A/N: Finally got back to this fic and, gods, it feels good to be writing again! It's not a long chapter but I'm already working on the next and wanted to post something to let you all know I'm back around rather than waiting and posting a massive one later.

I know I keep saying this but I deeply appreciate all of you sticking around with this story as I come and go and going back to read your old reviews the other day gave me a massive kick in the pants. I can't tell you how great it is to read what people think of my work and know that you enjoy it.

I've mapped out the entire rest of the fic so I hope to finish it before you all join forces and take out your revenge on me for being so bad about updating! I promise that I will not leave you hanging indefinitely; I'm working on my dissertation so it won't be super quick but Kara and Lee and the rest will see some kind of closure. Hopefully soon(ish).

Anyway, here it is, I hope you enjoy it! I own nothing at all and see this type of fiction as a sign of respect and admiration for others' work rather than exploitation of it - and hope those that own BSG do too.


"Arhg," Kara groaned as she let go.

The heavy clang of the dumbbell hitting the floor echoed through the room despite the usual bustle of the PT gym.

Helo glanced up from his spot on the mat with a worried look.

Kara waved away his concern, flexing her arm and doing her best not to wince as the barely healed burns pulled painfully. She'd been cleared to restart her physical training a week ago but was still getting used to her new limitations.

Helo nodded as he grunted through his last set of crunches, recognising the look of frustration on Kara's face as she scowled down at the dumbbell.

Kara made the mistake of glancing up at the rest of the room. The velocity at which everyone managed to turn their heads away from staring at her could have set a new land speed record. She cursed silently before bracing herself to bend down and pick up the dumbbell to return it to the rack.

"Here, let me help you with that," a young man who looked vaguely familiar darted down and snatched up the weight with an ease that made Kara jealous.

"Don't want to overdo it," he said, with a forced chuckle as he reached across the to the rack and set the weight back in its place. "How are you, Lieutenant? Can I help you with anything else?" the concerned look on his face made Kara want to barf.

"You can go frak yourself," Kara said with a sugary pitying smile to match the young man's.

Without another word she stood up, grabbed her cane and limped heavily towards weight machines on the other side of the gym. The handful of deckhands who had been working out on them scattered as she approached.

Kara dropped onto the seat of the leg press before awkwardly reaching across to try and adjust the weight.

"Frak," she muttered as she realized she couldn't reach the adjustment knob.

"I got it, Starbuck," Racetrack's chipper smile grated on Kara's nerves like a dull rusty blade. "You're still taking it easy, right? How much do you want? A buck fifty? Two?"

Kara gritted her teeth, "sixty-five is good."

She watched in dismay as the younger pilot adjusted the machine for one hundred and sixty-five pounds of resistance. "Did I say one-sixty-five?" she snapped.

Racetrack's confusion and concern were obvious as she blinked at Kara.

"Do you understand English? I said sixty-five and that's what I meant."

"S-sorry," Racetrack muttered, darting to correct the weight, "I just assumed-"

"Yeah, well, you and everyone else can take your ass-uptions and shove 'em."

Racetrack didn't dare meet her eyes, "Sorry," she mumbled again before turning and all but sprinting out of the gym.

Kara bit down on the growl of rage that was brewing in her throat. Ignoring her own urge to scuttle away and hide, she grimly set her teeth and positioned her good leg against the plate to begin her set.

A few moments later Helo joined her, working his good leg on the machine next to her,

"Hanging in there, 'Buck?" he asked, his voice pitched low so only she would hear it.

Kara ignored him and pressed through the burning in her thigh.

"C'mon Kara, you okay?" he asked again.

Kara finished her last rep with her leg shaking and sweat pouring down her face. She turned to look at her friend and Helo recognised the flash in her eyes even before her voice snapped at him,

"Just fine, Helo. Thank you for asking after me with such consideration. Will you taking over as my new shrink now?"

Helo blinked at her. He'd expected some frustration but not the simmering boil of rage he saw written across her face.

"Seriously, are you? Are you my new shrink now? Everyone is so worried about me all the time that they can't stop asking how I'm doing, like it's any of their business, but I thought at least you were better than that. I thought at least we," she flung a finger gesturing back and forth between the two of them, "could still just hang out. I thought that our friendship would stay the same, that you at least could skip the bullshit around me. Why can't you just be Helo," she hissed.

"I thought I was just being Helo," he said, cocking his head slightly.

It took her a minute so he waited until she finally rolled her eyes and nodded begrudgingly.

"Seems to me that maybe you're just not being Starbuck," he said, his voice light. "I mean seriously," he continued, his eyes twinkling, "all you do is go around complaining and whining all the time and begging everyone to do everything for you. It's been over a month now and we're not your nursemaids, Kara. It's high time you stopped relying on everyone else so completely."

Her own eyes flashed for a moment before his easy grin tugged one onto the corner of her own mouth.

She groaned and rolled her eyes again, "Frak, you're an asshole," she laughed.

