"Don't hit it!" Eliza said as Maddy was holding a block in her hand. "Nooo!" she said teasingly to the baby as Maddy knocked over the tower that they'd made together. She laughed as she giggled and then hugged her before they began to gather the blocks again. They were at the Darnley-Nkosi home after finishing at the zoo and she was keeping the baby entertained while dinner was still cooking. "Want to go play in the kitchen too?"
Looking where Eliza was pointing Maddy smiled and cooed before she stood up with the toddler's help.
Watching the two involve themselves with the kitchen play set Julia then left since Nkosi was there to keep an eye on them too. She nearly ran into her mother and Darnley who were walking up to the family room and she said, "Is there something I could do?"
"There is," Darnley told her with a smile. "We were just coming to get you."
Surprised to hear that Julia took the man's hand before he led her over to a room she hadn't seen since she'd first been to the house. She looked around and then gasped in joy when she saw the posters on the wall and said, "You like The Beatles too!"
"Yep, how did you think your mom came to be a fan?" Darnley asked as he and Beckett watched her go over to the posters.
"I have this one… this is a picture I have in my mural," Julia said, smiling widely. "And then this one I don't have but I have it as a t-shirt."
"I do too," Darnley said.
"I wanted to tell you sweetie," Beckett said, smiling at Castle as he began to quickly hand her a glass of wine. She grabbed him before he could leave to let him stay and she continued saying to their eldest daughter, "Patrick and I would sit in his apartment; usually on his bed since it was a one bedroom; listening to music on this old record player he had. He had a number of Paul's albums along with George's so now you know I wasn't lying when I said that."
Julia smiled and then said to her mother, "I didn't think you were. Did you listen to music and talk?"
"About everything," Darnley said. "And we told each other what we would name our kids; if we had them."
"Cool but you didn't pick Keo's name did you?" Julia asked not noticing the slightly worried expressions on her parents' faces at what the detective had said.
"No he was already named that and we loved it," Darnley replied, looking at his friend apologetically. "But here, let me show you the albums we had…"
"It's okay love," Castle murmured to his wife then though the other two were involved in their discussion on the albums.
"I know," Beckett replied. "He would have changed the subject if she asked about her name."
"Mommy, come and look," Julia was telling him then. "Hey Daddy," she said as she'd been looking away from them and hadn't noticed him there.
"Can I look too?" Castle asked her.
"Yeah, you like them too," Julia said. "Do you remember?"
"This one," Beckett said with a smile as she held up his copy of the album Sgt. Pepper. "How many times did we listen to this one?"
"How many times did we listen to them all," Darnley said with a laugh. "I wonder if it's because we hear our parents telling us stories doing that all the time and we never had an opportunity until you and I realized we liked the same music."
Beckett nodded and then said to Julia, "He's the one who got me interested in Paul's solo music."
"Really?" the little girl said, looking at the detective in awe.
"She knew only one song of his and that's because they play it on the radio," Darnley said.
"Maybe I'm Amazed?" Julia asked, aware of that fact since she had heard the song herself on the radio still. She smiled at her parents when Darnley nodded and then told him, "They had that song at their wedding."
"The song you danced to? You never told me it," Darnley told his friend.
"No," Beckett said with a smile. "It was Paul's version of Always."
"Oooh, nice," Darnley said, nodding his head a few times. "We didn't have a reception but we danced alone together the night we were married here in the family room so at least we could have that. And we danced to Maybe I'm Amazed." When the little girl didn't say anything he told her, "We teased each other about the lines referencing a girl but we knew what the song meant for us and we loved it."
"Which is why you have McCartney still," Beckett said as she held up the album. She smiled when Darnley playfully grabbed it from her and told her husband and daughter, "He'd always tease me about treating these albums delicately. As if they were made of glass."
"You should," Julia said with a smile. "They're awesome; you don't want to break them."
"Hey you hip teens," a voice said. When the four looked up at her in surprise at her pseudo American accent Skye said, "Bethany asked me to come and nick you for dinner."
"Oh, fantastic," Darnley said. "Now you can see what she's making."
"Is it duck?" Castle asked, having joined the three in Darnley's office as he'd been driven crazy trying to figure out what the woman had been cooking but unable to see what it was.
"You'll see," Darnley replied.
"We are having a buffet," Joseph said with a smile at them. "And it is going to be a special dinner for everyone from out of town."
"That sounds like it's gonna be nice," Julia said, smiling back at him. She liked Nkosi's father as he'd told her and Eliza; plus Maddy though the baby had eventually left them to go to one of her fathers; stories about South Africa. "Can you tell us that story again later?" she asked him suddenly, the question nearly bursting out of her.
