Chapter 29

The Alaskan wilderness was much different than the forests around Forks had been. While greenery could be found it wasn't nearly as green as Forks had been. Tall pines were most abundant compared to the residual trees in Forks. Even the scent was noticeably different. Where the wet ferns comprised the scent in Forks the tall pines took over the odor here. The large ferns that lined the floor of the forests in Forks were not found here. Instead small shrub like plants filled in the gaps between the trees.

Slowing down our pace we came to a clearing. Sniffing the air I could sense some type of wildlife up ahead.

"Ready love?" Edward asked as we stood just behind the tree line. I nodded my head and he let go of my hand. Edging even closer to the clearing, I caught sight of a small doe. It was sheepishly gnawing on some greenery unwise to my presence. Its scent was carried by a small breeze and it hit me full on. What little self control I was trying to muster was gone.

In a seconds time I was bounding on the small defenseless animal. It didn't even know what had hit it as I snapped its neck. Sinking my teeth into its jugular I drank the glorious liquid that once had pulsed through its veins. As the last dropped hit my tongue I pulled away from the animal and dropped it to the ground.

My thirst only slightly quenched I looked around for my next prey. A musky rich smell hit my nostrils. I let my senses guide me as I neared the wondrous smell. Every cell in my body seemed to be vibrating in anticipation as I neared my next prey. Nothing I had yet experienced smelled so wonderful.

"Bella! Bella, stop!" I heard Edward yell from behind me. Part of me knew I should stop in my tracks and wait for him but the other part of me was screaming to run faster. I tried to sift through my thoughts as the scent lured me even farther into the forest.

"Stop Bella!" Edward yelled. He was closer to me. Unknowingly I picked up the pace; I had to reach this new smell. I had to see what it was. I didn't have any control, my thirst was guiding me.

I saw a break in the trees just ahead and knew that my prey lurked just outside this line of foliage. I was about thirty feet away when Edward pounced on me, knocking me to the ground.

"Bella, you have to calm down," he replied holding me against the ground. I didn't understand why he wouldn't let me up. I couldn't focus on anything but the smell of the animal. It called to me.

"Focus Bella, focus. You don't want to go there," he said in a calming tone. I tried to listen to his words, knowing deep down that he would never direct me down the wrong path.

I was beginning to gain some control when a sharp gust of wind carried the scent to me. It was even stronger than before. Using all the strength in my body I pushed Edward off of me and bounded back towards the unknowing prey. I was within a few feet of the clearing when a large object knocked me off my feet.

As I hit the floor of the forest I turned to get up but found I was being held down.

"Bella, you have got to focus," Emmett spoke.

"Let me go!" I growled. I was fighting with everything in me to get up.

"No, Bella,"

"I have to see what it is," I tried to explain as I attempted with no avail to push him off me.

"Bella, it's a human," Edward said. He was standing a couple of feet away from us. From my current position I could only see his feet.

"Jasper went to talk to him," Emmett explained still pinning me down.

"How could this happen?" Edward asked in an aggravated tone. I clawed at the ground trying to get myself out from under Emmett. My subconscious was telling me to stop. To just let Emmett hold me down. But a bigger part of me was screaming, fighting tooth and nail to get out, to get to the human. In frustration I started to sob. How could I live with this? How had Edward lived with this? Every single part of my body was fighting to get to the human even though I didn't want to. I knew it was wrong and yet my body still wouldn't comply. It had its own wants and I was merely a tool to get it. How was I supposed to deny it? How was I supposed to live like this?

"He's gone," Jasper said walking through the trees.

"What did you tell him?" Edward asked. I noticed for the first time that he was anxiously pacing back and forth.

"I told him my brothers had met up with a bear and it wasn't exactly friendly,"

"Did he buy it?" Emmett asked still holding me down.

"Not at first, but I sent him a few waves of reassurance and he left without questioning it," Jasper replied.

"Could you please try to calm her down?" Emmett asked. I was sure that he was growing tired of holding me down. Part of me thought this as a good thing, while the other was hoping and praying that he could keep me down long enough for the man to escape. A moment later a wave of artificial calm swept over me. I found it a lot easier to fight with the demon hunger that had momentarily taken over me.

"I think I can let her up now," Emmett said as I stopped clawing at the ground.

"I think so," Edward said stepping close. Emmett rolled off me and I sat up. I was completely stunned by what had happened. I had almost made it to human. I could have hurt someone. Dry sobs hit me as I pulled my knees to my chest. I was a monster.

"Bella, love, its ok," Edward said dropping to his knees beside me. I looked into his eyes and saw the deep concern he held for me.

"I almost…I almost…," I sobbed unable to complete my sentence. If I had made it to him, if I had taken his life there wouldn't have been any way that I could have lived with myself. I rocked back and forth as the realization hit me.

"Love, please listen. Everything is ok, nothing happened," he replied wrapping his arms around me. I felt another wave of calm radiating from Jasper. Emmett was stalking around us.

"How could Alice have not seen this," Emmett growled.

"You can't blame it on her," Jasper replied calmly.

"I know, I just can't believe she didn't see this," he replied as he stopped walking and stood in place.

"It doesn't really matter, Bella is fine," Edward said hugging me close to him.

