said to him.

I had him sign tons of paperwork and I watched how he signed his name and was shocked that even the way he wrote the letters and held the pen, was just like the way Edward did it.

"So Bella, how long have you been married for?" he asked me casually.

"Uh, six years." I said quickly deciding not to mention that Edward wasn't technically alive anymore.

"So why did you think I was your husband? Do I really look that much like him?" He asked me curiously.

"Uh yeah you do, but he was adopted so I figured that maybe you were related somehow and just didn't know it."

"Your husband was adopted too?" he asked surprised. Damn it, why the hell did I tell him that I was adopted, that was so stupid of me.

"Yeah, we met at an adoption convention." I was a really, really bad liar. Maybe being a lawyer wasn't the best occupation for me after all.

"So, did you and your husband have a good laugh at the fact that you thought I was him?" he asked.

"Uh no, not exactly. He just thinks I'm crazy." I said thinking about the little disagreement that my imaginary Edward and I got into the night before.

"So how old are you anyway…if you don't mind me asking? You just look so young to have already been married for six years." He asked.

"I'll be twenty five in September." I said quickly.

"You're only twenty four and have already been married for six years?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah, we got married when we were eighteen. Long story." I said.

"Well that's cool." He said sounding unsure. "Do you have a picture?" He asked taking me by surprise.

"Why?"

"Well, I wanna see just how similar we really look." He said with a smirk as if he didn't really believe it.

"Ok" I said then went to my cubical really quick to get the picture of Edward that was on my desk.

"Here" I said and handed him the picture. It was the picture I took of him and Carlie when she was still so small, and he was holding her like she was the most amazing thing on the planet. It was still my absolute favorite picture in the world.

He studied the picture for a minute, and had a stunned expression on his face.

"Wow, you weren't kidding. He looks like he could be my younger brother or something. That's really strange. Who's baby?"

"That's our daughter Carlie." I told him.

"Oh I didn't realize that you have kids. She's beautiful." He said with a smile. "How old is she, she looks so tiny."

"She's actually turning seven in September."

"Oh, this is an old picture. Wow, you had her young huh? Is that why you got married?" he asked, and then he looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry, that's an extremely personal question for this business meeting."

"It's Ok, I don't mind." I said. "Carlie was born when we were still in high school, but we got married several months later when we were eighteen so we could help take care of his sister. She didn't have anyone else to care for her, so we got married to get custody." I told him.

He looked back at the picture of Edward, and just stared at it for a few more minutes. "Yeah, we look a lot alike. Creepy." He said slowly and handed me the picture back.

"See, I'm not crazy." I told him jokingly, and then I realized that I've really been defending my sanity a lot lately. That can't be a good thing.

"No, never thought you were." He said with a smile.

Ok that was way too similar to the conversation I just had with my Edward. The more I talked to Tony, the more I was having a hard time separating the two of them, which only made that ancient hole in my chest ache all over again.

"Hey, what time is it?" he asked me after a few moments of awkward silence.

"Uh, eleven." I said.

"I'm starving, do you want to go get an early lunch?" he asked.

"Sure, anything but deli sandwiches though." I said.

"Definitely not." He said with a grin.

We walked to the café down the street, and talked the whole time about anything and everything. Our conversation was easy and there was rarely ever any awkwardness. Even when I'd say something stupid, he just seemed to laugh it off or change the subject completely.

I even tripped once while we were walking, but somehow he managed to catch me.

"So, I'm assuming that you do this often?" He teased.

"Is my awkward clumsiness that apparent?" I asked lightly.

"Well, this isn't the first time that I've seen you stumble in the couple of days that I've known you." He smiled and completely took my breath away.

"Well sorry if I'm not a ballerina." I told him as a joke, but it may have sounded a little bitter.

"Nah, having a constant war with gravity can be very becoming."

"Really, how so?" I asked then bit my bottom lip absently.

"It's the imperfections that can sometimes make a person endearing. Who wants to be perfect all the time?" he said.

"Speaking from someone who has a perfect fiancé." I said truthfully but in a joking manner.

"Heidi isn't perfect, but I don't think anyone is."

We sat at a table in the café, and looked over the menu for a minute before Tony got a phone call.

"Oh, I'm sorry but I really have to take this. I'll be right back."

His phone call took a little longer than expected, and the waiter was getting impatient so I took a chance and just ordered for him.

After fifteen minutes, I was starting to think that he ditched me, but then he finally came back.

"Sorry about that, it was the hospital that my dad's been in."

"Is everything OK?" I asked him concerned.

He took a deep breath. "Yeah, but he just keeps having setbacks. One minute they're saying that he's running out of time, the next they say he's on the mend. It's just so frustrating. I mean, I love my father and all, but this waiting and wondering thing is just driving me insane. It's like living in limbo or something."

The waiter came and brought us our food, and Tony had a confused look on his face.

"Oh I ordered for you, I hope you don't mind." I said sheepishly.

"What is it?" he asked while looking at the plate in front of him.

"It's Chile Colorado. You never had it before?" I asked.

"No, what made you order this?" he asked amused.

"Oh, it was my husband's favorite. I'm sorry I just didn't even think about it, I guess I should have ordered you a burger. Oh my god, are you a vegetarian?"

"No, this is fine, it looks interesting." He said while picking up his fork. He tried a bite of the meat, and had an even more puzzled look on his face. "Wow, that's actually really good."

"Do you really like it?" I asked happily.

"Yeah, I think I have a new favorite." He said while taking another bite.

We finished eating and laughed practically the whole time. I haven't felt this light and careless for as long as I can remember, and I realized then that Tony was a much more easy-going person than Edward was. He had no real pain in his life, and seemed to just be an all around happy guy.

