My dear little broccolis💚💚💚
~ So remember that Jace is five years older than Clary in this Fic, and the story is rated M. (I am not removing this warning ever, because some people forgot on other fanfics, and got shocked 60 chapters into the story)
~ Anyway, enjoy the chapter
Love, Mina💚💚💚
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Chapter 27: Moral Dilemma (4,9K)
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CHECK AT THE VERY END‼️
💚 So, about the fact that I am so late. My sister-in-law came to France, and …. Well, I get along very well with her, so I spent time with her. What a shocker, I know. But I had a wonderful time, and do not feel sorry for not writing … but I feel sorry for not letting you know. So, SORRY.
💚 So, about last chapter, know that Valentine comes from a life very different than ours (except if you are from a family of mobsters). I never claimed that he was a good guy in this story, actually, from the start, I stated that both he and Jace were mobsters who liked their position of power. This story is rated M for the lemons, but also for the world it is set in. You have to know that worse than this will happen. I do not condone the man, but I understand where he comes from. He is short tempered, and I made a point on showing that with Maryse's story. He goes after her uncle minutes after he sees that she is molested. Valentine protects those who are dear to him, and his world, the best way to take care of a problem, is a definite way: death.
💚Also, about the bone Hodge threw to Jace, it is about Jon. Just before dying, Hodge tried to 'save his life' by accusing Valentine to take care of Jace out of guilt for what he did to someone. And this is something that Jace had ignored until now. He did not care, because it did not bother him. And even now, he only cares for Clary's sake.
💚 Now, about this chapter, I don't know why, but I rewrote it twice. The first take of this chapter was supposed to be Magnus's point-of-view, and it was pretty great. well, I think it was. But afterward, I have this idea to add the Michigan conversation, and I don't like splitting point-of-view within a chapter, so I had to rewrite this whole chapter, and add a few things. I know it is definitely shorter than the previous one, but I had to stop where I stopped, for obvious reasons.
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Jace's PoV
For a long moment, Jace remained silent, trying to process what Valentine had just told him about himself. It wasn't that he was really surprised (he had been suspecting much ever since he couldn't find anything about Jonathan Morgenstern), but hearing the words coming out of Valentine's mouth gave them a sense of inescapable reality. And finally, the gravity of the situation came down to him,
"You killed your son!"
Valentine did not peep a word, his gaze steady on Jace who still had a hard time believing what he just heard. It wasn't much that he had a problem with Valentine ending someone's life, but more with the fact that Valentine was a family man who killed his own son. There was something wrong n this equation. And what made it even worst to Jace was the fact that he knew he wouldn't have reacted this way if it wasn't for Clary.
If he were honest with himself, he had been bracing himself for that outcome, and it didn't really bother him. After all, one did not become a fierce mobster by handing flyers about unicorns and rainbows. But this whole affair didn't have anything to do with him, and everything to do with Clary. Jace was sure that had he not been in a relationship with Clary and Agent Graymark had given him this file, he would have laughed it off with Valentine. He wouldn't even had brought the same way he did, he would have probably gone more nonchalant about it.
But the thing was, he was with Clary. And more than his relationship with her, he gave her his word that he would look for her brother. Now, how was he supposed to tell her that she would never see him again, because her father killed him years ago?
"What was wrong with having him institutionalised?" He accused, uselessly wishing that Valentine wold have hoped for that less drastic option where Clary could still see her brother well and alive.
"I protected my daughter,' Valentine retorted, his voice far more calmer than Jace's, and his eyes still on the young man, intense and calculating.
"By killing your son! Don't you see how wrong this is?! How many times did you ramble to me that family is what matters most?" Jace snapped back as he started pacing, his mind unable to think of anything else than his boss's daughter.
Clary did not talk often about her brother, even after she asked Jace to look for him. But still, the few times she mentioned her sibling, Jace could tell how much she missed him, and how much she still cared for that person that had deserted her, even after all those years.
Valentine did not move from his chair, his gaze following Jace as he was going in circles in his office, and he lightly said, "Family is what matters most. But this isn't something for you to worry. This is my burden, and I learnt to live with it. I know that this is something that will eat me until my dying breath, and I'm okay with it."
