Chap. 29 – Sacrifice

Then

Her arm flung up and as I soared up, my wings spread open and I flew away. Once again I gave into my instincts and a raspy screech filled the air. Another screech echoed above me and I prepared for battle. An eagle hovered, waiting for me to take the initiative. For awhile we flew side by side, finally exhausted I landed not realizing that I once again stood on the same cliff and almost stumbled to ground from the weakness in my legs, but strong arms easily caught me. As my energy drained out of my body, I once again found myself cradled in Jim's arms.

"Let's get you back, I'm not sure, but I might miss being able to fly anywhere in a heartbeat. Relax Dean, only two more trials left. Hopefully they'll be easier than the first two."


Now:

Just like Caleb, once Jim and I returned to the circle, he almost collapsed and Dad barely managed to save me from hitting the ground. I hated my helplessness, unable to move and being passed around like a rag doll. I just wanted to yell, "Get this over with already." And I guess someone heard me because soon Bobby started chanting, and the circle disappeared.

One difference, this time several men surrounded us. A few struck Dad hard on his back and knees and I fell and slightly rolled to the ground. One large brute picked me up and slung me over his shoulder. I managed to stifle my grunt when his shoulder painfully punched my stomach. I couldn't see my Dad in action but I knew without a doubt he fought with everything he possessed attempting to get the upper hand. I slightly freaked out when I heard him go silent. I had one last thought as a fog settled over my mind, I can't believe that after all of this, instead of being cured, I'm a damn prisoner once again. Worse I've trapped Dad into this nightmare.

I lost track of time, but when I regained my senses, I realized I was dressed in a dark brown ugly shorts. I had a sharp retort prepared but once I saw Dad hanging from chains with his feet barely above the ground all snarky replies left the building. Evidently, the same fashion designer had made us a matching pair of shorts.

"Dad, wake up." I struggled in vain to rush to his aid.

Nothing, not a single sound as my Dad swung by his arms. A huge goon entered and laughed.

"Leave him alone." I really wished I could smash my fist into his large bald head.

"Boy, I doubt you'll entertain me for long, but let's get the show on the road, shall we?" He clapped his hands and several servant girls entered carrying large brown wooden buckets. I wished I could say I got up and but I couldn't even wiggle my toes.

The girls maneuvered me unto my side with my back resting against a huge boulder. Then they started pouring sand over my legs and hips.

"What the hell...are you insane?"

"Keep it up and I'll put a muzzle on you. Besides deep down, you'll enjoy it. You have some deep pent-up rage about some of the things he's done over the years. You bury it instead of ever challenging him on it, but today you'll get payback and the sweet part, you won't have to lift a finger. Enjoy the show. Twenty lashes."

Dad woke up after the first strike. "NO! Stop...please. You're wrong. I don't want this. I don't."

They ignored me and I cussed them out but Dad didn't give them the satisfaction of yelling. Dad somehow managed to only let a few moans escape his lips and then he looked at me. He kept eye contact the entire time and pretended it didn't bother him in the least. At that moment, I wish I could have torn them apart with my bare hands but could only watch as my tears fell freely down my cheeks. One of the servant girls placed a thin goblet next to my cheek and collect my tears. I disregarded her actions and yelled until I was hoarse. The ugly brute came close and continued to taunt my dad.

"A sacrifice must be paid or your son will die. Is the price worth it to save your firstborn? Or would you rather I kill him now?"

Before I could even comprehend his actions, a sharp blade nicked my throat. I never felt so helpless in that exact moment. I tried to say, "Don't do it, Don't give into his demands but his arm snaked around my neck choking off any of my words and my lungs demanded air.

"You bastard, leave him alone." My dad struggled to break free but his shackles held firm as I struggled for air. In that steel voice of Dad's he yelled, "Tell me what do you want? Don't you dare harm him, or I'll swear I'll kill you."

Dad's eyes met mine and a weird type of calm settled over me, even as I struggled not to see spots and just like that the guy allowed a little bit of air into my lungs. Training took over as I raced to find some way to use it to my advantage but I had to admit I couldn't get the upper hand. His chuckle in my ear made me want to break his nose, I wish...God I wish I could move.

"Fine, if you cooperate with us, Dean will live and you won't even have to suffer that much. Just give us three of your memories. See Dean, we're not asking for much."

"Quit you're bellyaching and just do it. But if you harm my son, I promise someday I'll make you pay."

The brute laughed as he released me, "I admire your grit. It's relatively easy. I'll ask you a question and you'll just think about the answer and presto on a large screen we'll watch the memory live just before I take it from you. I'll even allow you to explain your actions if you like before I take them. But you must give them up willingly or your son dies. No talking from the peanut gallery."

