I'm back! Did absolutely no writing while I was away so updating will be slower than usual for the time being as I get back into the swing of things, so to speak.


The Normandy had just departed Feros, having spent a couple of days with the colonists of Zhu's Hope. Shepard was sat in the mess, surrounded by his team, who were chatting amongst themselves, feeling proud of everything he and his team had achieved. The communal residents from Presrop were now happily at home on Feros, Fai Dan, Juliana and all the other colonists proving to be nothing but welcoming of the new additions to their colony. At their request, he retained the ExoGeni data he had collected during their original visit with the assurance that he would sit on it but otherwise do nothing with it for now.

Part of him would have preferred to release the data. He considered ExoGeni little more than criminals after everything he and his team had discovered, and was left intrigued as to where Jeong was located. He didn't believe for a second that someone like Jeong would have killed himself in the blast. He was out there somewhere. Shepard would take pleasure in hunting him down.

Shepard looked at Alenko sat opposite him. He wondered what his Lieutenant was thinking about his personal situation regarding his old friend.

"How are you feeling, Alenko, after everything that's happened?"

"About what, Commander?"

Shepard couldn't help but smirk. "Don't play the fool with me, Alenko. We've done plenty of talking about some things from your past."

Alenko grinned. "I feel good, Commander. I feel… good. It was just great to see Rahna again after all that time. It was such a surprise to see her at Kyle's commune. But now I know that she's safe and sound with the colony. She'll be looked after. She has people who care for her. Hopefully she can now move on with her life."

"Were the issues you had resolved?"

"There were no issues, Commander. I understand why she reacted like she did when all that happened at BAaT. There was certainly nothing to forgive on my part. No matter what, I said she can count on me as a friend, as someone she can rely on, whenever she needed. But not just her. I'm left feeling…" Alenko paused for a moment, deep in thought. "I'm left feeling that I need to do something to help these people. Those who survived what happened at BAaT. I'm not sure what, if anything, I can do to help. I'll have to give it some thought."

"Whatever you decide, Alenko, remember that you have my support one hundred percent. We need to make what happened right. We've already done a little bit. But there are more out there who need our help and support. We'll see what we can do."

"Thanks, Commander. That means… a lot."

"As I always say, Alenko, thanks are not necessary. You're part of my team and I'm here to help. Not just as your C.O, but as your friend as well."

Alenko just gave a nod of his head.

"What's the next mission, Commander?" asked Ashley, sat next to Alenko.

"Tali picked up some data about a colony that's gone quiet while were on Feros last time. Apparently ExoGeni were involved in something with our old friends."

"Old friends?" asked Garrus.

Shepard nodded, anger flashing across his eyes that everyone noticed, fists balling ever so slightly, jaw setting that little bit firmer. Everyone recognised his emotions. There could only be one reason.

"Cerberus?" asked Ashley.

Shepard nodded his head again.

"And ExoGeni were involved with them?"

"From the data Tali fetched, it appears to be the case."

"That's all we need," muttered Garrus. He looked up to notice a few surprised faces looking back at him. "I know I'm a turian, and these are mostly human issues, but even I can recognise the unnecessary evil acts being perpetrated by these corporations. If we let human corporations get away with this, who will try next? Turian? Asari? Salarian? No, it must be stopped now before it spreads."

"So what's the plan, Commander?" asked Ashley.

"I've instructed Pressly to plot a course to a planet by the name of Chasca. There is a very small colony being established, though apart from that, details are sketchy."

"I can understand ExoGeni's involvement, as we know they have a record of establishing colonies, but how are Cerberus linked?"

"Without taking some wild but obvious guesses, I don't know why Cerberus would be interested. That is what concerns me most, Ashley. As soon as we're near orbit, we'll assemble and get planet-side to find out what is going on."


Tali's hands flew over the console in front of her, making sure the shields were set and the air-conditioning was fully functioning, as she sat in the Mako beside Shepard, waiting for the usual fall to the ground below. There were almost unwritten rules in how Shepard's team now operated – Tali was always besides Shepard in the front of the Mako, Garrus was always the one who fixed the Mako and manned the gun on mission and Shepard always drove. That, alone, was not negotiable.