"Oh… you enjoyed that one?" Joseph said, knowing which she meant.
"It's an important story," Julia told him. She then became thoughtful and asked, "What if you wrote it down."
"I could," Joseph said, looking to her parents.
"Yeah we'd love to have a copy of that," Castle said since he'd loved the story about the man meeting Nelson Mandela when the president had been in the United States in the 90s. "You want to add your own point of view?" he asked Nkosi.
"If she wants me to," the man said with a smile, nodding to Julia.
"I do," the little girl said firmly. "Why did he want to meet you, say that again?"
Laughing since she'd been asking him Nkosi said, "I was the first South African to become an NTSB agent around the time of his visit, so he wanted to meet me. I took Mother and Father because they have always admired him."
"They will give you the story again later," Bethany said, going to where everyone was in the hall. "Come and see what we have made for you."
"Thanksgiving!" Eliza cried seeing part of the turkey that was left after carving.
"It does look exactly like that," Jim said with a smile for the woman.
"And it looks fantastic," Mary then added.
Smiling when everyone said something similar, Bethany urged them to go over and get their plates before they went to sit together around the table.
After Joseph gave a quick toast in Xhosa everyone began to eat and talk about their day to fill in Nkosi's parents on what they had done at the zoo. Towards the end of the meal; after they'd all complimented Bethany, Joseph and their son for their cooking; Julia brought up the idea of Skye singing again and she and her sister began to suggest titles of them before they were helping clear the table.
"Come on," Skye said with a laugh as the others urged her to take the three children to the family room. "I have an idea of what to sing already, let me get the guitar," she said. "Miss Julia? Can you keep an eye on these two?" she then asked her.
"Yep," Julia said seriously before she took her sister and Maddy to the family room. She was surprised; when Eliza tried to take the baby back to the kitchen play set; that Maddy instead held onto her hand tightly.
"Jo… Jo ba," Maddy told her.
"Do you know what that means?" Julia asked her sister, thinking because she was still little she might know.
"Maybe," Eliza replied. "She wants you to dance."
"I don't think so," Julia said when the baby had then grabbed onto her. She picked her up and then said, "I hope she doesn't want me to do this for a long time."
"You won't be," Skye said, coming into the room then. She smiled at Eliza trailing after her sister and watched them look at her then. "I brought these both because I realized I need Mary as back up; badly."
"We can listen in now," Beckett said, coming in and going straight to Julia to take the baby. She gently rocked her before Maddy could protest and then kissed her temple before handing her to her grandfather.
"Alright," Skye said once they were all sitting down and Mary was aware of what she wanted to play. "This is a song from a band. Not that band," she said quickly when she heard Julia gasp hopefully. "Sorry but you'll like this band too. You might know them already."
The little girl was confused but as soon as Skye played the first line she knew what the song was. "I love this one!" Julia told them a little loudly so they could hear her.
Skye smiled and nodded and then said hurriedly, "If you want to join in on back up we'd love you to do so."
"We'll try," Castle said, nodding to his wife.
Beckett looked at her husband but she couldn't really protest as she didn't have the chance, the song beginning as the two women started to sing. When she heard Julia's voice she looked at her, smiling at the look of enjoyment on the little girl's face as the McDouglases smiled at her.
Well it's all right, riding around on the breeze
Well it's all right, if you the life you please
Well it's all right, doing the best you can
Well it's all right, as long as you lend a hand
There Mary took over for her wife though Skye sang the second line of the verse as it was her back up. They smiled at each other since they had been practicing the song for a while; that time their first chance performing it for people other than their family.
You can sit around and wait for the phone to ring
At the end of the line
Waiting for someone to tell you everything
At the end of the line
Sit around and wonder what tomorrow will bring
At the end of the line
Maybe a diamond ring
There Castle looked at his wife with wide eyes as she pulled their oldest to her and then they both began to sing the chorus together. He smiled as they leaned against each other and started to clap, not surprised when his mother joined in before Darnley and all the others did; reminding himself to ask his wife's friend why he looked nostalgic watching Beckett sing.
Well it's all right, even if they say you're wrong
Well it's all right, sometimes you gotta be strong
Well it's all right, as long as you got somewhere to lay
Well it's all right, every day is Judgment Day
At the verse Julia wasn't surprised when her mother stopped singing but she kept going just because she loved to get the chance to sing that song.
Maybe somewhere down the road aways
At the end of the line
You'll think of me and wonder where I am these days
At the end of the line
Maybe somewhere down the road when somebody plays
At the end of the line
Purple Haze
Skye, singing, couldn't help smile as most everyone joined in again at the next version of the chorus looking at her wife before they turned their attention back to the guitars to keep with the chords.
