AN: Getting lost on Youtube gave way to the following tale. I hope you enjoy the latest installment of... Azog vs.
Standard disclaimers remain in play: this is a work of fan fiction, meant to entertain and not to claim any rights to the characters or world within. Tolkien is the creator of this world, his family retain the rights, Peter Jackson gave them faces and characters and Warner brothers, Wingnut and of course MGM
Azog vs the fanvid
LOLcats. It started with something called lolcats and 'I can haz cheezburber.' It all seemed so innocent and fun. One minute he was looking at pictures of cute kittens, and funny captions and the next – he knew he would be haunted forever.
From lolcats, he found a cat video and one link led to another, which led to a video involving a cat, a budgie and a goat, which led to a song, he simply couldn't get out of his head and so he googled the song and then… quite by accident, he discovered a fan video, based on a songfic… only the song was so addictive he didn't even really realize it at first… until he saw Thorin, his hair blowing majestically as he looked at the camera and when they panned away— Thorin was looking at him. And the look the dwarven King gave him in the video… Azog wasn't sure how they'd done it, but somehow… let's just say Thorin had never, would never look at him that way, and he was thankful.
He tried to forget it, but the song… every time he heard the song, he saw that slow motion sweep of Thorin's hair and him approaching, not with sword drawn as he had in battle, or as he had when he'd come to warn Azog about the Mary Sue, or when he'd bring the dip for the card game… no, this was the look he never wanted to see on Thorin's face—not when it was directed at him. Fear, loathing, respect even friendship, no matter how grudging, he could take but this—this was… well, if he didn't know better he'd think he was actually in… love… with him…
The video was well done. Each scene carefully matched to the song, each movement matching the sweeping sound of strings. It haunted him, and it didn't help that the song was so insipidly catchy that he found himself humming it at odd times, but always it would come back to that image of Throin, majestic and kingly looking at him…
It haunted him. He tried avoiding the song, he tried avoiding the internet, but the song was everywhere, and that look—how had they manged to cut in *that* look? Finally he decided to try and find something that would burn the image from his mind—and it wasn't until he saw the dwavers, running from an ork hunting pack to the theme of 'The Benny Hill Show,' that he found solace.
And so it was, when Thorin saw the video and found the link to it in Azog's browser history he found himself trying to explain not only it, but the goofy smile he got after Thorin mentioned it. And so he was forced to show Thorin his method of 'escape.'
"It's not very… dignified," Thorin grumbled.
"No," Azog agreed. "But it's so much better than…" He paused, "I don't know who it's worse for.: me… with that image in my head, or you—having to deal with someone having made it look like you want me in that way."
"I think, I would rather not think about it… either," Thorin agreed. "No, I believe you're right, an undignified chase to 'Yackety Sax' is the far better choice."