"No, you're not. Or you would have told your daughter long ago," Jace snorted before he could even think his words.
As soon as they escaped his mouth, he regretted them, though he kept his face unreadable. He kept on pacing, feeling Valentine's gaze on him intensify, and cursing himself for yet another split in front of Valentine. He knew it would appear as nothing to Valentine, since he knew nothing of the relationship between him and Clary, but still, Jace didn't like feeling himself out of control, even for a few seconds.
"So, Clary is the one who told you about Jonathan," Valentine muttered, a hint of amusement tinting his voice and making Jace stop his pacing to look straight into the man's brown eyes, as he replied with all the confidence in the world,
"This file comes from that FBI agent who thinks that sharing with me parts of your past, will make me bend his way."
For the next few seconds, they had a silent clash, during which Valentine was daring Jace to stay in his lie. And though Jace knew he was dangerously playing with words, he stayed on his positions, for he knew that he never denied Valentine's statement, and only omitted part of the truth.
"You mean to tell me, that Clary who knew her brother better than anyone and knew his passion for France, didn't try to try to find her brother while in Paris?" Valentine challenged, his eyebrow up while a s small smirk crept on his face.
Jace did not let that destabilised him, keeping his features cool and composed, even though he knew that he had cornered himself at a dead-end. For a mere second, he wondered if Valentine had known all along about Clary and him, and simply waited the opportune moment to take the matter in his own hands. After all, they were alone in his office, and why else would Valentine tell him about his darkest secret?
"She may, or may not have asked for me to look for her brother," He declared, opting for once again a veiled sample of the truth. It wasn't much a lie, but it wasn't as straightforward as he usually was with Valentine.
For a brief moment, Jace thought that he saw sadness in his boss's face, but that was quickly replaced by Valentine's usual mask. The older man cleared his throat, leaning a bit on his office, which did not go unnoticed by Jace who was still waiting to see if his mentor would pull his gun.
"And now that you found out what happened to him?"
"She asked me to find him, not what happened to him," Jace said with a cold voice, though if he were honest with himself, he still didn't know what he would tell the redhead.
Valentine longly looked at him with that way that Jace disliked so much, for it made him feel bare in front of his boss, and finally, the kingpin said, "I buried him in Michigan, where his mother was from. Under the name of Peter Jackson."
Jace took in the information, perfectly aware that Valentine did not give this as a free ride. There was something else behind this, even though he could not see it yet.
"Now that you know where he is, what are you going to tell Clary?" Valentine questioned, and Jace could swear that he heard a quiver in Valentine's voice.
He longly stared in his boss's eyes, before ostensibly trying his back on him, and leaving his office, without saying a word.
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Jace's PoV
As Magnus came into his house, Jace finally opened his eyes. He had been eating for his friend to come home for most of the evening, and a good part of the afternoon. Jace actually rarely came to Magnus's place. Not because it was in a bad part of town, but because he knew that Magnus liked to be alone in that special place. It was the house that saw him rise from the dirt, and this was the reason why Magnus never tried to move out, and actually bought the house when he had enough money.
When Magnus came into his living room, he silently watched Jace, not saying a word and hiding his surprise of seeing his best friend in his house. Jace waited for the Asian man to come and sit next to him, but once he did, he wasn't sure anymore if he made the right choice to come to him.
"Did she break up with you," Magnus asked when Jace had remained silent for over five minutes. Jace frowned, surprised that his friend had this particular trail of thoughts, and shook his head, clarifying,
"I just saw Valentine, and … for the first time in my life, I'm not sure of what to do."
Magnus patiently waited for Jace to explain what he meant, but the thing was, Jace was not sure of what Magnus already knew or not. He was threading on thin ice, and he did not want to pull Magnus down with him, if he were to fall.
"Earlier today, I had an FBI agent giving me a file. He's the one I told you about, and he probably thought that giving me informations about a certain person would make me more lenient toward his cause. The name on the file was Jonathan."
Carefully, he studied Magnus's reaction, and it became obvious to Jace that Magnus had known for a long time that Clary used to have a brother. Jace could even tell that Magnus had a fairly good idea of what happened to the young man.
