Enjolras watched Eponine, laughing hysterically at Feuilly's joke. It really wasn't that funny but the way she was laughing you'd have thought Feuilly was the king of comedy. He sighed. She was just drunk. She was always a lot more giggly when she was. He glanced at his watch. It was getting late. They had to be up early-ish tomorrow. He decided he should start rounding up his inebriated friends. He was naturally volunteered as the designated driver since he rarely drank. Enjolras grimaced distastefully. He really did hate to be the only sober person in the car. "Hey, Ferre," Enjolras called to his friend, also volunteered as designated driver for his posse. "I think I need to get my people out of here. We've got to be up early." Combeferre gave him a thumbs-up and Enjolras turned to go find Joly, who was supposed to be driving the other car. "Jols," Enjolras called to his friend. "We need to get them home." Joly nodded and detached himself from Musichetta. (Those two were definitely getting along.) It took a while but they eventually herded their friends outside. There was way more confusion than necessary in loading them up into the cars. Enjolras again remembered how much he hated being one of the only sober people. He did not have the patience for this. People finally got themselves situated in Joly's car while Enjolras had to deposit a barely functioning Grantaire into the backseat of his own car. "Alright, I've got everyone else. You take Taire and Ponine," Joly called to him. He pulled out and Enjolras turned around looking for Eponine. She was nowhere to be seen. He checked back in the bar. "Ferre, did you see Eponine come back in?"
Combeferre shook his head. "But I wasn't really paying attention. I'm trying to get these guys to go." Enjolras thanked his friend and went back outside. He looked around the parking lot again and pulled out his phone to call her, praying that she had it with her. A ringing behind him and he saw that she left her phone in the car. Heaving a sigh, he walked around the building and finally saw her leaning against a low wall, staring out across the ocean.
"What are you doing out here, Ep?" he called
"Thinking," she said, looking back at him.
"About what?" he asked.
"You," she replied. The outrageously laughing girl of the bar was gone and replaced with a rather forlorn and sad looking person.
"Me?" Enjolras quirked an eyebrow. "What about me?"
"Everything about you," she said.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why?" she echoed, confusedly.
"Why are you thinking about me?" he asked. He felt kinda like he was taking advantage of her pressing her for information she would never give him under normal circumstances.
"Because I can't stop," she said, hopelessly. "Everywhere I go you're there. Everything reminds me of you. You've – you've – contaminated everything."
"Sorry," he apologized. She couldn't stop thinking about him? He tried not to let that make him too happy. But was that the truth or was she just saying things? She was pretty drunk after all. "C'mon, Ep. We gotta go home," he gestured back towards the car.
"No. Let's stay here," she said, holding a hand out to him. He indulged her, placing his hand in hers. She pulled him towards the wall. "Let's stay like this, ok?"
"We're just gonna stand here all night?" Enjolras inquired, glancing down at her.
"No," she frowned, trying to find her words. "No, let's stay like this." She gestured between them. "Like this. Even though sometimes you make it hard."
"What do you mean?"
"You're my best friend, Enj," she sighed. He didn't say anything in response. "Can we stay like this?"
"You mean you don't want me as anything but your best friend?" She nodded emphatically and almost fell over. He reached out and steadied her, a hand on her arm, the other at the small of her back.
"See this," she slurred, looking up at him. "Don't want this."
"Why?" he asked, frowning and releasing her. She straightened up.
"I can stand on my own," she said. "Don't need you anymore."
"Yeah, but maybe I need you," he muttered. He hadn't meant for her to hear it but she did.
"You need me?" she asked him, incredulously. "No. You don't need me. I always needed you. You never needed me."
"Yes I did," Enjolras protested. "I needed you. I still need you." Why was he telling her this? Well, she'd hardly remember it in the morning. And if she did….well, it was the truth. She might as well know.
"No, you don't," she said. "You're lying. You're just saying that. You never needed me. That's why you were never around."
"No. I was never around because I was an idiot and didn't understand how much I needed you," he said. She frowned and shook her head. "Yes, Eponine! I'm being serious. I always thought I knew how much you meant to me but I didn't. I didn't. I'm sorry and I will spend the rest of my life regretting letting you go." The months of pent-up frustration seemed to well up inside him. He blinked rapidly, trying to suppress the tears that threatened to fall.
