All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, no copyright infringement intended.
Chapter 28
"Bella...I,"
I cut him off, "It's too late for words, Edward, I'm sorry." I choked back a sob as I turned to flee the room.
I was shocked to find both Carlisle and Esme standing in the doorway looking aghast. Emmett was behind them with the same mortified look on his face. Just how much had they seen and heard of our now public altercation?
"I'm so sorry," I told them as I wiped away a tear. None of them knew how to react. All I know is that one of them placed a reassuring pat on my shoulder as I walked past, closing the office door behind me.
I walked back to my office and quickly placed all of my photographs and personal possessions into a box and made my way out, quickly hugging Vicky. I promised that I would be in touch very soon. She wasn't aware of exactly what had just happened in Edward's office, but I think she got the idea. After all, I must have been loud enough to get the attention of Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett. Thankfully, she was very tactful and didn't ask any questions. She promised me that she would pass a message on to Irena saying that I would be in touch and with that I walked away from Cullen International.
I needed air and to clear my head, so rather than flagging down a cab I took a walk to the park and sat people watching on my favorite bench. The realization of what I had just said and done hit me like a ton of bricks. How the hell could I have blown a fuse that way? I know that Edward had riled me up by mentioning my raising of Josh and child support, which was a sore subject to start with due to the way that he had humiliated me with the check when he first found out. But thinking back to earlier, he wasn't even being nasty with me... He was so happy that it had been confirmed that he was Josh's father, and all he wanted to do was to discuss where we went from there.
I groaned when I thought back over the things that I had just said and done. Edward hadn't really done anything to deserve all that I had just thrown at him in this instance. Where had it all come from? Oh. My. God. I even called him nothing but a sperm donor... How could I? I was such a bitch!
I didn't mean those words. I needed to man up and apologize, but something told me that it wouldn't be appreciated. Everything had just spiralled out of control, and now here I sat having just hammered the final nail into the coffin of mine and Edward's relationship. To make matters worse, I had no job to go back to either. What the hell had I done?
I sat for what felt like an infinite amount of time, lost in my own thoughts as people milled by, several gave me curious glances and two people actually stopped and asked whether or not I was okay. I merely dismissed their concern with a nod of the head and sent them on their way, leaving me to wipe away my tears and pull myself together. It was only when I decided that enough was enough and that I needed to go home, did I realize that not only had I left my purse complete with cash in Edward's office, but I had also left my cell and apartment keys in there too. Glancing at my watch, I knew that even if I walked home, Leah would be taking Josh to playgroup so she wouldn't be around to let me in.
I weighed my options and decided that the only thing I could do would be to go to see Rose. Her garage wasn't too far away, and I could walk it in around twenty minutes. She'd know what to do!
I picked up my box of possessions and set off preparing myself for a lecture of how I let the mask slip and what a damn idiot I was for quitting my job without having another one lined up. All things that I already knew.
I walked a little faster wrapping my coat around me as the wind picked up and it started to spot with rain. At least I knew that Rose would give me a ride home. I wonder if she'd take me to Alice? At this moment in time I had never been so grateful for the annoying little pixie having an emergency key.
I arrived at 'You Bend em, I Mend em' half frozen. One of the mechanics was busy in the yard and he pointed me towards the workshop when I asked where I could find Rose. True to form she was dressed in blue overalls and was bent head first inside the hood of a 2007 Toyota Camry.
I shuffled my feet loudly not wanting to startle her, "Rose" I called. She looked up and saw me standing there no doubt looking like a lost puppy, either that or a homeless person complete with cardboard box.
"Bella, where the hell have you been? Everyone's worried sick about you."
"Eh!" was my only and intelligent response.
"Emmett phoned ages ago, said that you had blown a gasket at Edward, quit your job, and walked out."
"Well, that part's right," I told her in embarrassment while looking down at my feet.
She stood glaring at me, not that I could see because I couldn't, my eyes were still firmly fixed on looking at my shoes. I could feel her glare, and when I looked up, I was right. She stood tall with her hair wrapped in a bun on the top of her head, left hand on her hip, and a wrench grasped firmly in the right.
"You know people have been out looking for you?"
"Why?"