"Why didn't you ever tell me about him?" Jace asked, and Magnus shrugged, pouring himself some ice tea.
"First of all, it is not my place. This is all Morgenstern business. Second, I never knew anything for sure. I know that Valentine had a son, and that one day, that son 'ran away'. But I also saw Valentine drink from a whiskey of his son's birth year a few days after the kid's 'disappearance', and he never really looked for him. If Clary were to run away, she would be found within the hour. Same with his Godchildren."
Jace nodded, sure that if he had been in Magnus's shoes, he would have put two and two together, and just like his friend, he would have kept it for himself. Like Magnus said, it was not his business.
"So? Why are you questioning yourself over this?" Magnus asked, and Jace lowered a bit his head, so he could rest his forehead on his knuckles.
"I have known about Valentine having a son for quite a while. Since Paris. Where Clary asked me personally to find her brother …"
For a moment, Magnus stayed quiet, understanding what Jace had been thinking about ever since Valentine dropped that bomb on him. Should he stay loyal to his boss, like he had been all these years, and keep the secret for himself, pretending that he hadn't been able to find Clary's brother? Or should he stay true to his word, and let Clary know the truth, crushing the remains of her family in the process?
"This was bound to happen Jace," Magnus finally said, making Jace snap his head up to glare at him. "It was. You are in a relationship with two people who want your loyalty, and you keep one of those relationship a secret. You were bound to find yourself in the middle at some point. And I don't think you came to me to advise you what you should do. It is not wether you should tell Clary or not, it is about to whom your allegiance is stronger. Clary or Valentine."
As he realised that Magnus was right, Jace got off the couch with temper, and paced through the living room. It was a dead end in both situation. If he told Clary, he was betraying Valentine and the trust the man had built in him over the past decade. If he was withheld the truth from Clary, it was her trust that he was destroying, before he could even be build on a solid basis.
There was no easy way out from this one. It wasn't the same situation as with Hodge and when Clary had asked about him. Jace naturally eluded the answer, and Clary had had the good sense not to push the issue. And in this particular situation, Jace did not feel like betraying one person or the other, since Valentine never said anything about it.
It was obvious for the young man that Valentine did not want his daughter to find out what really happened to her brother. Like he told Jace, he learnt to live with the guilt, and Jace highly suspected that Valentine felt like he was in the same situation that he has been with his wife. He was too afraid to lose his daughter's love to be straightforward about what happened. Even if he was only protecting her.
"If it can help you, I never told Alec," Magnus said, making Jace stop with his incessant pacing to look at him. "When things started to be a bit more than friendly between us, Alec asked if I knew what really happened to Jon. Jon was his best friend growing up, and he found it suspicious that a man like Valentine couldn't find his missing son, especially with all the resources he has."
"So you lied to your partner?" Jace asked, rising an eyebrow, because the two of them were perfectly aware that this was not an option for him.
Jace did not like to lie to the people he personally interacted with. Even with people he did not consider as close friends like Kaelie and Jordan, he avoided to lie to the most. He often eluded, or omitted the truth. But that was different that a straight lie to someone's face. Especially when that someone was Clary.
"No. I said that I did not know what happened to Jon, because I don't. I used the grey line. I suspect, but Alec doesn't need to know what I suspect, and maybe Clary doesn't either."
Jace had a dark chuckle, sitting back next to his friend and letting him know, "I am not like you, Magnus. I know exactly what happened to Jonathan Morgenstern, and why."
"Don't tell me!" Magnus precipitately said. Jace kept his lips sealed, understanding that the least Magnus knew, the more he could deny anything concerning that situation.
"I just wish I hadn't given my word to Clary," Jace groaned out in frustration, throwing his head backward.
"This never would have come up, if you had listened to me in the first place," Magnus admonished, earning a death glare from Jace.
This was a recurring conversation between the two of them, and the more they talked about it, the more Magnus warned Jace that there were ways to be hurt that did not involve physical pain. And each and very time Magnus said those things, Jace stubbornly staid on his position, saying that he was fine as it was.