"Maybe," Helo puffed as he started his workout, "but you're the one with the taste shitty enough to have an asshole like me for a friend."

"This is true," she said, shaking her head sadly.

She got up and hopped to the next machine. Following Cottle's orders with meticulous care that she hoped Helo didn't notice, she removed her bulky brace and positioned her bad leg against the cushioned bar before taking all but the smallest weight off the resistance bar. Even with practically no weight to work against her, her knee was aching and her leg was trembling before she finished her prescribed sets.

Helo followed her on the circuit until they'd both finished. He handed her a bottle of water as they sat panting on the bench and waited until she'd taken a few slugs before he asked her again,

"So, you hangin' in there okay?"

Kara bit back the automatic response that danced on the tip of her tongue. She shrugged and took another drink, keeping her eyes carefully away from his searching looks.

Helo took the bottle back and drank some himself while he waited.

"I guess," she said finally. "I mean, things are still pretty frakked up but Cottle keeps saying I'm still on the mend so, you know, who's to say?"

"Tell me about it," he said, handing the bottle back.

"Still, hearing that alarm today and not being able to race out there with the rest of them…" Kara's voice trailed off and she took a quick slug of the water, closing her eyes and enjoying the coolness on her throat.

A group of new recruits came into the gym and their boisterous bravado was hard to ignore,

"Seriously, look at these pipes!" a young woman flexed her arms and grinned at her reflection in the wall of mirrors.

"I know!" replied one of her companions, turning this way and that to admire her own physique. "Best workout regime I've ever tried. If they sent out before and after pictures we'd have recruits beating down the doors."

"And it's true, what Apollo said," a third recruit piped up, patting his flat stomach appreciatively, "you need every pound of muscle you can get to fight against the G-forces once you're up there."

"Oh shut up, Meatball," the first young woman jeered good-naturedly as she flung a towel at his head, "and quit bragging. We're all gonna get up there soon, you just lucked out because your last name starts with A."

"And now that I've felt it?" he ducked away from the flying towel and ignored the comments, making a show of preening his hair in the mirror, "I'm gonna bust my ass twice as hard until I hold all the records," he jerked his head towards a list of names and numbers that covered most of the wall next to the hatch. "I aim to be the best pilot Galactica's ever seen and you can't own the bird if you don't have the strength to control it."

Helo watched as Kara's jawline tightened ever so slightly. Her gaze locked on the records wall.

Frak, he thought with a sigh, I knew I forgot something. He felt Kara tense up beside him so he spoke before she had a chance,

"They did it as a tribute to you, Kara," he said in a low, soothing voice.

The humming snarl that rumbled in her throat confirmed his fears that she wouldn't quite see it that way. He followed her gaze to the wall where the other pilots had added a poster next to the battered old blackboard where they recorded the ship's records for various PT drills and in-air-exercises. The poster read 'Starbuck's records' and had an old picture of Kara taped to the top with a list of all the records she'd held when she disappeared.

Looking at her own stupid grin on the top of that poster, Kara didn't know what to think.

What. The. Frak.

Helo was muttering something at her but she wasn't listening.

She didn't know if she should be insulted for the patronizing little stars someone had drawn around her name, infuriated that they'd singled her out rather than just moving on like they had with other lost pilots, or pissed off that so many of her records had been beaten. She took a closer look at the numbers and she felt sick.

Not all of her records had been beaten but they'd taken them all off the main list anyway. Dead pilots got to hold their records until someone else did better but all of hers had been copied over and saved in some kind of frakked-up shrine.

"Frak this," she cursed under her breath as she stood up and grabbed her cane.

"Starbuck," Helo said warningly.

She ignored him, lurched across the room and tore down the offending poster on her way out the hatch.

"Starbuck," Helo cursed as he dragged himself up onto his crutches and followed her.

She wasn't used to the cane yet and he caught up with her easily but didn't say a word as they walked along the empty corridor. They continued in silence for a while until Kara paused to lean against a stack of cargo boxes and finally spoke,

"Forget the records and the shitty patronizing sentiments, frak the nightmares and the pills, you know what's the worst thing of all?" she asked, as if their conversation hadn't been interrupted at all.

Helo pretended he didn't notice that she needed a break,

"Not being able to fly?" he asked softly.

Her eyes widened slightly in surprise before she nodded grimly.

"I know," Helo said gently, "I saw it on your face when those rookies were talking."

"Cottle says the combination of the PT and another surgery might get my knee back to where it needs to be but my lungs are still so frakked up I-" Kara's voice caught and she immediately swung back out into the corridor and hurried along the steel gangway, the off-step rhythm of her awkward gait echoing after her.

Helo followed after her doggedly. She'd let him catch up when she wanted him to.

Eventually her pace slowed a little and he rejoined her as they hop-stepped up a short staircase.

