Devon gloomily walked through the halls of Degrassi the next morning. She normally didn't mind getting out of bed everyday to go to school. However, this day was different than the other days.
She was surprised to see a present waiting for her as she approached her locker. Tangled around her combination lock was a large sunflower. She smiled as she happily untangled the stem from her lock. She leaned over to smell the flower as Craig walked up to her.
Craig raised his eyebrows. "Are my eyes fooling me?" he asked. "Is Devon--the anti-flower receiver, because flowers are so generic--Simmons ACTUALLY excited that someone gave her a flower this morning?"
"Well...let's just say that this particular flower on this particular day...is an exception," Devon answered back.
Craig looked around. "Who's the secret admirer?"
Devon shook her head. "No admirer." She smiled. "This is from a friend."
xxx
At lunch, Sean walked into the cafeteria and looked around. He saw Emma sitting at a table with Manny and Liberty. He stood there to see how long it would take to get her attention. For a brief moment, Emma turned around and noticed Sean staring at her. Sean perked up and glanced back at her with a hopeful look. For a split second, they caught each other's eyes, but Emma turned back around to continue her conversation with her friends. Sean sighed sadly when he realized that he would have to go another day without speaking to Emma. He decided not to speak to her until she was ready, and by the looks of it...today was just not the day.
He turned to look out the window and noticed Devon sitting outside on the school lawn by herself. He decided to have lunch outside today. He had suddenly felt an eerie chill in the air of the cafeteria, and he had a feeling that it was coming from Emma's table.
Devon stared blankly at the sunflower in her hand.
"I thought the flower would cheer you up, not bring you down," a voice replied behind her.
Devon slid to the side to allow Sean to sit next to her. "It DID cheer me up." She smiled. "Thank you." Her smile quickly faded as she looked around. "Should we even be talking in public?" she asked nervously. She didn't want people to get the wrong impression of them. "I mean, with you sitting here next to me—"
"Don't worry about it, Dev." Sean shook his head. "I'm having lunch with my best friend. Avoiding you in public would only admit to everyone that we did something wrong—even if we DIDN'T do anything wrong." He looked back at Devon. "I've got nothing to hide. If I want to have lunch outside with my friend, then I will. There's no crime in that." He wanted to get off that subject. Actually, he was tired of thinking about it. He focused back on Devon. "So...how are you holding up today?" He nodded towards the sunflower in Devon's hand. "I remembered what today was."
Devon held the flower up and smiled again. "I've been thinking about her since I woke up this morning." Today marked the anniversary of her grandmother's death. Her grandmother, Marilyn Simmons, passed away seven years from today.
Sean took the flower from Devon for a moment. "Do you remember when she used to MAKE us help with her sunflower garden?" He never WAS able to develop a green thumb, no matter how many times he was forced to learn how to garden.
Devon laughed lightly and nodded. "Of course!" She remembered always bickering about doing "chores," but deep down, she enjoyed gardening with her grandmother. She never realized how much she missed it until her grandmother passed away. She sighed. "I haven't visited her since my mom and I moved to Wasaga Beach."
Sean handed the flower back to Devon. "Do you want me to go with you?" he asked concerned.
Devon shook her head. "Thanks...but I think I should go see her on my own..."
Sean nodded understandingly.
Devon positioned her hands behind her so she could lean back. She stared out into the distance. "Remember how she always made me go to church with her every Sunday?" She grunted. "I HATED sitting through those services!"
Sean chuckled. "How can I forget? She ALWAYS asked me every Sunday if I would go with you guys!" And every week, he would say 'no'.
Devon pulled her knees up. "Before every service, she would make me go up to light a candle for my mom." She rolled her eyes. "I don't know why...but she always thought that lighting a candle every week would somehow make my mom change." She looked back at Sean. "We both knew that all the lit candles in the world wouldn't change my mom...but for some reason...she kept her faith in that." That's just the type of person her grandmother was. She always believed that everything would eventually be okay, despite the chaos Devon's mother put them through. She pushed back to lay on the grass. "Remember when I told you that I hid away in a church for a while shortly after I lost my apartment?"
Sean nodded as he plucked a few blades of grass from the ground.
Devon looked up at the fluffy clouds in the sky. "I felt safe there. It almost felt like my grandmother was in the church with me, watching over me." She rested her hands behind her head. "Want to hear something funny?"
Sean waited for Devon to continue as he twisted the grass in between his fingers.
"I lit a candle every night for my mom...because I knew that was what my grandmother would have wanted be me to do." She rolled her eyes. "As if my mom would pop back into my life some day." She turned her head to look at Sean. "Pretty stupid, huh?"
Sean shook his head. "I don't think so." He looked back at Devon. "It just shows that you haven't given up on your mom...that's all." He shrugged. "And I think that's exactly what your grandmother would have wanted you to do." He smiled reassuringly. "I have a feeling that she's proud of you for doing that."
Emma stared out the window as Manny and Liberty rambled on and on.
Liberty waved a hand in front of Emma. "Earth to Emma!" She laughed. "Aren't you even listening?"
"Uh-huh," Emma answered back with no emotion. She continued to look out the window. She was busy watching Sean and Devon have some kind of "moment" outside.