Well it's all right, even if push comes to shove
Well it's all right, if you got someone to love
Well it's all right, everything will work out fine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line
Watching the way Skye and Mary were both playing the strings of the guitar Eliza wished she could learn to play that already. But her grandfather hugged her before she shook herself of her thoughts and instead listened to the lyrics, knowing them well already from her sister and their parents.
Don't have to be ashamed of the car I drive
At the end of the line
I'm just glad to be here, happy to be alive
At the end of the line
It don't matter if you're by my side
At the end of the line
I'm satisfied
Julia loved the way that the two women didn't look at each other at the third to last line and instead glanced at one another at the very last one. She looked at her mother, able to tell from the knowing smile on her face that she'd noticed the same thing as well and she looked back to them as Skye was quickly speaking.
"You two join us the last two times," the investigator said before she and Mary started to sing them together; Beckett and Julia singing as well though Castle slipped in too after the second line they all sang.
Well it's all right, even if you're old and gray
Well it's all right, you still got something to say
Well it's all right, remember to live and let live
Well it's all right, the best you can do is forgive
Well it's all right, riding around in the breeze
Well it's all right, if you live the life you please
Well it's all right, even if the sun don't shine
Well it's all right, we're going to the end of the line
Skye and Mary then began to play the closing chords together and everyone clapped as soon as the last one was echoing in the room before all three girls were asking them to play another one yet again. Sharing a look the two women then began to play another song, the room filling with singing from Julia and Eliza as it was a Beatles song they both knew very well while the others all watched them with a smile.
Holding onto the edge of the pool Julia looked over at her mother and smiled widely at her saying, "I'm still a little embarrassed I was singing so much."
"Me too," Beckett said.
"Why are you embarrassed?" Julia asked in surprise.
"Because I don't usually sing in front of people," Beckett said simply.
"But you sing so nice," Julia insisted before she let go of the edge to tread the water.
"I prefer to sing for you, your sister and daddy," Beckett said simply. She then said, "Want to go on one more race?"
"Yes please," Julia said before they went together over to the end of the pool. She and her mother had gone down to the pool after they'd left Darnley and the Nkosis, Maddy about to be taken up to her room to be put to bed. She had tried to tell her mother they didn't have to go alone but Castle and Eliza had settled down with Martha and Jim at the table to play cards so she and Beckett had gone. They had swum a little at first before they'd then raced but they hadn't really competed which she'd enjoyed since she was always going to lose as she was still small. So that race had them going to the opposite ladder together before they climbed out. "Are we going to the Jacuzzi?" she asked hopefully as her mother wrapped her towel around herself.
Smiling Beckett didn't answer and instead just took her daughter's hand to take her to the room where the hot tub was. Once they were sitting together in the hot water she watched the way Julia was running her arms back and forth and she said, "Have you enjoyed your trip?"
"We still have one more place to go Mommy. The trip isn't over yet," Julia protested, bringing her knees up so she could wrap her arms around them.
"I know," Beckett said. "Then let me ask that again. Have you been enjoying the trip so far?"
"Oh yes Mommy," Julia said with a wide smile. "We've gone to the best places and it's so neat to get to meet Patrick; to hear stories about when you were friends."
"I'm glad you want to know," Beckett said with a smile. "And you're just like your daddy because he's wanted to hear those stories for a long time."
"I'm not surprised," Julia said with a smile. She then giggled and told her mother, "But are you sad we're gonna be leaving tomorrow."
"No," Beckett said firmly as Julia then swam over to her where she wrapped her arms around her. She put her own around her daughter and told her, "Patrick and I were talking about that and we're going to talk via Skype whenever we can and if we're too busy then we'll e-mail."
"You should write letters," Julia told her.
Not surprised her daughter had suggested that Beckett told her, "We won't have time for that. But don't worry we don't want to lose touch again."
"Good, he's a really good friend for you," Julia said. "Like Skye."
Beckett kissed her daughter's temple and then said, "We better get out."
"We're going back up?" Julia asked.
"Not yet," Beckett said. She wasn't taken aback when Julia immediately asked her why but just told her that she would find out as they went back to the lounge chairs at the end of the swimming pool. Once they'd dried off they sat on one together until an employee walked inside to them. "I'm Kate," she called to him. She took one of the mugs of tea before giving it to Julia, taking the own second and giving the man a tip.
"I get to have tea?" the little girl asked with a broad smile.
"It's chamomile," Beckett said. "I thought it would be nice for us to have."
"You're right, it is," Julia said. "So did you see Williamsburg already?" she asked, feeling very grown up as she sipped the tea.