"Oh," she said, sadly. She took his face in her hands, looking at him with concern. "You're crying. No. That's not like my Enjolras. My Enjolras never cried."
"Your Enjolras never had anything to cry about," he said, feeling pathetic and hating it.
"What are you crying about?"
"I don't know," he said. "Everything. Life. My life. It sucks."
"Why?" she asked.
"Because I love you but you don't love me," he said. He had turned away from her, staring angrily at the ocean, blinking away these damn tears.
"Enjolras," she said, quietly after a moment. He didn't respond. "Enjolras," she said, a little more insistently. He felt her hand on his arm. "Please don't be sad. Please don't." She stepped closer to him. He turned his head to look at her. She was very close and suddenly, he wasn't sure how, she was even closer and she was kissing him but he was kissing her back and for a moment everything was ok but then it wasn't and he pulled away quickly. "Ep," he gasped. "No, Ep." She frowned, bewilderedly.
"What's wrong?"
"I can't do this," he said. "No."
"I don't understand."
"You're drunk, Eponine. And if you were sober you would not do this. We wouldn't even be having this conversation," he said. She stared at him. "Please, Ep. I'm sorry. Let's just go. Grantaire's still in the car." She heaved a sigh and started for the car. He followed, dejectedly. He prayed she didn't remember any of this tomorrow morning.
Eponine woke up and immediately regretted doing so. She moaned and buried herself back under the covers. A few seconds later, her alarm went off. She cursed and hurried to turn it off. Who invented hangovers anyways? Why did she do this to herself? She'd always say 'never again' but then they'd go out and then she'd get drunk. It was a vicious, vicious cycle. And this was probably the worst it had been since her college days. Why had she drunk so much? She rolled over and saw a glass of water and aspirin on her bedside table. Oh, yeah. That's why she'd drunk so much. To forget how awesome Enjolras was. Because damn it, he was so great that he'd leave her water and aspirin and she just couldn't handle his awesomeness right now. She slowly sat up, downed the pain killers and water and stumbled into a standing position. A cold shower would do her good.
Later, feeling slightly better, she combed out her dripping hair, humming a song. It had been playing last night and had gotten stuck in her head. Funny that you remembered some things but other things were just this blank blur. She squinted trying to put together some sort of memory of last night. Everyone had been there. They'd all gotten along. After that things got kind of hazy and the memories less and less clear. It was all a jumble of dim lights, loud music, dancing and laughing. She strained her mind, trying to remember something. She wasn't sure what it was but something…there was something that she wanted to remember. She gave up after a while. It hurt her head too much. Her phone buzzed and she read a text from Cosette. Breakfast in my room. Eponine hurried to dress and walked down the hall to Cosette's room. She knocked and the door opened quickly.
"Hey," Cosette said, "How are you feeling?"
"Like crap," Eponine responded.
"Ditto," Cosette said, sighing. "Oh, well. It was fun. I think. And you're friends are really amazing."
"Yeah, they're pretty cool," Eponine agreed, settling herself onto the bed.
"I think I almost died of laughter when Courfeyrac was trying to get this girl's number. He has thee cheesiest pick up lines I've ever heard," Cosette said.
"I know. I have to hear the whole repertoire any time I go out with him," Eponine rolled her eyes.
"I mean I'd always heard them but I didn't know people actually used them. Do they ever work?" Cosette asked.
"They actually have a surprising rate of success although that may be due more to the girl's drunkenness and Courfeyrac's relative good looks than the pick-up lines themselves," Eponine said.
Cosette laughed and then moaned. "I don't understand how Taire can deal with this all the time," she said, holding her head. Eponine shrugged. "I think he outdid himself last night, too. Were you there when he got up on the chair? And started yelling that he was Iron Man and the bartender got pissed and told him to get down."
"I vaguely remember something like that happening. What happened after?"
"He started arguing with the bartender about how Iron Man couldn't be told what to do and just yelling all these quotes from the movies. And then Courfeyrac somehow got involved and just kept yelling at the bartender in Hulk's voice. It was probably the one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life," Cosette said. "Oh, and your friend Musichetta. She and Joly seemed to hit it off well."
