Hey guys,

So I know that some people are going to be annoyed at the way Rachel comes off in this chap (spoilers for "Special Education"), and though I usually avoid caveats—the story should always be able to stand alone—I just want to say that I agree that the way Rachel's been portrayed on the show lately is stupid and totally not believable. She was always a bit arrogant (cause, hello, she's a fucking star and she knows it!), but on the show lately she's been like a parody of herself, she's so self-centered and narcissistic (like Sue Sylvester—a funny character, but not a real person). So, I'm trying to show an angle on this aspect of her that's a little more honest and real…hopefully you guys won't think I'm a hater by the end of the chap!

Cheers,

-JW

Take Me As I Am

Chapter 29

By JewWitch

Rachel doted over Quinn while she was sick, and Quinn soaked up the affection like a parched little sea sponge; especially once the fever broke and she was able to stay awake for more that two hours at a time. When the weekend ended and Rachel was forced to go back to school alone, she started texting Quinn little love notes through the day, and brought home little gifts for her; flowers and Mad Libs and mango sorbet for her throat. After four days of the royal treatment, Quinn finally went back to school— still a little groggy and croaky, but too restless and bored to stay home another day. The same day, Mr. Schue announced their set list for Sectionals: Quinn and Sam singing The Time of My Life, and Santana taking lead on Valerie with Brittany and Mike Chang showing off their best dance moves.

"Are you kidding? Quinn and Sam?" Rachel exclaimed indignantly, her voice scathing. "They're going to look like Ken and Barbie!"

"Does someone need to have the team player talk again?" Kurt asked pointedly, as Quinn blushed and glanced over at Sam, trying to convey some sort of apology for her girlfriend's rudeness. He just raised his eyebrow awkwardly at her.

"Mr. Schuester, are you trying to throw this competition?" Rachel demanded furiously, not even acknowledging Kurt's question.

"We have a lot of talent in this room, Rachel. If we're gonna go all the way this year, we have to let all our stars shine," Mr. Schuester explained with a shrug.

"I'm all in favor of that, Mr. Schue—but not for Sectionals! That would be like, like—like taking the star quarterback out before the big game or something."

"Easy for you to say—you're always the star," Tina pointed out.

"And you're a total hypocrite, Hobbit," Santana added, obviously offended by Rachel's dismissal of her contributions to glee as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared down imposingly at the shorter girl.

"You don't even know what that means," Rachel shot back, glaring.

"Sure I do. It means you're acting like a first-class jerk who's not gonna get any tonight," the Latina smirked, nodding to Quinn, who was staring at her girlfriend with a hurt expression of frank astonishment.

"Quinn knows this isn't about her," Rachel huffed impatiently. "I just don't think Sam has enough experience to adequately complement her vocal talents, and besides, she's just getting over tonsillitis and there isn't time to get her back to optimum condition."

"I think two weeks is plenty of time," Mr. Schuester disagreed. "And I seem to remember that you got a solo at Regionals last year soon after having tonsillitis, Rachel."

"That was different. I'm a trained professional," Rachel explained patronizingly. A tense silence fell over the room at the little diva's words, all of them glaring furiously at her, momentarily unable to form words to express their anger at her blatant condescension. Quinn opened her mouth to break the silence; but at the last minute her expression changed, and she brought her hands up to her face to catch a soft sneeze instead.

"There, you see?" Rachel demanded to Mr. Schue, nodding towards her girlfriend, who was sniffling and pulling a tissue from her pocket to blow her nose. "She's not fully recovered; she won't be ready to sing a solo in two weeks anyway."

"Bless you, Quinn," Kurt said politely, while giving the dark-haired girl a very nasty look.

"Hello, I'm standing right here," Quinn snapped, waving her hand in front of her girlfriend's face. "Could you please stop discussing me in the third person?" Somehow, Rachel actually had the audacity to look taken aback.

"Quinn, I'm just looking out for the best interests of the team," the little diva huffed, crossing her arms and holding her back very straight.

"Um, no Rachel. This has absolutely nothing to do with the team. You're just going bat-shit crazy because I got a solo without you for once. Is it really that difficult for you to just be proud of me?"

"I am proud of you, Quinn! I'm just concerned that your voice isn't fully healed yet, and if you were to sing a solo at Sectionals, I don't think Sam's a strong enough counterpoint to balance your vocal range, anyway. It's poor planning for a crucial competition, plain and simple."

"You're full of shit," Quinn fumed, shaking her head as she crammed her books back into her backpack and jumped up from her seat. "And by the way, Santana was right." With that, the blonde girl usurped her girlfriend's usual role of diva-in-chief, and stormed out of the choir room. Kurt stood up too, and with one more withering glare for the dark-haired starlet, followed after Quinn. Rachel was left red-faced and embarrassed, avoiding eye contact with the rest of the team as they awkwardly began learning their parts for Valerie.

