Daryl and Carol try to understand Ellie's actions of 27 years ago.


Forgiveness

"To forgive is an act of compassion...it's not done because people deserve it; it's done because they need it." -Rupert Giles, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

"There just has to be a little forgiveness, that's all." –Daryl Dixon: TWD, S3, "This Sorrowful Life"


The door opened in and a petite woman of about sixty, with quick green eyes and long pinned up strawberry blonde hair just starting to go gray smiled at them nervously. She couldn't take her eyes off of Daryl, drinking him in thirstily, noting every feature with wonder, her hand going to her mouth as she let out a little helpless cry.

Daryl shook his head back and forth, his vision blurring with tears.

"Mom?"

"Daryl...you're...you're so tall!" Eleanor Dixon blurted. It was clear the woman wanted to grab up Daryl and hold him, but she restrained her impulse, settling instead for reaching out her other hand to take his.

Daryl stared down at it and then quickly grasped it, holding it too tightly and making her gasp. He released it quickly, embarrassed and looked helplessly at Carol.

"And this is your Carol." Ellie said, wiping at her eyes before she held out her hand again to the other woman. "I'm so pleased to meet you."

Carol was more reserved. She politely but briefly shook Ellie's hand, little trace of warmth in her expression.

When the man who'd contacted them the night before had explained that Daryl's mother was alive and wanted to see him, Carol had been suspicious and protective. Long lost relative cons were a dime a dozen, especially when you had been in the public eye. The trials of Blake and Tom Dixon had been big news for the last six months, with her and Daryl as key witnesses.

And as far as Carol had been concerned if the woman really was who she claimed to be she had a lot of explaining to do.

Daryl's reaction had told her that this was his mother, but that he was hurt and confused, trying to understand how she could've been alive all this time and never tried to contact him before now.

"Would you come in, please?" Ellie asked hopefully, as if even at this point Daryl might decide to just turn back around and walk away.

Daryl's right hand went to his chin, rubbing at his whiskers there in a self comforting gesture and his tongue swept out to wet his lips, hesitating, not trusting himself to speak.

"Please son?" Ellie asked, her mouth trembling. "I know this is a shock, but please give me a chance to explain?"

Daryl looked at Carol's carefully calm expression until she gave him a little nod—she wanted answers as much as he did—and then he turned and gave the same little nod to Ellie.

They followed her into a small parlor area. A tall antique looking wooden bird cage in the corner was home to several small bright birds—finches—who whistled out a greeting. A tortoise shell cat was curled up with a sable black one in a pillow lined basket near the window and a large mostly German shepherd mix raised its head briefly to note their entrance and then relaxed back down onto the floor when Ellie said something to it in what sounded like German.

The sunny room had white washed walls on which were displayed a variety of beautiful paintings of various sizes in a realistic but slightly Impressionistic style, many of them portraits, but some florals and seascapes as well. Carol looked at the signature, a stylized "AF," and then up at Ellie.

"Amanda Ferris. That was the new name they gave me—all of the ID they provided, drivers license, birth certificate, social security card, everything." Ellie explained, leading them to a wicker love seat, where they sat while she took the chair opposite, "I was in Massachusetts first, Texas, California, North Carolina—then five years ago they finally let me come back to Georgia...I missed home..."

"You missed the state?" Daryl asked, dryly snorting in derision.

Ellie's face fell and silent tears started to pool in her eyes. Shaking her head at him in sorrow, she took a few deep breaths.

The big dog raised its head again, regarding his mistress and seeing her distress, stood and came over to sit by her chair, resting his head on her knee. She began absently stroking its head trying to calm herself so she could continue.

"Of course I missed you and Merle, Daryl... but I had to go—it was all arranged—they promised me you were safe, with Travis and Sarah and Rick...I didn't find out until later...that Tom...that Tom didn't let you go with them." Ellie said.

"It's been twenty seven years—you had all that time to find him, to find both of your sons—why did you stay away?" Carol asked, her brow creased in righteous anger.

"Wait here—please?" Ellie asked, "I have to—I'll be right back, please?" and then she stood and went to the back door and onto a porch deck at the top of the stairs that led down to the beach. The dog padded after her.

Carol and Daryl exchanged a puzzled look, unsure of what was happening. A few minutes later Ellie returned, carrying a photo album. She sat back down, as did the dog, this time staring at Daryl.

