Chapter 29
Despite himself, he smiled. A chuckle. His friends.
He opened the first door in the hallway.
It was his bedroom.
He closed the door, opened the closet, and there were all of his clothes. His normal clothes.
It was a shame, really. He actually liked the Doctor's costume when he wore all of it together. It was quirky and fun. But it was, again, a costume.
Matt wasn't going to be caught dead wearing all of it now. He was having a hard enough time being himself.
He pulled on a band tee, jeans, and some black running shoes. Converses were impractical with all the running they did.
He glanced at the ceiling and set his hands on his hips. "Was that what you wanted, hm? Real jokester, you are. I am beyond amused."
No answer.
"Guess you have to have some fun when you're a sentient piece of coral stuck in a metal machine."
Abruptly, the air thickened with heat and someone shoved him sideways. He stumbled, shocked.
M̠y̢̥̗̘̮̤͍ ̶̬̙͎t̵͚͕̰̞͍̘hi̖̹̪̞̹͍e̩͇̤ͅͅf͇ ̕í̳͉s̱ ̷͖̲̦r͓̻̻̙i͇͖͉̫͈͡ͅg̗̳̻͍h͘ṱ̦̭͙͚͚͇͠.̟̲͓͔̗͓ ̝̺Y̙͙̳̭̝̲̺o̠̙̹͖͘ͅu͕͚̰̙͖ͅ ̜͕a̮̺̬͈͉r͇̕e͇̺̤̱͔̲͞ ̮̲̺̟̕dr̨̩̭͎̮͉a̼̯͍̹̲m̥̣͔̫̺a͎̬̭tic.̢
Her voice was not crystal clear in his brain. It echoed and stretched as if from a great distance, but he heard her just fine.
He spun around.
Nothing. He couldn't see her.
But she was close. It was like watching tv from a channel just to the left or right. Not quite correct, but there were flickers of color that came through.
"This isn't possible."
A giggle.
"You don't have a physical form. You shouldn't be able to-"
Soft fingers rested on his lips.
He stilled.
I̧͎̻̥ͅ ͓͡ͅd͕̳̜̣̲̜̳o̶̪̙n̦͓̪͉͕̪̫'̦̙̼t̡̖͚̼̼̤̦͖ ͖̥̜̼̘ha͏̹͙͙͓̘̗̣v̤e̲̤̤͈̭ͅ ̶̘͖͔̥a̹̲̺͈̝ ̷̯̩̮͉̬p͙̪͔͕̱h̳y̷s͔̩͉͖̤͉͜i̭͓̝̬̲̦͔c̠̝a̤̣̦̝͙̻ḽ̴͍̜͚̯̪̼ ̦̟̫f̘̤̮͘ò̲̘̥͖̲̫ͅr͖͕̩̙̩̞͘m͚̼̰̯̪͢.͢ ̳̠̫̞̹̤̕ͅY̛̠̖͕͔̻̗o͍u͓ ̢͎d̨̫o҉͔.̝
Matt frowned. "I know."
̳̠̫̞̹̤̕ͅY̛̠̖͕͔̻̗o͍u͓ ̢͎d̨̫o҉͔.̝ she insisted. Matt struggled. His gaze darted around the empty room helplessly.
"I don't understand. I'm sorry."
She sighed irritably. Something cool pressed into the back of his mind.
And a spiral of images flew through his brain so quickly he lost his balance.
M̨att̴̢ ̧a͝n̷d ͘͠͡t͘h͡͡͝è͜ ́͟͜Do̵çt̵ò̸͠r̶͝ ́͘͡i͞n̸͢͝ ͢t̴h҉e̷̛ ̛e͞x͏̵a҉̀͝m̵̨͜i̧ņa͢t͟͞į͞o͢͝n̛͟ ̀͝͠r҉o҉o͘m.̧҉ ̶̧ Bl̴͘͡a̡c̸͝k̵̵ ҉̶͜a҉n̶̛͞d̸̵ ̢w͡h̵i͠t̶̕e̸.́͜
̕"̴͠҉T҉h̨́͠is͟͝ ̵w͟͏o̧n̷'t ̡̛hur͜t̢̛͢.͜͢͢"̀
M̢a̷t̨͏t͝ ͝g̨̧ĺ͟͡ares ͜at̕ ţ͝h͢͞͞e̷ ̡͢D̀o̡͠c̡t̴͜o̴r͟.̨̡͜
nNeed͜l͜͜e͟,̶ ̸͞ḿ̨̛et͘͟͏a͢͝l ͘͢r̕͡ę͏̨l̨͏e̵͜a̶s҉͢ę̶̀d̶̀ ̕s̀l̸ờw̴̢͠l҉y͝
̵̡͘M̶̸͜a̛͟t̀͡t ҉̡́sc̶re̢͞a͏̕mi̢͢͞ǹg̀͝.