She let out an exasperated sigh, "You don't get it, do you? People are worried about you, including Edward. You walked out in a state, leaving everything behind...well, almost everything!" she indicated towards the cardboard box. "Come on, let's go into the office. I'll make a coffee and phone Emmett to let him know that you're alive." She shook her head and walked off.
I followed like a good little puppy. I couldn't believe that people had been looking for me. How embarrassing! I knew that I owed several people a strong apology, namely Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, and especially Edward, but It never crossed my mind that some of them would have been concerned enough to go look for me.
"She's here. Yes, she's fine. I'm just going to talk to her now." I looked up to find Rose with the phone pressed to her ear as she stirred two steaming hot mugs of coffee. She was obviously talking to Emmett. "About ten minutes ago; no, Emmett, I don't know shit yet. I'll talk to you later. Yes, you can call off the search party," she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "Okay, I'll speak to you soon. Yes, I know, love you too, bye." She hung up the phone and handed me one of the mugs.
"I didn't mean to cause any trouble," I told her as I wrapped both hands around the mug trying to get them warm.
Rose flopped down in the chair behind her desk.
"You don't do anything by half's, do you, Swan?" she sniggered to herself underneath her breath. "So, what happened?"
"I honestly have no idea," I said solemnly.
The phone rang and Rose answered it. "You bend 'em I mend 'em, Rose speaking."
"Yes, she's fine." It's Alice, Rose mouthed to me. "Okay," she said. "We'll see you in ten," as she hung up the phone. "That was Alice. She's on her way."
I groaned, "How the hell did Alice know about this?"
"When Emmett phoned me, I phoned Alice. She's been out looking for you. Emmett must have let her know that you're here."
I couldn't believe that I had caused everyone so much trouble. I'm such an idiot.
"Yes, you are," Rose grinned.
"I said that out loud, didn't I?"
"Yup."
I shook my head letting my lips curl into a small smile as I took a sip from my still steaming mug. True to her word, just ten minutes later, Alice arrived looking extremely pissed off.
"Where the hell have you been?" she asked as she burst through the office door and stood menacingly with her hands on her hips. Rose sniggered, I looked suitably chastised.
"I was at the park, Alice. Don't bother about making me feel bad, I feel awful enough as it is!"
Her demeanour suddenly relaxed, and without warning she threw her arms around me. "I'm so glad you're safe," she sniffed.
"Me too," I said hugging her back. She let go and pulled up a chair to sit next to me, while Rose made her a coffee. "How is everyone?" I asked tentatively.
"Well, Emmett was going out of his mind," she laughed. Rose glared at her which Alice chose to ignore.
"What happened, Bella? After Rose phoned to tell me, I phoned Emmett. He said he was going out looking for you. He'd phoned Leah, and she said that you weren't at home. He knew that you'd left your cash and keys in Edward's office, so you couldn't get a cab. I met up with him at the office and we went looking together."
"I've no idea what happened," I told them both as Rose sat back down after handing Alice her mug. "Edward was so happy. We'd just gotten the DNA result confirming him as Josh's father. He wanted us to talk things through, but then he mentioned child support and something about how we were going to raise Josh, and I just saw red. I felt as though he was attacking me for how I'd brought up Josh, and then when I thought about how he made me feel when he threw that check at me and insulted me, all the pent up emotions of the last few weeks just came spiralling out. I gave it to him all barrels blazing."
Rose sniggered, "I never thought you had it in you."
"You're not helping, Rose," Alice chastised her.
"I said some awful things to Edward, things that I didn't mean. I just flipped and right at that moment, I wanted him to hurt the same way I was hurting."
"What did you say?" asked Rose taking a sip of her coffee.
"I told him he was nothing more than a sperm donor."
Rose spat coffee across her desk as she choked. The corner of Alice's mouth curved upwards as she tried to hold back a laugh.
"It's not funny, Alice, it was cruel and untrue. You know how I feel about Edward!"
"I know, I'm sorry," she said apologetically. "But for what it's worth, Edward's certainly suffering now."
I raised my brow at her worryingly, "What do you mean?"
"Well, let's just say that Emmett, Esme, and Carlisle knew that you and Edward weren't getting along too well, but they didn't know the extent of what Edward had put you through... but they do now." She scoffed, "They heard every word that you said to him."
"Oh no," I dropped my head into my hands as I rested my elbows onto my knees, fighting back the tears. "They must really hate me."