"Very well, indeed," Eponine grinned. "I never thought of it before but the longer I think about it the more I can totally see them together. Like, they'd be the perfect match. Seriously. It'd be so cute," Eponine said.
"Do you think they actually will?" Cosette questioned.
"I don't know. It'd probably be long distance and Joly always said that he needed to focus only on med school," Eponine said with a shrug.
"Well, maybe he'll find he needs her more," Cosette said. A jumble of memories suddenly surged up in Eponine's mind. Something about Enjolras and there was the beach and they were talking. "What's the matter?" Cosette asked, looking concerned.
"Nothing, I was just…Something about what you said made me think of something last night but I don't know what," Eponine said, frowning.
"What I said? You mean about him needing her?"
"Yes, that," Eponine, trying to make sense of the tangled memories. They had been talking and it was serious. She thought she might have told him that she wanted to just stay friends. And they might have been arguing about something. He had been upset, she remembered that. What had they been talking about?
"Hello? What's wrong?" Cosette interrupted her thoughts.
"Oh, nothing. I was just trying to remember. I think I had a conversation with Enjolras but I don't remember what we talked about," Eponine explained.
"Do you think you said anything, y'know, personal?" Cosette asked, apprehensively.
"Probably. I do have a history of being really…truthful when I'm drunk," Eponine sighed.
"Like the one time you told me my laugh sounded like zebra's mating call," Cosette laughed. Eponine smiled. "What does a zebra mating call even sound like?"
Eponine shrugged. "Like your laugh apparently. How should I know? Don't hold me responsible to anything I say when I'm drunk." The girls laughed and continued chatting as they ate breakfast but Eponine couldn't help the uneasy feeling that she'd done something really regrettable last night.
When they finished eating, Cosette and Eponine went to find the boys, the majority of whom were still sleeping. They knocked on the room currently occupied by Feuilly, Marius and Joly. "I feel like we're back in college at their old apartment," Cosette grinned.
"I know right. It's funny that they automatically split themselves like this. Like, there wasn't even a discussion. They just did it," Eponine laughed.
"Yeah, old habits die hard I guess. Where are they?" Cosette knocked on the door again.
"C'mon, boys! Rise and shine!" Eponine yelled through the door.
There was a sound and the door next to them opened and Enjolras walked outside, his hair disheveled, morning stubble and blearily blinking. "Wake up the whole hotel, why don't you?" he said, in a sleepy morning voice that was unfairly sexy.
"Morning, Enjy," Cosette smiled at him. "How was babysitting last night?"
"You guys are worse than babies. You can just pick up a baby and put it into the car. Me and Joly had to herd you into the car. You were like sheep."
"Enjolras, shepherd of the drunk," Cosette said, dramatically. He rolled his eyes.
"I'm gonna go get breakfast. I'll see you two later." The girls waved good-bye to him. Eponine tried not to over think it but she had noticed that he hadn't addressed her directly at all and he'd barely looked her way. It was probably nothing. She was definitely just reading into this way too deeply. Cosette's insistent pounding on the door finally won and the door swung open. Joly smiled at them, sleepily.
"Morning, ladies," he mumbled. "Shall I rouse the troops?"
"Yes, please. If you don't mind," Cosette replied.
"I'll try and get them in working condition quick as I can," he replied. Cosette thanked him and the two girls went to try and wake up Grantaire and Bahorel. It took a Herculean effort to do so and there was a lot of water pouring, pillow hitting and expletives involved in the effort but they finally succeeded. As they walked down to lobby where they were supposed to meet the boys when they were finished, Eponine decided to enlist Cosette's help.
"Ok, remember how I was saying I might have had an awkward conversation with Enjolras?" Cosette nodded. "Can you like kinda watch and see if he acts weird? I think I said something to offend him. You know he can be such a drama queen about these things sometimes. Just notice if he acts a little different."
"Yeah, sure. Stalk Enjy. Got it," Cosette agreed, saluting. Eponine rolled her eyes but was thankful. There wasn't anything going on. She just needed Cosette to affirm it for her.