…..

"Hey stranger," Kurt said gently as he came up beside Quinn, sitting on the edge of the stage in the empty auditorium with her legs dangling off into the orchestra pit. "Is there room for one more diva on this stage?"

"Help yourself," Quinn shrugged listlessly, not turning to look at him. The fair-haired boy sat quietly by the cheerleader's side, and reached out to pat her leg.

"She'll be begging for your forgiveness by tonight," he said confidently, giving her knee a soft squeeze.

"That was humiliating," Quinn seethed, finally turning to look at him with her eyes full of tears. "I felt like I'd just been eliminated on American Idol! And I didn't even know I was competing!"

"I know, hon. Your girl has her crazy moments, no doubt about that. But the truth is…I do understand why she snaps sometimes. Someone like you, Quinn, you can't know what it's like to only be good at one thing. You can do anything you want when you get out of here. But for Rachel—and me, for that matter—there's really only one path. Does her not getting a solo for Sectionals mean she won't make it to Broadway? Of course not. But I get why it made her crazy alarm go off."

"You're not only good at one thing, Kurt," Quinn huffed, wiping her eyes on a fresh tissue as she turned to look at him. "You're the best dressed person in Lima, and you know more about health and natural nutrition that anyone else I know. You could be a fashion designer, or a holistic nutritionist, or one of those fancy personal chefs for the stars."

"Thank you, Quinn, that's very kind," Kurt smiled, reaching out to tug affectionately on the end of her ponytail.

"And Rachel's good at lots of things, too," the cheerleader went on, ticking off her points on her fingers. "She's on honor roll in every class. I mean, I know it doesn't really matter, because she doesn't want to do anything else with her life; but it's not like she couldn't." Quinn sighed and turned to face Kurt's clear blue gaze, a small, sad smile playing across her lips. "I guess that's not the point, though, is it?"

"No, not really," Kurt agreed. "The part of her that freaked just now was the part that's been keeping her eyes on the prize since she won her first toddler pageant. The part that sees her name in lights on Broadway, and nothing else. Plus, um…there may have been a wee bit of a crazy jealous girlfriend moment in there, too. I don't think she likes sharing you, vocally or otherwise."

"Yeah," Quinn agreed with a sigh. "Kurt, do you think…do you think she'll leave me for Broadway some day?"

"Why, are you saying you wouldn't move to New York or LA for her when the time comes?"

"No, of course I would," Quinn frowned. "Those places are awesome and exciting, and have good sushi and indie movie houses, and everything. I mean, I don't have the slightest idea what I want to do with my life; but I know I don't want to stay in this hick town. I'd follow Rachel anywhere she wanted to go."

"Well then, I don't see why she would ever have to choose between you and her dream," Kurt shrugged, and Quinn smiled, a relaxed, easy smile full of relief, and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back, and then patted her knee reassuringly when she broke away coughing into her elbow.

"Ughh…sorry," she sighed, pulling out a fresh tissue to blow her nose again. "Rachel was right that I'm not back to 100% yet, voice-wise. I would've brought it up myself, if she hadn't done it first so obnoxiously. Honestly, it might not be such a great idea for glee club to count on me right now."

"Oh, piffle. Pack a thermos of hot water with lemon every day for a week, and get a humidifier for your bedroom. You'll be spectacular, darling." He winked, and Quinn giggled.

"I already have a humidifier in my bedroom," she admitted wistfully. "Rachel got it for me four days ago. And she's been plying me with, like, five different kinds of therapeutic herbal tea a day."

"Sounds like she plans on keeping you around a while longer," Kurt winked. "Still, it wouldn't hurt to make her grovel a little before you forgive her." Quinn smiled and kissed his cheek, and the two got up and headed back to the choir room, their linked hands swinging between them as they walked comfortably down the hall together.

When they returned to rehearsal, Quinn held her head high and acted like nothing had happened, going over to Brittany and Tina to start learning her part for Valerie from them. Her voice did crack a few times on the high notes, and though she tried to keep it in, she still coughed a bit through the rest of the rehearsal. Rachel didn't say anything; but she did disappear for a few minutes after Quinn started to cough, coming back with a steaming cup of tea and placing it in front of her on the piano without comment.

"Thanks," Quinn murmured, picking up the peace offering and sipping it gratefully. Rachel still didn't say a word, but just smiled sheepishly and gave her a little wink.

When they were dismissed, both girls took their time over gathering their books, so they ended up being the last two people in the choir room. When she was quite sure everyone else was gone, Rachel approached Quinn and asked seriously, "Is it too soon to apologize for my narcissistic and thoughtless behavior, and grovel as necessary for your forgiveness?"

