Hi!
So, after a long disappearance, I am back!
Thanks for your comments. Thanks for your patience.
"Addison is a fool."
Derek hadn't meant to speak aloud, but as he watched Meredith unpack a long floral sarong, realizations bombarded him. Damn, but he'd fallen in love with Meredith. Or maybe he'd always loved her.
When he'd seen Deltorro eyeing her, his blood had boiled. When Andrew and Colman had eyed her in speculation, he'd been compelled to protect her, to make their relationship public. Unlike Addison, he wanted the world to know that Meredith was his.
Meredith brought sunshine into every room, and Derek had no doubt she'd somehow make a cardboard box feel cozy. He could probably sit in that same dark alley with Meredith and be content.
Meredith's impact on him was disturbing, and had at first scared Derek spitless. But he was getting used to it, accepting it. Derek snorted. Hell, he'd more than accepted it, he loved it. Long before Meredith had crawled into his bed, she'd been in his heart. He just hadn't dared to recognize his feelings, because recognizing them meant all his other plans had been awry. It would mean he'd put too much importance on the wrong things, that he'd been planning to marry the wrong woman.
He wouldn't make the same mistakes Addison made by trying to hide his feelings. He wouldn't let Meredith think he was ashamed of her.
Meredith glanced up, for once oblivious to his mood in her excitement about the small trip. "Addison's understandably afraid, but you know, I think Enrico is really in love with her. It hurts him that they have to sneak around."
There was no accusation in Meredith's tone, nothing to indicate how she felt about their present situation.
Derek had thoroughly enjoyed their little game of sex slave and master, but with every passing minute he wanted more.
He wanted everything.
"Meredith , would you be involved with a man you were ashamed of?"
Her gaze flew to his. She held the colorful sarong to her chest. "No, of course not." She looked confused for a moment, then went back to unpacking.
Derek propped himself against the dresser and watched her. "Meredith?"
"Hmm?"
"You have a baby book on your shelf at home."
Her head lifted, their eyes met and held. Hot color flooded her face, and Meredith winced. "It's an old one."
"Yeah?" Derek couldn't look away from her. "How old?"
She fidgeted. "Um ... I got it when I was twenty."
"Why?"
Shrugging, she said, "A lot of the other women I knew then were seriously involved, engaged, getting married. It made me think about those . . . things."
Derek pushed away from the dresser and went to her. Being near Meredith and not touching her was almost impossible. Especially when discussing things like babies. He could so easily picture Meredith as a doting mother. The image of a tiny baby tugging hungrily at her nipple squeezed Derek's heart and made his lungs constrict.
He needed to know exactly how Meredith felt about him. "Do you think about all that still?"
Meredith actually winced; Derek had no idea what to make of that. Was she uncomfortable with his questioning? Was he crossing the line for her?
She replied carefully, her expression masked. "Right now, today, I'm just happy with how things are." She reached up to touch his jaw in a feather-light caress. "Very happy."
Derek was at a loss. With Addison, everyone had assumed they'd marry, and it was discussed around them quite often. He'd never been forced into a formal proposal.
With Meredith, it wouldn't be that easy. Not only was she far more complex than Addison, but she was also a stronger woman. She wouldn't marry a man for any reason other than love.
Did Meredith love him?
Derek watched her, wondering if her evasiveness was her subtle way of letting him know she didn't want to get married. He knew Meredith cared about him. He could still recall in vivid detail the way she'd rushed to his defense when Mary had disowned him. The memory of that would live with him forever.
But did Meredith care enough to tie herself to him for life? What could he offer her other than mind-blowing sex?
Just as Derek's past didn't matter to her, he knew his present situation of wealth and influence wouldn't matter either. What did Meredith see in him? What did she need from him?
Derek tried a different tack. "My mother seems to think we should give marriage some thought."
Meredith stiffened, then walked away from him. She opened the balcony doors and wandered out. She'd done that several times since their arrival, continually drawn by the ocean and the balmy breezes. This time felt different.