"On the contrary," Alice said, "I always thought that Carlisle was quiet and chilled out, but by the time I got there, he was ripping Edward a new asshole. He told him how he was ashamed that a son of his could have treated the mother of his child so badly that she'd bottled everything up to the point of exploding."
"He didn't!" I gasped, "Poor Edward."
"Poor Edward nothing," Rose piped up. "Don't you see, Bella? That was exactly what Edward needed. He's been so concerned over his own feelings that never once did he stop to think about what he was putting you through. Don't get me wrong," she continued, "I still think that you and Edward are made for one another, and I genuinely believe that he loves you, but this had been a long time coming. Hopefully, it will be the wake up call that he needs."
Alice sat nodding her head in agreement, "Rose is right, it is what he needed. That and the right hook he received to his jaw."
"Oh, God, no," I cried. "Please don't tell me that Emmett punched him, he didn't deserve that."
"Way to go, my man," Rose laughed heartily as my eyes filled with tears.
"Don't start fist punching the air just yet," Alice told her smugly. "It happened before I arrived, but from what I can gather it wasn't Emmett that punched him, it was Esme."
Rose and I both gasped in astonishment; surely she got that part wrong. Esme wasn't a violent person.
"Esme wouldn't do something like that! It's completely out of her character." I whispered quietly in shock.
"Well, I'll be damned!" I heard Rose say as tears slid down my cheek. What had I done? I had torn a whole family apart causing Edward's own mother to lash out at him. I needed to put things straight, but I wouldn't even know where to begin.
"Why did she do that?" I asked deep in shock.
"She heard almost every word apparently. She never realized just how much Edward had put you through, how hurt and upset you were. I think she must have thought that Edward just needed time to get his head together. She didn't know everything that he'd said and done to you. She was appalled by his actions and saw red I guess," Alice shrugged, "Apparently Edward admitted that everything you threw at him was the truth, but all of that happened before I got there, so I didn't see it for myself. That's why Esme hit him and Carlisle kicked off.
"What do I do? I need to fix this, it's all wrong."
"You need to stop crying for starters, and man up a little," Rose scolded.
"She's right," Alice backed her up. "It's time to wear those big girl panties. I'm sick of all the tears now, it's wearing thin. Your eyes shed more water than the White House lawn sprinkler system."
I glared at her, "What the fuck, Alice! You have no idea what I've been going through these last few months."
"I'm not saying I have, all I know is that you need to make that mask real and man up!" she stated taking her nail file from her bag and sharpening her claws.
"Bitch."
"Never said I wasn't," she replied never looking up once from what she was doing.
"This is getting us nowhere," Rose announced drinking down her last mouthful of coffee. She stood and walked over to the sink rinsing out her mug. "You need to talk to him, Bella," she called over her shoulder.
"I already did and look what happened!"
"No, I mean calmly, this crap can't continue. It's like a game of cat and mouse. He ignores you, you cry, he say's something hurtful, you cry, you say something back, he runs away. Between the two of you, you're giving everyone whiplash. It needs to stop!"
"Christ, what is this? I come here for a friendly shoulder to..." I was going to say cry on, but I stopped myself, "...lean on, and all I get is abuse!"
"What sort of friends would we be if all we told you was the fluffy stuff that you want to hear?" Alice said as she inspected her newly sharpened talons.
"She's right," Rose said as she sat back down in her chair and placed her feet on the desk. "You and Edward both need to grow up. You're both too busy playing one another off against each other that sooner or later, the damage will be irreparable, and then where will that leave Josh? He'll grow up feeling like piggy in the middle with two parents at war with one another. Is that what you want?"
I sighed and shook my head, I knew that she was right and the last thing that I wanted was for all of mine and Edward's warring to start affecting Josh. "So what do I do?"
"Well," Alice started, "to begin with you and Edward need to both sit down and discuss things calmly. No childish behavior, no arguing, just plain old fashioned talking. You both need to lay your cards on the table and see what hand you're dealt with at the end."
I snorted, "Yeah, right, I can see that happening."
Rose lowered her feet from the desk and slammed her palms down hard. "For God's sake, Bella, stop behaving like a spoiled brat," she shouted making me jump. Rose didn't take any prisoners and when she was riled, anyone who knew her knew not to mess with her and anyone who didn't know her soon learned!