̢Án̴͢ḑ̀ ̶̛͞s̷udde̶͟n͢͜l̢͜͟y̶̛͘ h͞i̷̛͝ś͢͞ ̵̶̕b̸͘o̕dy͟͏̀ ҉͘͜f̢̀͜l̶i̛c̛k̸͢e͝r͝e̸̷̴d̴͘.͢ ͞F̛l̢ash͘͝e̛ḑ͡͝ g̨͘r̷̨͢ȩ͝e͢n͢͢͡.
̀͘S̕͟h̶o͞c̶͞҉k͏̵̛.͘ ͢A̷͞m̷̨͜a̸z̛e̶͠m̴͢e̡̛n͢t̶.̵
͟H̸̨e̛ w̛͘͞a͞s̷̢ i̵̛n̡ c͢ǫl͢͞ó̀r, pù̴l̶͞s͜i̧̢͢n͢͠g ͘̕g̵̛re̷͘͝e̶̸̕n̨͝.̢͝
̢͟T́̕h̸̀e̸ im̀a҉g̶͟͝e͘ ͏͠z҉͝oom̴͢ę̛d͏̴ c̶l̡̛o̶͝se͘͟r͏.̛͢
͠L̕a̷̢͘t̸̸c̢̢͟h̕҉ę͞d͘.
Matt's eyes flew open. He was on the floor, head in his hands, breathing heavily. He trembled. Ugh. Whatever she just did was not fun.
Suddenly it clicked.
That was it. She'd shown him how she talked to him.
The TARDIS lived in a metal comb. She inhabited the metal cage around her. Every cell. Every molecule.
And here he was, a psychic with metal connections circling through his blood.
Inside.
She was-
He fumbled to his feet, horrified. She was inside him. Part of her was inside him just like the rest of this place.
"That's not- n- You can't just do that!"
She winced. A̛͇̹̥cc͕͇͙̰̮i͔d̜̰e̮̲n̲͎̖͕t͇.̴̻͚ ̺̺̳So͈͉r̪̜͍r̞͕y̭͎͠ ͇͉͔̫̬͎v̨e͚̺̻͕̤͞ry̢̟̣͚͕̤̹̼ ̣s̴̭͓͚͍͙̹̱o̬̺r̝r͈y̶͇̻̪͙̻.͉͕̥̼̼͟ This was followed by a string of numbers he didn't understand. He growled and scrubbed his face wearily.
Slipped
Up.
"Yeah," he grumbled. "I get it."
Lon
Ely?
Lonely. How did a ship like this, a mind that large, that powerful, get lonely?
He should tell the Doctor. This wasn't supposed to happen.
Ǹ̗̱͙͔̞̩̳̣̪̦̖̩̣͟͝ò̘̼̮̦͓͍̤̪͎͓̺̦̪͕͎͟͢!̢̧͉͚̘̥̗̪͕͇̯̱̻͇̤̱̞̘͈͜
The strength of her voice pulled at his brain. He hissed. "Just shut up a minute, okay? Why not? He could fix this."
A silence.
A moody sort of silence.
He got it suddenly. She didn't want to 'fix' this.
Stay.
The word was clear. Her plea strong behind it. Matt rubbed his eyes. "Why?" He asked, but he understood. He was a taxi. A portable extension. The Doctor couldn't leave her behind if she could travel inside Matt.
Matt sighed. "I'm not letting you possess me, uh," What exactly was he supposed to call her?
She sent him a flurry of emotions and smells and colors. Wet soil after a rainstorm. Ocean sea sails snapping. Loosely braided hair. Gasoline. Cigarette smoke. Embers. Rose petals. The rest were too quick to register.