Shepard revved the engine as he edged the Mako to the edge of the hangar bay door. Tali looked up from the console but could only see clouds below her for the time being, though she aware that the Normandy was travelling at a tremendous rate of knots.

"All set, Tali?" asked Shepard.

"Ready and waiting to go, Shepard. Shields are functioning as normal, Garrus has plenty of ammo and the air-conditioning is set to a crisp 18 degrees," replied Tali. She heard Shepard chuckle as she explained. "It's going to be hot down there, Shepard. We need air-con!"

"Fair enough, Tali." Shepard revved the engine again.

"10 seconds!" came the call from Joker over the radio.

"So what's the plan this time, Shepard? Double somersault with a twist?"

Shepard looked at Tali, almost disbelieving what he was hearing. "Are you cracking jokes, Tali?"

Tali just shrugged her shoulders. "I'm used to this now, Shepard. It's actually quite… exhilarating!"

Shepard looked about ready to respond when the call from Joker came to depart the ship. Shepard floored the accelerator and the Mako fell out of the ship, falling to the ground in its usual not so graceful fashion.

"YEE-HA!" shouted Tali as she felt the thrusters engage. A couple of seconds later the Mako touched down on the ground. Shepard brought the Mako to a stop and turned towards Tali, an incredulous look on his face, looking like he was trying very hard not to burst out laughing.

"Tali, did you just shout 'Yee-ha'?" he asked before he finally burst out laughing.

Tali blushed behind her mask. "Well, I remember you mentioning those films back on Feros. The westerns. I did a little bit of research and I've watched a few of them. I particularly liked those animals that they rode. What are they called, horses?"

"You're not comparing something as majestic as a horse to this lump of metal, are you, Tali?"

"Not at all, Shepard. It just felt an appropriate time to use that phrase as we fell from space."

Shepard looked about to retort again when a voice came from behind. "You know, if you two are quite done chatting between yourselves, we do have a mission to get on with."

Tali blushed again as Shepard just grumbled. "Yes, Lieutenant. Right away, Lieutenant," stated with obvious sarcasm. Tali heard Alenko and Ashley laugh between themselves behind.

"Spirits, why I am surrounded by these people…" muttered Garrus.

"Garrus, you'll learn that sometimes humour is needed before we go and deal with what I think we're going to deal with," explained Shepard, "That is one of many things I learned from Anderson. He said the best thing a C.O can do is make sure everyone is relaxed before a mission."

"I sometimes forget humans deal with things differently, Shepard."

Shepard put the vehicle in drive and the Mako lurched forward as Shepard continued to talk. "We're probably not as different as you think, Garrus. Don't turians crack jokes while in a shuttle on the way to fight? Keep things light and relaxed? It's one of the best way to deal with nerves."

"Depends on the turian and the Commanding Officer at the time, I guess, Shepard. Personally, I don't mind the occasional joke, particularly before a mission. I've already swapped a few good ones with Joker. However, I do have to agree with the point that the majority of turians do have, what did Joker call it, a stick up their ass?"

The whole Mako burst into laughter.

"Don't worry, Garrus. Quite a few humans have one of those as well."

"Shepard, there's a facility about 500 metres away to the south-west," stated Tali.

"Okay, game faces everyone. We have no idea what we're facing here."

The Mako descended into silence, the only sounds being the roar of the engines, the clank of the suspension as the Mako flew over the rough terrain, and the whir of the cannon as Garrus checked for any potential targets. Tali was peering out the front of the Mako as the structure came into view.

"Contacts, Shepard!" announced Garrus.

"Who or what are they, Garrus?" replied Shepard, peering out the front of the Mako.

"Husks."

Silence immediately enveloped the Mako. Tali looked across at Shepard, who looked back at her. She could read his face easily, what he was thinking. She heard Shepard sigh. "Light 'em up, Garrus," he stated. She could hear the sadness in his tone. The machine gun started to chatter. Garrus didn't announce the hits. Everyone was now fully aware of what was happening.

