Unknown Character: Jeez... This place is a mess. Do I really have to clean up after you, Ace? Oh well, might as well set up stuff here...
Disclaimer: Ace doesn't own the Legend of Zelda.
Chapter 29: An Amusement Park?
Link
I glared at Ghirahim. "Are you kidding me?"
"Why would I do such an unfabulous thing?"
"Gee, I don't know. Maybe because you're Ghirahim?"
Ghirahim huffed. "Why do you think that having a fabulous amusement park in Hyrule is a bad idea?"
"Because Ganondorf is coming back! Do you want to have innocent people die?"
"No."
"Then there won't be an amusement park! Besides, we need funding-"
"I can handle that."
I jumped in surprise while Ghirahim kept his pokerface on. "Alicia!"
Alicia was sitting next to me, wearing her usual outfit and holding a sketchbook out. She smiled at me, which was weird, as I wasn't used to Alicia smiling.
"I'm back, Link."
"You didn't tell me that you were coming back so soon!"
"I couldn't find anything about Ganondorf. Same with Lexy, Raven, and Daiki. Lexy and Raven will be coming back soon, yet Daiki is remaining where he is. Family matters," Alicia smiled.
"Oh."
"No hello for me?" Ghirahim pouted.
"Oh. Bonjour," Alicia sighed.
"That's better," Ghirahim nodded.
I turned to Alicia. "You can get the funding?"
"Yes. I have my connections."
"Are you sure about this?" I asked.
"Yes. I think that having an amusement park will be fun. It may also draw Ganondorf out of his hiding spot."
"How?" I asked while Ghirahim made a strange sound. I couldn't tell if he had cackled, coughed, sneezed, or gasped, but I didn't really care.
"Reasons. That's all I can say."
I shrugged. "Still, we need Zelda's permission and land-"
Sheik teleported into the room. He/She smiled and handed me some documents.
"Good news! Zelda found some records that show that you have several acres of land and you have permission to build whatever you want!"
"... What?" I responded.
"Don't we need permits?" Alicia asked with a somewhat sly smile.
"I'll ask Zelda."
I sighed. "But I don't know what materials-"
"My dad works for a construction company," Lexy announced as she entered the room. "I could ask him what is used to build an amusement park."
"And I can get those supplies," Vaati added as he teleported next to Lexy.
"What about engin-"
"I know several engineers and architects in the Hylian army," Raven piped up as she passed by to get some tea.
I face palmed. "Do people even wa-"
"I know several people who want an amusement park in Hyrule," Aryll declared as she jumped into my lap. "Zelda wants a place where kids can have fun in Hyrule."
"Why is everyone agre-"
"We all want a vacation," Shadow replied as he teleported behind me, munching an apple.
"Why is nobody letting me-"
"-finish your sentences?" Aryll replied. "Because we all planned this in advance."
"What?"
"It's true," Alicia replied. She pulled out a giant stack of papers. "These were different ways on how we were going to convince you that this is a good idea. To make sure that we were more or less prepared to present our case to you, I went and listed over 64 different scenarios that could potentially occur in this situation."
"I thought that it was only 20," Ghirahim frowned.
"I added several different elements to many of them to vary them. Also, 64 is an estimate. I gave up counting when I hit plan 13.3A. that was number 64 or so."
"Ah," the Demon Lord replied.
"Aspirin," I muttered, willing myself to not go insane and do something stupid.
Alicia handed me a cup of water and an Advil (that had been sitting on the table the entire time). I thanked her and swallowed the Advil with the water.
"So..." Alicia pressed.
"You win," I replied.
Everybody cheered. "Let's go make plans for the amusement park!" Aryll declared. "Ready? Go!"
"Wait-" I began, but by then, everyone had left. I sighed and laid my head on my hands.
"Why is this my life...?" I muttered to myself.
One week later, I was faced with several ideas on how the amusement park would look. Evidently, everyone had different ideas on what would be in said theme park, and the concepts of compromising and teamwork were thrown out the window as everyone came up with different ideas.
I picked up the first one on my desk. It showed a pink and blue theme park with a few animal designs on it. A few of the rides were kiddie rides, like a carousal and slower rides, while others were thrill seekers. A few had bunny designs, but some of the others were simple or had characters from Hyrule's past. I knew that it was Aryll's immediately. After looking over it again, I realized that one of her rides that she had planned showed killer bunnies trying to attack people of one of the rides.
That'll give people nightmares, I told myself.
I pulled out the next one, and nearly dropped it when I held it. I cursed. Ghirahim had covered his plan in rhinestones and glitter, making it weigh 10 lbs. I glanced at it. The rides were all glittery, and it was so sparkly that I nearly blinded myself. Its style was similar to Aryll's, except that the designs were replaced with diamonds and glitter.
"Nope," I muttered. "I'm not endorsing this."
I moved on to the next one in the stack. This particular design was very dark. Dark, as in, full of violence. The rides showed lots of death and scary props that are normally found in movies or in people's twisted imaginations. Also, all of the rides were different shades of purple and black. They were also powered by wind. I frowned, as I was pretty sure that Vaati's would have been tamer, but given Vaati's past, I wouldn't be surprised at this.
It was then I realized that all of the designs I've seen had standards that had to be followed, with a few variations to them. I sighed. Most of the group probably agreed on what rides could be built, but when it came into the actual design, everyone clearly decided that teamwork and cooperation did not exist and proceeded to throw them out the window to develop their own ideas.