"Mmm-hmm," Beckett replied as she was drinking then herself. "Your grandparents took me there too; they wanted me to see the history of our country. Some of the history of the country."
Julia smiled and nodded saying, "I know there's a lot. Can you tell me what you saw or do I have to wait?"
"Now we want to surprise you," Beckett said. "Though you do know what it's supposed to be about now."
"Yeah… okay, I'll be surprised with Lizzy," Julia said. She giggled as her mother laughed and hugged her to her with one arm. She then said, "Oh Mommy, are you excited to go to that ball now you and Daddy are together again?"
Smiling at the question Beckett said, "Of course, it should be a great night." When Julia then started to ask what she and Castle would do when she and her sister were back in school she told her, "Probably focusing on writing before we're gone again to Japan." She wasn't surprised when the little girl started to talk excitedly about seeing everything with Mari and listened attentively though she'd heard it before. When Julia had stopped she got her ready to go since they'd finished up their tea and they headed together up to the suite the little girl shared with her grandparents and sisters.
"Your mom is going to be here soon," Castle said, watching Eliza. "And she is going to be mad."
"No," the toddler said, shaking her head firmly. "She loves me."
"Well of course she does," Martha said, coming into the room then after she had helped her son give the toddler a bath. "But you know how she feels about you bouncing on the bed."
Julia squeezed her mother's hand tightly and tried her best not to laugh as Eliza suddenly looked angry when she crossed her arms over her chest.
"She does know how I feel about that," Beckett said, looking at her youngest who looked shocked to see her there with Julia. "Sit down sweetie."
At first Eliza had been terrified that her mother was really mad but when she called her sweetie she felt a little better and quickly sat on the bed. "I wanted to bounce," she said softly as Beckett came over to her.
"She was only doing it for a while," Castle informed her.
"As long as you stopped when he told you to," Beckett said after kissing the top of Eliza's head.
"How was swimming?" the toddler asked after her father had nodded to her mother's question.
"Fun but we just swam, nothing special," Julia was quick to say.
"Come on," Beckett said to her then, taking her hand. "I'll help you get your shower ready."
When the two had disappeared into the bathroom Jim came inside and said, "Did I hear Katie?"
"She and Julia just came in," Castle told him. "She managed to get Eliza to sit down." He looked at his youngest and said, "Sorry but you shouldn't jump on the bed you and your gram are sharing."
Eliza sighed before she then brightened up and said, "Can you say about William?"
"Williamsburg," Martha corrected as Castle was getting the clothes for the toddler to wear the next day ready for her.
"And your parents want you and your sister to be surprised once we go tomorrow," Jim said as he sat on the end of the bed before Eliza leaned over on his back to his smile.
"Jules knows?" Eliza asked curiously.
"She doesn't," Castle said.
"Doesn't," the toddler pronounced slowly. She then smiled and said, "Why not?"
"You don't want to be surprised?" Jim asked.
"I… yes," Eliza said, starting to think about that before she agreed to it. "And then what?"
"We have to go," Martha said. She laughed with her son and Jim when the toddler looked a little startled and said, "Darling, it's Monday tomorrow you have school again on Tuesday."
"You know you have Spring Break coming up next," Beckett said as she and Julia left the bathroom at that moment.
"And weekends," Julia said, going to her grandfather. "But you have to stay in the city when we fly huh?"
"I have to go back to work myself," Jim said with a nod. "But I'll see you before Spring Break."
"When Grandpapa?" Eliza asked, moving around so she could sit on his lap.
"Hmm, how does the seventeenth of next month sound?" Jim said, pretending to think about it.
"But Mommy and Daddy-" Eliza began.
"He's going to San Diego remember," Beckett interrupted as she got Julia's last outfit ready for their last day out. "So your gram will stay with you."
"Speaking of that," Martha then said. "Who's staying with Brad and Lily's children?"
"They're going to be staying at Veronica's," Castle said. "They've done that once before remember and Jake and Eve are fine with it. They do like her."
"Mainly because it looks like Eve is going to be an artist of some kind," Beckett said, going over to sit with her dad. "So everyone's kids are going to have someone to watch them."
"I still think Mari could stay with us," Julia said.
"I know but her grandparents haven't seen her for a while," Beckett said as the little girl leaned against her.
"So you'll come for my birthday?" Julia asked her grandfather.
"I took the next day off so I could stay overnight," Jim said. "And spend more time with you."
"Good," Julia said. Looking at her mother she asked, "Do we need to go to bed?"
"It's not too late but we're getting up early again," Beckett replied. "It starts at nine and we want to get there as soon as we can."
"How are we going?" Jim asked.
