A/N: Thanks to Erikasbuddy, Vixenonfire, and MasenJar for their input and eyes on this chapter. It's been so long, let's just get started.
Chapter 29
Edward POV
I'd lost track of how many animals lay lifeless in my path of destruction over the course of the past few hours. As fast as I could snap their necks and suck them dry, Alice swooped in to clean up my mess, hiding the evidence as I moved on to the next innocent victim on my quest to feel normal again. The forest grew even more silent as the wildlife finally realized that they were doomed in the early light of dawn, as every piece of meat with a beating heart headed for higher ground to escape the rampaging vampire.
Collapsing to the ground when another unlucky buck had gone dry, I sprawled on my back and closed my eyes. Nothing was going the way it was supposed to. I should have been able to protect and care for Bella. She shouldn't have been the one who had to clean me up, wiping me down as I stood lifelessly in the shower so I wouldn't be covered in vomited donor blood any longer. Just another failed attempt at going back to the status quo. But I was fooling myself again because I never was normal—not as a vampire, maybe not even when I was human.
"We should get back to Bella's house, Edward. The sun's coming up."
Alice was probably right about the need to get out of the daylight, but I just wanted to stay here under the canopy of trees, waiting for the animal blood to do its thing and make me feel okay again. Not shaky and edgy, only focused on my thirst. It seemed like I'd been feeling this way for weeks instead of a few days.
"There will be some hikers through here in a few hours." My sister tugged on my hand to lift me to my feet. "They'll think you're dead if you stay like this, not to mention that Bella will kick my ass if I show up at Charlie's without you."
With the thought of my girlfriend somehow getting the best of all-seeing Alice, it brought a smile to my face and made me less of a dead weight, so I let her pull me up. "I might pay to see that."
"Yeah, well, she'd have to be one of us before that would even be possible, and you refuse to let that happen, so…" she trailed off as she dropped my hand and started walking away.
I sighed, my stomach heavy and full after feeding more than I should have. "We're really going to talk about this now?" I asked while following after her.
"When is there going to be a better time? No one else is around, it's finally just you and me. You have five miles to tell me why six months ago she stopped showing up as a vampire in my visions."
The possibility of Bella even appearing as one of us in her visions was news to me. Alice was so good at hiding her mind as she saw fit whenever she was near. "She finally stopped mentioning being turned when I refused talk about it." I shrugged when I finally caught up with her. "I guess she gave up."
"But how can you deny giving her forever, especially when she wants the same from you?"
"It's more complicated than that."
"No, it's not. You're just too pig headed to see how simple it really is."
Alice wasn't above hitting below the belt and resorting to name calling. I sighed. "You don't understand—"
"Just listen to me, Edward. Your refusal to turn her doesn't just affect you, but it also has ramifications for the rest of us, most of all Bella."
"You know how I feel about this, Alice. I'd give anything to be human again, so why would I doom Bella to this half-life?" I was getting more frustrated and my voice grew louder as I continued. "And now I'm in some weird kind of limbo where I'm not quite a whole vampire because I sleep like a human. I'm useless to everyone when I sleep." Instead, I maintained a brisk pace through the forest towards Bella's house.
"We're working on that. Carlisle will figure it out soon—"
"And if he doesn't? What then, huh? The only thing I can keep down is Bella's blood, and I've already weakened her. Who knows what will happen with everything I just drank?"
"It will probably be fine. But are you really going to dangle eternity in front of her face, show her how great it can be, and then let her grow old and die? Or even worse, are you going to let her meet her end in some other way?"
I remained silent, not really knowing what to say that wouldn't set Alice off.
"Fine, Edward, don't answer me. But if you want her to die that way, you should have just let James kill her last year. At least then we wouldn't have any of this drama with Victoria and Laurent going on right now in Alaska, or even the whole Mike thing. And you wouldn't be sleeping."
I stopped dead in my tracks, squeezing my hands into tight fists and releasing them repeatedly at my sides. And there it was, someone finally placed blame in the rightful place—squarely on my shoulders. "Everything is entirely my fault, Alice. I'm the one who fell in love with a human. It was me who made the wrong decisions all along. I can't go back and change things, so what do you want from me?"
Her steely eyes bore through me while her mind remained uncharacteristically silent. "Just do the right thing for once," she finally said. "Stop being selfish and look at the bigger picture. Now let's go."
I followed wordlessly behind Alice through the woods, breaking out into a dead sprint when the sun started to peek out over the horizon. My entire body felt strong at first, still sated from the extreme thirst that had burned through me earlier. It was as close to normal as I was going to get, I thought as I shed my clothes and climbed into bed next to a sleeping Bella. Suddenly, I was filled with the desire to just rest my eyes for a few minutes.