The sound of the ocean was a droning roar in Derek's ears. The air was humid and thick and fresh. Palm trees swayed in a gentle breeze. Derek followed her out.
Meredith had her face tipped up to the sun, and as he stepped up behind her, she said, "It's beautiful, isn't it?"
Derek braced his hands on the railing at either side of her waist, caging her in. He pressed his chest to her back and kissed her ear. Softly, he whispered, "You're beautiful, Meredith."
He could feel her smile. And her avoidance.
"Will we really make love out on the water?"
He kissed her neck, her shoulder. "We can make love anywhere you want to."
She put her head against his shoulder. "Where do you want to?"
Derek considered her question before answering. "When I was a young man, I'd screw anywhere. In the alley, at the theater, in the front and backseat of a car. Once, I took this girl in the rear of the subway with passengers sitting up front."
"Derek!"
He nuzzled her nape. "Back then, sex got so mundane, so boring, I needed the extra kick of maybe getting caught."
Meredith elbowed him hard. "So you're saying sex on the ocean is no big deal to you?"
Derek grinned and hugged her, restraining her arms so she couldn't prod him with that pointy elbow again. "I'm saying sex anywhere with you is great. No matter how many times we make love, Meredith, I just want you more."
Meredith went very still, not even breathing. Then, in the tone of voice he now knew signaled her arousal, she murmured, "Derek."
He reached around her and pressed his hand to her belly. Meredith was always soft, warm, and giving. If all they had was sex, he'd use that to win her over. He'd get her as addicted as he felt.
"Right here, Meredith?" A breeze lifted her hair, blew it back against his jaw. Derek stroked her as he felt his balls tightening, his blood heating. "You wanna watch the ocean while I fill you up? It's deep this way, Meredith, but you'll need my fingers"—he touched her suggestively— "right here, so you can come."
Her bottom pressed and wiggled back into his groin. She wore only a thin sundress, and the feeling was incredible. Breathlessly, she said, "Okay, sure."
Derek almost laughed. Meredith was always so willing, so eager, she amazed him. "Think you can be real quiet while you come? The people on the beach might wonder what you're doing if you start making all those sexy little noises I love so much."
"I'll be quiet," she promised, and wiggled again, trying to urge him to hurry.
Derek lifted the back of her skirt. He stroked her thighs, her bottom, slid her panties down her legs until they dropped to her ankles. All the while, he kissed her throat, her ear, the nape of her neck, her shoulders.
When Meredith was ready, he opened his slacks and freed his cock. For the first time, Derek resented putting on a condom, but he knew he'd never risk Meredith's feelings that way. If and when she wanted more from him, then they'd discuss it further.
But as he slowly sank into her, he couldn't stop himself from saying, "You'd be an incredible mother, Meredith."
Meredith groaned and clenched around him. Derek wasn't sure she'd even heard his words. If she had, she didn't comment.
"Push back, Meredith. That's it. Now brace your feet apart so you can take my thrusts."
Within minutes Meredith was ready to climax. Derek reached between her legs and touched her just right, then had to use his other hand to muffle her shout of release. In the next instant, he closed his mouth over her shoulder to hide his own raw groans of completion.
They both slumped forward on the railing.
After a moment, Meredith giggled. "Derek," she whispered, sounding scandalized. "We have to move."
"No. Can't." His legs were awkwardly braced, and if he moved, he'd fall on his face. Thinking of babies and forever-after while Meredith milked him dry had zapped him of strength.
"People are looking," she insisted.
Derek cocked one eye open. Sure enough, people below were glancing their way curiously. He smiled. "Nosy bastards." He was still inside her, as closely connected as two people could be, and he hated to pull out. "They're just jealous that I'm the one here with you."
"Yeah, right." Meredith chuckled again, but Derek also heard the hint of embarrassment.
He slipped out of her, patted her rear, and said, "Marry me, Meredith."