"Shepard, they aren't…," Tali started to ask quietly but stopped. She didn't want to ask. She didn't want an answer. She didn't know much about what husks actually were, but she knew they used to be human. Shepard just looked at her again. Didn't nod or shake his head. Tried to keep his face blank, but she could read his eyes. He just reached across, grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Shepard eventually brought the Mako to a halt outside the structure, ordering everyone out. Tali exited and walked around to where Shepard was waiting for everyone to assemble. She had a quick look at her surroundings. She could see mountains in the distance while she could see grass fields as far as the eye could see. She could almost feel the tremendous warmth of the planet through her suit. She figured the humans would be sweating buckets in the heat.

"Right, let's get inside and get this over with," stated Shepard flatly. Tali heard the tone. She couldn't be sure if he was angry or upset. Either way, she fell in behind him, shotgun already in hand, and the rest of his group following him through the first door of the facility. Shepard and Garrus took one side of the next door each, Shepard nodding, Garrus pushing the button. Before anyone took a step in, the growls of husks inside echoed through.

"Just put them down," instructed Shepard.

The five worked as quickly as possible, never letting the husks get close enough to discharge an electric shock. Tali, Garrus and Alenko were able to use their tech skills to eliminate some of the husks without requiring the use of their weapons and soon the bodies of at least a dozen husks littered the floor. Tali stored her shotgun as the five looked around the facility. There were clear signs that this had originally been some form of residence. There were bunks lined up against one wall, a kitchen towards the back where plenty of non-perishable food was found. Wardrobes and cupboards were found to be full of clothing. It was clear who these husks once were.

I have to get out of here.

Tali turned and walked out of the facility, wondering how ExoGeni, Cerberus or whoever was responsible could do such a thing. She wasn't outside alone for long, as Shepard and the others joined her. Shepard looked at Tali, wordlessly checking she was okay, but otherwise stormed past towards the Mako.

Keelah, he is utterly furious.

"Okay, Tali?" asked Ashley, stopping beside her.

"Yes… No…. I don't know… It's a lot to take in. And that's only the first facility."

The roar of the Mako's engine sounded, the signal for everyone to board up. The trip to the second facility took place in virtual silence, the joking and joviality having completely disappeared. Tali looked at Shepard, his jaw set firm, his eyes ablaze in anger. She could see the tension in his body by how he gripped the steering wheel. Tali would normally have said something, but her own mind was racing with thoughts. As the Mako pulled up outside the second facility, she heard Shepard mutter something under his breath. She looked up from her console at him first, before staring out the front window. She wasn't sure what he was looking at.

"Shepard?" she asked.

"Dragon's teeth," he stated.

Once again the five exited the Mako, following Shepard towards the dragon's teeth. He stopped before them, simply staring ahead. Tali stopped beside him.

"What are dragon's teeth, Shepard?"

"You really don't want to know, Tali. I've seen how they are used. Let's just say these are what produce the husks." He then sighed. "Come on, better clear out this one. Put them out of their misery."

The team cleared the second facility even quicker than the first. It wasn't a race, the team just wanted to finish the task as quickly as possible. Killing geth verged on being enjoyable. Killing mercenaries or pirates was just part of the job. Killing husks, knowing what they really were… Everyone was dealing with it in their own way. Again, the group searched the facility. Again, it was much like the first. Tali looked around herself, running her hand over various surfaces, thinking about who must have lived here. She opened one of the wardrobes, taking in the human clothing and designs. She found clothing she figured were for females. Long dresses and short skirts. She smiled slightly at the thought of perhaps one day being able to wear such things herself, though she knew it would never actually happen.

Then she found clothing for children.

She gasped and felt tears sting her eyes.

Not that. Anything but that. No-one could be so cruel.

They couldn't have… Surely no-one is capable of that sort of evil?

"Shepard…," she called out quietly. She felt him walk towards her and come to a stop as she held the small clothing in her hand. She looked up at his face as he looked down at the clothing. She saw him tense up completely as if ready to simply explode. She watched him slowly turn and walk away into another room, closing the door behind him. She watched as Alenko went to follow him in then stop at the door.

They all heard the shouting and cursing. The crashing of whatever was in the other room. It only went on for a minute or so.

Then it went silent.

All four watched as the door then re-opened and out stalked Shepard. He simply gave the signal for them to fall in and follow. Tali put the clothing back where it was and quietly closed the wardrobe door, before slowly walking out of the facility. She couldn't believe everything she'd just seen.

It was probably only going to get worse.