"No, Dad don't do it." I manage one thought before my voice fell silent. Despite my best efforts, dad remained mute but his eyes spoke volumes ordering me to accept the consequences. I tried to reach him, beg him to not obey, but he refused further eye contact ending any opportunity to dissuade him from his reckless actions. Effectively gagged unable to express any other thoughts, so helplessly I watched.

"Fine let's begin, shall we? Think about the first time you held your first-born son. Don't hold back as it will only hurt you more. Dean will witness your thoughts and images but he will also feel your emotions. So trying to lie will only harm you and will do nothing to protect your son. Are we clear about the ground rules?"

"If you harm my son, I swear I will kill you. Now quit your yacking and let's get this show on the road."

"As you wish."

Not another sound but soon I saw images in front of me. Unlike the movies, my mom wasn't screaming or even making loud panting noises. Just inhaling deep breaths, and my Dad holding her hand.

"Hey, I know you can squeeze harder than that."

I watched my dad flinched as she must have complied but he never let on. I felt how much he loved her, how much he adored her and something else, fear. Fear of failure, as he hadn't had the best role model since his father had abandoned him as a little boy. But he also was determined to not follow in his father's footsteps. He would conquer the obstacles thrown his way and learn how to be the best dad ever. As long as he had Mary by his side, he really thought he could deliverer on his promise. I felt dad's embarrassment and pain about not being able to hide his emotions.

It overwhelmed me, the absolute joy radiating from my parents as my dad held me for the first time. His smile, totally contagious, and I just enjoyed the moment. I glanced over at my dad and he smiled at me even though the pain from being strung up had to hurt like crazy.

"Remember this Dean, when times get tough, you father loves you more than he could ever express but you have witnessed it first hand. He hasn't been the best of dad's now has he?"

The hurt on my dad's face had me screaming "you son of a bitch, Dad don't believe them, I've always known...I never needed any proof," but not a sound escaped my lips and our connection disappeared. I watched dad retreat inside of himself and his tears flowed freely down his checks. Two woman surrounded my dad and used a vial to collect his tears. Just when I thought my dad couldn't be disgraced anymore, one of the woman tugged his chin to the side and pulled his face towards her mouth. They kissed and when she walked away, my dad appeared numb. The image turned into a gas form and the animal collected it in a vial and closed it up with a cork.

"Dean, it's for the best, we don't need his current emotions contaminating his next two memories. He hasn't been harmed and he'll live without these three memories. You'll be the only one to know what he's sacrificed for you."

For a moment I got my voice back, "Why are you doing this? I don't need his memories, just let me die," How could I make this monster understand? "I'll kill you, somehow I swear I will make you pay for what you've done to him. I didn't ask for this."

"No, you didn't and my boy, you're more than welcome to attempt to follow through on your threat, but since you can't move even one finger, I doubt you'll ever make good on your threat. Let's get this show on the road shall we, I know your father needs some attention to his wounds and that can't happen until we've finished with this trial." He clapped his hands together and directed his next question at my father.

Once again I could only observed the situation. But I promised that I would retaliate somehow and I had plenty of time to figure out the perfect form of payback.

"John Winchester remember when you deliberately used little Dean as bait and forced him to wear a cast to fake having a broken leg?"

As before I saw my dad carrying me into the motel. I had a cast on my left leg but it covered my knee and part of my thigh. I think I was about six or seven years old. Dad didn't talk until he carried me inside and he carefully laid me on the bed.

"Okay squirt, remember you're supposed to be dependent and require lots of attention. This monster attack certain types of kids, the criteria ones that are over indulged and pampered way beyond normal bounds. So for the rest of this hunt, I won't treat you as if you're capable of doing much. Hence the reason for the fake cast. Expect me to pick you up and carry you a lot. Guess the plus side for having the uncomfortable job of wearing a cast, you'll get to eat your favorite meals, luckily for me you're not that expensive to spoil. So what do you want cheeseburger or pizza?

"Cheeseburger, so I can stay up really late? Can I watch a movie?"

"Maybe,"

"Sammy will be okay, right?"

"He's fine, Pastor Jim is looking after him, remember. He's probably trying to milk it for all its worth, that he's all alone and I bet Jim is spoiling him as we speak."

Dad got me a milkshake, but I didn't see him slipping something into my drink and after a short time I fell asleep on the couch sooner than normal. He placed a charm over my head and carried me to bed. He had already convinced me that I would be more comfortable in my PJ's even though I hadn't really wanted to wear them.

I remember him explaining that I needed to fit the part so new clothes were bought. But most of it wasn't something I liked. I had settled on the Star Wars PJ's over the transformers. I didn't like cartoon PJ's but he told me these kids were spoiled and his research confirmed that was the expected attire for me to wear. Once the assignment was done, I could return to my usual dress. Although he did expect me to wear some until they wore them out as he couldn't afford to shop at the mall on a regular basis. Luckily for him I didn't like those clothes much anyway.