"I don't want to have this conversation again, Magnus! My relationship with Clary is not the problem here. You don't want to go down that road with me," Jace warned, not in the mood to listen to yet another lecture from his friend. He knew that Magnus meant well, and he had to admit that he had some very solid and compelling arguments. But … there was something preventing him to stop things with Clary, and pushed him to take things even further with her.
"This is just a small thing, Jace. But how are you going to feel, when Valentine orders you to ice someone who turns out to be one of her acquaintances. Or when Clary will ask something of you that goes against what Valentine taught you. If you want to keep that relationship with her, you have to come out of the closet. It is not healthy to have a secret relationship to begin with."
"Aren't you being a bit hypocritical?" Jace asked with venom, annoyed that Magnus always ended up being the voice of reason. Especially when he usually shut that voice down so easily, when it wasn't personified by his best friend.
Magnus froze for a moment, realising that he wasn't as white of a sheep as he pretended to be, and stuttered, "It's … it's not the same. Alec and I … we … it's not something that —"
"Don't you dare tell me that it won't last. We both know how you feel about that man, and we both know that, contrarily to me, you're the one who doesn't want to come out of the closet," Jace accused, though he immediately felt bad when he saw Magnus's shoulders sink. He questioned him with a look, and Magnus confessed,
"I think it is over between Alec and I."
"Because of —"
"No. He thinks I'm having an affair with Kaelie. He saw me a couple of times with her after I cancelled on him, and he knows I spend most of my days with her. And since I can't really tell him what I do with her, he assumed the worst, sensing that I wasn't straightforward with him."
"But … you're gay. Why would Alec even assume there is anything sexual between you and Kaelie?" Jace mused, baffled that this would be the reason of a fallout between Alec and Magnus. Magnus looked down on his joined hands, and breathed deeply through his nose,
"Because I never really came out as 'full-on gay'. I liked Alec, and what happened happened, but I am not liking waving the colours everywhere I go. And several times, this conversation came back as to was I gay or not."
Jace remained silent, not sure of what to do or tell. Even though he had never seen Alec with Magnus, it was obvious to him that Magnus loved the eldest Lightwood child. From the few times that Magnus talked about his love life, it had been obvious to Jace. But he also knew that there was something holding Magnus back, and now, he suspected that it was this very thing that tore the couple apart.
"Maybe you should try to let him know why it is so hard for you to be as open as him about you being together," He suggested, hoping to say the right things. But Magnus darkly chuckled, leaning against the couch and closing his eyes, as he cynically asked,
"Have you told Clary about your sordid past? Have you told her about the ups and downs that forged your characters?"
"Partially."
"Well, in that case, you're a lot braver than me. I don't want Alec's pity. I can take anything but his pity. And I'd rather have him throw me out, than have him look down on me with pity."
Jace looked at his friend who had kept his face unreadable while saying those words, and he suddenly wondered what had happened to Magnus in his past to make him who he was now. He had already questioned Magnus several times about his past, but Magnus always said that he'd rather not talk about it, and Jace respected that decision. He understood that there were parts of his life that Magnus would rather forget about, no matter how difficult it was.
He himself had some memories he would rather forget, and that he hadn't share with cary. But he couldn't tel if it was because he didn't want to see pity in her eyes, or because she still did not ask the right questions. When he had told her about his last foster family, and how he parted with them, it had made him very uncomfortable to see her tear up about it. mostly, because he had dealt with it a long time ago, and because he felt this was not reason enough.
But when he thought back at that moment a few days later, he had to admit that there had been something more than discomfort. He had a sort of new-found pleasure on confiding to Clary, and having her feel for him, no matter how he was now detached to the situation.
"Maybe you won't see pity in his eyes. All Alec needs is a proof that you trust him. Maybe you telling him about —"
"I didn't even tell you, Jace," Magnus cut him off, clearly not ready to take this step in his relationship with the Lightwood.
Jace understood, and backed off, though he made a mental note to bring this conversation back in a near future. With a loud heave, he got up, even more confused than before he came to his friend, and he let the Asian man know,
"I won't be here for the next couple of days. I'm going to Michigan."