Ellie opened the album to the back, showing them a picture of her standing next to a woman in her twenties, wearing casual beach wear, a white linen blouse and cropped khaki shorts.

"Daryl, this is Callie, your half-sister."

"Sister?" Daryl said very softly, staring down at the photograph on the page, disbelief giving way to a wary confusion. The younger woman in the photo had hair a darker shade of red than Ellie's, but her eyes were the same green. Her pointed chin and high cheek bones gave her face the same foxy aspect as Daryl's and her familiar half smile showed a dimple in her cheek.

"Half?" Carol asked and then looked around the room. Several of the paintings were in fact portraits of the same young woman, from childhood to adulthood, many of them also included the cats and dog as well as other animals, such as a rabbit and a hedgehog.

"Tom is her father. I was pregnant when I left. He...he asserted his right to the marriage bed that summer..." Ellie said, and old pain shadowed her face.

Daryl remembered a night he had been sent to the Grimes for the night, happy to have a sleep over with Rick but then being racked with guilt coming home to find her bruised and bleeding on the bathroom floor the next day, his father gone. He tried to wrap his head around the fact that the result of that had been another child...

"Maybe he resented me making friends with Sarah—he'd always hated Travis—maybe he suspected what your father and I had once meant to one another; I don't know. For whatever reason he wanted me again..." Ellie's lips twisted into a grimace, "...even though I didn't want him."

"He forced you." Carol said with understanding. Marital rape was insidious; hard to prosecute even in today's more enlightened era.

"He said he'd kill me—kill Daryl if I ever told anyone. He's a violent man. I believed him." Ellie said stoically, but then her look turned warmer, "But I loved my baby. You have to know how that feels!" she said, looking at Carol's bump.

"It's why I couldn't go back...if he knew I was alive and had his child he would've never stopped looking." Ellie said tearfully, "I didn't want to leave you, Daryl, but I believed Travis and Sarah would be better for you. I wanted you to be with your father...and Rick and Sarah loved you like their own too. I made the best decision I could with what I knew."

"You left the safe deposit box, the letters, and the paternity results." Daryl said. "You wanted me to know who I really was."

"When you were eighteen—out of any chance of Tom's control—then I thought you'd use the money. The bank would send an alert to the people who helped me get away when it was accessed so I could decide whether or not I would try to contact you. But you never did; I thought you couldn't forgive me for leaving you."

"Merle never told me about the box." Daryl shook his head, "I just found out about it six months ago."

"I realize that now. When everything that happened in Senoia –with Tom and that monster Phillip Blake—I saw it on the news, in the papers." Ellie said, growing more upset, "I was so afraid for you and the Grimes...then with Tom's trial and conviction...And then they contacted me and said the account had been active, that you'd started withdrawing the money I'd left you. I hoped that meant you'd changed your mind."

"I thought he killed you." Daryl said hollowly, "When I read the letter you left I thought he'd found out about you and Travis and killed you for it; for having me... thought that was why he punished me my whole life... instead of why he said..."

"Punished you? By not letting you go live with the Grimes?" Ellie looked lost and apologetic, but not as devastated as she should be as far as Carol was concerned.

"He brutalized Daryl!" Carol said hotly, "Regularly beat him; almost killed him the night of his high school graduation—was still abusing him when I met him last year! And Daryl took it because he blamed himself for your death!"

"Carol stop." Daryl said, talking her hand, his face flushed with emotion.

"What?" Ellie said, whisper soft, and the quiet horror and terrible pain reflected in in her eyes as she stared at Daryl started to convince the other woman that perhaps Ellie hadn't known the results of her leaving him behind. She raised her hand to her mouth and looked over at her son, who wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Tom thought Daryl could've stopped the fire, should've been there to save you that night instead of going to Rick's." Carol explained, when it was clear Daryl wouldn't or couldn't speak. "But you weren't even in the house, were you?" She asked Ellie pointedly.

Ellie shook her head back in forth.

"They made sure Daryl was out of the house before..."Ellie said slowly. She had been adamant about that; that Daryl had to be safely away and with the Grimes before the fire was set. They would be his family from then on, but she hoped maybe someday he'd come to accept what she had done.

