Chapter 29: Memories of Junrinan

Junrinan. First District of Rukongai. Soul Society.

Wandering, endless wandering. Heat, it was too hot. Hunger, it was beginning to eat away at her insides. Tired, so, so tired.

Yuki had been in Junrinan for a short while now. All she did was walk and try to find high places to view the sky from. But she was getting weak and she knew it.

Most of the souls she'd seen were never hungry, and it vexed her as to why, but she didn't try to interact with them to find out. She didn't try to interact with anyone.

Consequently it came as a surprise when someone wearing the most respectable outfit she'd seen in a while, a clean red and white which was a stark comparison to the simple clothes many people seemed to wear, and began to talk to her.

'Hey you,' the girl had brown hair and an odd smile, 'You should join the Shino Academy,'

'Who are you and what are you talking about?' Yuki's tone was cold and wary.

'I'm just a girl,' she smiled again, the lopsided grin making her look rather . . . unintelligent, 'But I'm training to be a shinigami,'

'Shinigami?' Yuki could remember that Hollow mentioning shinigami but she still didn't know what they were.

'That's right,' nodding, the girl turned and pointed, 'It's that way if you want to enrol,'

'Why should I?' as she remembered her human life, and how she'd died, Yuki wasn't willing to trust anyone.

'Because I sense some reiatsu coming from you,' suddenly the girl just walked off, 'Anyway, think about it,'

Yuki stared after her. She saw the katana on the girl's back and realised that a shinigami must wield a zanpakuto. She did want to go that Academy now. If it would help her materialise Kuro-kyō Shinu Meikin again, then she was willing to try it out. Also, since the girl hadn't looked at all hungry, Yuki assumed that food must be provided as well.


'You will need to take the admission exam,' an elderly man surveyed Yuki carefully, noting her seemingly low reiatsu output. He was old, and his age had made him sceptical.

'Admission exam?' Yuki knew it would be pretty hard for her to get accepted considering her complete lack of knowledge of the Soul Society. As she'd walked into the Academy grounds, many people had been talking about Hollows, zanpakuto, kido, hoho and a whole variety of different things. The only ones she understood were the first ones, so she wasn't exactly entirely hopeful about her situation.

'That's right,' the man obviously doubted her chances as well, and not just because of her appearance.

'Right,' Yuki tried to think of a way to work out her situation. This was really her only chance. And she was hungry.

'Excuse me,' another man – he looked like a teacher – approached the pair, 'Who are you?'

'Kanashimi Yuki,' her tone was still wary, and her eyes were scanning his face very carefully, watching his every action. Ready to bolt.

'Kanshimi Yuki, please come with me,' the man began to walk off. He sensed some definite power in this girl, and besides, he had his orders.

Yuki followed silently, and, as they entered a separate room, she saw an old man in a white coat, leaning on a thick staff. He emanated power and she supposed he was a shinigami. At the same time, she noted once again that she was starving.

'Is this her?' his voice was very calm, old, patient.

'Yes sir,' bowing, the other man retreated.

'Who are you?' Yuki was curious.

Yamamoto, as that's who it was, turned his attention to Yuki, 'I am the Head Captain of the Gotei 13,' then he paused, 'Your reiatsu is different to a normal reiatsu. We have been sensing it for a while now,' his eyes were closed, 'Why do you wish to join this Academy?'

Yuki knew that, since a shinigami was in charge of killing Hollows in order to protect human souls – or at least, that's what she'd heard – he'd probably be expecting an answer along those lines. However, she didn't have knowledge about the full duties of a shinigami, so she wasn't going to lie.

'Because I'm hungry,' her tone was cool and she wasn't nervous. As soon as she'd come into this man's presence, she could almost feel the spirit of her zanpakuto again.

Yamamoto was surprised, he hadn't been expecting an answer like that, but he continued on evenly, 'Please demonstrate your reiatsu,'

Yuki didn't have a clue what he meant. She was intelligent, learned things quickly, and remembered them as well, but if you hadn't been taught anything, then you had nothing to remember.

Instead, she just focused on attempting to draw out her zanpakuto.

The Head Captain watched with half lidded eyes as a flicker of black light began to flow from the girl. Her strangely coloured eyes were closed, and her hands were clenched.

There was a pause, as though nothing was going to happen, and then a torrent of raging darkness burst from Yuki's body.

The raw sorrow and pain that the untrained reiatsu held was powerful enough to make the Head Captain release more of his own in order to combat it. His eyes opened further when one of the First Division members pulled open the door and then fell forwards, eyes rolling backwards.

Understanding dawned on the old man's face and he released a kido, one that temporarily suppressed Kanashimi's reiatsu

That reiatsu had killed someone.

'You're spiritual pressure is strong,' it was an understatement, especially since she was untrained, but he didn't elaborate, 'However you will be trained separately from the other students here,'

Yuki wasn't surprised. It wasn't as if she could suddenly be accepted into normal society again. She was still an oddity, even amongst others who fought Hollows and wielded zanpakuto.