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Jace's PoV
Jace stared at the tombstone, doing his best to ignore the little voice in his head that was telling him that he should have brought Clary with him, instead of telling her that he was leaving town for a couple of days. She didn't question him about his whereabouts, because she never did, and Jace kept for himself where he was actually going. Mostly because he did not know why he was doing it.
If he were honest with himself, a major part of him was glad that Valentine acted the way he did. The more he thought about it, the more anger he was building toward someone that he had never met, and would never meet. There was something twisted about Jonathan Morgenstern, and no matter how Valentine had tried to rationalised his son's behaviour, by saying that Jonathan never grew out of his Oedipal complex and had transferred it to Clary for looking so much like her mother; Jace still thought that this was something unnatural.
And still, he couldn't condone Valentine's action. Jonathan had been his son. Maybe Jace would have been more lenient and understanding if Valentine hadn't been the one to end Clary's brother's life. This was something that Jace had troubles dealing with, the fact that Valentine who was so overprotective about his daughter, and godchildren, took his son's life in the blink of an eye. sure, it was an impulse, but Jonathan was still his flesh and bones.
"Why did you tell me? You could have lied, I would have bought it," Jace suddenly said, sensing Valentine's gaze on him from a few feet away.
He heard Valentine walking to him, until he was standing next to him. "You're probably one of the only person on this Earth who doesn't buy the lies he had been fed to, no matter how well crafted," Valentine uttered matter-of-factly. "Beside, you already knew before even asking me. Especially if you've been looking for him since Paris."
"Suspecting something is not the same thing as knowing something, and you know it," Jace coldly replied, avoiding on purpose the part where cary had been mentioned.
Valentine stayed silent for a moment, looking at his son's tombstone as Jace pointed out, "You've been coming to Michigan every year ever since I worked for you. I never understood that particular move, and never asked about it. I always assumed that it was a special date for you and your wife."
Once again, Valentine did not say a word, his eyes still on the tombstone dedicated to 'Peter Jackson'. Jace respected his silence, though he was curious as to wether it was because was at a loss of words, or if it was because Valentine was paying his respects to his son.
"What did you tell Clary?" He finally asked, making Jace frown. Valentine turned his head to him, and explained, "You said that she asked for you to find him, what did you tell her?"
"Nothing yet."
Valentine longly looked at Jace, before having a disabused smile and looking back at the grave. "You're looking at me with a whole different light."
"What does it have to do —"
"Had I ask you that question two days ago, you would have immediately told me that this did not concern you. But since you finally found something to judge me on, you're hesitant as to what you should do next."
Jace kept for himself what really made him feel hesitant, though it occurred to him that Valentine was far from wrong. He did see Valentine differently, making his mentor no longer that perfect highly praised figure above him.
"There is something that I don't understand …" Jace started, waiting for Valentine to give him a sign that Jace had his attention. "Why did you tell me? You could have told me to piss off, and I wouldn't have asked any more question. You kept this secret to yourself all those years, so why did you tell me?"
"To prepare you. So you would know the cost of being at the head of Idris. I have no doubts that had I been another man, with a regular job, I wouldn't have reacted the same way, and Clary would still have a brother as we speak. But being the man I am had its tolls on me. It made me less patient toward the issues that are close to my heart. It made me more prone to violence. It made me less regarding on what is wrong and right in society's eyes, and solely care about my own personal gains. I want you to know that being at the head of Idris isn't just a personal choice. It's a choice that will affect the family that you are so desperate to have."
As those were said so nonchalantly, Jace felt a wave of anger wash through him, that seemed foreigner to him for it came at such a force. He had always been so in control of his emotions, that he was the first one shocked that he was having such a strong reaction, especially toward something that he had been kind of expecting.
"Who says I want to take over?" He strongly said, not doing one thing to hide his anger. "Who says I want be at the head of Idris? You already have an heir, don't bring me into this."
"We both know that I won't bring Clary into this, and I know you're not stupid enough to think that I took you under my wings and trained you the way I did all these years, out of the goodness of my heart," Valentine snapped, though contrarily to Jace, he did not seem upset the least in the world by Jace's outburst.