"By car, Patrick is bringing one for us to take, one of you will have to go with Skye and Mary in the car they're using that's Joseph's," Beckett said. "And it takes about three hours to drive there so we were thinking of leaving at seven."
"Then we should all get to bed," Jim said.
"Go ahead and say goodnight," Beckett told the girls before they groaned.
"What time should we wake them up?" Martha asked, looking at her phone.
"Six thirty is fine, we're eating on the go," Castle replied.
"That's early," Julia told her sister seriously as she looked slightly confused.
"It is, is that okay with you two? It is still a vacation," Beckett said, looking at them.
"That's okay," Julia said, nodding at Eliza who still looked a little perplexed. "How long can we stay there before we have to go to the airport?"
"Until two," Castle said. When both girls then appeared surprised he said, "It's why we want to leave as soon we can. Our flight is at six."
"So we have to be there at five," Julia said.
"We do but you should know that Patrick and his family will join us at the airport to say goodbye," Castle said.
"Maddy too?" Eliza asked hopefully.
"Yes," Beckett said with a smile as the little girl then beamed at them. "So we'll see you tomorrow and we'll have fun driving down through Virginia."
"Oh we get to go to another state!" Julia nearly crowed. She then frowned and said, "What about my map? It's for the world and not here in the states."
"We'll see what we can do about that," Castle said with a quick nod. "Say goodnight to your grandpapa you two."
Taking both in his arms Jim said, "I love you Julia, Eliza sweet dreams tonight."
"Love you Grandpapa," Eliza said with a smile, kissing his cheek before they shared one.
"I love you too Grandpapa, I can't wait to go tomorrow," Julia told him.
"Me too," Jim replied. "To see what you two think." He shared a kiss with the little girl and then left telling them he was going to get ready for bed himself in the room he and Julia were sharing.
"I hope you two will fall asleep right away," Martha was then telling her granddaughters as she embraced them tightly to her. "And so you know I'll be getting into bed as soon as your parents go to their room. So goodnight Julia, Eliza and I love you both darlings."
"Love you Gram," the girls said at the same time. After they'd shared kisses with her they hugged each other and told one another goodnight.
"So you two don't love each other anymore?" Castle asked them teasingly as he sat down next to them. He smiled as they giggled and then shared quick I love yous before they threw themselves at him. He embraced them warmly and then said, "Everyone's saying get some sleep so I'll just say one thing to both of you, sweet dreams. Even that's not original though."
"What else can you say?" Julia pointed out.
"True," Castle said. "So I love you Julia," he said kissing her first. "And you too Eliza, I love you too," kissing his and Beckett's youngest next.
"Love you Daddy," Julia said, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I love you too Daddy," Eliza then said, patting his lips.
"Alright," Beckett said, smiling. "Let me say goodnight and get you two tucked in." She waited for Castle to give them a final kiss before he got up and she took his place, laughing softly when the two almost jumped on her. "I love you both too," she told them before she became serious. "And sweet dreams okay?"
"Yeah we will," Eliza said first. "Love you Mommy."
"Love you too Mommy," Julia then added. She kissed her mother's cheek before they shared kisses with her and then said, "Will you sleep okay too?"
"We'll be fine," Beckett said. "Here," she told Julia, helping her off the bed before she picked up Eliza to tuck her in. She and Castle kissed her on the forehead before they left, waving to Martha before going to the other room.
"You didn't take a shower Mommy," Julia commented when they got inside and heard the shower running.
"We have one in our room," Beckett reminded her with a smile. She hugged her to her side and then helped her onto the bed before letting Castle go over to her.
"We already said everything so… what do you want for breakfast?" he asked her.
"Daddy," Julia said, laughing softly as she saw her mother was rolling her eyes.
"We're getting something from room service," Beckett said. "Which we already ordered," she added. "So sweetie we'll see you in the morning. Help your grandparents if they need you to."
Nodding as she knew her mother was referring to the fact that they would have to finish packing as well before going; aware already that her father and grandparents had done that with hers and her sister's things while she and Beckett had been swimming; Julia said, "I will night."
"Night sweetie," Beckett said while Castle kissed the top of the little girl's head. She smiled and then went to her to tuck her in as soon as Julia was lying down. She kissed her and then waved to her father who stepped out from the bathroom then in his pajamas. When he smiled slightly and nodded to them she followed her husband out to the hall and down to their room.
"So," Castle began to say after he followed her into the bedroom once the door and do not disturb sign were set. "You're taking a shower."
"Like I told our daughter," Beckett said, smiling as she took off her watch and set it on her nightstand. Her phone joined it and she smiled at him before saying, "Want to join me?"