He frowned. "I don't know how to say that. Can I just call you TARDIS?"
Tardis.
She'd only repeated him, but the name was different when she said it. The difference between an acronym and a name, he supposed.
Tardis. Okay. That was good enough for now.
"Well, you can't stay here. You have an infinitely large machine. Get yourself a metal body if you're so desperate to follow us."
She tugged his hand insistently. He looked down at it, and it occurred to him that she wasn't invisibly standing in front of him. She was in his head making it seem like she was.
Why did he get into messes like this?
Ẃóùlḑn̷'t͝ wǫr̵k͝. ̵
"Why not?"
Only you. Your mind.
Fits.
Fit inside.
Latched.
Great.
"I still need to tell the Doctor."
She pressed a finger to his lips again. He'd make us stay in here.
Matt frowned. "Why?"
Too dangerous. You're mortal. Human. Die easy.
I
D͢i̴e ̨t̛o͏o̢.
Oh.
If the TARDIS-
Tardis, she corrected irritably.
If Tardis died, what would the Doctor do?
What would he do to keep her safe?
Anything, Matt answered himself. The Doctor would do anything to keep her safe. She was everything. His only link to his people and his past.
Matt would like to think the Doctor wouldn't lock him in here, but… if he couldn't figure out how to get her out of his head, and she was mortal as long as Matt was, he wouldn't want him wandering around. Probably. Matt had seen himself the Doctor do very horrible things when he was desperate.
Shoot.
He couldn't. He couldn't tell him. If Matt was stuck in this universe, he sure didn't want to be stuck inside the TARDIS the entire time. He'd be a prisoner in every sense but the word.
His resolve hardened. "Alright, you win. For now, we say nothing."
She sent him sunflowers and… baby lotion? Was that supposed to be a thank you?
Yes.
Matt shook his head and dropped onto his bed. The springs squeaked. Gods, this was too much.
He let his head fall into his hands. His shoulder's slumped. Ached.
The bed squeaked again.
Someone sat next to him and patted his shoulder awkwardly. An attempt at comfort, he thought. From a creature far beyond such things. It was almost endearing.
Matt laughed, slightly hysterically. "Just one thing after another, yeah?"
Tardis shrugged helplessly. Are you M a d?
He shook his head. "Not at you. You didn't mean to do this. It was an accident."
Yes.
He groaned. Now what?
Someone knocked on the door. Matt frowned.
Red stray.
Matt rolled his eyes. That would be Amy, then.
"Matt! The Doctor's got a planet to show us, let's go!" she said through the door.
Matt didn't move.
"Stop sulking! Let's go!"
Sighing, Matt stood up. Tardis's hand slipped into his. He squeezed once and released. But she stayed there, at his side like a cool breeze. Now that she'd broken through, he doubted she'd be leaving anytime soon. "I'm not sulking!" he shouted at the door. He jerked it open and wrinkled his nose.
Amy had been correct when she said he wasn't trying to act earlier. He was trying now. She smiled at him. "Come on! Oh good, you got your own clothes."
Matt huffed. "I do not wanna talk about it."
She smirked and skipped away down the hall.
Matt followed her.
And Tardis walked happily as well, her footsteps shuffling at his side.
The moment Amy was out of sight, Matt scowled and crossed his arms. "Are you seriously going to do this? Just follow me around all the time?"
I'm stuck, she spat. Yes.
Okay. There was something else. She couldn't actually leave. And if she couldn't do it, what were the chances the Doctor could anyway?
"Last time I kept secrets I nearly blew my own brains out."
Then don't 'blow your brains out', idiot.
This was going to be a long day.
"Welcome, my human pets! To the candle meadows of Karass Don Slava!" The Doctor spread his hands and jumped out of the door.
The trio of humans followed him onto the soft, aqua colored grass. "We're not your pets," Matt grumbled.
"My loyal companions!"
Matt shook his head. The planet's name was familiar, but he had no idea where it came from. He peered around the empty meadow. The grass whispered in a summer breeze, and large, poppy-like flowers dotted the clearing. Around them in the distance, a black and blue forest circled.
It was empty and it was quiet and it was beautiful.
Amy adjusted the picnic basket in her hands. She smiled. "Look at that, no one dying!"