But the hunt had lasted so much longer than expected. Instead of a day or two it turned into a few weeks. I called Sammy checking up on him but he was happy. No other victims had died so I felt that was a good sign. Although I enjoyed the special treatment, I resented being carried everywhere. I couldn't complain since it might stop the monster from choosing me as his next victim. But one emotion didn't make any sense, why did Dad feel embarrassed about the hunt?

"Tell him the truth, what secrets have you kept from him all these years?"

Dad refused to look me in the eye and nothing made sense at first.

"What you never knew, I killed that monster on the second night. You slept through the entire process and I cleaned up the evidence. I realized you were growing up and soon I would have to depend on you and coddling you wouldn't be appropriate if I wanted you to take care of Sam. But I also had forgotten how much fun it was to just be a normal father and not have to worry about keeping you safe. Of course it didn't hurt that you charmed everyone you met and I enjoyed spoiling you." My dad looked down before he continued, "Everyone liked you and you got a lot of free stuff. I had a few that thought I shouldn't baby you so much, but you endured being pampered, and I wouldn't allow you to use your crutches at all. I carried you everywhere and not once did you complain. I didn't tell you how proud of you I am. I should have, I should have said it more often."

"Why did you lie to me? You kept telling me that you hadn't gotten a hit on the monster and that I needed to play bait just a bit longer? Why, dad...why not tell me the truth?"

"Sammy hasn't been the only one to wish for a normal life." He looked away but not before I spotted his tears. I called Jim to check up on Sammy and it hit me, that things would have to change. I destroyed your shot for a normal childhood, so I convinced myself that a few weeks would make up for all the shitty things I had done to you over the years. I know I'm a terrible father."

Then he turned back and our eyes met, "I just wanted to pretend you were little and I thought you needed it too. So I lied until you started to get really miserable because you missed your brother so much. That night I once again gave you a little something so you would sleep soundly and made it appear as if I caught the monster red-handed. I woke you up and carried you one last time. I knew from here on out I would need to prepare you for the hardships to come. Luckily for me you never rebelled liked Sammy. It was so easy to get you back in line. I'm sorry Dean."

Just like before, a woman forced my dad to kiss her and the memory turned into a gas and collected into a glass vial and a cork made sure it couldn't disappear.

"Just one last memory and then, well perhaps I'll let you two leave. You can't say you haven't provided me with some mighty amusing entertainment. Although Dean, I wonder how you will handle this last little tidbit of information."

For one brief moment I regained my voice, "Dad fight him, don't surrender any more memories." My eyes met the man tormenting both of us. "I'll find a way to kill you, I will." My mixed emotions really had me in a turmoil but I couldn't let Dad be punished anymore. I needed time to process what I had discovered.

"Such passion, but will Dean continue to love you John once he knows the hidden truth. The secrets you keep, to keep him safe, but will love be enough or will you lose both sons due to all the things you have done in the name of love. What is love John? Do you really understand unconditional love and will Dean love you despite your actions?

A/N: Felt this chapter needed a break due to the length it turned out to be.


I looked up nicknames for John to call Dean when he was a tyke that he might still use later and Ace seems to be the winner.

Lil' Man, Bud, Kiddo, Ace, Tiger, Tyke, Sport, Squirt. (A list I found)

I also need a name for Caleb to call Dean and it needs to refer to the number two or twin. In searching for names the only one I liked was Deuce. Funny how often I found the name Deuce. So although I know that other authors use some of these nicknames, I finally decided I would just use what I liked unless someone has a suggestion that I like better. In trying to discover new pet names I found instead the main list used by different authors. So I'm going with the tried and true idea, I only steal from the best. I am open to ideas if you have any better nicknames. Lol.

Dean will be calling Caleb - Cab as I wanted to stick to his character of shorting a name. I think I like that better than Cal. What do you think?

Caleb's background will not match the Brotherhood's AU at all and if you haven't read them I'll say go give them a shot if you like AU's. Ridley C. James is in my favorite Author's List so you can easily find her stories if you so desire. But her template for Caleb doesn't match mine and I just want to make that clear. This is not a Brotherhood AU. Caleb's description most likely won't match the show's but I did find a picture of Jensen's friend Jason Mann's that I liked. I picture Caleb with fine hair and most likely since it will recede he might shave his head on a dare and keeps it? Not sure. Just thinking out loud.

I'm open to ideas but if I can't find one I like...I'll being using these in the story and if I continue into a series it will really come into play later. I don't have anyone to bounce the ideas around, so I thought I would ask you, the readers, for input.

You don't have to read this last part it only explains why I haven't updated in a while and I guess I'm blowing off some steam.

Sorry it's taken so long to update. I'm really depressed about my health and job issues. I know I've got it easy compared to some, but perhaps that will explain about the long breaks between posts. I'm trying to be productive but obviously I'm failing more than I'm succeeding. Still trying to finish all of my WIPS

Please review and thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you'll continue.