"Where's the third facility, Tali?" asked Shepard once they'd boarded the Mako again.

"North. At the top of that hill over there," replied Tali, pointing ahead with her hand. It was clearly shaking. Despite his own clear anger and rage, she still felt Shepard reach over and take her hand, giving it another squeeze.

"It will be over soon, Tali."

Garrus didn't even make a joke as Shepard steered the Mako in the most direct path up the mountain towards the last facility. Unlike the previous two, this facility was built deep into the ground. There were more dragon's teeth outside.

"They're going to pay for this," muttered Shepard under his breath.

Without saying another word, Shepard signalled his team to follow, Tali again falling in behind like usual. Down the steps they walked, their footsteps echoing in the silence. The facility was still powered up, the hum of air conditioning and each room brightly lit. The first two hallways and the first room were completely empty. Then came the central area. Full of husks. Without another word, the team put them down. Tali didn't even want to count how many bodies were on the floor by the time they were finished. By their faces, neither did anyone else. Shepard stored his rifle as he took a look around the room.

"Check the consoles. See what information you can find. I don't care who or what it is. ExoGeni or Cerberus. Or a group we don't even know about. I want something from all of this."

Tali walked towards a console, bringing up various menus. There was plenty of data available about the experiments that had been carried out.

Then she found another menu.

Video.

"Shepard, I think I may have found something."

She heard Shepard approach and felt his presence next to her as her finger, shaking ever so slightly, hovered over the button to press play.

She heard Shepard sigh. "Play it, Tali."

All five watched and heard the horror play out on the screen. She heard Garrus mutter 'Spirits' more than once. She heard Ashley cry quietly behind her. She heard Alenko shuffle then his steps disappear out of the room. She heard Shepard's teeth grind against each other as his jaw clenched ever tighter. Tali silently cried behind her mask.

"You don't have to watch this, Tali," stated Shepard softly, "Ashley, Garrus, you too. Just go. You don't have to watch this."

Tali couldn't watch any more. It was simply… horrific wouldn't even being to describe it. She turned and walked away, turning back only the once, to see Shepard stand alone, his fists clenched at his side, as he watched the screen in silence.


Shepard blew out his cheeks, remembering the mission his team had undertaken a couple of days previously, as he was busy writing up his mission report at the terminal in his quarters. The anger was still there, after everything he and his team had seen, but like usual, once the mission was over it was under control. Barely, but under control. He heard a knock at his door. Figuring it would just be Tali, he simply shouted out for her to enter. He was somewhat surprised to turn and see Adams enter the room. He stood up as the other male stopped and saluted.

"Adams," stated Shepard, returning the salute, "What's the problem?"

"It's Tali, Commander."

"Tali? What's wrong?"

"I'm not exactly sure. But I think you should go talk to her. She's… she's not in a good way, Commander."

Shepard raised his eyebrows in surprise. "How do you mean?"

"I think she's upset about something, Commander. And, well, we all know she trusts you more than anyone. We've asked her and she hasn't said anything."

"Thanks, Adams. I'll go straight down."

Come on, Shepard. She was clearly distraught about what we saw.

Adams nodded and saluted again, turning and walking out his room. Shepard followed him out, Adams walking to the mess and taking a seat with the rest of his engineers, while Shepard walked to the elevator, feeling guilty about the fact he hadn't talked to her about it.

Idiot. Why weren't you there for her?!

Once the elevator descended, Shepard made his usual turn towards engineering. He entered the core to notice it was empty except for Tali, who was standing at her normal console. She looked fine as she was standing there, or at least Shepard thought.

He slowly approached her. "Tali?" he asked quietly.

Tali turned around, noticed who it was, and immediately took two steps towards Shepard and threw her arms around him. Shepard heard the cries. Felt her body shake in her arms. She was an absolute wreck.

"What's wrong, Tali?"

Stupid question, Shepard.

"Just hold me, Shepard. Please…," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Shepard did as requested and just held her close, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. He didn't know how long they stayed there for. Apart from the occasional sob, the only sound was the low hum of the drive core. And his heart beating in his own ears. Eventually Shepard felt Tali had calmed down and there was just the occasional sniff. He continued to hold her though.

I have to ask. She has to get it off her chest.

"What's wrong, Tali?" he asked again.