I sighed, knowing that this whole process was going to be a pain. The next ideas, however, didn't follow the rules.
I grabbed the next plan and stared at it. It was Alicia's, and I'm pretty sure that a theme park that was basically games and a few rides didn't count as a theme park. It seemed more like an arcade. Or a casino.
Sheik submitted an obstacle course for his/her design. The course, however, looked impossible to complete, as it had lava, volcanoes, rivers, mountains, a go-kart track, rocks, a beach, an iced plain, ruins, and a valley. And did I mention the sharks in the rivers and beach? It made me think that Sheik watches too much Sharknado...
Zelda submitted a plan with go-kart tracks and a roller skating arena, along with the other rides and a castle. Her design seemed the most normal, until I saw the gladiator arenas. And they had lots of dead people inside of them.
Nope, I thought to myself.
Shadow's was absolutely insane and clearly defied the laws of gravity and reality, along with physics and common sense. With the exception of the indoor skydiving and scuba diving, everything was to be built in the air and not touch the ground. Even the gladiator arenas were in the air. I blinked and moved on.
Lexy has submitted shooting ranges and several dozen simulators that ranged from shooting to flying in space. It also had bungee jumping, scuba diving, go-karts, indoor skydiving, actual skydiving, snowball forts, sushi bars, and an Olympic training facility, along with several sport facilities. I frowned, expecting Lexy to have a normal theme park, but there weren't any expectations on what as to be built. Sadly, Lexy's design was the most expensive, as she wrote it would cost 5,989,329,453,175 rupees to build. I wasn't going to go bankrupt building her idea.
Impa's design was basically running from monsters and killing them. There weren't any rides or games, but it did have several cars that you could ram the zombies with.
Young Link's design was a city with rides coming out of buildings. It also had a moon that would crash and cause an explosion when it hit the ground. Even though the moon would crash far from the park and reset, it was a safety hazard to me. I moved on quickly.
Lana's design was a forest. It was pretty cool, with the rides that were fast and exciting. However, her design also had Deku sprouts running around and hugging/tripping people. And considering that the Deku sprouts operated the rides, I was concerned. Lana had them on a timer, and that could endanger people if the person controlling the ride disappeared.
Cia also decided to defy the laws of gravity, reality, time and space, along with common sense and reality. Her rides would go in and out of different dimensions and different time periods. I wondered what would happen if she randomly switched the portals. Would people get stuck in a different world/time forever?
Daiki's was basically a volcano on an abandoned island. The area was covered in lava, and some of the rides plunged into the lava, which killed anyone who rode it. The place also offered lots of ice cream, although it would melt in an instant...
I sighed and took a short break to eat. When I was done, I picked up the next four designs.
Somehow, Groose, Yuga, Tetra and Hilda found out about the amusement park and submitted designs as well. I sighed as I looked at theirs. Evidently, they didn't follow Aryll's/Ghirahim's standards.
Groose wanted his design to have floating islands, statues that fought back, and monsters at every corner. The park didn't look safe, so I moved to Yuga's. But Yuga's wasn't safe either. It was basically a bunch of ruins with monsters, bungee jumping, and places were people could be turned into paintings, although it looked like that there wasn't a way to return them to normal.
Seriously? I sighed mentally.
Tetra decided that the park shouldn't be normal at all, as she wanted the land to become the sea and have boats everywhere, along with a few islands with stores and games here and there. While it looked cool, the gaps between the boats was impossible to jump, as the boats wouldn't dock with each other. Frustrated, I moved onto Hilda's.
Hilda's was basically a bunch of circuses. All of them looked very deadly, as the lions and other animals didn't have cages. The tightropes had chainsaws attached to them, and there was fire everywhere.
Midna also submitted a design. The theme park was the Twilight Realm, and there were wolves everywhere. Her wolves, however, were quite deadly, and they were kind of scary.
Zant also submitted one (somehow). His plan I threw away, as it was basically a temple glorifying him.
I sighed and leaned my head forward. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath in and sighed. This was insane. There no way that I could pick a design. They were all deadly and complex. How could I choose which one was the best?
I realized that there was one more design left. Sitting upright, I grabbed it and looked at it. It was basically shops with a person in a bunny costume on each shop sign.
"What the..." I began. Who sent this?
"Hello!" A person declared as he barged into my room. He dashed over to where I was and jumped over me, landing on my lap to hug me. I screamed.
"Link, someone entered the manor," Alicia announced from the doorway. "I couldn't catch him. He may have entered your room to say hi."
"WHAT THE HELL?" I shouted, completely ignoring Alicia.
Ravio winked. "What up, Hero?"
Ravio: So I've finally appeared in the story! Hooray! Maybe to celebrate, I'll convince Ace to let me release bloopers that weren't noticed at the time of writing. (Like that time when Link may or may not have accidentally worn Zelda's dress or when Aryll cosplayed as Ghirahim)
Wait, hang on. SINCE WHEN IS SHEIK A BOY?! I thought that Sheik was a girl and was Zelda's younger sister! I'm so confused now... I have to ask Sheik or Zelda what's canon for this story...
Edit 8/19/15 - Ace forgot to write in Lexy's portion. I added in Lexy's section, as Ace isn't here.
Whoops, ran over time. Guess I'll see you guys next time!
Ravio