Over the next few days we got to know each other even better, and went to lunch every day. It was hard to get all the work done because we were always going off topic.

"Ok, so Caius needs to meet with their lawyers before we can have everything finalized, then you should be rid of me." I said.

"Thank god." He said with a straight face. "I mean all this legal stuff is fun and all, but hanging with you is just a drag."

"Oh really? Well I'll be glad to be rid of you too; I just dread coming to work knowing you'll be here." I said, but had a much harder time keeping a serious tone.

"Oh you know I completely dazzle you." he said cockily, and immediately my whole attitude changed.

"Actually, I'm starting to not feel very well, so I think I'm going to go home early for the day." I said and started collecting the paperwork so I could put it all away for the day.

"Bella, is everything Ok?" he asked realizing that I was upset.

"No… yes. I just need to get going, but I'll see you at the hearing." I said and practically ran out of the room.

I didn't mean to freak out like that, but it all became too much. Perhaps it was the fact that he used the word 'dazzled' and I had only ever heard Edward use that word before, and it took me off guard. But I knew my time with Tony was almost up and I still didn't get any closer to learning the truth about how he was related to Edward. But thinking back on the week I spent with him, I realized that I actually stopped asking him questions about it.

But even more importantly than figuring out the truth, I just realized that I hadn't seen Edward since I first asked him about Tony, and that was four days ago.

I started to panic and I drove home as quickly as possible. Carlie was still at daycare, and Vanessa and Jake were both still at work so I wasn't worried about anyone seeing my craziness.

"Edward?" I asked looking around the house, but I didn't see him anywhere. "Edward?" I asked again louder than before. I sat on the couch and put my hands to my head hoping that my brain would respond to my desperate pleas and bring him back, but I just couldn't find him. I started absently rocking back and forth as I sat there, trying not to lose it.

I had no idea how I managed to forget to conjure him over the past few nights, but the fact that I couldn't even picture his face in my mind, scared me to death. Every time I closed my eyes to think of Edward, all I saw was Tony. What the hell was happening to me? I never felt crazy when I was happily living in my delusions with Edward, but now that I can't find him, I felt like I was absolutely losing it.

I forced myself to hold it together, and I went to go pick up Carlie. I sleep walked my way through the rest of the evening, and finally after putting her to bed, I went to my room and completely broke down.

I didn't know how long I cried for, but instead of it releasing the pain, it only made it worse. I hadn't been away from him for more than a day or two at a time in six years, and going four days without him now without even realizing it, made me feel like I was betraying his memory.

"Bella?" I looked up, and could breathe again.

"Edward, thank god." I said and ran to him. "Where have you been?" I asked him while trying to calm myself down.

"You're asking me?" He said with a chuckle.

"I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened."

"I do. You didn't need me." He said taking me by surprise.

"What are you talking about? I always need you."

"No Bella, you're finally moving on with your life, and you don't need these delusions anymore to make it through your day." He said in a content tone.

"Edward, I really don't understand what you're saying." I said honestly.

"Bella, you're falling in love with him."

I just stared at him completely shocked.

"No Edward, I swear, I only love you. If I have any feelings for him at all, it's because he reminds me so much of you, I mean his face is…"

"Bella." He said interrupting me. "It's Ok Love. I want you to fall in love and be happy."

"I'm not in love with him." I said frustrated. "I've only known him for less than a week."

"You fell in love with me after spending only one day with me." He retorted.

I shook my head. "He has a fiancé."

"And you had Jacob when we fell in love." He argued.

"It's only because he looks like you." I said confidently.

"Bella, you didn't fall in love with me for my looks, cause if you had, you would have been like every other desperate girl at school. Besides, his personality is nothing like mine, you even thought about how different we were in that way."

"Edward." I said not knowing what else to say.

"I know you love me, and you always will, but its time." He said while nodding his head reassuringly.

"I can't just let you go." I said with tears rolling down my face.

"Yes you can. You are the strongest person I ever knew, and I believe that you can do anything. I'll always be here for you Love, but not like this. Keep me in your heart, but make room for the life that you need to be living."

"I love you so much, you're the love of my life, my entire soul." I said while putting my hand on his face, but instead of feeling his skin the way I have always been able to, I couldn't feel anything and my hand went right through him as if he was fading.

"Edward?" I said in a broken voice.

"I'm not the love of your life, because you have so much life left to love. But Bella always know this, you were the love of mine. You saved me from a life without love, and I'm at peace now because I had you. And nothing makes me happier than knowing that I can leave and be sure that you'll find love again. Please just live now, live for the both of us."

"Edward please?" I whispered.

"We never said goodbye before, so let's say it now. Goodbye my love, My Bella." He said softly.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to stable myself. I didn't want to let him go, I didn't want to live without him, but I couldn't live in limbo anymore. Edward died because he jumped in front of a bullet for me. He sacrificed his life for mine, and I wasn't even living it; I was completely wasting his sacrifice.

I knew that this Edward was just in my imagination, and the real one was in heaven, but I also knew he'd be telling me the same thing if he could. Edward always wanted what was best for me, he pushed me away back then as well because he thought he wasn't right for me. He was so wrong then, but he was right now. It was time for me to wake up.

"I'll love you forever…goodbye." I said so quietly that I could hardly hear it myself, then I opened my eyes slowly and he was gone.

*Ok, now that Bella has let go of her delusions, she can move on with her life and finally figure out who Tony really is. It's coming in the next chapter, and I hope it doesn't disappoint. I'll post it ASAP, hopefully Thursday evening. Please Review*