Tegan Chronicles
Intuition and Lies 28
Monday morning Janet came out of her office and poured her second cup of coffee. Tegan was sitting at the dinning room table sloshing her soggy cereal around in her bowl. Janet eyed the empty glass beside the bowl and then checked the sink for any Ensure residual, there wasn't any. "You've got an appointment with Dr. Tillman at fourteen hundred hours."
Tegan dropped her spoon spattering milk on the table. She looked up at Janet. "Are you serious?"
"Yes."
"Does this have to do with Saturday night?"
"No. I'm not sure why you do it, but I'm used to you and the alcohol thing." Janet really didn't know what else to call it, but she still remembered seeing Tegan standing on that cliff after Nirrti had almost tortured her to death, holding that bottle of Grey Goose. She picked her mug up. "You know as well as I do that it's mandatory after something like this."
"Something like this? You mean loosing my arm and having a brain tumor?"
The sarcasm wasn't lost on Janet. "I don't make the rules."
"No you just enforce them."
"Says the Air Force Major." Janet shook her head. "You'll start PT on Wednesday."
"Why Dr. Tillman?" Tegan made a face.
"You know she's the only psychologist currently with Stargate clearance."
Tegan thought back to the first time they'd met her. She'd been called in after they'd witnessed the death of another SG team member. General Hammond had just told them about her and Jack chuckled. "Tilly Tillman, her parents must have hated her."
Janet cleared her throat and looked at the doorway.
"And Jack O'Neill is just so..." The tall thin brunette with wan blue eyes yawned before saluting him.
"Captain." He returned the salute. "I might have to see you but I don't have to like you."
"Jack." General Hammond's tone had taken on that fatherly warning he'd perfected over the years.
Jack cut his eyes to Tegan. "What?"
Tegan just shook her head, right before Tilly recognized her. She told her she'd been to several of her lectures in DC. Tegan had just nodded politely. Lucky for her she hadn't actually seen anything when the unfortunate Lieutenant had stepped on a Goa'uld equivalent of an anti-tank spring loaded land mine and therefore was able to forgo seeing Dr. Tillman.
"Major Kiser." Dr. Tillman stood in the doorway to her office at Peterson Airbase. "Please come in."
Tegan looked at Janet.
"Go on, it's mandatory."
Tegan shook her head as she stood up. She didn't really care for Captain Tilly Tillman. It wasn't a personal thing, she just didn't like anyone who tried to get inside her head.
"Have a seat." Tilly closed the door behind her.
Tegan dropped into the proffered chair.
"The next hour is yours."
A whole hour, sixty minutes of pure torture. She grimaced; thinking of torture brought vivid flash backs of her arm being pulled into the vat of acid.
"Are you alright?" Tilly caught the expression that had flashed across Tegan's features in less than the time it took a humming bird to flap its wings once.
Tegan looked at her but didn't respond.
"Not talking about it, probably isn't going to help."
Tegan took a deep breath and looked at her watch. Three minutes down, fifty-seven to go.
"You know I've already spoken with Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter, as well as Dr. Jackson and Teal'c."
Tegan focused on a book on the self behind her. There was nothing special about it. It was hardbound in red with gold lettering on the spine.
Five minutes passed before Tilly spoke again. "Tegan?"
Tilly swiveled in her chair to look at the bookcase Tegan was glued too. She realized she wasn't even looking high enough to spot the autographed copy of one of Tegan's own medical books. "If you see something you're interested in feel free to borrow it."
Tegan blinked and when her eyes opened again they were focused on Tilly who'd turned back to face her. "If you already spoke to the rest of SG1 then you really don't need my chain of events."
"You've just gone through a series of traumatic events. Events that are going to impact your life from here on out."
Tegan looked down at her prosthetic arm that was currently as useless as a unicycle to a fish. This was exactly why she didn't want to be here. The things she didn't want to think about but were constantly staring her in the face.
"You've got to talk about it sometime." Tilly regretted the statement the millisecond it crossed her lips.
The slightest hint of a smirk on Tegan's lips, however brief, had only enforced that regret.
The rest of the hour slipped by with only the sound of the ticking clock to fill the void.
"Well." Tilly stood up. "Your hour's up. I'll see you the same time Wednesday."
"Wednesday?" Tegan followed her to the door.
"Wednesday." Tilly repeated. "Until we make some progress I've got you on the books for an hour three times a week."
Tegan rolled her eyes.
"Dr. Fraiser." Tilly swung the door open. "Same time Wednesday."
"Thanks." Janet looked at Tegan and knew without asking she hadn't opened up.
She waited until they were off base and sitting at a stop light to speak. "You know, if you don't talk about it, it's not going to get better."
Tegan wondered sarcastically how talking was going to help the pain, but she knew what Janet was getting at. "If you want to talk to her, be my guest. I have nothing to talk about."
"I've already talked to her."
Tegan wondered why Tilly hadn't included her when she listed her team members as being people she'd talked to. It was just another justification in her mind to not talk to Tilly, a reason to not trust her. "Good for you."
"What do you want for dinner?" Janet changed the subject, but wasn't really sailing into calmer waters.
"What are my choices? Let me guess, ensure with or without an NG tube."
"Whatever you want." Janet pulled into the grocery store's parking lot. "I'll pick up anything we don't already have at home."
Tegan thought for a minute. "Taco salad."
"Okay." Janet turned the car off. "You're coming in with me."
"No, I'm waiting here." Being on base with her 'new' arm, or even without it, was one thing. She wasn't ready to be in public with it.
"Your body needs to move around more than you are able to cooped up in the house." Janet suddenly realized what her hesitation was. "There are all of five cars in the lot. Everyone is in school or at work."
"I don't care about that, I just don't want to go in."
"Well you can either come in and I'll make it quick, or I'll take my time and you can sit in the freezing car."
"Fine." Tegan got out and slammed the door.
Tegan wandered down the candy isle after they picked up salsa, fresh Mexican cheese, cilantro, and chorizo. Janet followed behind her. Tegan picked up a bag of Tootsie roll pops, a bag of york peppermint patties, and gourmet peanut butter cups, dropping each one into the hand basket Janet was carrying.
Janet raised an eyebrow. "You're going to eat that stuff?"
"If I don't you and Cassie will." When she got in the car she pulled out a grape Tootsie roll pop and sucked on it until they got home where she threw the rest of it in the trash.