The Doctor huffed. "I don't always land in places that are on the brink of collapse! Thought we might need a break after all the vampires."
Matt was grateful there wouldn't be any more running for his life for the moment. Rory seemed to be of the same mind. They smiled and walked deeper into the grass. It came up to their knees and tiny bugs flew from blade to blade.
Matt ran a hand over the grass. It was soft like an infant's hair. A little red bug-eyed his finger curiously before flying away. He chuckled.
Suddenly, a blanket wrapped around his stomach, throwing him back into the foliage. He yelped, buried in the grass. Above him, Amy grinned.
"Amy!"
Amy laughed and took back the blanket they were going to sit on. She threw it over her shoulders like a cape and ran after Rory, her target clear. Rory yelped as well and ran away.
He couldn't see them from down here in the grass, so Matt sat up and parted the blades. Amy was on already Rory's back, tackling him to the ground. A second later they fell and disappeared in the ocean of blue. Both of their laughing voices echoed around the clearing.
Matt smiled. Little heart-shaped bubbles floated up from where they'd fallen and popped as they reached the sunlight.
He was so focused, he didn't notice the Doctor until he sat down next to him. Matt jumped, suddenly very aware of the Tardis's elbow entwined with his.
He can't sense me. Be calm, small idiot.
He'd have to tell her at some point that he did have a name and it was not idiot or small creature or stray child or whatever she'd taken to calling him at the moment.
"Hungry?" the Doctor extended a hand with a paper bag.
Matt blinked. He hesitated but then Matt reached in and pulled out exactly what he expected. A jelly baby.
Nostalgic today, was he?
The Doctor pulled his knees up and rested his elbows on them. The bag dangled in his fingers. He popped some of the candy into his mouth. Matt followed suit. His eyes lit up. He didn't know what type of jelly babies these were, but they were way better than the ones he'd tasted before.
"My own recipe," the Doctor said through a mouthful.
"Well, you're a proper Willy Wonka," Matt said, taking another one. Yellow, this time.
The Doctor's brow furrowed. "Willy Wonka?"
"He's a fictional candy factory owner who, uh- It doesn't matter. It's good. The candy's good."
The Doctor beamed. "You like them?"
"Course I like them. Everyone likes them."
"True. I avoided an entire civil war with these things. Twice."
Matt snorted. "I believe it."
They relaxed into silence, and Matt fell back onto the grass. He stretched and fit his hands behind his head. The Doctor kept his eyes in Amy and Rory's direction. They were probably engaged in quite the makeout session right now. Both of them were grateful that wasn't something they could see.
Although, those little heart bubbles still bobbed in the air at the edges of Matt's vision. He squinted up at the setting sun.
Suns.
There were at least twenty. But they were so small they were only slightly larger than stars. Like the flickering flames on candle wicks. The closer they were to the horizon, the more pronounced was the effect.
So that's why it was called candle meadow.
Matt brushed a poppy out of his face, coughing. He frowned. Allergies, all the way out in space. Honestly. He rubbed his nose and sat up. "Do people live here?"
The Doctor nodded. "On this planet, yes. The Halinaeons haven't explored quite to this clearing yet, however."
Matt hummed. He yawned. "It's peaceful."
"Yes," said the Doctor.
Matt frowned. He sat up further and narrowed his eyes at the Doctor. There was something in his voice he didn't like.
The Time Lord's face flickered. Great, comically large tears tracked down his face.
Matt looked away and back again. He pursed his lips. "What's wrong?"
The Doctor raised an eyebrow. He shrugged. "Nothing. Everything's fine."
Seriously? Did he think that would actually work?
A little rainstorm broke out above the Doctor and rained down on him. A personal raincloud.
"I'm almost insulted," Matt said. "Don't lie to me."
The clouds cleared and the Doctor cocked his head. "You know when I'm lying?"
"I thought we established this. I have your face. And you're right. I can. So spill."
The Doctor hesitated. "It's… nothing. I just haven't been here in a very long time."
A person flashed through Matt's mind. He shifted back, slightly away from the Doctor. His 'thing' seemed to get worse with him than everyone else. He recognized the face a second later, and the words spilled from his lips before he thought to stop them. "I bet Susan loved it here."
