The Departure
Poppy withdrew further. Minerva vaguely noticed her step back but it barely registered. She was looking at Poppy without really seeing her. Something else was happening.
As Poppy had been speaking Minerva had felt her chest fill again with that same overwhelming pressure. She could feel it pushing against her ribs like a deadly creature straining against the bars of its cage in attempts to escape. She had tried to ignore it at first but it was becoming too intense. Then her vision had started to grow dark around the edges as though a thick, black fog was closing in, obscuring more and more of the landscape around her.
That was when Poppy had begun to step away, but Minerva was distracted. She blinked once, twice, three times, but each time the darkness grew, shrouding more of her sight.
She could feel Dumbledore still beside her and turned her head. Then she saw the reason for Poppy's retreat with her own eyes. Dumbledore's eyes were almost completely black, as though the iris and pupil were being submerged under a surrounding film that was growing over them. There was a tiny glimmer of blue in the centre which the blackness had not yet conquered. Minerva barely had time to register her shock when her vision disappeared completely and she was left with nothing but total darkness.
The atmosphere changed around her. She could no longer feel the cold nip of the night air, nor hear the rustling of the wind in the trees of the Forbidden Forest or the ripples over the lake. It was as though the world had silenced itself and disappeared.
Then Dumbledore's voice floated unruffled over Minerva's heavy, anxious breathing.
"Poppy, get back inside, please, quickly. Do not worry. Minerva and I will be fine. There is nothing to be afraid of.
"Minerva." She heard his voice become slightly louder as she imagined him turning to her. "This may be an element of productum intumesco that Mr. Horendus had not predicted. Do not be alarmed. We will take it in our stride, as we always do."
Minerva grew calmer with Dumbledore's words. He did not seem troubled by the strange turn of events, so she would not be. As her breathing slowed she noticed that something had changed in her vision. Before, it was as though all the light had gone from the world, but now a murky outline was becoming more and more visible and the figure of Dumbledore began to form before her very eyes.
He was simply a dull grey mass at first, but then the colours of his robes began to leak through and spread like ink in water. The features on his face became more and more detailed and his eyes, the last to be defined, were blue again, and calm.
He blinked and looked back at Minerva; then his eyes wandered past her. She turned her head to her right side, then her left as she looked around her. They could have been in the pitch black of space for all they could see. Only their figures shed any light or colour on the scene.
"Where are we?" Minerva asked.
"We are still in the grounds, I think," Dumbledore replied confidently. "It is our vision that had done this, not a change in location. Our eyes and ears seem to be blocking everything out but each other. Do you feel all right?" he asked.
"My chest feels… unusual," Minerva finished lamely. It was hard to describe the pressure that was still pressing persistently against her ribcage.
"I have been feeling that too," Dumbledore told her. "Are you in pain?"
"Not any more," she answered. "It's just uncomfortable. Albus, what is going on?"
The silence all around them was starting to make Minerva feel apprehensive.
"I'm not sure," he replied. We might have to –"
He stopped. Minerva felt it too. A sharp stabbing pain had shot through her chest and she had tried to cry out but no sound would come because her throat was suddenly restricted. She couldn't breathe and the shooting stab came again, but worse this time, forcing her hands to clench into fists. She closed her eyes tightly as she felt the constraint at her throat intensify. She couldn't think clearly. Several seconds past in which she tried to breathe in. It was as though something was pushing against her throat, squeezing it tightly and blocking her airway.
The sharp pain pierced through Minerva's chest again and she fell to the floor, unable to hold herself up any longer. She was loosing all sense of time and space as she began to feel dizzy and disoriented. She was focusing solely on trying to breathe, but the air would not penetrate past her throat, not matter how hard she tried to breathe in.
She felt more than heard Dumbledore collapse next to her. Still with her eyes closed and trying to breathe with all her might, Minerva's hand slowly crawled across the ground in search of Dumbledore. Her fingers found the sleeve of his robes. She moved them down in search of his hand, but her chest was overwhelmed with another agonising shot of pain and her fingers gripped the material of his robes tightly and held on, motionless.
Suddenly, Minerva felt something touch her clenched fist. Dumbledore's other hand had found hers, and his strong fingers wrapped around it. Air rushed to Minerva's lungs as she took a huge gasping breath in. Her airway had suddenly opened and she lay on the ground coughing and spluttering and taking in huge gulps of air, Dumbledore's hand still clamped powerfully over her fist. She could hear him coughing too, and breathing heavily by her side. The pain in her chest had stopped and she waited for it to stab through her body once again; but it never came.
They lay on the black ground, breathing heavily but not longer having to endure their chests feeling as thought they were about to explode. After a few minutes Dumbledore spoke.
"I think Mr. Horendous may have to revise his theory, don't you, Minerva?" he said, still quite breathless.
