Epic Party Time?

Episode: Just One More, I Promise. (Alternate title: Crushing Potato Chips)

"There's no way." Roger hiccupped, "That you...he wouldn't leave..."

"Got that right, Rogggger." Ralph slowly agreed, "I used to think that too."

"Whatcha thinkin' about now?"

"Nothin'."

"Haha...aaah. Fuunny."

The amount of empty bottles of random, miscellaneous liquor had substantially increased in the past hours. Roger sprawled across the couch and rested his head on the coffee table. Everything was bright and funny-looking and overall very nice. He laughed aloud for some reason, nearly falling from off his perch. Ralph kicked him and completed the job.

"That's not nice." Roger commented angrily.

"Sod off." Ralph mumbled, muffled by a throw pillow he'd hugged to his face. By this stage in his drunkenness, the effect was just beginning to wear off. With this came the headaches and the pain and the remembrance of everything that once was, and that still was. With this came the realization that none of his problems had actually been solved at all.

Roger began to pick himself shakily off the ground, listing sideways a bit after a few moments of staring into space. He caught himself on the edge of the table and sat down, trying to steady the world.

"I can tell." Roger smiled eerily, "that's...there's...wow. There's something wrong."

"Noooo." Ralph muttered.

"Tell meee!" Roger insisted.

"Shut up!"

"Tell me, fucker!"

"No! No!"

"You can't hide what's inside!" Roger jeered, bringing out the shows of his childhood into the conversation. Geez, what abysmal orifice of his imagination did those well up from? he couldn't remember the last time he actually watched TV. Sure, he turned the thing on all the time. But he was just pretending. Doing his job. Like everyone else.

"I can and I have!" Ralph said from behind the pillow. His bobby pins had skewed off and fallen out, clattering to the floor in a twosome. Roger retrieved them and set them on the table with perhaps more caution than called for.

"The world's kind'a fuzzy nowadays, huh?" He started off in a half-aware rant, "I don't know what's the right thing and what's the wrong thing, and I'm not'so sure you do either, Ralphie-boy."

"..."

"But there's the thing...something once told me once...I can't remember it anymore, but I'm sure it would've helped..."

"You're not helping." Ralph growled, "You're just confirming everything I thought I knew."

Roger half-leaned, half-fell forward and gripped Ralph's shoulders, trying to pry him from the rumpled form of the throw pillow he gripped so tightly.

"Now, lookie here..." He began.

"Just shut up already!" Ralph shouted, "I can handle this myself! God...why..."

"Am I the idiot or are you the idiot?" Roger asked, suddenly very clear and un-slurred in his speech. For him as well, the fog was beginning to lift. It may have been the time that passed, it may have been the mood that had rolled in like a new mist. Maybe it was both. Maybe it was neither.

"We're both the idiot." Ralph pulled himself from the pillow and revealed his tear-soaked face. They smeared the make-up and the disguise and the whole charade. It was over. "Maybe me more than you." He smiled weakly. "I'm sorry I dragged you into this. And sort of got us both drunk as skunks, but...you know..."

"Aw, i's no problem." Roger looked down at the floor, where he'd fallen.

"No, really. I can't believe I was so stupid." Ralph laughed in spite of himself. "I was so stupid back then, and I guess I just had to follow through, right? Get it?"

"No. Not really." Roger grinned sloppily, "But maybe a little bit."

"All I wanted to do...was forget the past...and pretend like it never happened." Ralph shared quietly, "I wanted to make everybody else happy. In a world where nobody was chief, and we could all live the way we wanted."

Roger stayed silent. He wanted to hear this. He'd been waiting for a while now.

"I wanted to be happy too, I really did." Ralph sobbed, "But I couldn't face myself. I regret everything, but I regret nothing at the same time and I don't know why. I don't even know who I am anymore. I lost everything. And I never really forgot either. I just pushed away the fact that I remembered, for everyone else's sake."

"But were you happy?" Roger asked.

Ralph breathed in shakily. "Maybe." He admitted, "But I'm not sure. I had no one when I got back, you know. I lived alone. My parents travel the world now without me. They did back then. They want to visit every country in the world. Meanwhile, all I wanted was help. I didn't get any. When they found out I was back, they sent me to boarding school with you guys. They thought it would make me feel better, knowing people."

"So you were alone too?" Roger sighed, not really a question, just a statement. So their esteemed leader, the one everyone had secretly looked up to afterwards for being normal again for being happy...he was faking all along. Deep down, Roger knew the whole time. A smile on the surface. But not deep down. After the island, everyone had been estranged from society. All they had was each other. And Ralph was the best of them.

Maybe he still was...redeemable?

"I think that makes you better." Roger said aloud.

"What? Are you kidding me? I'm pathetic." Ralph went on.

"Well, everyone else wallowed in their self-pity and solitude." Roger joked, trying to pull out the largest words in his vocabulary just for effect. "You at least smiled."

"It was a joke though. An awful, terrible joke."

"Yes, but jokes make people feel better."