"How can people do that to each other? We've seen so much already, Shepard. What ExoGeni did to those colonists on Feros. Whoever was responsible for what happened to the colonists on Chasca. Who knows what else we are going to see going forward? It's the stuff of nightmares, Shepard. I can't stop thinking about everything we've seen."

Nightmares? Is she not sleeping again? She sounds exhausted.

"Tali, when did you last sleep?"

"I don't know. When did we go on that last mission?"

Shepard didn't even need to think. To her obvious surprise, as she let out a startled gasp, Shepard picked her up in his arms and carried her out of the core. He boarded the elevator, Tali laying her head against his shoulder. He heard her sigh ever so slightly as the elevator slowly rose. He was surprised at how light she was. Or maybe he was just stronger than he realised.

Alenko and most of his ground crew were sat in the mess and looked up in utter shock, mouths agape, as they noticed Shepard stride across the mess with Tali in his arms. They all looked at each other, eyes wide, as Shepard walked by and into his quarters with her.

"What's all that about?" wondered Alenko.

"You don't think…," started Ashley.

Adams was sat at another table with his engineers and heard the conversation start up. "She's upset about something, Alenko. And I don't think she's slept in days. Maybe the Commander is letting her sleep in his room. He's done it before, remember. As for that, well, the Commander is a gentleman, or that's what Tali has let slip anyway."

In his quarters, Shepard lay Tali down gently on his bed, on the other side to which he slept. He could see her look up at him. He knew she was giving him a questioning look.

"Sleep in here, Tali. I've got enough to do to keep me busy for hours. I'll figure something out later."

"Can you stay for a little while?"

Shepard grinned. "Of course."

Shepard just held her hand, sitting on the side of his bed as Tali lay down, curling up and taking as little space as possible. He heard her yawn every so often and her eyes started to dim behind her mask. Soon the small glowing orbs disappeared completely and Shepard knew she was finally asleep. He stayed a bit longer, a slight grin on his face as he watched her sleep. He knew why she was upset and why she hadn't slept. It was enough for him to deal with, and he'd seen plenty in his life. He was glad he could bring her as much comfort as she brought to him.

Shepard eventually got up and walked out of his room, noticing that most of his ground crew were sat together in the mess, all looking up at him as he stood there collecting his thoughts.

Here we go again.

He ran a hand down his face before he turned and walked towards them, taking a seat at the end next to Ashley.

"Everything alright with Tali, Commander?" asked Alenko.

"She's incredibly upset and absolutely exhausted at the same time. I think everything we've seen on Feros and then what we found recently on Chasca finally took its toll on her. I'm not surprised. It's a lot for anyone to deal with. And, I know you're wondering, she's barely slept in days so that's why she's in my room now."

"Understandable," said Garrus, "Most of us here are soldiers, Shepard. Unfortunately we get used to seeing the worst in ourselves and each other."

Alenko and Ashley shared a look as Garrus spoke. Ashley shook her head ever so slightly before Alenko turned his attention back to Shepard.

"Commander...," he started before halting for a moment, "Shepard, we…"

Shepard looked up in surprise at Alenko at the use of his own name, causing Alenko to stop speaking for a moment.

"LT, don't…" started Ashley.

"Listen, Shepard, we need to say something."

"Alenko, stop. You said you wouldn't get involved," interrupted Ashley.

"Shepard, why don't you just…"

Shepard held up a hand for him to stop. "Alenko, just… don't… Just leave it alone. And especially not now. It's not the best time. Really, it's not."

"But Shepard…"

Shepard slammed his fist on the table, startling everyone sat around him. "Dammit, just don't, Alenko. Please. Just leave it alone. I know what you're going to say. I know what you're all thinking after what you've just seen. She's just a friend. For the last time, she can only ever be a friend."

No matter how much I want it to be more…

Everyone picked up on the tone. Unlike times before, when he was clearly angry at all the gossip, the tone now was just one of… sadness. Shepard felt a squeeze on his shoulder, looking up at Ashley sat alongside him, who gave a slight smile.

Shepard stood up and looked at his team. "I should go," he said quietly with a sigh. The table watched in silence as he walked slowly out of the mess. Everyone remaining at the table looked at each other, left rather speechless again. The group stayed silent for a few minutes, wondering if Shepard would reappear or not. Alenko finally spoke up.