"Yes but… tired…" Castle said.
Unable to help smiling still at his attempt at a question Beckett told him, "I am too. So just a shower." She saw the slightly stricken look on his face and sighed saying, "How do we take a shower that's not sexual?"
"Touching is sexual," Castle pointed out. He couldn't help laughing when his wife dragged him by the arm into the bathroom and he quickly grabbed her to kiss her deeply. When they parted he told her, "Not much time for that today."
"Of course not," Beckett replied as she stepped back from him and started to unbutton her blouse. "When we get back home there'll be more time."
"I'm eager for that but I'll miss going around," Castle said, undressing himself.
Beckett didn't reply to that as she was aware her husband knew she felt the same about that. Once she was naked she went to the shower to turn on the water, unsurprised by the way her husband ran his hand over her spine. The water hot enough she then stepped under it, watching Castle following her. She went into his arms immediately, kissing him back as hard as she possibly could until they parted and he went to her neck, kissing at it hungrily. "Hmm, this'll be enough?" she asked.
Smiling as she liked to tease him with that Castle then said, "It is, we have a lot of time in the future."
"Hmm, good," Beckett replied, sighing again as he'd begun to gently suck at her racing pulse. When he stopped and pulled away she brought him with her under the water to get their hair wet and they began to clean each other off from head to toe eagerly.
A few kisses after the last of his wife's body was rinsed clean Castle sighed and said, "We have to get out." When her response to that was to turn off the water he got out first to grab her towel so he could help her dry off. He allowed her to do so with him but didn't let her get away from him once she was finished. "I wish I had the energy," he told her as he grunted when his arousal pressed in between them.
"I know I'm surprised you got as much blood there as you did," Beckett teased him.
"That was more you," Castle said with a slight smirk. "Since of course I can't really control that."
Beckett leaned up slightly before he bent his head enough so they could kiss. She forgot that she was naked, letting go of the towel she'd used to dry him off so she could hold onto him then. But when Castle abruptly pulled away from her, breathing harshly, she was concerned for an instant before she glanced down at his erection. "Do you-" she started to ask him.
"No, no," Castle replied. "Just let me… calm down okay?"
With a brief nod, as it wasn't the first time something similar to that had happened, Beckett went to get her pajamas on the counter before she dressed. She smiled as her husband; dressed himself; came to her and she said, "Remember us talking about energy?"
"I know, funny how that happens," Castle said. "But that went away really quickly."
Beckett laughed softly and then kissed him gently on the cheek before they brushed their teeth and hair, going out to the bed once they were done. "So your last three entries," she told him, taking the journal from the drawer in the nightstand.
"Nothing special in these," Castle said, watching as she lingered for a moment at the entry he'd written when he'd been intoxicated.
"You don't have to be drunk to write something romantic," Beckett replied absently. "Or sappy," she added, looking up at him and smiling.
Castle shook his head, though he was smiling and then watched her turn the page to what he'd written on the seventh. "This one-" he started to say.
"Shh," Beckett told him quickly. "No spoilers."
"Sorry," Castle said.
"Let me read," Beckett said then. "I should start," she began reading at the start of the entry after glancing at his writing her name as his intro into the writing. "By saying sorry about last night. I read back over what I wrote but it's not an apology about what I said, instead that I wrote it while wasted. But I suppose I should be glad I was since it allowed me to tell you what I feel about you. I guess I poured out my heart and soul to you. Don't! Don't roll your eyes because I can just see you wanting to but it's how I feel about you." She stopped there, since it was the end of his first paragraph, and said, "Rick, don't assume you know me that well."
"That was a just in case move," Castle replied, smiling widely at her. When she laughed and shook her head he waited for her to stop before brushing his lips against hers. He had only intended to kiss her once but couldn't stop himself from kissing her again a little deeper that time. Once they'd stopped he then told her, "Keep going, there's more."
"I can see that," Beckett said, using a mock annoyed tone though she couldn't really follow through with it fully. She then turned her attention to the rest of the entry and read out loud from the second paragraph.
Now that I've taken care of that I don't really have much to say today. Except I guess that it was boring here… I'm thinking already of DC and what we'll do there. I wish we could go for a little longer but we'll have the chance in the future of course. I told you already that I was able to have some time to relax today since my book signing was it and I'm finished now. So I took the chance to sleep and did so for a very long time and if you're thinking already that I dreamt about you then you're right.
These dreams were back and forth for a while, first they were very sexual and then very sedate; usually just us kissing each other. I had to lie for a while, counting as I looked up at the ceiling of the room I'm in now since I didn't want to start things before you called me. But those dreams… that first scene I should tell you about.