"Really?"

"Yeah. You helped me too. I aspired to be like you in high school, you know. I wanted to have my life together like I thought you did. Although...after you joined forces with Jack I pretended to hate you both. Again, I think everything was for show."

"Why should I care?" Ralph growled.

"I'm trying to tell you that you weren't alone all this time!" Roger exclaimed, "We thought we all were, and none of us really were and...shit! This is weird!"

"Bark!" F-u agreed jovially. She licked Roger's heel and he shoved her away.

Then it came back. The revelation form earlier hit Roger like a baseball in the head when he was in fourth grade. It nearly knocked him out, gave him a bloody nose, and made him see stars. It made him think he was damn near crazy. But it was brilliant. Dastardly and daring and terrifying and thrilling and brilliant.

"Hey Ralph!" Roger shot up, thrusting his fist in the air half-way, smiling genuinely, "I think this calls for a party!"

"What?" The blonde gaped, wondering where this new energy had come from. Once again, the dog woofed in acceptance.

"This calls for a party!" Roger repeated. He grabbed Ralph's wrist and tried to tug him off the couch, pulling as hard as he could muster. Ralph held fast to the back of the sofa.

"Why?! Those were just another excuse, you know!"

"You still like Jack, right?" Roger egged on.

"...yeah." Ralph admitted shamefully, "I..always have..."

"I knew that! But now we have to prove it!" Roger snapped, "So we're throwing a party!"

"How does that prove anything?!" Ralph objected.

"The college fair is coming up soon!" Roger went on, still not making any sense, "Everyone and their grandma is going...everyone and their parents..."

Something clicked in Ralph's head. He too rushed to his feet and grinned. "Jack and his parents!"

"Yes!" Roger agreed energetically, "And it'll be quite the party. And every party needs music!"

"Really?!" Ralph gasped.

"Yes! Do you still have Simon's number? And Bill's and Maurice...well, we can find Maurice..." Roger trailed off, voice dripping in excitement. "The whole band! We'll have to get the whole band back together!"

"...why are you doing this?" Ralph asked suddenly.

"Because." Roger answered, not skipping a beat, "I want to show you something. I'm going to show you how much you really mattered. I'm going to show you who you really are."

"Woof!"

There was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it!" Roger shouted. Though, there was no one else to hear him so it really didn't matter all that much. He vaulted over the table and stumbled over to the door, nearly tripping over empty bottles on his way over. Kicking the obstacles out of the way, Roger tried at the door knob. Then he remembered it was locked, and he stopped to work at those first. After the brief pause, Roger threw the door open.

"Uh..hello!" The visitor greeted nervously, "I was just here to see if Ralph wanted us to take the dog again sometime...not for anything...else...hehe."

"Hale!" Roger exclaimed happily, "Just the person I wanted to see! What do you think of Ralph, by the way?"

"Um...he's nice. I always thought that...he was...unique and fun to be around. Wait, why?" Hale puzzled. Roger pulled her into the dorm room and slammed the door.

"Ralph, Hale's here!" Roger announced. The dog sprinted into the room and leapt onto Hale's knees, panting eagerly. She leaned down and petted the dog contentedly.

"What the hell are you all worked up about?" Hale asked in distraction.

Roger smiled at her. "We're about to do something crazy. You think that you could help?"

Hale thought about it for a moment, then smiled back. "Sure." She laughed, "We all could. I hate this place anyway. Stick it to the man, am I right?"

This is coming together fabulously, Roger thought to himself. Then he paused. Fabulously? Did I really just think that?

Whatever. Let's have some fun.


WOOOOOO!

Guess what today is?

It's my anniversary! No, not my wedding anniversary or my divorce-a-versary. Those are both next month.

I'm talking about my Fanfiction anniversary! Today, last year, I signed up for this site! I couldn't be more thrilled with the things I and you guys have done since then!

YOU ALL ARE AWESOME!

I'm hoping for an even more FABULOUS time with this next year of fanfiction-ing. Thanks to you for putting up with me! I would have never imagined that I would have had all these followers and reviewers and readers when I first joined!

THANK YOU!

To commemorate this wonderful event, I'm hoping to finish this by tonight. Woo!

Don't quote me on that.

REVIEW RESPONSE TIME!

Well, I don't really have much to say...except for shout-out to MYSTERIOUSGIRL101, SATAN ABRAHAM, and HOTWINGINCEDENT for actively reviewing every chapter lately. You guys are awesome! THANKS YOU SO MUCH...*sobs* You guys...sniff...are awesome...so awesome...

I loves you all...

Okay, so, I gots to get back to writing nao! Thanks for reading and possibly reviewing! Thanks you all for your time, and I hope you stick around for the last official episode of EPIC PARTY TIME!

There'll be an epilogue, but you know...either way, the next episode is the last...

And also, it will be the episode where I announce THE NEXT BIG COMEDY PROJECT! dundundun.

Thanks again, guys! Let's have another memorable year!

WRITE YA LATER!