"He's completely at a loss. Never thought I'd see the day when Shepard was so unsure of something. Compare the man we see on the battlefield, even the one we usually see on a day to day basis, to the one we just saw, and you'd almost say he was… broken. I don't understand why he doesn't just say something?"

"It may not just be that, Alenko. What you saw on Chasca would have affected him as well. But… I'll go talk to him," stated Liara, everyone looking at her in surprise. She gave a slight grin. "He's a friend and he's obviously dealing with something very personal. Perhaps someone non-Alliance, even non-human, may help him open up."

The three others at the table all just gave a brief nod as Liara stood up and walked out of the mess. First she looked upstairs to see if he was in the CIC but there was no sign of him there, nor in the comm. room or up front in the cockpit with Joker. She then walked back to the elevator, checking engineering, where Adams and his fellow engineers turned around and smiled, but still no sign of Shepard. She eventually found him alone in the dark, at the back of the hangar bay, sat back leaning against a wall. He didn't look up as she walked over towards him, eventually taking a seat next to him on the floor.

"How are you, Shepard?"

"Just great, Liara," he responded with sarcasm, before letting out a sigh. "Sorry, I shouldn't have responded like that. And sorry about that in the mess. Didn't mean to startle you."

"That's okay, Shepard. I can see you're dealing with something personal."

Shepard gave a short laugh, Liara picking up the bitterness in the tone. "Something personal… Yeah…"

"Shepard, Alenko is at least partly right."

She heard him sigh again. "I know he is. I know to what he was referring."

"Then why don't you say something?"

"Because I can't even explain to myself what I'm feeling. I've never dealt with anything like this before. It's all very… new. And confusing. You spend nearly 30 years of your life alone and life is relatively uncomplicated. For the past ten years, it was easy. I have the mission. And I have the service. That's it. Very simple, just the way I like it. Always figured I'd be dead by now anyway.

Then someone comes along in your life and now I have no idea what's going on in here," he finished, a finger to his forehead.

"What about in there?" asked Liara, leaning over slightly and pointing at his heart.

"That doesn't always get what it wants, Liara. I've learned that lesson many times throughout my life. One more time isn't going to matter in the grand scheme of things."

"But you do have a great amount of affection for her, don't you?"

"Of course. She's a good friend. And I care about her a lot. I've probably made that quite explicit by now. She means a lot to me."

"What about more than a friend?"

Liara heard another bitter laugh. "It would be impossible. And I can't." He let out a deep breath. "I don't know…" He let out another breath. "I just can't," he finished quietly.

"Why not, Shepard?"

"I just can't! Why don't people understand that? Why doesn't everyone just leave it alone? Is it so important to people that they must interfere in my personal affairs? I just… can't do it," he nearly shouted. He looked at Liara, who was surprised to see no anger at all on his face. She looked into his eyes. She watched as a tear ran down his cheek while he continually flexed it fists. She couldn't tell if he was angry, sad or something else entirely.

"Shepard, I'm here as a friend. Whatever you say, it's just between you and me. I promise."

"I just can't," he said again softly.

Goddess, he really is struggling with it...

"Why not, Shepard?" Liara asked again softly.

"Liara, I know what you're trying to do. But please, just leave me alone. I have nothing more to say. I will deal with everything in my own usual way. Alone."

Liara didn't argue again. She just looked at Shepard a last time before giving a brief nod and stood up. She started to walk away, taking a look back at Shepard who remained sitting alone, elbows on his knees, and head in his hands. Back in the mess, three sets of eyes looked up at her as she took her seat back next to Alenko. She just shook her head.

"Nothing?" asked Alenko.

"Oh, there's no doubt in my mind there's only one thing he's thinking about. And I'm in no doubt that he's completely and utterly in love with her. But from what he did say, I don't think he's ever… fallen in love before. He seems terribly confused by it all."

"He's never been in love?" asked Ashley in some surprise, "I know the Commander doesn't talk about his personal life, but I would never have thought he'd never... been in love before."

Liara nodded. "He said he's only ever had the service. I guess when you add what we know about his childhood, then add his service record, the fact he's an N7 and now a Spectre, and fact he never speaks about anything to do with his private life... it makes sense. And I guess it's why he's down there, feeling totally out of his depth about how he feels about her."