"Not too soon," Quinn shook her head, biting her lip to keep a straight face, "But maybe not the best venue for such declarations. I think you should take me somewhere that serves hot chocolate before we get to the groveling."

"Quinn, you know that hot chocolate isn't the best thing for your throat right now," Rachel frowned, her eyebrows knitting together as her expression changed swiftly from groveling girlfriend to caretaking girlfriend. "I'll take you anywhere you want to go of course, but I strongly recommend that you order a non-dairy hot beverage instead, as the healing properties of such would be of great benefit to your conditioning for Sectionals."

"But right now is when all the special holiday flavors are out," Quinn pouted, sticking out her lower lip and batting her eyelashes, making herself look as cute and kittenish as possible to capitalize on Rachel's guilty conscience. "You know all I want is a gingerbread hot chocolate with whipped cream, and you know in another two weeks I won't be able to get it." Quinn pouted. Rachel sighed.

"Well…I suppose one hot cocoa won't kill you," the dark-haired girl agreed grudgingly, an unwilling smile spreading across her face when Quinn beamed at her and reached for her hand.

….

When they were both seated over their drinks at the local Starbucks (the coveted gingerbread hot chocolate with whipped cream for Quinn, and a soy chai latte for Rachel), Quinn remembered Kurt's parting advice about not letting Rachel off too easy. "Okay, you can commence with the groveling now," she said, trying to keep her face expressionless as she licked a dab of whipped cream off her drink. Rachel sighed and stared down into her cup, her expression so serious and tortured that Quinn almost felt guilty for drawing it out any more. Almost.

"You know me better than anyone else in the world, Quinn. You know what scares me and what inspires me, you know how to calm me down when I'm having a diva tantrum, and you know how protective I am of the people I love. You've seen me at my best, and you've most definitely seen me at my worst. So I hope that, for all the awful things I said in glee today, you also know that none of it was meant as an insult to you or your talent. You sing like an angel, baby. And you know I love seeing you on stage."

"Yeah, I know…thank you," Quinn smiled a little sadly, swirling the whipped cream around the top of her hot cocoa with the little stir stick. "But you were really mean today, Rach—like, Sue Sylvester mean. And honestly? I think you were pretty much right about everything you said, but…it was just the way you said it that hurt. It felt like you were throwing me overboard, like nothing else besides getting the solo even registered in your brain."

"I'm so sorry, baby," Rachel said sadly, reaching out to squeeze Quinn's hands across the table. "I'd never throw you overboard. If the USS Glee was going down and there was only one spot left on the lifeboat, I'd give it to you, even if it meant I had to go down with the ship."

"That's very chivalrous," Quinn smiled softly, squeezing Rachel's hands back and leaning across the table to give her a quick kiss. A middle-aged man in a business suit stopped in his tracks a few feet in front of them, staring with undisguised contempt at their small public display of affection. "Got a problem with me kissing my girlfriend?" Quinn growled at him, meeting his stare with her own sharp hazel gaze. He blanched, clearly not expecting her challenge, and walked off hurriedly. "I thought not," Quinn huffed after him.

"My hero," Rachel trilled in a breathy, Scarlet O'Hara sort of voice, and they both giggled; then Quinn's laughter caught in her chest and turned back into the nagging cough that hadn't quite left her system yet. "Aw, poor baby," Rachel cooed, wincing at the slight rattling sound in Quinn's chest when she coughed. "Are you keeping up with the vitamin and tea schedule I drew up for you?"

"Yes dear," Quinn said sarcastically, but with a smile on her face. "But you know, you weren't wrong about my voice not being quite back to full strength. I would've told Mr. Schue so, too, if you hadn't been such an assface about it. Maybe I really shouldn't take the solo, Rach. Even at my best, I know I'm not going to be anywhere near as good without you. If we don't win Sectionals, glee will be over for good…I don't want that to happen because of me."

"That's not going to happen, Quinn. You'll be wonderful—and I'll help with your vocal conditioning, I promise. There are a few simple exercises, and things we can do…all the same things we did last year when I needed to get back into top form for Regionals. I'm sorry I undermined your confidence, baby—you know I believe in you, completely and totally."

"Mmm, yeah…I think we can officially call an end to the groveling portion of the day," Quinn smirked, remembering some of the more enjoyable aspects of Rachel's vocal conditioning from last year, when she'd been the one helping the dark-haired starlet get over her tonsillitis. "I'd much rather move on to some of those vocal conditioning activities…I seem to remember some of them taking place in a nice hot shower?"

"Oh yes, those are the most important ones," Rachel agreed, giving Quinn a dazzling, full-on Rachel Berry gold star smile for the first time all day. Quinn returned the smile with interest, abandoning her hot chocolate without a second thought as she stood and offered Rachel her hand, and they hurried out of Starbucks to Quinn's car with identical shy grins spread across their faces.