A/N: As promised... you didn't have to wait too long :-).


Chapter 29

I'm rubbing my tired eyes, I am trying to stay focused but with the lack of sleep I have had, it is just plain hard. Catherine is still refusing to talk to me, it is almost been a week since I came clean. She has been avoiding me in the lab, so I only saw her a couple of times and she doesn't answer my calls. As a result I only slept about 10 hours in an entire week and it's beginning to show.

I am extremely moody, ready to chew anybody's head off and snap for no reason whatsoever. The guys have tried to talk to Catherine but it didn't help either, everyone walks on eggshells because from what I have heard Catherine's mood is even worse than mine. I miss her so much, I want to tell her how sorry I am and explain why I asked him out and why I forget to tell her but she doesn't let me.

My cheeks are wet and I wipe away the tears. It feels like I have been crying forever and I don't even care I am crying in a lab now. Anyone can see me, but I don't give a damn I'm only human I have feelings too. Out of the corner of my eye I see Catherine walking past my lab and heading for the locker room, I can't take this anymore I have to talk to her.

I enter the locker room seconds after she did and close the door, I lean back against it so nobody can interrupt us. 'I have to talk to you, I can't do this anymore.'

She looks at me a bit shocked, she clearly wasn't expecting me. 'Sara, I am not in the mood for this.'

'At least hear me out, let me explain why I did it.'

'I don't care why you did it, obviously you have a thing for Grissom but he rejected you so you went for the next best thing…me.' she is becoming pissed off again.

'You think I could do something like that…so my feelings for you are nothing more than sympathy…' the lack of sleep is making me irrational, my words are harsh and I have no intention to be nice to her.

'I so don't want to hear this, you can honestly say you didn't do it. Well Sara you did! You asked him out, then you kissed me. What do you want me to think?'

'Obviously you don't think! If you believe I could do something like that… you clearly don't know me at all.' I'm shouting at her, which only aggravates her more.

'I don't know you, I thought I did. How could I be so wrong?!'

'I am glad that's clear then, I am relieved you're no longer part of my life! Now if you'll excuse me I have a man to seduce!' I know I shouldn't have said that, but I am beyond the state of caring. I leave the locker room and just walk away from her, from everything…


One week turns into one month. I have lost all hope of ever getting back together with Catherine. After our fight in the locker room I didn't try to convince her she had it all wrong anymore. The guys still tried to get us back together, but eventually they too stopped trying. We are two really stubborn women and at the moment we are acting really childish too.

I still had bad mood swings and the guys had been victim of them loads of times, they were Catherine's victims too but she seemed to handle the situation much better than I did. Seeing her like this made it easier for me to cope and after a while it became bearable. It still hurt I am not going to deny that but I learned to move on. Obviously Catherine had, so why wouldn't I do the same…

Grissom was a totally different matter, ever since I asked him out he acted all strange around me. I had not only lost my girlfriend with that stupid action but also my best friend. Catherine on the other hand seemed closer to him than ever before and I wondered if she did that just to piss me off. I know she can be a real bitch but I don't think she would use Grissom like that.

Speaking about Grissom he just told me I was being pulled off my case, because I had to help with a rush case. Apparently Warrick found evidence he wasn't supposed to because the warrant didn't cover that and now everybody has to help to find useable evidence. I am not too pleased with that but when I tell Grissom he tells me firmly it's not a negotiation, great just what I needed…

Nick told me if the boss asks something you have to do it without second thought, I like to differ but I decided to give up and just go to work. Luckily the car we needed to process was pancaked, at first I was angry about that too but now I could use the power tools and put all my anger into the car. I had a great time and it worked, we maybe even found something useful, white fibers of the 'invisible' towel.

As I was walking through the lab I saw Catherine talking to a female detective that worked the scene with her. They were acting pretty friendly, a bit too friendly for my liking. I felt my blood starting to boil again so I decided to go into a lab and have another look at some of the evidence. It's the only thing that can distract me enough, I notice the bed sheet hanging to the wall with photos of the scene next to it. A pair of fresh eyes…

I don't know how long I have been standing there, when Grissom enters the lab and asks if I'm checking his work. I tell him I'm just looking and he wants to know what I'm thinking so I start to explain how I think the wax got transferred onto the sheet. He has to pin me down and then he has to place his hands next to my sides. We are looking at each other when I realize how this would look for an outsider. What if Catherine would walk past the lab…

I step away from him and want to tell him about Catherine and me, 'Grissom, um I um wanted to talk to you about something.' then I realize I can't do that not now that our relationship is strained and I didn't really talk to him after the date incident.

'Go ahead.' He is waiting for me to say something. Think Sidle, you have to come up with something.

'Well, you know, I applied for the promotion for the key position.' That was a close one…

He looks confused and I think he noticed the change, maybe I didn't pull it off quite as convincing as I thought, hopefully he just plays along. He nods 'Your application's on my desk.'

'About that … I, um ... I needed to know ...' I stop not sure of what to say next, actually this is something I wanted to talk about too, just not now. 'I ... I wanted to make sure, rather, that anything that happened or didn't happen between us won't be a factor.'

He looks lost, he doesn't have a clue what I am talking about, honestly I don't have a clue either. Yes I applied for the position, but Grissom is just not the person to let his emotions cloud his decision. He knows I'm aware of that and he knows I wanted to speak with him about something else. I have confused him and a confused Grissom is hard to deal with, he clamps up, I have to end this awkward situation fast 'Never mind, I … I shouldn't have said anything.'

He looks stunned and doesn't say anything, Grissom don't do this to me. I'm feeling embarrassed and want to get out of here as soon as possible, I smile at him 'I, um … I'm always over-talking around you.' Then I flee the lab.

Of course my torture does not end… I run flat into Catherine. I mutter an honest apology and walk quickly away, but I see what she's looking at. Oh no, she looking at the lab I came from and she is going to see a flustered Grissom just standing there, still trying to figure out what happened. Damn I'm doomed!


Thanks for reading! I promise you it will get better...if I get my reviews!