Putting my head down feeling suitably chastised, I chanced a glance over at Alice and could see the smirk on her face. "Sorry," I muttered quietly to both of them.
"Apology accepted," Alice answered flippantly. "Now, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted? Oh yes...As I was saying, you both need to sit down LIKE ADULTS," she emphasized "and work this thing out because it's not doing either of you any favors. You're miserable, Edward's miserable, and before you know it, you'll be making Joshua miserable too!"
"I know, you're right, but I just cannot see Edward and myself spending time in the same room alone without World War III breaking out. There's too much water under the bridge.
"For God's sake, Bella!" Rose cried exasperated. "You're head over heels in love with the guy. FIGHT FOR HIM!"
"There's nothing left to fight for," I said sadly "He's seeing someone else. He never loved me, and now he hates me. I can't compete and I can't change the way he feels. The only thing I can do is try and make an effort for Josh's sake."
"Geez, get over your one man pity party! Edward is not seeing Chris Cooper," Rose said flinging herself back in her chair.
My head shot up hearing those words. "What makes you say that?"
Rose ran her hands over her face and glanced at Alice who gave her a small nod.
"What are you guys not telling me? You obviously know something."
"It's nothing important; if it were, we'd have told you ages ago," Alice said.
"Look, there was something between them about two years ago," Rose started. "Apparently there wasn't any sort of relationship, they just hooked up a few times for sex. Chris wanted more, Edward said no. it's no big deal."
My heart ached at the thought of Edward with Little Miss Goddess; I knew I could never compete.
"That, right there," Alice said pointing to the pained look on my face "is the sole reason why we didn't tell you. Plus it's all in the past. Jasper promised me that absolutely nothing has happened between them since and I believe him; he has no reason to lie."
"I thought you didn't talk to Jasper and Emmett about what's happening between me and Edward?" I asked them both curiously.
"We don't!" they both said in unison.
"Look, Bella, occasionally things come up in conversation; we can't not talk about you," Alice said defensively. "You're my best friend and Edward is Jasper's brother. Of course you both crop up from time to time, but I assure you that any private conversations we have is strictly between us. Chris Cooper came up in conversation one night when Jasper was talking about work. I just happened to say that I'd heard you mention her name once, and that's when Jasper told me about what had happened between her and Edward in the past. It's no big deal."
"But nothing's happened since?" I asked needing reassurance.
"Not as far as I know, and like I said, Jasper has no reason to lie.
"Emmett says the same thing," Rose chimed in. "When Alice told me about Edward and the Goddess having a history, I did a bit of gentle digging. It seems that it's all in the past, so there really wasn't any need to tell you!"
I let that information sink in. "He still doesn't have feelings for me, so nothing changes."
"Geez, Bella, get your head out of your ass and wake up," Alice chided. "It's obvious to everyone except you and Edward that he has strong feelings for you. I would honestly say that he loves you; he just can't see it for himself."
"Yup," Rose agreed. "He treats you bad because in his eyes, you lied and hurt him. If he didn't have feelings for you, he couldn't have cared less!"
"Do you really think that?" I asked running my finger around the edge of my now cold coffee mug.
Both girls nodded.
"If we're going to get those two in the same room and be civilized to one another and talk, we need to pull out the big guns," Rose said to Alice as though I wasn't even in the same room.
"Yes, you're right, you know what that means don't you?" Alice replied
Rose nodded her head in agreement, "Esme!" they both said together.
"Err, Hello...I'm still in the room!" I said as they both continued talking over my head. I vaguely heard something about needing Esme's help, I switched off at that point. Besides, other than having Edward to worry about, I also had the realization that I was now jobless and needed to find work FAST!
A/N
Are Rose and Alice being hypocritical? After all it was them that came up with "operation Edward," and encouraged Bella to continue wearing the mask. Personally I don't think they are. Bella bottles things up and keeps things to herself. Unless she confides in someone over how she's really feeling how are they supposed to know? Yes she's told them bits of what's happened but she's never told anyone the effect it was all having on her. Now they know just how bad things have really been they can be there for her and sometimes being a friend means having to tell someone things that they really don't want to hear.
Anyway, is everyone excited for Breaking Dawn part 2? I have my tickets booked for after I finish work later. I guess a lot of you will have already seen it at the premiers or marathons. Let me know what you all think of it…Please don't mention any spoilers though.