If Minerva could spare the energy to roll her eyes she would have done. How he could be flippant at a time like this was beyond her.
"Well, he got the first part right," Minerva replied.
"Perhaps," Dumbledore said mysteriously.
Minerva sat up slowly and she saw Dumbledore do the same, but noticed that he still kept a very tight hold on her hand.
"Are you all right?" she asked him, rubbing her throat with her free hand.
"Yes," he replied quietly. "Are you?"
Minerva nodded.
"It doesn't make sense though," she said after a few seconds of trying to catch her breath. "Body contact seems to be the main cause for any magic that occurs between us because of the bond. But now it seems to be the thing that stops it. That is why you're not letting go, I take it?" she said, looking down at his hand firmly gripping hers.
"It is," Dumbledore replied. "But you must remember, Minerva, that any magic we have done before now when we have touched has not been harmful or dangerous in any way. It was safe magic. I am merely guessing, of course, but I believe that productum intumesco may be the beginning of something far worse. Kalypto said that the bond will consume us and now it has gone beyond our control as a result of productum intumesco and the magic occurs when we have no contact at all. But, as we are still yet witnessing, our touch has remained safe. I think it is the one thing that grounds the magic."
"But we can't hold hands for the rest of our lives, Albus," Minerva said, taking comfort from absolutely none of Dumbledore's speculations, particularly as the profound darkness was still surrounding them.
"You see our problem as well then," he replied with a smile. "I do not think that physical contact will be necessary at all times. But the air is still heavy with deep magic and I do not think it safe to let go just yet."
They stood up together slowly, very careful not to let their hands break apart. Neither wanted to experience that excruciating pain again. Dumbledore was the first to stand and pulled Minerva the rest of the way until she stood opposite him once more.
Her chest was still burning, but the sting didn't seem so bad after what she had just been subjected to. She looked up at him and saw his sad eyes glistening. She knew what he was thinking. If neither of them carried out the Disunion then this was what awaited both of them – agonising pain over which they had little control. And it was clear that it would get a lot worse. What would happen when the time came when their touch did nothing, when it didn't stop the pain? Was it worth putting each other through this when there was a way that one could escape it, even if it meant destroying their natural bond? Minerva thought not. She did not want to think of Dumbledore suffering until the bond consumed him when there was a chance that he could avoid it, just as he did not want to think of her the same way.
"The Disunion is the lesser of two evils, I think, Minerva. One of us will have to do it and I am at a loss as to how we go about it. I have made up my mind and am as unyielding as I see you are."
The blackness still surrounded them and she could see it pressing against Dumbledore's frame.
"I wish you would just let me do it freely, Albus, as was originally planned," Minerva said with quiet hopelessness.
The edges of Dumbledore's figure seemed to be blurring. Minerva frowned and saw him do the same as his eyes skirted around her own body.
"Hold tight to me, Minerva," he said urgently. "We do not know what is to come."
Minerva watched as Dumbledore's figure was absorbed into blackness. She held tight to his hand as he had said, but it seemed that she could never squeeze it tight enough. It seemed to be fading beneath her clutch. She spoke his name but the word sounded far off even to her own ears. Everything seemed to be fading away.
And then, quite suddenly, Minerva felt pressure on her back and from the back of her head all the way to her heels. She blinked and saw colour, though she couldn't quite make out what it was or where. She couldn't feel Dumbledore's hand at all now but she still grasped the air in front of her and didn't loosen her hold.
The blackness was fading. The light she could see was getting stronger and stronger. It was a warm light, the colour of fire. She blinked again and tried to focus. It was difficult, but after a while she did notice a difference, and when her vision cleared Minerva recognised where she was. She was no longer standing in the grounds of Hogwarts, but lying in her own bed in her own chamber with the fire flaming in the grate and the candlelight flickering around her. Poppy Pomphrey was perched on the edge of a chair by the bed sitting upright and looking alert and anxious.
"Minerva?" she said forcefully, but quietly.
"Mmm," Minerva mumbled, finally dropping her hands to rest at her side, Dumbledore was no longer in front of her. She closed her eyes again; her head was throbbing and the dull ache in her chest was still very present. Minerva raised a hand to her face and pushed her fingers against her eyes whilst saying, "Where's Albus?"
"He's sleeping," Poppy replied.
Minerva's immediate reaction was to look to her right, but, apart from herself, her bed lay empty.
"In his own chamber," Poppy added forcefully with a raised eyebrow. "How are you feeling, Minerva?"
"What happened?" Minerva asked, preferring to avoid Poppy's question for now.
"It was very scary!" she exclaimed, as though Minerva was to blame. "Your eyes went completely black. So did Dumbledore's. Then he told me to go back inside, which I did not do!" she added defiantly. "I saw him turn to you and then suddenly you were both – I don't know I've never seen anything like it."