Emmett POV
If the atmosphere in our car could be considered awkward with Laurent and Irina canoodling in the backseat while Kate muttered to herself about shocking the shit out of them for entertainment, I didn't even want to imagine how oppressive Carlisle's was with his band of misfits in the backseat. Poor Mike was stuck between Tanya and Victoria—it was like a shark sandwich with unsuspecting varsity boy meat. I'd never seen Esme push the limits of a vehicle so far, but Rosalie kept a close distance between the two cars, and we arrived at the Alaskan coven's home in record time.
My wife linked her hand with mine when we met in front of the bumper. The engines thumped and ticked as they cooled while everyone else piled out, heading for the house with nothing better to do. I gave Rosie a small smile while I squeezed her hand and pulled her to me, knowing that the next few hours were going to be tense where Mike and Victoria were concerned. I would have to try to insert myself somehow into their situation—if only to find out the truth, and maybe prevent something horrible from happening.
We were at a severe disadvantage up here. No Alice, Edward, or Jasper meant we were on an even playing field with the enemy. If I was completely honest with myself, I'd admit that we might have a large weakness because a few of us weren't capable of being ruthless. At least I knew that Rosalie would have my back, and I could always count on her to be merciless if the time came.
Carlisle excused himself to make a phone call almost immediately after we'd walked inside, and Esme just followed him out through the back door. Irina and Laurent disappeared hand in hand down a corridor, and I didn't want to think about what was going on behind that closed door, so I turned my attention towards the others wandering around. Rosie and Kate were already deep in discussion about something, no doubt conspiring together from the cackles of laughter breaking out from their corner of the room. But the thing that really worried me was how Victoria was sticking to Mike like she was super glued to his ass while Tanya watched them with a stalker-like obsession from the other side of the room.
"What's up, Little Strawberry?" I asked Tanya as I slid in next to her silently. She didn't react. "Do they know you're having a staring contest?"
"Shut up, Emmett. And keep your voice down."
Wow, she didn't even look at me once as she spoke. Tanya always made eye contact when I made fun of her, and I could at least tell when she was pissed off enough for me to stop if I knew what was good for me. "Fine, fine. I'll just join you in your Creeper corner for a while."
Mike and Victoria continued to have an obviously uncomfortable conversation that was as deep as a mud puddle. From our hiding spot behind several large plants, we could easily hear every stilted word that was spoken as they glossed over topics that couldn't be seen as controversial to a nun. Every few minutes, he would glance around the room to see who else was around, and his eyes would linger on the corner containing Tanya and me. After getting to know Mike over the last few weeks, I was sure he was hoping someone would save him from that unfortunate situation. But he was the one who'd ripped apart Victoria and Laurent, not knowing that you needed to light the pieces on fire to get rid of them for good, so he had to lie in that particular bed of deep shit he'd made for a while longer.
"Yeah, this is boring," I sighed and walked away from Tanya, approaching my wife from behind and wrapping my arms around her waist as she continued to speak with Kate.
Rosie rubbed her hands over my forearms, leaning back into me and instantly calming me in a way that nothing else could. As I breathed in her scent—all flowers and woman and seduction wrapped up in a perfect package—Victoria whispered an invitation to take a walk alone with Michael. Bad idea, Mikey. You probably shouldn't go anywhere with her alone. Hell, I wouldn't really want to be alone with either one of them. Look at what happened to Edward. Poor dude's broken now, more than he was before.
Right when I moved to follow them out the front door, Carlisle and Esme walked back into the house. "We need to get back as soon as possible, Carlisle. They need us back home," Esme said, obvious concern lacing her voice.
I caught Carlisle's eye as Esme continued past us. "What's going on?"
"I've left Charlie a message asking him to donate a pint or two. I'd like to see if Edward can keep it down since he was having trouble with the donor blood that I brought over to Bella's last night."
This must have been what Carlisle was texting back and forth with Alice about in the car during our drive up here. "Is he okay?"
"He had a very rough night, but Bella and Edward are both resting right now. Alice took him hunting a little while ago, and that seemed to help with the way he was feeling."
Worries filled my thoughts—about Bella's tendency toward selflessness, and especially Edward's apparent helplessness in this situation. I knew that she would do anything without a second thought if she could help him. And he would be stewing in regret, beating himself up over this entire sleeping situation even though it was solely on Mike's irritating shoulders. But we weren't at home right now, and there were more pressing matters right here to take care of first. "Victoria and Mike headed out to talk. Want me to follow?"
Carlisle sighed. "Just let them work things out for themselves. No need for us to be involved any more than we have been. Hopefully, everything will be resolved more quickly. Either way, we leave by the time darkness falls tonight."
I simply nodded my agreement as I turned to see Tanya quietly slip out the door after Mike and Victoria had a nice head start. No need for me to spy on them at all now, was there? Little Strawberry was taking care of that for me, and she had her game face on.
