invisibleme1835: Eleven :) Russul is Rue's youngest brother. 'I see the rebel "from" District Eleven – Loranne – navigate her way to Russul.' Loranne is actually a rebel from Thirteen, however. :)
I don't own the Hunger Games.
(Katniss POV)
"Hot chocolate, hot chocolate!"
I turn around to see Tom carrying a drink tray of – can you guess? – hot chocolate. I remain seated, though, because Rue is sitting next to me. Peeta and I don't like leaving her by herself. She seems so fragile nowadays: she hasn't been saying much, which worries more of Peeta than me. I don't feel very anxious about it. She's been eating. She's totally healthy. I know the real symptoms of heartbreak, and what Rue's going through right now isn't that. She's sad, yeah, but she's not letting that stop her from living. (Sleeping is a different story, obviously. Nights are just as painful as they've always been.)
The screen in front of us is black. They're broadcasting the Games in about fifteen minutes.
Tom comes up beside me, bending down to offer Rue and me some hot chocolate. "Can you believe it?" he says with a small smile. "I didn't even have to sneak this. Coin was in the kitchen when I wanted to get the drinks, and she just said to take it!"
I return the smile, only because scowling would be rude. "Thanks." I hand Rue a cup. She holds it in her hands, fingers overlapping. Her eyes remain glazed, looking at the floor.
Tom looks like he's trying to smile, trying to ease the scene.
Either way, I appreciate his efforts.
"Tom?" I say suddenly, as he's about to leave.
I can hear him stop in his tracks. "Yes, Miss 'niss?"
I turn around to face him. He's looking at me expectantly. Reluctantly, I whisper, "Peeta told me about Cee."
You can see it in the way he suddenly changes: his muscles tense, his eyes flicker away, his faint smile disappears. "Oh." Tom licks his lips. This is the Tom I don't know, with no confidence and happiness, with all the walls let down. He looks away, turning his head the opposite direction. "You don't have to feel sorry for me. It was a long time ago. I'd forgotten about her, you know, it was –"
"Tom," I say abruptly. He stops, looking at me. "I don't feel sorry for you."
"Oh."
"It's okay to be sad about it," I say. The words don't feel right in my mouth. They feel like something Peeta would say. This isn't my job, to make people feel better. I have a feeling that Peeta's never extended a hand to his brother this way, though. Their relationship doesn't work that way.
Peeta is rubbing off on me.
"I..." Tom hesitates. "I don't even..."
"Even if you didn't care about her recently, you did once," I say gently. "And that's enough to make you sad. She was your first kiss, wasn't she? First girl you really paid attention to?"
Tom laughs hollowly. "Peeta told you that, too?"
"Kind of. He never said specifically," I say.
Tom closes his eyes. Then, half-smiling, he chokes, "Can I have a hug?"
Same old Tom. I laugh a little and stand up to give him a hug.
"I'm here for you, brother," I say with a grin.
Tom laughs. "Thanks, little sister. Same goes to you." Wiping his eyes, he hastily goes to hand out the rest of the hot chocolates.
Peeta comes near just then, snatching a hot chocolate from Tom's tray as he passes. He raises a brow at me. "What was that about?"
I smile. "Nothing. You know, you're lucky to have a brother. Like Tom, that is."
"Am I, really," says Peeta, clearly confused. I just give him a small shrug. And then, because he's Peeta and he understands things that normal people don't usually, he says, "Oh."
I look at him, raising my eyebrows.
"You talked to him about Cee."
I smile and shrug again.
Peeta smiles back at me. "You know, I think he's really happy to have you as a 'little sister'. I think he really considers you as part of the family."
I look around to where the Mellarks are sitting and then back to Peeta. "Trust me, it can feel like that sometimes, with you and Tom. But..."
"She'll come around," says Peeta instantly.
I kind of doubt it.
When Loranne and Russul wake up on the second day of the Games, Loranne immediately decides that they can't go on like that. It would be unsafe to have both of them asleep at the same time, but Russul can't keep watch, since he's... well, seven. So, Loranne sets up a scene with one of the other rebels from District Four: a nineteen year-old boy named Michel.
Michel and Loranne begin fighting after she pushes Russul out of the way. When Michel fakes losing, he says heavily, "Okay, okay. Alliance?"
Loranne pretends to hesitate.
"I promise!" says Michel earnestly. "I won't try to hurt you."
Loranne backs away and then says dryly, "Promises are meant to be broken, kid."
Michel smiles. "Yeah, well."
"Russul," says Loranne, "we're all right."
Rue's little brother comes out from his hiding place behind the tree, looking timidly up at Michel. Again, acting to be surprised, Michel looks to Loranne. "You have the kid."
Loranne laughs. "Listen, Michel, you're as much of a kid to me as Russul is."
"He's just going to hold everyone back," says Michel. Loranne frowns and opens her mouth to say something, but then Michel jumps. "Ow!"
Russul holds another stone in his hand, ready to chuck it at Michel again. "No one's asking you to stay," he says indignantly. "We're inviting you to join us."
Michel raises a brow, clearly amused. "Okay. I get the point." He holds his hand out for Russul to shake. "Allies?"
Giving the hand a wary look for about three seconds, Russul nods. "Fine." He shakes.
And almost instantly after that, the familiar silver parachutes fall from out of the sky. "Already?" says Loranne. Her tone is impressed, but everyone in Thirteen knows what it really is: excitement.
The plans have been in order since the interviews a few days ago, but today, we need to put it in place. The bread that they're getting now is code for the time of the rescue. The district where the bread originates indicates the day. (Its tinted green, like the bread from District Four.) We're rescuing them on the fourth day – two days from today. Then, the number of rolls indicates the hour: twelve.