The Doctor jerked back. He stared, eyes wide. Brick walls from nowhere descended and shielded the Time Lord entirely. Matt watched the walls mildly and blinked the hallucination away like he usually did lately.
Once he could see his face again, the Doctor was still staring at him in shock. "How did you know I took her here?"
Matt's stomach flipped. He shouldn't have said anything. He hadn't mentioned how often he was seeing things now. Honestly, he hadn't had a chance.
But now he had an extra reason to not want the Doctor anywhere in his head. He had no idea if he'd be able to sense the Tardis inside or not, whatever she said.
He chewed his lip and shrugged vaguely. A lie came to him suddenly. "I saw it on tv."
The Doctor relaxed. "Oh. I thought you... but, that would be ridiculous."
That wasn't something Matt wanted to hear. He curled his knees up to his chest and tried for a nonchalant shrug. "Yeah. Well, whatever."
The Doctor watched him. He made a decision. "Lesson one, I think."
Matt raised an eyebrow. "Now?"
"You have something else more pressing?"
No. He didn't. He didn't want to be the Doctor's little pupil either. That wasn't a good argument, however. He settled on a disgruntled mutter and a flippant 'go ahead' motion with his hand. "What kind of lesson exactly?"
"Just answer my questions."
That was easy enough. He nodded. "Okay."
"First, have you had more headaches?"
Matt shook his head. "No. I think I figured out a way to… I dunno, filter stuff." This made sense. He wasn't getting the full waves of raw emotions. Just symbols of them instead of feeling the emotions himself like he had earlier.
The Doctor's eyes lit with interest then narrowed thoughtfully. "How?"
"Cartoons."
He blinked. "What?"
Matt ran through a condensed explanation similar to the one he'd given Amy. "So, like, a moment ago you had a little rain cloud over your head when you were thinking about Susan."
The Doctor chuckled. "Right. That's… that's actually rather fascinating. Your subconscious is... fascinating."
That wasn't a sentence he heard every day. "I think he's probably a sadistic pain in the neck, but sure."
The Doctor ate another jelly baby. The sadness Matt had sensed was all but tucked away. "So what do you see now?"
Matt rolled his eyes. "Nothing."
"You didn't even look around."
Sighing, Matt glanced at the Doctor and then over at Amy and Rory. She was chasing him in circles, trying to put a red poppy on his head.
Rory's heart was jumping impossibly far out of his chest as he ducked out of the way.
Matt watched that phenomenon for a moment. "Rory," He nodded toward him. "His heart is beating out of his chest. And he has a paper bag on his head"
The Doctor frowned. "Why?"
"It means he's in love, but he's also embarrassed or… nervous? I dunno. Haven't you seen old cartoons before?"
"A few."
Matt wrapped his legs tighter to himself. He'd loved cartoons as a kid. Saturday morning cartoons. He'd wake up before dawn and turn the telly on and the sound down as far as he could so he wouldn't wake anyone up. He'd eat whatever he'd managed to snatch from the fridge while wrapped in a blanket on the floor and watching Tom and Jerry, Mickey Mouse, Scooby-Doo, the Flintstones, Looney Tunes. They were all old at the time, but his parents kept videos of some of their favorites.
It didn't even surprise him that his brain was working the way it did.
Eventually, Amy and Rory came back over, breathless. They flopped to the ground next to them. They all spread the blanket and ate peanut butter sandwiches and talked about nothing important.
It was easy in that moment to forget about everything. Almost. And he appreciated, he really did, Amy's efforts to keep his thoughts light. She'd laugh and joke and ask questions anytime he started getting quiet.
It was sweet. It might have worked.
But the Tardis had her head resting on his shoulder. She'd sigh contentedly every so often and make some comment that made next to no sense. She reminded him of Luna Lovegood. Gentle and odd and thoughtful.
But he was not naive enough to realize that this was all she was. This was an interface. A perception. The Tardis could kill every one of them in milliseconds if she was so inclined. Matt wasn't too worried about that. But she was too distracting to forget about completely. His friends were here. He was eating a sandwich and jelly babies and all of them were smiling. Inside and out.
When the other foot fell, Matt knew it was going to knock him dizzy. No good moment like this last forever. But now? It was pure and it was enough.
AN: woohoo, here I am again! Please leave a review :)) we have a new development it seems...