Michael POV
Keeping the anger that was coursing through me stuffed deep down, so deep inside that it stayed miles underneath the surface, was almost impossible. But keeping a calm exterior was a necessity when just existing next to Victoria. All she needed was one little crack, one tiny fault to pry her talons into, and she would pick her way in and tear you apart.
I didn't want to believe that the Cullens had set me up, simply hand delivering me to the red headed demon. When someone showed up on your doorstep—alone and vulnerable—asking to stay with your family for a while, you should be able to read between the lines. And after I'd done them a gigantic favor by leaving town last year, making sure that Victoria and Laurent went with me. It wasn't easy worming my way into James' place inside Victoria's black heart, and it certainly wasn't somewhere that I wanted to occupy permanently. I'd merely done it to get the hell out of Dodge. In my opinion, Forks was way too small to be home to so many vampires, especially with those nosy wolves nipping at our heels. I'd only be free to live the wild newborn lifestyle the animal in me demanded if I was on the run, traveling around the world. And it wasn't like my parents gave a crap. As long as I called home every now and then, they didn't seem to give a shit. They were more upset that I couldn't work at the family store for free than anything else.
But the longer the three of us stayed away, the more I itched to be free, and the more attached Victoria seemed to grow to me. The further away we traveled from my hometown, the saner and more normal she became. As long as certain topics were never mentioned, like the Cullens, Bella, James, and strangely enough, hookers, life went pretty smoothly for us. She seemed like a normal girl most of the time, at least for a vampire. Laurent, on the other hand, had remained distrustful, terminally bored, and always searching for powerful people. He must have thought he was stealthy when he'd sneak away and call a woman who had a subtle mysterious accent that I couldn't quite place. But I'd eavesdropped on a good portion of these calls, learning that he'd rather be in what I now knew was Alaska with this Irina chick.
After one easily overheard phone call in a crowded bar, he stuffed the phone in his pocket and muttered, "I'll rip them apart before I spend another moment with these two buffoons." Those simple words sealed his fate. It was then that I decided to act before Laurent could, to be proactive instead of reactive. Soon he would find out how much of a clown I wasn't.
How awesome was it that I awoke as a vampire with a kick ass gift? It was much cooler than being bitten by a radioactive spider or getting toxic waste dumped on me or whatever else gave superheroes their powers. I was shocked to say the least when I knocked out that smug bastard Edward in Bella Swan's front yard. From what I'd gathered, vampires don't sleep—like, ever—and since I was turned, the only time I slept was when Edward forced me to use my gift on myself. I'm pretty sure I have the best superpower that one can have, so why would I waste my time hanging out with regular, boring old vampires? Obviously the ones with special abilities congregate together, so it was logical that I'd head back to Forks after taking care of a few thorns in my side. And Victoria and Laurent never even saw me coming with my hands a blazing.
At the moment, Victoria was uncharacteristically quiet as we walked out into the Alaskan wilderness. While it gave me time to think back over my past nine months as a vampire, it also gave me the space to grow uncomfortable and suspicious. Her eyes were shifty and out of focus like they had been before we left Forks last year. "So," I began, wanting to get this show on the road before it was too late. "You said that you wanted to talk?" I certainly wasn't at ease being out here all alone with her.
Her steps didn't slow when she spoke. "Why didn't you look for me?"
Because I thought I'd taken care of you permanently. "Like I said before, I thought that you and Laurent ditched me like you did back in Paris."
My words were met with total silence on her end. Her cold, calculating eyes were back in full force, boring holes through me when she stopped under a tree. If I'd only known that ripping them apart wouldn't kill a vampire back then, my life would be so much easier right now. Damn Laurent for not giving a full course of Vampire Killing 101 in his phone calls to Irina.
Victoria sized me up for a full minute before she decided to speak. I found it so hard to stay cool, calm, and collected under her scrutiny. Well, it wasn't hard to stay cool, anyway, when you were both a vampire and me. "That was in the beginning, and it was a test, a mere joke. But how could you think I would leave you after everything that happened between us?"
Great, cryptic girl speak. "I…I couldn't find you and—" Luckily she cut me off before I had to think of a good lie for walking away from their broken bodies and never looking back. Especially when you considered how easily vampires can find one another based on stink alone…
"Why would you go to the Cullens?" Her crazy expression had morphed into one that made her look like she was about to cry if only her body could squirt out a few tears. Since I was capable of making vampires sleep, I briefly wondered if there was a vampire out there that had the gift of being a mood stabilizer. Now that would be a fantastic gift to have—I could make all the hot ladies love me.