'Your skills in zanjutsu, hakuda and kido are excellent,' all of Kanashimi's teachers were garbed in a special material designed by the Kido Corps that would protect them if Yuki's reiatsu flared again, 'And your shunpo is superb!'

Yuki wasn't listening to the man, instead she was gazing out over the lush green field and trying to concentrate on the cool sensation spreading through her body.

It was her zanpakuto spirit.

'Kuro-kyō Shinu Meikin,' she raised her hand, feeling the icy wind and the black feathers burst from her body, 'Come to me,'

The katana formed in her hand and then she lowered her arm, fingers curling around the familiar hilt. She had her zanpakuto back. And she had its Shikai. Now, due to her training, she would be able to learn its abilities too.

'Kanashimi!' the teacher tried to hide his surprise at the sudden katana materialisation by sounding angry, 'Were you even listening?'

'Sorry,' she sheathed the katana, hand lingering on the hilt, 'What were you saying?'

'You are to graduate the Academy tomorrow,' it was the Head Captain's voice. He had decided that, although she'd only been at the Academy for a couple of months, it was time to move her on. Multiple renowned teachers had been injured trying to train her, and the decision had been made to send her on a long-term mission. If she died, then perhaps it would be better for everyone.

'Why?' Yuki was curious more than suspicious.

'You have learned everything we can teach you,' the teacher removed the protective garb and sighed, 'And you have excelled in all subjects,'

'You've replaced the other prodigies who've passed through this Academy,' another person, who knew who he was, began speaking.

'They were younger, nothing changes,' Yuki spoke almost sharply and the man fell silent.

'You have been assigned a mission that will possibly require visits to parts of the World of the Living,' Yamamoto began to speak again, 'There are a very dangerous group of Hollows that need dealing with,'

'Right,' Yuki paused, 'Do I travel alone?'

It didn't bother her, but she was interested to hear his answer.

'Nope, we're going with you,' four recently graduated shinigami approached her.

'Oh,' hiding her amusement, Yuki just nodded.

'Please leave immediately,' the Head Captain turned to leave himself.

Violet eyes flicked shut and Yuki raised her hands, moving her fingers in a series of rapid gestures, her irises, hidden by her eyelids, began to glow with a black light, 'Shōkyo Omoide,'

Power burst from her, spreading out over the Academy and washing into the Seireitei, unhindered by the protective shield.

Yamamoto turned, realising that this kido was one that Kanashimi must have invented herself. The name, Shōkyo Omoide, suggested that she was attempting to erase everyone's memories of, most presumably, her.

He didn't think such a kido would work, after all, memories were incredibly hard to erase, but suddenly he found himself forgetting how fast she'd been progressing and why he'd searched for her in the first place. Certainly if he'd attempted to prevent it with his own kido he would have easily defeated her, but he didn't as he felt that there was only a few things he needed to remember about her. As the girl turned away, the only things to remain in his mind were her name and her abilities.


Yuki sighed as the memory faded from her unconscious mind. Trialling that kido on the Head Captain had been really bad. And, for some reason, the memory felt wrong.

So irresponsible, she sighed again, glancing at her hands, And I don't know why he didn't just kill me. But there's still more to come, isn't there?


After the others who'd come with her had been killed, Yuki had continued on alone, fighting Hollows and training harder and harder, just to keep her mind from wandering. It had been at about that time when the memories she'd experienced in her human life had started moving in her mind again. Tormenting her with their constant presence.

'I will bind them away,' her tone was resolute, 'I might regret it later, but for now this is best,'

The black kido light, the light which signified her unique kido, formed around her hands, flickered in her eyes, and she pressed her fingers to her head. Layer after layer of barriers and seals formed around her memories, locking away her darkest fears.

As the sun rose over the horizon, the barrier was completed and her mind lightened. For a short time, perhaps, she would be free.


A sad smile graced Yuki's face as once again she was left in the whiteness. She noticed that it was steadily losing its glow and assumed it must be because she was reliving the memories of her past. The ones of her time in Junrinan and the Academy had never been sealed, but they'd troubled her just the same.

The memory erasing kido didn't really work on Yamamoto, she was still lightly amused about that, although something was still troubling her.

During her mission she'd developed more kido and perfected the use of her Shikai. A while later, she'd learned Bankai, and that was what had made her eligible for a captain's position on her return to the Seireitei. She thought that it was interesting that the Head Captain had sent someone to find her in order to ask if she'd achieved her zanpakuto's second release. Almost like he knew something that she herself didn't.

The worst of the memories were over. All that remained was some slight events during her mission, and then some others of her life as a human. However, to wake up again, she would have to 'die' thousands of times over. That single memory had cut a deep hole in her soul, and that could only be healed one way. And the emotions that she'd pulled back into her mind to save Hitsugaya could only be dulled that one way too.

How long would she have to experience her own death for?

When was she going to wake up?

She needed to wake up.


Author's Note:

Another chapter on Yuki. About the part with the Head Captain . . . yes, I know it's unrealistic. I can't really say anything more than its just part of the future plot and will be explained then