.

Slippery Spiral

"Sh-" Jack glanced at Riley running alongside him. "Sugar, sugar, sugar," he continued.

They finally reached their destination and Jack turned to face Riley, placing one hand on her shoulder and keeping the other carefully away from her.

"Alright, alright," he said catching his breath. "Everything's under control. Your mother's still alive, she's the last one in need of help and I have her liver right here. Just do your thing, fix her up, and we can put this entire mess behind us, okay?"

"Ah... huh," Riley said.

Jack sighed before bowing down to put himself on the same eye level as Riley.

"Look," he said, "I know it was not a good day for either of us, but it's almost over. Just one more thing and we can go our separate ways. Just do it for your mother, alright? And then I'll..." Jack desperately grasped for something little girls may find appealing. "I'll buy you a pony?" He looked closely at Riley's face and saw vacant expression and empty eyes. "A therapist pony," he amended.

"Okay," Riley said before taking the liver from Jack's hand and turning to face her mother.

"Good girl," Jack said, absently patting her on her head.

It was at that moment that he heard a loud crushing noise followed by familiar screams of Riley's family.

"Oh my God, what is it now?!" He swirled in place to face the door.

"I think Chuckles forgot how his limbs work again," Siberian said.


"Are you sure this is the right thing to do?" Bonesaw said, once more checking the settings of cryo-camera.

Jack smiled at her sadly. "You've heard them same as I, didn't you? I'm apparently destined to destroy the world. And with our track record? I believe them." He sighed. "I wish things could be different, but, you know... Something must be done to put an end to it, and I think our latest project will do the trick. Pocket dimension, putting us all to ice. No way anything could go wrong now." He frowned. "I mean, it's not the only way to get the job done, but, honestly, I'm too scared for another way. So, long sleep it is for me."

"Am I not a part of all of this by now?" Bonesaw asked sullenly.

Jack sighed and patted her on her shoulder.

"I'm really sorry for dragging you into this mess back then," he said. "And yeah, you're a part of our crew by now, no question about it. But I really do believe you can do better. Make yourself look different, craft a normal life, make a lot of friends and no enemies. Be happy. Can you do it for me?"

"Okay, Uncle Jack," Bonesaw said hiding her eyes behind her hair. "I will."

"Good." Jack smiled. "Now, I'd also ask you to check on us from time to time, make sure everything's in working order. Not that I would blame you if you didn't..."

"No, no. I will."

Jack nodded and without saying anything more climbed into the camera. Bonesaw watched him for a long moment before turning to the control panel.

"Goodby, Riley," he said as he felt cold overtaking him.

"Goodby, Uncle Jack," he thought he heard.

He fell into a deep sleep...

...Only to awake after what seemed a moment to him to a sight of dozens of copies of previous Slaughterhouse members mingling around the place and Riley standing before his camera with distraught expression on her face.

"Uncle Jack!" she cried. "I don't know how that happened!"

"F-fudge it all!"


"...And you know what happened next? Shatterbird sneezed! She was known as Songbird before then, you know?"

For the first time since arriving to this world... no, for the first time in his entire life Zion smiled. What happened to the host of the broadcast shard was so much worse than what happened to him, who only lost one person he loved. But Zion didn't care about him or people around him, and the twists and turns of their path were so unexpected, betrayed his expectations so much that instead of serving as a depressing reminder of his own fate, they provided a cathartic narrative in which he could lose himself, if only for a moment.

Zion frowned. Except now he did think about his partner and the sadness was back. He supposed nothing could last forever, a lesson his species have learned long ago.

Still, there was something in the host's story, something that promised more than saving kittens and putting out fires.

Zion fell deep in thought. Perhaps he should try to orchestrate situations similar to what he just heard? What did they have in common? Ah yes, the betrayal of expectations. You thought one thing would happen and then something completely different happened instead. Irony, he was pretty sure the phenomenon was called.

So... Land was supposed to be above water. So, putting it underwater would be ironic. Yes, ironic and funny. He should try it with that "Britain" landmass.

With renewed sense of purpose, Zion easily broke the time bubble surrounding him and went off to play the first of his practical jokes.

Far below him, trapped in another time bubble, Jack sighed as he felt the presence on the edge of his senses disappearing.

"I suppose even the greatest hero has only so much patience for sob stories." He winced as the wound in his stomach reopened once more. "I guess this is the end of the line for me. Not the best end, but I'm glad it's finally over." He spent the next two loops screaming profanities he didn't dare utter for the last few years. "And hey!" He smiled, and the smile was almost genuine. "I didn't destroy the world! In my situation, that's honestly something I can be proud of."