I was lying in a room, nothing really discernible about it though I was on a bed which was of course important. You walked up to me and I watched you circle me a few times before I was able to stop you with my hand. I pulled you onto me and we kissed, a deep kiss that reminded me that it was a dream when we parted and both of us were naked. We came together and it was… amazing…
Beckett smiled as after that last word there was a stray mark and she cupped her husband's face for a moment before she then read the last sentence that she could easily tell he'd written in a hurry. "I need to talk to you, badly, I have to go love," she read. "Interesting."
"I know, I keep forgetting to tell you about my dreams," Castle said.
"Why don't we wait until we're home? That way we can recreate them then?" Beckett asked him with a smile.
"Are you sure? I had a lot of them," Castle said.
"And then we can recreate mine," Beckett said with a slight smirk as her reply to him.
Shuddering Castle then said, "Are you going to keep going?"
"There are only two entries left," Beckett said easily. She went to the entry on the eighth and read, "In transit again and at this point I'm done. I give up Kate I shouldn't have gone on this tour and left you and the girls. I miss all of you but you especially, something's off with me and it's because you're not with me. I just want to have you close, not necessarily with me, but just close enough to know that it won't take us too long to be together."
Castle reached for his wife at that since that was part of his first paragraph, holding her close to him as he recalled very easily what she was going to read next. "Remember you're the love of my life," he murmured against the side of her head quickly as she paused for breath.
"I know, you're mine too Rick," Beckett said. She turned her attention back to the page and then began reading again.
I think at this point there's no reason to deny to you that you own me Kate and I went into our wedding knowing fully that was going to happen. It wasn't just the fact that we were beginning a family together with Julia and Eliza but that I had needed you since that first day we met. I fell in love with you that night I met you Kate and I have loved you since then.
Beckett trailed off then and she looked at him before he looked away, clearing his throat. She knew he didn't want to talk about that just yet so she began again wondering what they'd say to each other after that entry.
I know you don't believe in love at first sight and neither do I but something happened when I first saw you. I'll never forget the feeling because I've never come across that before in my life with any woman. It was as if I'd taken a step away from myself but of course that's not possible, it's just what it felt like. I beg you, don't roll your eyes at this, but I swear it was my soul finding your own though I have my doubts you'll agree you felt the same way that night.
There has to be a brief, instantaneous moment when two people have that shock I'm convinced now. And that's when they know they've found their soul mate though of course, not right away. Thinking about it after I realized I wasn't with you just for inspiration or because I wanted to get you into bed with me- that one it became making love to you with the hopes we could be so much rougher than the gentler pace there is sometimes. I realized that I'd fallen in love with you. So… I'm going to be a little anxious at the thought of you reading this so you know but I have to tell you. It's why this distance is killing me; I need you close by my love to feel that satisfaction that comes from feeling our love and seeing you. I love you, deeply, desperately and endlessly.
"Endlessly?" Beckett asked since there the entry ended.
"That's what you have an issue with?" Castle asked in surprise. When she just smiled at him he cleared his throat before saying, "What… have you thought about this?"
"All the time," Beckett said. She closed the book for a moment and then said with a sigh, "I did fall in love with you then as well I just had to discover it." She began to speak but then hesitated, looking at her husband before he spoke instead.
"I know love," Castle said, rubbing her back gently. "You don't believe that soul thing I told you about but it was something."
"I'll agree with that," Beckett said. "I would say," she then began with a smile. "That it was my wanting you in my bed but that would be an insult."
"How about if we say that that was part of it?" Castle suggested. He wasn't surprised when his wife laughed a little and then kissed her before he asked, "Want to keep going?"
"I'd love to," Beckett said, picking the journal back up before she opened it to the last entry; the day they'd known she was joining him in DC early. "So the strife we've both been through," she began to read at that point. "Is over Kate, you're coming to meet me here in DC and I couldn't be happier."
I'm so impatient for tomorrow that I find myself constantly looking at the time but luckily I'm schooling myself now not to do that too often. But I'm already imagining you in my arms again; just a hug not a cheesy metaphorical thing; and yes us intimate again though that's going to have to wait. I wish it hadn't been a murder that brought us back together but when hasn't it not been that? Oh wait, that one time you came to my loft, that was it.
I'm so eager you'd be saying it was the twelve year old in me but I'm going to disagree. It's the part of me that's desperately in love with you and needs you again. I just hope I can control myself once I see you again. But I still miss the girls, badly, I don't want you to think that I'm only focusing on you. I miss everyone, badly too, I love my family greatly.
