Day 29
Or, Day 1
Dear Sasuke's diary; because no matter what, this is a diary bastard!
There are few things I would like to write after reading you… And God was it funny! Seriously, Sasuke should make a movie out of this! I am definitely impressed by Itachi here; man, you're pure awesome!
After Sasuke so gently pushed you into my arms (oi bastard, my t-shirt is all messed up because of your stunt! You're washing it!) In that stinky toilet, I admit I was a bit confused. And hungry too, I haven't had ramen for like two hours and I didn't want to ask the bastard for those emergency rations he has (if he still has them, I saw him throwing couple at Sakura).
Seeing as how he probably wanted me to read it and give a piece of my mind, that's exactly what I'll do. After finishing my ramen, of course.
Crap, Sasuke's going to kill me for those stains! Oh well…
Sorry diary for using you like this, but it's kind of fun talking to Sasuke through you.
Bastard, you're an idiot. Not just any idiot, no. You're the biggest one I've ever known.
I've been crushing you since I was twelve years old, and you're angst-ing around because I don't love you?! I know I can come as a bit dense and oblivious form time to time, but man… You're breaking my own record.
Why the hell do you think I made you chocolates every Valentine's?! I never even uttered the word 'friendship' or 'obligatory'! Do you really think someone as great as me would bother with your emo ass for a second longer if I didn't like you like that?! You just forgot all about how I was the one to hold you and push those suicide thoughts out of your head when your pet Chidori died?! And how I was the one who organized the stupid funeral?!
I HATED THAT DOG!
And when you ended up in hospital, because you thought riding a bike 'just like Gaara' would make you cool, who was the one to sit beside your lousy bed and cry his eyes out!
I even told you I loved you, and you just brushed it off! You probably thought it was a friendship love, but hell no! Do you hear me proclaiming love to Gaara?! Or Kiba?! Or SAI?! DO YA!
I made you your own ramen bowl, for when you sleep over!
I even bought you ramen, you bastard!
How dare you think I don't love you?! Better yet, how dare you say you have a boyfriend without telling me first?! I don't care if it was me, it hurts bastard!
Don't you even think about pulling a stunt like that again, you scumbag! If I even hear about you fooling around with some other freak case, I will castrate you! We clear?
Thank you for your letters and gifts. I truly enjoyed every minute spent reading and eating them.
But, write your damn name next time! Sure, I like getting anonymous notes like every single guy- but do you have any idea how crushed I was because I thought you didn't care?! Fucking bastard…
And the next time I get all sweaty and naked around you, don't just stand there! You can jump me wheneeeever you want, bastard! What do you think this body is for; looking?!
Itachi, thank you very much for stopping that douche bag from killing himself. If it wasn't for you who knows where that idiot would be.
As a return gift, you can plan our wedding. Sasuke, being the moron he is, doesn't get any word in this. Deidara, Iruka, Kakashi and you seem to be the only sane people around here.
I have some more things to say to you, but I'm gonna save it for when you man up already and come make a proper confession.
You have an hour after I mail this diary, or else I'm gonna forget aaaall about you (I'm gonna murder you first) and turn to Sai. At least he has guts.
Sincerely,
Naruto