"What, Poppy?" Minerva pressed insistently, even though Poppy was looking uncharacteristically shaken.
"It was like you were both crying but your tears were completely black, like doxycide. And they didn't fall down your faces either, they sort of drifted out into the air. Yours went towards Dumbledore and his towards you. Then there was just a long stream of black droplets moving between your eyes. I didn't know what it was, Minerva, so I didn't dare come any closer because, for all I know, you could have been hurt if I had broken the magic.
"You stayed like that and were completely silent for a long time without anything else happening," Poppy continued. "Then the tears just stopped. The last of his flowed into your eyes and yours into his. Something else must have happened that knocked you out, though, because Filius had to catch you both with a spell before you hit the floor."
Minerva found she had sat up during Poppy's report and lay back down on the bed, her mind full of confusion. Why should what Poppy have seen been different from what she, Minerva, thought had occurred? Was this something to do with the bond too? She needed to talk to Dumbledore.
"Minerva, you need to rest!" Poppy cried sharply as Minerva made to climb out of her bed. Poppy physically pushed her back down and handed her a glass of something that smelled strongly of pepper. "Drink it!"
Minerva most certainly did not want whatever it was, but Poppy had actually raised the glass to Minerva's lips before she had any chance to protest. Poppy had had much experience in Minerva's refusal of healing potions, and she had obviously come up with a different tack to make her accept them – force.
The potion was disgustingly sweet and tasted nothing like it smelt, but it did cure Minerva's headache mercifully quickly. However, it also made her instantly drowsy – something Minerva did not want at that moment.
"It'll make you feel better, but drowsiness is a side effect," Poppy said unnecessarily. "I'll come back in a few hours," Poppy's voice had become vague, but Minerva caught her words just before she succumbed to the sleep that was pressing in on her.
She was walking along the corridor. She could see Dumbledore standing ahead of her, facing left and staring at the wall as if there was a window was there that he was looking out of. As she reached him he turned to her. His eyes were completely white. He spoke, but instead of his soft, kind voice, a woman's harsh, scratchy voice emerged.
"You cannot know everything about the other. You do not know his plans," said the voice from his lips.
Dumbledore's hair became dark as night and his long beard shrank into his face. He was transformed and now it was Kalypto who stood before Minerva.
"He is not here," Kalypto said, her voice grating in Minerva's ears.
Minerva felt a cold hand on her shoulder. She turned and Sally stood before her, just as pale and drawn as before, but this time she spoke. Her voice was a whisper, as weak and frail as her appearance.
"He is gone."
Minerva awoke with a jolt, her eyes shooting open and her hand already on its way to the wand on her bedside. Poppy had not returned. Minerva had no idea how long she had been sleeping; she hoped it had not been long. She was wide awake. Rushing from her rooms, thankful that Poppy had not had the mind to change her from her day robes, Minerva hurried to Dumbledore's quarters already knowing what she would find.
She reached the entrance and moved aside a tapestry that depicted the feats of Merlin and began to walk down a short corridor that seemingly led to a dead end. She spoke the password ("mint humbugs") quietly and the wall ahead dissolved before her very eyes revealing the living quarters of the headmaster.
Minerva raced through the cosily lit, completely circular living room to the only door of the room, opposite, which boasted four door handles. She seized the bottom one and pulled hard. She had always disliked the heaviness of the door but tonight, in her desperation, she opened it with ease.
She was greeted by a narrow stone bridge that crossed high over the centre of the bedroom below and ended at the top of a spiral stone staircase that led down into the room. She peered over the left edge of the little bridge. The hangings surrounding the large bed were open. Minerva's stomach dropped; the bed was empty, as she knew it would be.
Turning fast on her heel, Minerva rushed back into the Roundroom. The section of wall she had entered his quarters through dissolved immediately for her when she approached. She pushed the tapestry open forcefully and sped down the corridor that would take her to Dumbledore's office, her last futile hope.
The stone gargoyle looked challengingly at her as it always did, but it jumped aside obligingly when it heard the password, and Minerva stepped hastily onto the top step of the revolving spiral staircase as it appeared behind the dividing wall.
As she willed the staircase to move faster she stood anxiously on the spot, hoping beyond all hope that she was wrong; that her dream had just been a dream, and the fact that she couldn't feel Dumbledore's presence was because of the physical exertion they had both just suffered.
She reached the door to Dumbledore's office and knocked, praying that his voice would answer. There was silence.
"No," Minerva said quietly, but, in her distress, was not conscious that she had spoken at all. She pushed open the door and let herself in. The office was dark and empty. And she finally accepted what she already knew – Dumbledore had left for the Disunion.