So tomorrow when I see you at JFK I hope I convey how much I've wanted to see you, if I start weeping or kissing at your feet then I'm completely drunk again. But let me at least kiss you… wait, I'm talking to you in my head, sorry. I'm looking at the time and you'll be calling soon, we'll be talking. So now's the time to finish this up, it's kind of a sad journal but hopefully it reiterates what I've told you so many times; I adore you Kate Beckett.
At that point Beckett was startled to see two lines from a poem that he'd translated into Irish and she said, "Really?"
"It felt appropriate to end there," Castle said with a smile since they'd placed those two lines at the end of the last book of their wedding photos they'd made. Kissing her cheek he said, "What do you think?"
"It's sweet and I again wish I'd written one to you so you'd know I love you this much too, that I adore you," Beckett replied. She closed the book and after setting it down on the nightstand she turned to him, throwing her arms around his neck. As he grabbed her to pull her closer to him she kissed him as hard as she possibly could. Moaning deeply as that kiss seemed to mean more after reading everything he'd written to her, she got a sudden idea but turned her attention back to the kiss at that moment. Their tongues tangling they soon parted and once they had she kissed his cheek before jumping off the bed.
"Kate-" Castle started to say when she called back for him to wait. He sat there until he saw her returning with a pen in hand. Still confused he watched her get the journal again before furiously starting to write. He did as she asked and waited for her to finish, looking around the room awkwardly and impatiently as he could only imagine what she was writing.
Filling in a page with three paragraphs Beckett tossed aside the pen and handed the book to her husband. "Go ahead and read it's your turn," she told him when he looked at her questioningly.
"I suppose," Castle started to say as he began her first sentence. "That writing this here with you next to me isn't the same as what you did with this journal but it'll have to do for the time being."
Through our time apart, nine full days in all, I found myself missing you but it became a lot stronger than that. I've never used this word before but I began to yearn for you. You know what yearn means already right? I looked up the word when I realized how strong my missing you had become and have it memorized. It's to have a strong desire for somebody, especially when the desire involves sadness in some form. That explains what I was feeling perfectly so that little more than a week was the longest of my life.
But we're back together now and I am all the words that are synonyms with joyful. I don't have a thesaurus on me so of course can't look up those words but you know already how I feel. You mentioned a dream of yours so I'll tell you mine that I remember vividly out of all the ones I had. You came to me as we were alone at home; that was what they all had in common, you at home with me and us alone that was always the biggest thing I noticed. But I was in the kitchen, doing something at the sink that doesn't matter to me now. You grasped me, held me against you to show me how aroused you were for me, saying my name. You were groaning it as if I was something appetizing and you wanted to devour me. And I wanted that. I wanted you to eat me, possess me, take everything you desired from me because I knew already that you would worship me every last second we had together while you did that. And you did so in that dream. We moved somehow to our bed in the blink of an eye and we were making love before we slid into fucking each other. It became rough and hard and my body literally sang to you- if bodies could do that I'm sure it would have screamed your name too- the evidence of you all over me as you sucked, bit and kissed me. I woke up orgasming so fiercely that I would have passed out if I wasn't alone. That was what I felt I need you to know.
Why mention that now when we're about to sleep? Because. There's no other reason and I would laugh here if I didn't want to finish this for you. What we have I will always treasure and need. I need you Rick, unlike any other man I have ever known. I love you and desire you even now when I'm fatigued from our day with our girls. I'm watching you read this so look up at me now, close the book, give it to me and wait.
Castle did exactly as she'd instructed before she turned back to him once the journal was on the bed again. There wasn't much surprise to him when she climbed onto his lap and they were very quickly involved in a heavy, passionate kiss as they held onto each other tightly. He wasn't sure how long they were involved with one another like that, only that when they parted he was nearly breathless. "I love you Kate, I have to say it," he then told her as they pressed their foreheads against each other.
Smiling Beckett said, "I love you too Rick." She then leaned against him before saying, "I have more dreams I remember so I'll tell you about them too."
"Can I do that? What we did in that dream?" Castle asked her.
Beckett smiled again as she'd been expecting him to ask her that and she told him, "Yes, but when we're alone."
"Perfect, thank you," Castle told her seriously. He then kissed her again before they held onto one another as tightly as they could. He held her body close, caressing every part of it that he could until they were taking quick breaths. "Never again love," he said as they gently nuzzled their noses against each other.
"Hmm, not if we can help it," Beckett replied.
The two shared one more ardent kiss before they slowly pulled away from one another and got underneath the covers. It took them a little more time before they were falling asleep and they spent that moment talking to each other about anything and everything, kissing now and then because the journal reminded them that they could. They remained in each other's arms that night, looking forward to going home the next day since they would be doing so together.