"What else did he say?"

"Aside from that, he just kept saying he can't say anything. I think his own feelings for her genuinely scare him. He's very intense at the moment. Not just from that, of course. The entire mission must be taking its toll. Nothing usually seems to faze him, particularly in front of us. He rarely lets any emotion show. But... it's clear his love for her must be incredibly strong. I think we've already seen flashes of that, like when he blew up in that argument they had, just after she was injured. I think he's scared about getting too close and losing her. We've already heard him say it. I get the feeling he thinks that if he denies everything he's feeling to himself and to us, it'll eventually go away and he or she won't get hurt in the end."

"See, LT, this is what happens when you get involved. He seemed perfectly fine until you decided to open your trap," stated Ashley, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

"I know. I know. But at least this time he didn't seem angry about it, at all. I feel kind of guilty, like we made him sad; just to even contemplate how he must really feel. And I'm left feeling he can't or won't do anything about it."

Garrus finally spoke up. "She makes him happy. Why don't you guys just finally leave it at that? Let's look at facts. Shepard and Tali are happy together, whether they know or reveal how they feel to each other or not. We work together well as a team in addition to that. In fact, we probably work better because of how close some of us are. It's not like we're being left uncomfortable, or we're walking on eggshells around them. I think that's the human term, right? The only thing pissing him off is trying to confront him about it. Missions are being completed successfully. And we'll eventually catch Saren and take the bastard down. Who cares who is in love with whom in the end? "

"Garrus the voice of reason? What is the galaxy coming to?" cracked Ashley, "But, you're right, Garrus. LT, no more meddling, okay?"

"Okay, but you can see what I'm trying to do, right? We're all friends, and that's what friends do, try and help?"

"Of course, Kaidan. But I think this is something he has to deal with himself," replied Liara.

Alenko was sat alone in the mess later that evening when Shepard appeared from out of the elevator. He looked up trying to get his attention. Shepard nodded at him first, before he walked to the kitchen to grab a drink. He took a seat across from Alenko, taking a sip from the bottle of water he grabbed.

Alenko cleared his throat, shifting slightly uncomfortably.

"What's on your mind, Alenko?"

"Commander, I'm…. sorry."

"What for?"

"For meddling in your personal… stuff."

Alenko was surprised that Shepard actually chuckled. "Yeah, if that's what you want to call it, Alenko. But it's fine, don't worry about it."

Alenko just grinned slightly, surprised at Shepard's change in attitude. He was left wondering why.

"Listen, Alenko, I know you all think you're trying to help. And while I appreciate, in some way, what you are all trying to do, there are many reasons… personal reasons… why I can't... do anymore." Shepard sighed before continuing. "I'll put it plain and simple, Alenko. I care for Tali a great deal. She means a lot to me, not just as part of the team, but on a personal level as well. She's a very good friend. And I trust her completely, professionally and personally. Can we just leave it at that and move on? We all know where we stand."

"Of course, Commander."

"I know you all gossip, Alenko. It's a small ship, with a small crew. People are bound to talk." Shepard watched Alenko pull a face, but waved his hand dismissively. "As long as it doesn't interfere with myself, Tali or the mission, and doesn't cause any issues between the team dynamic, then as long as you keep it to yourself, and away from the ears of Tali and I, then…" Shepard shrugged his shoulders almost in defeat, "Well, I don't think there is actually much I can do, is there? I'm not going to kick you off the ship for simple gossip. But I'm asking you, as a friend, please, just drop it."

Alenko looked down at his hands guiltily. "Okay, Commander. I get the message. Well and truly…"

"Good. Come on, it's late and we should get some sleep."

The two stood up and walked towards the pods. Alenko didn't say anything as Shepard walked alongside him up the gangway.

"I'll see you in the morning, Alenko."

"Sure, Commander."

Shepard had years of sleeping in pods and found drifting off to sleep was of little problem. But he found he dreamt of only one thing that night. One person who was constantly on his mind. He didn't want to dream. But both his heart and mind wanted only one thing. The one thing that he knew that he must also deny himself, his dreams teasing him with a future he knew would not be possible...