Chapter 29: Say it ain't so
[Scene: Zoi enters the house. Demande Blackmoon is sitting on the sofa with his legs crossed, drinking a glass of wine. Chief Midori and the other man are sitting at the dining table drinking scotch and watching a game on the TV. The heavyset man is smoking a cigar. The TV is on too loud, way louder than Zoi is used to.]
Chief Midori: [troubled] Zoi, you're home.
Zoi: Yes. I do live here.
Chief Midori: [He keeps his eyes fixed on the TV] You probably don't remember the Blackmoons, since the last time they were here you were still in diapers. This is the Honorable Judge Willem T. Blackmoon and his oldest son Demande.
Demande: [smiles warmly at Zoi] We've had the pleasure.
Justice Blackmoon: [Rises and advances on Zoi with his arms outstretched] Is that little Zoi-zoi? My, you've gotten big since last time I saw you. Come over here and give your Uncle Billy a hug. [Zoi shrieks as his behind is pinched] Ummm… now there's a fine set of southern hemispheres you've got there. [pats Zoi's bottom] I take it one of your ancestors spiked some premium African rum into the old Midori punchbowl?
Demande: Oh, behave yourself, you old perv. [To Zoi] Honestly. I can't take him anywhere anymore. I think it's the Alzheimer's.
[Zoi's father has kept his eyes on the TV the whole time. It appears he saw nothing, but he is looking oddly apprehensive.]
Chief Midori: Zoi why don't you go in the kitchen and fix dinner. [To the Blackmoons] Are you hungry?
Demande: We ate just before we came here.
Zoi: [Isn't hungry either] How about you, Dad?
Chief Midori: Sure.
[Zoi goes into the kitchen. He wants to hide in his room as soon as he can, so decides to make his father a grilled cheese sandwich. He gets out some bread, cheese, butter and a tomato. As he slices up the tomato, a pair of hands appear on either side of him on the counter.
Demande: So how are things?
Zoi: Pretty good. Seeing as how you're about to back away because I've got a knife in my hand.
Demande: [smiles and moves to Zoi's side] Oh, don't be like that. I missed you, you know. When my father told me he was coming over here, I was anxious to see you again.
Zoi: I can't see why. I think I've made it clear you don't interest me in the slightest.
Demande: You're different. A novelty. I like that about you. Do you have any idea how tedious it is having to screw the same forty people over and over again?
Zoi: You realize normal people don't have those problems, don't you?
Demande: [sniffs Zoi's hair] So how about it? Want to sneak up to your room and play seven minutes in heaven?
Zoi: [Gives Demande a dirty look before he goes to the cabinet for the panini press] Forget it. I've got a boyfriend. And unlike you, I'm the type that mates for life.
Demande: I understand. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Just send me some nude selfies and I'll take it from there.
Zoi: I see you get your charm from your father. I guess the rotten apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
[For a moment Demande just stands there and watches Zoi make sandwiches]
Demande: Your boyfriend has a nice car.
Zoi: You saw it?
Demande: I saw everything.
[Zoi's now worried about what the judge and his father are talking about in the living room.]
Demande: I thought you said you were dating Jeddy O'Sama?
Zoi: I never said anything like that. You just assumed it.
Demande: [Thinks about this] True. I'm glad to see you're into the silver foxes. Your boyfriend looks just like me.
Zoi: He doesn't look anything like you. He's regal and masculine. You're just a pig.
Demande: Oh, come. I could grow my hair out, put on a bit of spray tan, then we could double team you and you wouldn't know who is coming and who's going. [Gives Zoi a threatening smile] Does your father know how much you like to make out with big gray-haired guys with sports cars?
Zoi: Does your father know how much you like to talk about the planet Nemesis?
Demande: [smile vanishes] Did you just threaten me?
Zoi: I don't know. Under the wrong circumstances I might be, but I'm guessing we both know how to keep our mouths shut.
Demande: …
Zoi: Could you hand me a plate? They are in the cupboard over the sink.
Demande: [gets Zoi a plate] So, who is he?
Zoi: [Taken aback] …You don't know.
Demande: I told you. I don't come into town much. I just know he's not Jeddy O'Sama, since my cousin Em tells me Jeddy has short blond hair.
[Zoi doesn't know what to say. On the one hand, he wants to lie. On the other hand, Kunzite's looks are distinctive enough that Demande will uncover the truth soon enough. Zoi decides the only safe course of action is to simply not answer.]
Zoi: I'd better bring my dad his sandwich before it gets cold.
[Demande follow Zoi into the living room as he carries out the food to his father. Chief Zoi is counting out money in an envelope filled with cash.]
Zoi: [Sets down the plate to keep from dropping it] Dad?
[When Chief Midori sees Zoi he goes red in the face and shoves the envelope into his pocket.]
Chief Midori: Zoi, this isn't what it looks like!
Zoi: [stunned] What does it look like?
[Chief Midori slumps his shoulders and averts his eyes. Justice Blackmoon gives Zoi an involuntarily outraged look, like he had just walked in on them in bed.]
[Zoi still has no idea what is happening, but he's terrified. He looks at Demande who pats him on the shoulder.]
Demande: Don't worry. We aren't buying you, if that's what you are afraid of.
[Suddenly it all clicks: The too loud TV, his father not looking him in the eye, him sending Zoi to the kitchen, the envelope full of cash…]
Zoi: [backs away] No, you're not buying me. You're just buying my dad.
Chief Midori: [shamefaces] Zoisite.
Zoi: No, it's ok, Dad… I'm cool with it… You just go on and collect all that money… [raises his shaky fist to cheer] Hooray, Dad, way to build up my college fund.
[He turns and walks away. As soon as he's out of sight he runs up to his room, pulls drawers from his dresser and hurls them across the room before he sink onto his bed, crying.]
[After a while his father comes in]
Chief Midori: Zoi?
Zoi: Go away! I hate you!
Chief Midori: There's something you need to understand. Justice Blackmoon owns this city and everyone in it. What good will it do if I arrest someone, when he has the power to just put them back on the street? That money you saw, it's just a formality. It doesn't change anything. If I didn't take his money, he would have gotten rid of me, and found someone who would. At least I can do some good here.
Zoi: Is this why you became a cop in the first place? To collect bribes and kickbacks? How are you any better than the criminals you arrest?
[Chief Midori just stands there in silence. Then he sighs.]
Chief Midori: You're right. You're absolutely right.
Zoi: How long as this been going on?
Chief Midori: A long time. A very long time. I'm going to give back all the money.
Zoi: Are you out of your mind? They'll kill you! [Thinks about this] No, they still have a use for you. They'll kill me!
Chief Midori: So what should I do?
Zoi: I don't think you have much choice! I guess you'll have to remain a dirty cop until the day you retire!
Chief Midori: [On the verge of tears] I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I don't even remember what happened the first time. All I know is they came here once to talk to me and the next thing I know there was ten grand in my pocket. I should have given it back. I should have given it all back.
Zoi: [remembers the mind tricks the people in the town play and how he's the only one who seems unaffected. He gets up and gives his father a hug.] It's okay, Dad. It's the way of the world. I don't really hate you. I was just mad. I'm over it now.
Chief Midori: [hold his son close] No, it's not okay. How can you say that?
[Zoi smiles an evil smile, because from now on, his father has no right to expect him to be a good boy.]