Later that day, at a final dress fitting, Cosette revealed the fruits of her study. "Ponine, I think you were right. I think you may have offended him. It was very subtle but I was looking for it so I noticed. He didn't talk much today. Barely looked or spoke to you which for him is a little weird. And he got annoyed more quickly at stupid things which don't usually annoy him. I don't know what it is but something's definitely wrong," Cosette said. Eponine sighed. She'd feared as much. She'd optimistically told herself she was just reading into it way too deeply but apparently she wasn't. Great, now, she had to apologize for something she didn't remember doing.
Later that afternoon, before the rehearsal dinner, Eponine decided to go find Enjolras. She found him reading on the balcony of his hotel room. "Whatcha reading?" she asked, sitting down next to him. He didn't say anything but held up the book so she could read the title. It was something she'd never heard of. "Is it good?" He nodded. "How far are you through it?"
"Halfway," he responded, shortly.
"Not in a talkative mood, are you?" she said, trying to sound teasing but really wanting to know. He just shrugged. She sat in silence and gazed out at the scenic view. She debated whether she should just try to continue this small talk thing or just jump right into it. She went with the latter. "Enj, are you mad at me?"
He looked up at her sharply. "Why would you think that?"
"I don't know. You've seemed kinda distant today and a little crabby," she said. "I just thought you might be mad at me."
"What makes you think I'm mad specifically at you?" he asked.
"So you are mad?" she asked.
"I never said that," he replied. "What makes you think I'm mad at you?" he repeated his question.
She sighed. "I vaguely recall having a conversation with you that could potentially have been offending," she explained.
"Why would it be offensive?"
"Well, I don't know but you seemed offended so I thought maybe I said something offensive to you last night," she said.
"Oh," he said. "You didn't."
"I didn't?" she brightened.
"Not really," he said.
"Oh, good. I was worried," she said, relieved. "But wait, then why are you mad?"
"I'm not mad," he said.
"Well, something's not right with you. You've been out of it all day. Tell me," she said. "If you're not mad then what is it?"
He frowned and looked out over the landscape of swaying palms, exotic flowers and the beach in the distance. "I'm….not mad," he ended, lamely.
"Yeah, I know. We established that. So what is it?"
"I'm just….I don't know. Frustrated, I guess," he sighed.
"With what? Why?" she pressed him further for information.
"Life," he said, waving his hands in an all-encompassing way.
She frowned. "What's the matter, Enj? What's going on?"
He exhaled heavily. "Things…just aren't…happening like I thought they would," he said. "Ep, did you ever have a…dream or a hope that was just so…perfect…you had to make it a reality? And you thought that you could do it, too. That you could make it real."
Eponine's frown deepened. "Yes. I suppose," she said.
"Yeah, well, I guess I've just realized that I can't do it and it's just a little…frustrating and depressing," he said. He made a little noise of disgust – whether it was directed at himself or his life or what she didn't know – and stood up from his chair and leaned against the balcony.
She stayed in her seat, looking at his profile, gazing broodingly out. His eyebrows were drawn down and his mouth was a firm line. A year ago, she probably would have gone and wrapped her arms around his waist and talked him out of his foul mood until that firm line turned back into a smile and his scowl relaxed into something more peaceful. Instead, she went and stood next to him at the balcony. He didn't turn to look at her. "Enj?" she said. His gaze flickered towards her and back out. "I'm really sorry. You've always been there to help me and I wish I could help you now. I'm sorry. I want to help but I don't know how." He made no response and she didn't know if she should just go. Just as she was making up her mind to leave, he straightened back and took one of her hands. He held it in both of his and looked down thoughtfully for a moment.
"I think you do know how to help me," he said. "If you thought about it really hard. But I don't think you're able to." He pressed a kiss to her hand, turned and strode out of the room. Eponine looked after him wishing she hadn't understood what he meant. But she had. She hadn't asked what his dream was because she knew what it was. And she knew it involved her. She was the only one who could help make his dream a reality. He knew that she couldn't. She thought that she couldn't.
A/N: Hey! Sorry this one's really long but I didn't know how to break it up without making really short chapters. Anyways, yeah, sorry if Enj is a little cheesy at the end. I don't really like how it turned out but oh wells. Drop a review if you'd like. Stay wonderful!