Manny turned to see what Emma was looking at and saw Sean and Devon. She wanted to say something, but stopped herself. She remembered what Devon asked of her yesterday and decided to stick with what she agreed with. She decided to keep any "Sean" comments to herself.
Suddenly, Paige and Hazel came up to the table and slid into seats next to Emma.
"You'll never guess what we heard!" Paige exclaimed excitedly.
Liberty, Manny, and Emma turned to look at Paige.
"It's about Devon," Hazel chimed in.
Paige rested her arms on the table and leaned forward. "Remember that Glenbrook cheerleader Devon almost got in a fight with at The Dot?" she asked in a low voice. "I think her name was Marcy," she added quickly. "Anyway, it turns out that Heather Sinclair is that cheerleader's COUSIN!"
Manny shrugged. "So?" she asked.
"Marcy used to go to Wasaga Beach High with Devon before she transferred to Glenbrook," Hazel explained.
Paige's eyes sparkled as she grinned mischievously. "And you'll never guess what we found out..."
xxx
Devon nervously walked through the rows of gravestones as she clutched the sunflower in her hand. She kneeled down when she finally spotted her grandmother's gravesite.
"Hey, Grams," she whispered. She placed the sunflower in front of the tombstone. "This is from Sean," she explained. "He just wanted you to know that he was thinking about you today." She sighed. "I'm sorry that I haven't been able to visit you as often as I should." She traced the letters of her grandmother's name with her fingertip. "But I think about you everyday...I promise."
She stood up and dug her hands in her pockets. "I bet you've been turning over in your grave a few times the past few months." She shamefully looked towards the ground. "I'm sure you've been disappointed in the things I've been doing...and thinking about...lately." She shrugged. "But, as you can see, I'm okay...for now."
She continued to stare at her grandmother's engraved name for a moment. She felt her eyes begin to fill with tears. "Who am I kidding?" she muttered under her breath. "I'm NOT okay," she admitted. "To tell you the truth...I'm scared." It was weird admitting that to her grandmother. It was even weird admitting that to HERSELF...out loud. "For once, I'm lost...and I honestly don't know where to go from here. Sometimes I wonder if I even have the strength to make through another day..."
She kneeled back down. "I miss you," she whispered as a tear rolled down her cheek. She held up her right hand to kiss the tips of her index and middle fingers. She pressed her fingers to the gravestone.
xxx
Sean walked down the aisle of the cathedral. His footsteps echoed throughout the building. He nervously took a deep breath. There was always something about churches that made him...uneasy.
He took a seat in one of the middle pews. He looked around the empty building, then looked up at the large stain-glass windows in front of the church. He folded his hands in front of him, and for a brief second, he wondered if there was a correct "technique" for praying. He quickly brushed that silly thought from his head. He cleared his throat. "Uh...God?" He quickly turned around. He was surprised to hear his voice echo throughout the church. "Um..." He cleared his throat again. "I know that I've only been to church twice in my entire life...and I know that both times, I didn't even pay attention to the sermon...but I was wondering if you could just set those two facts aside and take a minute to hear me out."
He looked up at the stain-glass windows again as if somebody was on the other side listening to him. "I, myself, have a ton of problems going on in my life that I can talk to you about...but I'll have to save that for another day. My best friend's name is Devon Simmons, and I'm here today to talk to you about her. You see...we've known each other since we've been born, and we've always looked out for each other." Before Devon's grandmother died, she had asked Sean to look after Devon, and he promised her that he would. He looked down at his hands, then looked up again. "I've always been able to protect her from the people who have hurt her in the past—her mom, her mom's boyfriends, bullies from school..." He sighed disappointedly. "But I recently found out that I haven't done a good job with that lately." He felt like he had let Devon's grandmother down. "What are you supposed to do you do when you find out that the person who is hurting her the most...is her? How am I supposed to protect her from herself?"
Sean sat there quietly for a moment. He felt that there was still more to say. "I'll admit that I never used to believe in you. And I'll even admit that I never used to think there was a heaven." He nervously looked up at the ceiling. Was that safe to say in a church? Would he be struck down by lightning just for saying that out loud in a church? He looked back down at his hands. He rubbed his sweaty palms together as he spoke. "But...I've been thinking the past few days...maybe you ARE real. I've been thinking over and over again of how Devon was lucky enough to escape death TWICE." He looked at the cross that was placed on the altar. "And I realized that maybe it's because you're not ready for her to go to heaven yet." He gulped. "And if that's true...I'd like to thank you for keeping her here." He nodded. "So...thanks."
He stood up and stepped out into the aisle. He held up a finger. "Oh yeah—one more thing." He leaned against the pew. "If you see Devon's grandmother...tell her that I promise that I'll do a better job this time around." He nodded. "I promise," he repeated again.
He made his way towards the exit, but stopped when he noticed a particular area in the corner of the church. There was an area of tiny candles surrounding a statuette of the Virgin Mary. A few of the candles were already lit. He remembered how Devon used to light a candle for her mother every time she was at church. He decided to light a candle, but he didn't light one for Devon's mother.
He lit one for Devon.