"Edward," I muttered.

"Yes love?"

"Can we go home?" I asked no longer wanting to be here, fearing another human would happen upon us.

"Of course," he replied standing up. After he was on his feet he picked me up and held me against him packing me through the forest.

"I'm sorry Edward," I said as we walked through the forest towards the direction from whence we came.

"Its ok love, you don't have to be sorry," his velvety voice soothed me. Emmett and Jasper walked just ahead of Edward.

"But I do,"

"No, you don't have to be. Its something you had no control over," he sighed.

"But I knew it was wrong," I replied. As much as I wish I could have said otherwise, I knew deep down that I should have stopped the second Edward called out to me.

"That's the way it is love. You are never unconscious of your acts,"

"How can I, How do you all stop yourselves?" I asked as we neared the first clearing where I had taken the doe.

"It takes a lot of practice. Being a newborn your hunger is much greater than it will be a year or two from now,"

"I don't know how you did it,"

"Did what love?"

"Not kill me,"

"It was difficult, I won't lie. I could have taken you that first day in class," he replied. I could detect a disgusted tone his voice.

"But you didn't," I reminded him as our home came into view.

"I know. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done,"

"One of them?" I asked.

"Yes," he sighed. We were now in front of the house and I could see Alice sitting on the steps with her head down.

"Bella, I'm so sorry," she cried as Edward stopped.

"It's alright Alice," I replied. There was nothing she could have done. I would eventually have to come in contact with humans.

"Bella, I didn't see him. He wasn't initially planning on stopping," she explained.

"Really Alice, its ok,"

"I tried to call you when I found out," she rambled on. I could tell that her nerves were shot.

"Alice calm down, I'm ok," I replied. I looked at Edward and he knew he what I was trying to say. He sat me down on my feet and I walked to Alice and wrapped my arms around her.

"Oh Bella," she sobbed.

"Alice, please calm down. Emmett didn't let me hurt anyone," I said looking over at Emmett. He nodded in agreement. I then looked at Jasper begging him to calm down Alice.

"Alice, let's go to our room," Jasper said as he stepped forward. I pulled away from her and let Jasper step in. He wrapped his arms around her waist and directed her into the house.

"Edward,"

"Yes love?"

"Let's go to our room," I sighed. Taking my hand in his he walked to our room.

Climbing into the bed I closed my eyes trying to relax. Then I remembered something Edward had said. My blood calling to him was only one of the hardest times in his life. I wondered what the other or others could be.

"Edward,"

"Yes love?" he said as he sat down next to me.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," he replied taking my hand in his. I felt slightly relieved at the touch of his skin on mine.

"You said that my blood calling to you was only one of the hardest things in your life, what were the others?" I asked.

"Just one other," he sighed. I could tell that he now regretted agreeing to the questioning.

"And that would be?" I pried as I felt him playing with my wedding band.

"When I bit you," he replied.

"What do you mean?" I asked. I thought that it would be a relief to him finally being able to quench his thirst for my blood.

"I almost couldn't stop," he replied.

"But you did," I reminded him giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"But it took every fiber of my being,"

"Edward, I don't want you ever to regret it," I said turning my full gaze on him. I didn't want him to be unhappy for changing me.

"I don't love,"

"Good," I sighed.

"Bella,"

"Yes?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course," I laughed. I found it funny that he was using my own tactics against me.

"Do you regret it now?" he asked seriously.

"No. I do regret that I almost took someone's life. But I don't regret being able to spend an eternity to with," I sighed. Even though I had experienced the demon, felt the hunger, I knew that I could stand it as long as Edward was on my side.

"I wouldn't have let you get to him,"

"Edward, I threw you off of me," I reminded him.

"Bella, I was afraid that I would hurt you," he admitted. I looked into his eyes and saw that he was being sincere.

"You have to promise me Edward, no matter what you'll keep me from hurting someone,"

"I'll try my best love,"

"Edward, you have to understand. If I hurt someone there is no way I could live with myself,"

"Bella…" he started.

"Promise me Edward, you'll take me down no matter what," I interrupted him. He had to understand that there were no buts in this situation. He had to take me down if I got close to hurting someone.

"Ok," he gave in.

"It would hurt me much worse for you to allow me to hurt someone,"

"I won't let you hurt anyone," he said pulling me into his arms. I allowed my head to rest against his chest. Listening his rhythmic breathing I felt completely at ease, just being in his arms made everything feel better.

"Bella," Edward said bringing me from my thoughts.

"Hm?"

"Carlisle would like to speak to us," he sighed.

"Ok," I replied. Undoubtedly he had heard of our mishap and wanted to speak to us about it. I just couldn't imagine what he was going to say. Getting off the bed Edward took my hand and led me to Carlisle's new office. I felt myself growing nervous, like a kid being led to the principal's office.

(A/N: I really hope you all enjoyed this chapter. To be honest I know nothing about the Alaskan wilderness so if I'm wrong please bare with me. I'd just like to thank all the reviewers! I love getting reviews; it pushes me to write more and more often! So, again I ask you all to please review and let me know how I'm doing. What could Carlisle possibly have to talk about with Edward and Bella? Will stricter rules be enforced? Can Bella over come the demon that is her hunger