Loranne counts the breads carefully, almost obsessively.
"What are you doing, Loranne?" says Russul, baffled.
"Just counting," says Loranne. "Four for each of us. We should ration it."
"So we have twelve?" Michel asks.
Loranne nods. "Twelve," she confirms, handing one to Michel and Russul each.
"Smells like home," Michel notes carefully.
"Yep," says Loranne, nodding and munching on hers.
Michel looks at Loranne for a while longer before nodding. "Well, we're set for the day, then."
Loranne smiles wryly. "Sounds simple."
"It is," says Michel with a small laugh. "Until it isn't."
...
At around sunset, Coin allows Rue and me out from the underground. We bring Peeta with us – "for protection," we tell Coin – but really, Rue just wants to be alone. So Peeta and I let her. She kicks around pebbles, murmuring quietly to no one...
"You know, I think she blames herself," I tell Peeta quietly.
Peeta raises a brow. "You think?"
"Yeah. She thinks she could have done something. Brought her family to Thirteen..." I say slowly. I think this because it's what I would be thinking. Rue and I aren't too different in that way. The most important thing to us is our family's safety, and what throws us over the edge is when that safety is threatened. The first instinct is always to blame yourself, because the immediate thought is almost all the time, You could have done something.
"Should we talk to her?" Peeta asks.
It's weird to have Peeta asking me what to do in this scenario. Usually, he's the one with the real understanding of people.
I shrug. "I don't know. I say we give it a while. If all goes according to plan –"
"– and let's hope it does –" mutters Peeta.
"– then her family is going to be safe within a few days," I say. We're breaking out the rebels in the arena in two days, but the remainder of her family is coming to Thirteen by tomorrow night. Hopefully.
Peeta sighs, frowning.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"I just think that it's not that good of an idea," he admits. "We can't evacuate everyone."
I give him a sidelong glance, a bit irritated by that comment because I've been putting myself in Rue's position – imagining what it would be like to be targeted, to have my family as bait – and I'm taking it personally. "Only the important people, Peeta."
"Everyone's important, Katniss."
I'm irritated again; only, this time, I'm irritated because it's true.
Suddenly, I'm thinking of Cee and how she was important to Tom and how there's nothing Tom can do about it now... and then my thoughts wander. "Peeta?"
"That's my name."
I smile. "I was just wondering – we talked a long time ago..."
"Kat, we talk a lot."
I roll my eyes. "Peeta!"
He laughs. "Sorry. Go ahead."
"You said you had a crush on someone. That..." I hesitate, because I'm scared of what the answer might be. "That she didn't like the idea of having a boyfriend. And I thought that was Lira."
Peeta nods slowly. "Yeah..."
"But it wasn't."
"It wasn't."
"Who was it?" I ask. It comes out softly. I think I still don't want to know what the answer might be, but I'm not sure why. I guess I might be a bit scared that what I have with Peeta will be lost when he gets a girlfriend. I mean, already, I'm losing what little I have with Gale because of Lira. I am happy, though, that he's turned away from me and is with someone else. Even better that it's someone I like. But Peeta's different; we've been good friends the past few weeks... through a lot. What happens if another girl gets in between?
Peeta frowns, looking down at his feet. "Kat, I'm pretty sure, that same day... I also asked you to leave it."
"Yeah. That day," I say.
"It's not important," he says. He said that when we last talked about this, too.
I cross my arms. "You were really upset that day, Peeta. You went by yourself for a few hours. And then that day at mealtime? You looked sick. Like you wanted to barf."
Peeta shrugs. "Well, that was a while ago. Four months, isn't it?"
I'm exasperated and about to argue, but then I ask myself: why am I exasperated? Peeta says it doesn't matter, so it shouldn't matter, right?
I open my mouth to say something else, but then Rue comes up to us. "I'm done," she announces quietly.
"Okay," says Peeta. "Let's go get ready for '22:00 – Bathing'."
As the three of us descend back down into District Thirteen, I take a moment to muse over the small... spat with Peeta.
I wasn't nearly this upset when Gale told me about Lira. I was happy when Gale told me about Lira. Because the chances of the Gale-Katniss dynamic returning back to normal were enlarged. Now, Gale didn't have to think about being in love with me, because he has Lira. With Peeta, though, and him not telling me the truth – because I know he isn't; if he weren't lying, he would tell me outright – it's just bothering me to no end.
And then...
I have to wonder...
What if the reason he won't tell me is if because the girl he likes is me?
I know nothing about boys, and the idea of one liking me is just... stupid. But this isn't just one, just a normal boy. This is Peeta, the kid from the town who could have any girl, be friends with any girl... and yet, he approached me. He welcomed me. He stood up for me against his mother. He let me be part of his family, his life. He willingly wakes up three, four times in the night to comfort me... lets me sleep in his arms so the nightmares go away.
And then my mind runs away from me: Why not? Why not? This is Peeta, after all. He's done all of that, and, if I'm right, he even likes me. It wouldn't be any different from the propos we've been doing the past few months, except it would be real, and I'd be comfortable with it.
Well, would I? Would I be comfortable with having Peeta as... more than what he is now?
"Katniss?"
I look up, startled. Peeta tilts his head sideways.
"You look a bit constipated." He smiles. "You okay?"
I smile. "I'm fine."
No. It was a strange thought... I would definitely not be comfortable with it. Remember Rue? How it would feel like to have people you love as bait? I can't risk loving any more people... especially not Peeta. I can't risk losing him. Losing anyone.
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