"Tom blamed him for not being there; used it as his excuse for running both his and Merle's lives—his motherless boys—and let Daryl's guilt eat him up inside." Carol said with quiet forcefulness, "While you forgot about him and let everyone think you were dead and got your chance to start over, Daryl paid for what you did...every day."

"My sweet boy...oh god..." Ellie sobbed. "I didn't know. They never told me—you have to believe me—I never forgot about you!" and then she abruptly got up and ran out of the room.

Daryl looked at Carol, distressed, unsure if he should go after his mother, but the dog stood, silent guard in front of them, barring their way.

Then she was back, carrying several canvases wrapped in drop cloth sheets piled on one another. Working quickly she set them up all around the perimeter of the room.

"I never forgot about you." she said again fiercely.

The first painting was Merle as a teenager, bare chested with a farmer tan, his head shaved, and his blue eyed sunburned face split in a big grin as he looked down at the chubby cheeked baby he held in his arms: Daryl.

The second was a version of the picture of Rick and Daryl on the Dixon's porch after their adventure in the cave, but with the addition of Ellie, taking the picture, fully reflected in the porch window behind them.

The third was half based on the clipping Carol had seen from the Atlanta paper announcing Daryl's state archery championship, but was just him, his bow and the trophy in high light on a deeply shadowed background, his somewhat surly expression, jutting chin and slight squint captured perfectly. On the other side of the canvas was Merle in his dress uniform in the same style, the highlights bouncing off the spit shined shoes and chrome of his buckles.

The last was unfinished, the figures sketched in but only the faces painted. It must've been inspired by images from the various news sources covering the trial. It was a portrait of Carol and Daryl, their heads slightly turned, looking at each other lovingly with serene barely there smiles and liquid eyes. A smug looking Merle and a happy Travis and Sarah could be seen in the background along with Rick and Shane in their uniforms.

"I couldn't have them out here—they had to stay locked away, stacked in my studio so no one else would see them, but I wanted them to hang here, I wanted to show all my children to the world, show how proud I am of them. But I had to be Amanda Ferris—and she only had a daughter." Ellie said brokenly.

"Does she know?" Daryl asked quietly, standing so he could go closer, staring at the paintings, coming to a stop in front of one of Callie hanging over the first one of he and Merle, "'Bout me n' Merle?"

Carol stood and came up beside him.

"She knows she has two brothers." Ellie said, pulling one final small canvas out from behind the last painting. Merle and Daryl were pictured at the ages they had been when she'd left, and were sitting on a porch swing next to one another looking down at the small baby with carrot red fluffed hair Daryl was cradling in his arms.

"Where is she?" Daryl asked softly, finding the created image of the three of them oddly moving. The idea that he seemed to keep acquiring more siblings every time he turned around made him grunt out a sigh. He looked at one of the later paintings of her, all grown up, and saw the family resemblance even more strongly.

"She's at North Carolina State." Ellie told him with pride, watching his face closely, "Second year in the doctor of veterinary medicine program." She petted the big Shepherd's head again. "She always had to have her animals—where ever we went."

"No shit?" Daryl choked out, glancing at Carol, who smiled, nonplussed at the coincidence and then he swung his gaze back to his mother.

"You're so much alike—at least what I knew of you—sweet and stubborn and so strong in your convictions..." Ellie said, smiling sadly, "I wish things had been different; that you could've grown up together."

"Can I...can we meet her?" Daryl asked, sounding unsure.

"Really? You want to?" Ellie asked, equally unsure. "She's the reason I left you—you don't resent her for that?"

"You did what you had to...to protect her—I get that—she's family...you're family too." Daryl said, echoing what he'd told Rick. "Don't rightly know what you coulda done different back then knowing what you did about Tom. She got to grow up safe and away from the bastard."

"And you didn't..." Ellie said painfully. "I am so sorry Daryl—I know words are useless paltry things, but I have to try...I would've rather died than to have you suffer like that..."

"Don't say that..." Daryl said, his voice dropping down to soft gravel. "...havin' you back? It's like a miracle to me...like ...like it can't even be real..."

Ellie stared at him and then she reached out a tentative hand, brushing his shoulder with her fingers.

"I'm sorry...so sorry..." Ellie said again, and kept repeating it softly as she gripped the sleeve of his shirt and he gave in to the need to let her pull him close and fold her arms around him comfortingly.

