Last night, I thought I heard the sound of two gunshots. It was faint but... I am almost certain that their was gunshots. I slowly opened my eyes and felt exhausted. I slowly sat up and looked at my surroundings. I was in my room, sitting on my bed. As I looked around I remembered about the events that happened last night. Gu-chan returned yesterday. I felt my heart being lifted and felt better already. I looked over at the clock. It's now one fifteen. How long have I been asleep?
"Ah! Good morning Miss Rin!"
Startled, I gave a quick yelp and looked to where the voice came from. It was Gu-chan who was smiling gently at me. She was standing over at the window next to my bed. I smiled at her, relieved to have her back.
"Good morning..." I said softly. My voice was unusually soft today. Gu-chan gave a quick sigh and walked over next to me. She leaned close to me and poked my nose.
"You gave me quite the scare yesterday! You nearly passed out while breaking all of your bones!" she shouted with a smirk on her face. I looked at her with an apologetic smile. She took a seat next to me and gently brushed my bangs out of my eyes. Her smile slowly started to turn into a pained expression.
"...Do you..." she began. "...Do you really forgive me...?" I looked at her with surprised eyes and smiled.
"Of course I do" I replied. I felt myself blush a little as a gentle smile formed into my mouth.
"I understand how controlling love can be..." I finished. Gu-chan giggled as she flicked my forehead. I flinched and looked at her confused.
"You sound like an old lady who's been married for years!" she said cheerfully. My face reddened more. I smiled at her and thought about a life with the boy. Just the two of us... Happily married... We would live on a meadow where our kids could run around freely. I blushed some more at my thoughts. But then my face turned cold. I haven't seen the boy in so long. What if he didn't like me anymore? My heart began to pound with a mixture of stinging. I flinched and placed my hand over my heart in pain. My breathing turned into gasps. Gu-chan's eyes widened and looked over at the heart monitor. I could hear the beeping from it fasten as I began to clench my chest.
"Alright, it's ok Rin. Just take a few deep breaths" Gu-chan ordered. I did as she told me, and my heart began to settle. I began to breath normally again. I felt sweat on my face as my vision went back and forth from blurry and then clear. I held onto Gu-chan's arm and lightly squeezed it.
"Gu-chan..." I said softly. She made a soft shushing sound and rubbed my shoulder.
Once I felt better, Gu-chan told me to lie down again and rest. As Gu-chan began to write down the numbers from the heart monitor, I watched her write. After a moment of silence, I asked, "Gu-chan... If you don't see doctor Yumma for a while... Does your heart suddenly become painful?" Gu-chan stopped writing and looked up at me. Her cheeks were a crimson as she blinked a few times at me. I stared at her with a pleading face. I had to confirm something.
"Um... Well... It does in a way. But I see him almost everyday so I haven't experience something like that yet" she replied. I nodded at her response and looked at the ceiling. Gu-chan tilted her head and looked at me confused.
"Gu-chan..." I said softly. She flinched and smiled.
"Yes?" she replied. I turned to look at her.
"Can you... Get me some paper please?" She smiled at me.
"Alright. Do you want a lot like last time?" I gently shook my head.
"No... I just want one sheet." Gu-chan's eyes widened and she nodded. She walked over to the door and opened it. There Gu-chan flinched and let out a small yelp. I turned my head and looked at her. There was someone at the other side of the door.
It was my father.
"Ah! U-Uh, excuse me sir" Gu-chan said flustered. My father stared at her with cold eyes. She gave a shy smile and scratched the back of her head.
"Um... I'm back?" My father let out a small sigh and patted her head.
"Welcome back" he mumbled. Gu-chan gave a big smile and walked past him. My father closed the door after Gu-chan and slowly approached me. He looked at me with emotionless eyes that were dragged down by the heavy bangs under his eyes. I stared at him and waited for him to speak. After a moment of silence, I realized that I had to sit up before he could say what he wanted to say. I slowly sat up and looked at him. He closed his eyes and and readjusted his tie. I looked down at my hands and began to rub them together.
"I have been informed that you have been making paper planes everyday" he said suddenly. I jumped a little at his sudden words and looked at him. He was waiting for a response.
"...Yes... Is there a problem?" I said softly. He rubbed his face with the palm of his hand, as if he was annoyed. He crossed his arms and gave me a stern look.
"I thought I had forbid you to see the boy that you made paper airplanes for" he said coldly.
"You did sir..." I replied.
"And?" he said impatiently
"I haven't seen him for a total of nine days sir..." My father stared at me for a while before he uncrossed his arms and closed his eyes. He opened them again and said, "Good. Because if you even think about doing so any time soon, I will personally deal with you." I flinched and looked at him. His eyes had nothing in them.
No sympathy.
No pity.
No knowledge.
He turned around and began to walk towards the door. I held my hands tightly and closed my eyes.
"I... I have to see him" I said softly. I glanced at my father's back to see his reaction. He froze in his tracks. He turned his head and looked at me with a little bit of life in life in his eyes. But they were filled with anger.
He turned around and walked towards me.
"I beg your pardon?" he said coldly. I flinched and glanced back at my hands.
"I... I said that... I need to see him" I said trembling.
"Him?" my father said with a serious tone. He sounded furious. I nodded. "You dare disobey your father?"