"Look, I told you that I was checking on my parents and went to a graduation party for my old classmates while I was in Forks that just happened to be at the Cullen's house. They invited me to stay since it would be easier for me to live with my own kind while I was in town because of those psycho wolves roaming around, and I decided to take them up on the offer." Thank Jesus for the fast moving supernatural mind. It made me a light speed lie generating machine.
"But your eyes?" she asked with black eyes full of suspicion.
"It was part of staying with them, baby. Couldn't provoke those stupid wolves any further." And it was so much easier than hunting humans—certainly didn't taste as delicious, but you got used to it surprisingly quick. It was like going from Coke to Diet Coke. It certainly didn't taste as delicious, but the caffeine kick was still there.
Suddenly, the air seemed to crackle with electricity. While I tried to look around discreetly—and no one seemed to be in the area—she remained oblivious to the change in the atmosphere around us. Weird. Must be the dry air way up here.
Victoria reached out and ran her hand slowly up my arm, finally cupping my cheek when she reached my face. All of those months of going along with whatever she wanted out of fear of provoking her crazy streak kicked in again, but I thankfully didn't jerk away even though I really, really wanted to run for the hills.
"Are you sure you didn't stay there because you wanted the mind reader's plaything for yourself?"
The static electricity grew stronger while a chill seemed to shoot from Victoria's hand down into my body and out of my feet. "What?" Thank God I couldn't break out into a sweat anymore. "Who the hell is a mind reader? I have no idea what you're talking about."
Victoria cackled, dropping her hand from my cheek and turning away as she continued to laugh at my apparent ignorance. "Edward, you fool, has read every single thought you've had about his precious Bella."
Ah, shit. No wonder he hated me all of this time. "Oh," was my answer. "I thought that I proved to you while we traveled that I didn't want Bella Swan. I only wanted her dead." If she would have taken the time to explain the whole vampire mating thing to me when I was a newbie, I never would have wasted my time. Come to find out through Emmett actually, there were a ton of things Victoria and Laurent should have explained to me about being a vampire. But they kept me in the dark so I was easily manipulated, bent to their will. No way in hell was I going to be in that position again.
Turning back to face me, her icy expression wordlessly defied me to prove my commitment to her, so I rambled on. "Seriously, it was just a leftover human crush, that's all. There were slim pickings in Forks. Besides, Edward and Bella are mates—nothing can separate them."
"Death can separate them very easily."
I scoffed. I didn't like the turn this conversation was taking, especially since I knew that Edward had killed James when Bella's life was threatened. I was very lucky to be alive at this point, even luckier that the Cullens let me grace their presence.
A flash of reddish–yellow in the distance over Victoria's shoulder distracted me long enough for her to snake an arm around my waist and pull me against her body. "Nothing can separate us again, lover."
Awwwwwkward. It's not you, it's me—that was what I was supposed to say to try to ease my way out of this, right? I certainly couldn't come right out and say "You were the most vile female I've ever known, and I am now strong enough to get away from you, you crazy bitch." All of those words wanted to spill out of my mouth, but I knew they would mean instant dismemberment or worse. "Babe, she's never meant anything to me. I promise that's not why I'm doing this. Look—I just want to settle down somewhere, go to college. The Cullens have a ton of cash and I figure I can sponge off of them for a while."
My words were met with a confused expression, her brows knitted together over distant eyes staring to the left of my head. "You want to be domesticated like cattle?"
"Huh?" I pushed away from her. More of the crazy talk from Victoria. At least she wasn't physically abusing me this time.
"Cooped up, roaming the same land until someone culls you."
I really had no idea what she was trying to say. "I just want to get back to my life before all of this happened. I had big dreams, ya know. Didn't you have dreams back when you were human?"
Her eyes narrowed and she took another step backward. "Well now, don't let me get in the way of your dreams."
I don't know why I felt the need to explain myself, to try and leave her peacefully. Maybe I should have tried to knock her out again, even though I hadn't used my power in months. But the urge to do this nobly was at the front of my mind for some reason.
"I didn't mean it that way, Vic. It feels like I need to be doing something productive with this second life, not just wandering around and taking people's lives away to satisfy my own hunger." But man, do they taste so much better than animals.
An emotionless cold mask slipped over her face after a brief burst of disgust. "I'm sure the Cullens can help you with that. Goodbye, Michael. Look me up when you grow tired of your goodwill missions."
"Bye," I answered, leaving her to watch the mountains as I went back to the house. The weight on my shoulders became lighter and lighter with every step I took.
A/N: I have the next chapter outlined, so I hope to have it done and posted before July is up. Sorry it took so long for this one, but I've been working on an original novel, reading books for my book review blog, going to Book Expo America, work has been crazy busy, and betaing for other fics as well as my critique partners original novels. Drop me a line to let me know that you're still reading, and hopefully enjoying Push and Pull.