"It's okay...I forgive you." Daryl said softly, returning the embrace, holding her close, his voice breaking, "Momma..."


Christmas Eve

"It is SO not the same!" Daryl argued, rolling his eyes at his sister, and then he bounced baby Judith a little when she fussed at his tone of voice until she calmed down and nestled back in to his neck.

"It is too—tell him Rick!" the young woman argued back.

"I am not gettin' in the middle of this." Rick said with a wary grin.

"Callie Jo—" Ellie warned.

"How many foals have you helped deliver?" Callie asked Rick, trying to prove her point that Daryl could deliver his and Carol's child if he had to, "And you were there when both of your kids were born, right?"

"Are you asking me to compare my lovely wife to a mare?" Rick said, his eyebrows practically rising off his forehead.

"Do not let Lori hear you say that." Shane admonished, plunking himself down next to Callie and handing her a beer.

Callie made a face at all of them and then snuggled in closer to Merle, who was sitting on her other side.

"Come on, big bro number one—back me up here."Callie said.

"I have not ever delivered no child and have no plans to do so in the present nor future to come." Merle drawled, but couldn't hide the grin of pleasure that having her call him 'brother' had given him.

It was their first family get-together with everyone present here at the Grimes farm. Both Daryl and Callie were on Christmas break from school for a few weeks and so had time to come to Senoia for the holidays. Merle had made the trip to the Georgia coast see Ellie the week after Daryl and Carol had been there and Sarah and Travis had driven their motor home there two weeks later and stayed for a month, overjoyed to reestablish their friendships. Daryl, Carol and Merle had an emotional Thanksgiving with Ellie, meeting Callie for the first time in Savannah.

The Christmas Eve gathering at the Grimes farm was family tradition and this year had been expanded to include as many friends as family. The ordeal with Blake had drawn them closer with friends like the Greenes, Andrea and T-Dog, and cemented new relationships, including Glenn and Michonne. The law enforcement agencies involved had also brought new friends into the circle, including Sasha and her brother Tyreese, who was now dating Tom Dixon's second ex-wife, Karen, of all people.

"Where's Hershel?—he'll say what's what. He's got to have delivered some people type babies; he's as old as the hills." Shane teased. Callie elbowed him hard, but he just laughed at her indulgently.

Sitting on the couch across from them next to Ellie, Carol smiled at their obvious attraction. Since they'd met this morning Shane and Callie had hardly been more than ten feet away from one another all day.

At the mention of Hershel's name, Ellie blushed slightly, making Carol exchange a look with Daryl, who was standing with Rick behind the other couch where Merle, Shane and Callie sat. Daryl's mother and the widowed Greene family patriarch had renewed their acquaintance today as well and there had been definite sparks between the two.

Daryl smiled back at her, locking eyes in a look of happy contentment.

"Daryl could do it if he had to. I trust him." Carol said confidently, shutting down the debate, putting both hands over her due any day belly.

"You better marry that woman, brother." Rick said, gesturing at Carol.

"A-men." Merle chimed in with a grunt, eying Carol warily. "Before she pops."

"Actually I think that's a pretty damn good idea." Daryl said, handing Judith off to Rick and coming around the back of the couch to stand in front of Carol. "You ready to get married, sweetheart?"

"Ready." Carol said, reaching her hands up to him.

"You serious with this? You running off and elopin' on Christmas Eve?" Merle asked skeptically.

"Somthin' like that." Daryl said, helping Carol to stand. She pulled off her knee length cardigan, revealing a beautiful angora shrug and lace winter white dress underneath and Daryl grabbed his suit jacket off of the chair next to the couch and pulled it on over his shirt and vest.

"Hey T? We're ready!" Daryl called and T-Dog and Jacqui came in from the kitchen with huge smiles on their faces, followed by a smug looking Sarah and Lori carrying flowers. Jacqui sat at the piano in the corner of the room and T stood in front of it while Sarah brought Carol her bouquet of seasonal pine, holly and poinsettias, with one Cherokee Rose at the center, in remembrance of Sophia.

"If I could have everyone's attention?" Daryl said, raising his voice loud enough to draw everyone into the living room. "Warden Williams?"He looked over at Tyreese and the big man came and stood in front of the big stone fireplace at the end of the room.

"I also happen to be a Justice of the Peace, which means I will be the officiant for the marriage of these two lovely people." Tyreese smiled. "So let's get this room rearranged, shall we?"