"I do sir..." I turned to look at him and felt my blood turn cold.
"But only this once! Never shall I dis-" I began. But before I could finish, my father glared at me. "I have said that you shall not see this mysterious boy again! Must I clerify everything for you?!" he roared. I flinched and felt tears rise up to my eyes. But I held them back and squeezed my hands.
"Under no circumstance may you see that boy!" my father roared again.
"But father!" I screamed.
"Don't father me, young lady! I shall say it again; under no circumstance may you see that boy!" I squeeze my eyes shut.
"It's just this one time fa- sir! Never again shall I disobey you! Please! Just this once!" I screamed. I felt my arm suddenly be grabbed by a strong force. I opened my eyes and saw my father staring at me. Anger filled his eyes.
"How many times must I say it to you?! Under no circumstance-" he began. His grip on my arm strengthened and I shrieked in pain.
This man is not my father. He would never be so violent with me. I felt tears run down my face. I heard the heart monitor beeping faster and faster.
"Let go of me!" I sobbed. He shook my arm and glared at me even harder.
"Look at you! Disobeying me left and right! This boy is a bad influence on you!" he roared coldly.
"Apologize to me this instant!" he said while shaking me even more. I felt more tears fall down my face as I shook my head.
"Apologize!" I shook my head again. My arm felt like it was going to break. His glare turned deadly. His pupils shrank to a speck and a vain began to pop out of his jaw.
I didn't know who this man was.
His eyes were much colder and very different from the father I know and love.
This man is a being from the devil. Not my father.
"I forbid you to see or even think about him!" he roared.
"You can't forbid a thought as long as the brain works! You don't have enough power to do that!" His eyes twitched and raised his other hand. I flinched and covered my head.
"Sir!" a familiar voice shouted
I opened an eye and saw my father staring at me with wide eyes, and Gu-chan staring at him with shock. He slowly let go of my arm and stared at me with eyes that seemed familiar. He seems shocked at what had just happened. As if he was in a nightmare he couldn't awake from.
Gu-chan stomped in front of me and faced my father who stumbled back a little.
"Were you about to hit your sick daughter?" Gu-chan said with a shocked tone. After he stared at Gu-chan and I with shocked eyes, he blinked a few times. He then stared at me with emotionless eyes again. He narrowed his eyes with a pained expression and turned around, heading for the door. He stopped right in front of it before he exited the room.
"...Let me reiterate..." he began softly. "...I forbid you of going anywhere near your mysterious boy." And left, the door softly closing behind him.
Gu-chan turned around and examined me.
"Are you alright miss Rin?" she asked with a panic tone. As more tears fall down my face, I placed one hand on the arm that my father had held onto. Gu-chan reached to my arm and gently felt the bone structure. I flinched as she reached near the wrist. Gu-chan then began to turn and examine my wrist. As I closed my eyes in pain, Gu-chan sighed with relief.
"It's not broken by what I can tell. Just bruised or sprained" she said softly. I opened my eyes and looked at Gu-chan. She gave me a gentle smile. She softly wiped away my tears with her fingers and then dried my face with a piece of tissue paper. The heart monitor's beeping returned to normal and all was right in the room. Gu-chan, the sound of a clock, the heart monitor's beeping, a vase with my beloved flowers that I collected every time I visited the boy, and finally; me. Gu-chan handed me a piece of paper, like I had requested.
"Thank you..." I said softly. She smiled and rubbed my head. Then she gave me a pencil to write with and left the room. I stared at the paper and pencil. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
I had to do this. I can't burden him any longer.
I slowly opened my eyes and began to write my final letter to the boy.
It is now two thirty. My letter is finished and I had folded it into a paper airplane. I closed my eyes in pain. This was for the best. This way he... He won't have to worry about me. I felt a tear run down my cheek. I opened my eyes and quickly wiped it away as I sniffled. I took a deep breath and calmed my breathing. I looked out the little window on the door at the nurses station. No one was there. I looked down at my arm and removed all the tubes that were on me. I have never noticed until now. I had at least four IV needles stuck on the veins of my arms and legs. I had Gu-chan's special heart monitor pads over my chest and below my heart. I slowly moved my legs off the bed and placed my feet on the floor. I could feel myself shaking.
I didn't want to go. I didn't want to... Say goodbye.
I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. I began to lift my body off the bed and stand up. Once I was standing, I lowered the volume of the heart monitor and walked over to the other side of the bed where I hid my letters and clothing so long ago. I knelt down and opened the basket. I had a huge pile of paper airplanes. It practically overflowed out of the basket. I swallowed and gently removed the letters, getting my clothes. After I changed I put all the letters back inside the basket and stood up. I took a deep breath and walked over to the door. I made sure no one was watching me before I began to walk out. As I walked down the hallways and passed people who didn't know me, I quickened my pace and began to run down the halls. I tightly held onto my paper airplane as I ran.
As I passed the horrible noise of people, I saw heavy rain clouds form above. I stared up into the sky and felt my heart sting. I place a hand on my chest and took a deep breath.
I couldn't turn back now. I began to walk to where he was, plastering a fake smile on my face.
I will lift this burden of worry of your shoulders.
So... I shall hide these tears for you.