Jace glared at the older man. "I don't want Idris. I don't want to replace you. I don't want to have this weight on my shoulders. Especially, if this is the cost," He argued, pointing Jonathan's grave to prove his words. "I want a normal family, and I certainly don't want them to have to pay the price."
"If you want a normal family, Jace, you chose the wrong line of work. How will you justify to your wife your late night calls? The occasional bruises? The random strangers showing up at your place? Normal family doesn't go with being a mobster, and you know it. You've been postponing your personal life, because you know it is impossible for you to have this little fantasy of yours."
Jace did not retort, aware that Valentine was right. But that did not mean that he was ready to admit that to his face. His mentor rested a comforting hand on his shoulder, and told him,
"Because I always had a soft spot for you, I will give you this one opportunity. If you want out, then leave. There will be no repercussion, as long as you don't go sell me out to the first cop you see. If you want that white picket fence life so much, I will let you off the hook, and scar-free. Think about it well, and let me know when you come back home."
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‼️PLEASE DON'T BE A SILENT READER AND LEAVE A REVIEW
IT REALLY DOES HELP‼️
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💚Your thoughts and opinions are always welcomed💚
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~ So ... Jace has an outing of this life ... and who knows, maybe this is his opportunity to date Clary officially.
~ Anyway, question time:
💚What do you think of the conversation between Jace and Valentine?
💚What do you think Malec and its downfall? And before you guys start jumping at her throat, kaelie knows nothing of this.
💚 Do you think Jace will take Valentine on his offer? And do you think he will tell Clary about Jon? I'm curious at to your answer on this one
💚What did you think of this chapter overall? And what do you think will happen next?
💚What was your favourite part?
Anyway, Cassandra Clare owns the names of the characters from the Mortal Instruments franchise, everything else is mine.
‼️FOR GUEST REVIEWERS‼️
Bitsy: Yeah, this is a pretty big hope there! Especially after this chapter where we literally see his gravestone ... but hope is always good to hang on to. like Clary kept on hoping to one see her brother again. And though we did not see any Clace in this chapter, it will be all over next chapter.
Guest 1: Thank you, I am so glad that you liked this chapter. Hope you liked this one just the same, and be on the lookout for the next one.
Guest 2: Though I made you wait a little, I hope that this chapter still brought you joy.
Hellooooo: I know, there were a lot of time laps between flashes, but if I had written all that I wanted, the chapter would have been twice as long, if not more. I had to make some sacrifice.
Octo: The thing is, I have a beta already, but she is off at the moment since it is exam period. and no matter how much I love writing, I do not want to take time away from her and her exams. And I know I could proofread, but that would mean that the updates would be slower. Updating every two days may seem like a laps of time for you, but it is not for me. I usually write the story just before uploading it, and I usually update at godforsaken hours. Sorry. but I will go back at some point and correct all the mistakes, because it bothers me as well when I read a story.
Guest 3: I will come clean, and admit that almost making you cry made me smile (though it wasn't in an evil sadistical kind of way). And you're totally right, Jace would not bare that kind of betrayal. remember that this was one of the first thing he told Clary 'Don't fo behind my back'. I think people tend to forget that very important trait of character for Jace.
Lia: Hihi, well, this is the whole point of this chapter. he is at a dilemma, because he had to betray one of them eventually... Now who? And though I totally agree with you, you should not kill one child to protect the other, Valentine is not like us. he thinks, lives and breaths like a mobster, and it stuck to him, even when he was home. As for Clary ... well, you shall see next chapter.
Guest 4: Yeah, this chapter was full of surprises and explanations. I'm so glad that you liked it. be on the lookout for the next one
Cool Beans: Yes, Hodge being a rat was a setup. Hodge gave informations that Valentine and him had agreed to 'leak' to see if Jace would take the bait, and he did ...
Guest 5: Yes, the death of Jocelyn was the turning point for Jon. He never really saw her as a mother, and clary being there and looking just like his 'Joss' did not help as well.
Guest 6: Thank you so much sweetie. 😘
Guest 7: Glad that you like the story so much. as for Clace coming clean to Valentine ... it will come when the story will end... In an unexpected way
Guest 8: Though it took some time, here comes the update
Love, Mina💚💚💚