Couches were quickly moved and more chairs brought in so everyone could have a seat. Rick passed Judith to Carl, who very carefully held her, beaming to be trusted to care for his little sister.

While this was going on, Daryl took both Rick and Merle aside and handed them the wild white rose buttoneers Lori had brought him. No words were needed; they understood, nodded and put them on. Carol handed one of the two smaller bouquets to Callie and Lori had the other, making the wedding party complete.

Daryl made sure that Sarah, Ellie and Hershel had front row seats on the comfortable couch and then the bride and her attendants went out into the foyer and the groom and his brothers stood in front of the big stone fireplace. At a signal from Tyreese, Jacqui began to play and T-Dog to sing.

"Mama told me when I was young
Come sit beside me, my only son
and listen closely to what I say.
And if you do this
It will help you some sunny day.
Take your time... Don't live too fast,
Troubles will come and they will pass."

Callie came in first, walking slowly down the make shift center aisle, catching Shane's eye and smiling shyly. Next came Lori, smiling broadly and crying at the same time, wiping at her eyes with the handkerchief Rick handed her when she got to the front.

"Go find a woman and you'll find love,
And don't forget son,
There is someone up above."

Then Carol appeared from the foyer hallway being escorted by Travis. There had been no thought of inviting her parents, who had not seen fit to contact her even after the truth of who and what their son-in-law Ed Pelletier had been was revealed. Just as he had been to Daryl, Travis was more of a father figure to Carol than her own had ever been.

The guests stood. Karen was beside Sasha, standing next to Maggie, who was leaning on Glenn, Beth was holding hands with Jimmy, and Amy was next to Andrea and Michonne, who stood arm in arm beside Dale and Irma.

"And be a simple kind of man.
Be something you love and understand.
Be a simple kind of man.
Won't you do this for me son,
If you can?

Boy, don't you worry.
You'll find yourself.
Follow your heart,
and nothing else.
You can do this,
if you try.
All that I want for you my son
is to be satisfied.

When they reached the front of the room, Travis kissed Carol on the cheek and handed her over to Daryl, who almost jumped the gun and kissed her too until Merle cleared his throat loudly, making everyone chuckle.

"Carol, Daryl, would you stand and face one another please?" Tyreese asked when T and Jacqui finished the song, the first one that the bride and groom had ever danced to together.

Carol handed her bouquet to Lori and joined hands with Daryl.

"Troubles will come and they will pass—that's what the song just done so wonderfully by Theodore and Jacqui told us," Tyreese began, "Never before have I known a couple who has gone through so much to be together. They have survived and their love has endured challenges that would have made lesser folks abandon hope, including a short stint as my guest and my plumber in West Georgia for the groom."

Daryl gave a little grunt of a chuckle at that reminder of how they'd met, thinking of how far they'd come. Life turned on a dime, or in this case, a house call for a plugged up tub drain...

"That said, I don't think I've ever seen two people more in love or more meant to be together." Ty smiled benevolently. "So let's get down to it. Daryl please repeat after me: I, Daryl Eugene Grimes, take Carolina Rose Mason to be my lawful wedded wife."

They had talked a lot about it—whether Daryl should change his name. Carol had gone back to Mason as soon as she could, wanting to be rid of Ed's name, but Daryl didn't want Merle to think changing it from Dixon had anything to do with him. Merle had understood though. Daryl was a Grimes; he should be able to claim that birthright. Travis and Sarah had been touched and Ellie was happy to finally see Daryl have what she had wanted for him all along—the simple satisfaction of a loving family.

Epilogue:

Travis Richard Grimes was born on New Year's Eve, weighing a whopping nine pounds, six ounces. His father was present for the birth, which did in fact happen in a hospital despite the fact that an unusual snow front had settled over Georgia between that day and Christmas. He was welcomed by his aunts and uncles, cousins, grandparents and their friends into the same loving extended family that had stood by Daryl and offered him and Carol a safe haven from their troubles. They knew that no matter what else life might throw at them they could handle it, together.


Well, we've come to the end of the line for this one! I've really enjoyed exploring this AU. It started as a one shot prompt from a RL event MMB experienced and grew into a bit of a mystery romance. Thank you to everyone who stuck around for the ride.

DD1