"He said the surgery could be as early as next week, right?" Helo asked, puffing a little at the exertion of keeping up with her. "And he got you on that cane earlier than he thought so you must be getting better. You could be back up there in no time."

Kara snorted, "He keeps saying 'maybe next week' but yesterday he said he was worried the PT was actually doing more harm than good and that we'd have to 'wait and see' before doing anything else. Sometimes I think he's just saying that to keep me from freaking out but that in the end…" her voice trailed off- she couldn't finish the thought, let alone say it out loud.

"Kara, you're the toughest pilot in the fleet, if anyone can come back from these injuries, you can."

"That's still a big if, Agathon," she said grimly, puffing a little herself.

Changing tactics, Helo tried again, "So, worst case scenario, you can't fly and you have to live your life with the knowledge that your incredible tactical skills and almost preternatural understanding of airborne flight mechanics saves the fleet from inside the CIC or training room, and not the cockpit, is that really so bad?"

Kara stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him like he had just suggested she should strangle a kitten with her bare hands.

"What?" he shrugged in frustration, "No one else has said it yet but you know what, Kara?" He drew himself up and braced for the onslaught he knew he was inviting, "Maybe it's time someone did. Maybe it's time someone said it wouldn't be the worst thing in all the worlds if you can't ever fly again."

She recoiled as if he'd slapped her.

"There's more to you than just being a viper jock, Kara. You have other talents and you don't have to hang everything you are, everything you're worth, on just that one thing!"

"This isn't about some frakked-up ego trip, Helo!" she cried. Although she had to admit to herself that his words did strike a bit of a chord, that wasn't really all that was bothering her. She shook her head angrily, "Sure, I like being 'a pilot', I liked being the best damned pilot, but it's not just about that. It's about being up there, about pushing my limits and being better than I thought I could be. It's about the flying and how it makes me feel. It… it makes me feel… whole. It makes me feel more like my real self than anything else ever has. It's where I'm meant to be, it's what I'm meant to do. Just me and my bird, nothing else, no one else, just me and my bird; and there's nothing else like it."

A frantic energy shone out of her eyes as she struggled to make him see, as she begged him to understand, "It's not just about being a pilot, Helo, it's about being able to fly. And the thought of never being able to be that version of myself again, it's- frak! It's like I've lost a limb or one of my senses or something. It's like a part of me, the best part of me, was hacked off and I'm left here just…" she paused and drew a very shaky breath, "I thought maybe at least you'd understand a little of what I'm going through. I mean, I heard Cottle talking to Lee and it's not like you're ever-"

As they left her mouth, Kara realized what she was saying and wished more than anything that she could reach out and snatch the words back from the air between the two of them. She stared down the hallway, biting her lip, inwardly cursing her big stupid mouth.

"Kara," his voice was gentle. "Kara, look at me. Please?" he coaxed.

Her eyes flicked to his, ready to dart away again if they found the deep hurt she expected. Instead, she saw nothing but a faint friendly smile.

"I'm not a pilot like you and Apollo," Helo said softly with a small shake of his head and a shrug. "I liked flying once I finally got out of the ECO seat. Believe me, it was a lot of fun and the fulfilment of a lifelong dream. But-" he ducked his head to level his eyes with hers, "getting you home? That was better than any gods-damned rush I ever got in the cockpit."

Kara let out a frustrated a slightly guilty sigh, "Helo, that's not what I– if it were reversed-"

"I know," he interrupted her firmly, "I know that you would have given a lot more than your leg to save me if the positions had been reversed. But that's not what I meant. I just meant that I don't mind it all that much. You would have given anything you could to save me but you still would have felt like you'd lost a part of yourself if you couldn't fly because of it."

Kara looked away again, slightly embarrassed that he was right.

"Hey," he reached out and grabbed one of her arms in a gentle grip, "I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. You would have given up flying, and everything it means to you, to save me, and that tells me more about our friendship, about your loyalty and sense of duty, than anything ever could. Just because you'd miss it more doesn't make you anything less. Frak it, Kara, that would make it a bigger sacrifice, wouldn't it? All I'm trying to say is that I'm happy with the decisions I made and I am so frakking happy to have you home that losing my flight status hardly seems like anything at all."

Kara forced herself to stare him down, "Fine, it's not the same to you but still, you said it yourself, it was a lifelong dream and now you've lost that. Because of me," she forced down the tears that welled up at the thought of his sacrifice. "If it weren't for me you wouldn't have reinjured that leg and you'd still be up there being the pilot you always wanted to be. Lee told me that while I was gone you worked your ass off and were becoming one of the best pilots we had."

She watched as his eyes went misty. The fingers wrapped around her biceps tightened as he gave her a gentle shake,

"Because you were gone I worked my ass off! Up there I couldn't think about anything but flying, couldn't think about you or Sharon or the baby or any other part of all this frakked-up shit that's gone on. While you were gone? That's when I felt like part of me was missing, that's when I felt strange and cut off from my real life. You're my family, Kara. You're the only family I have left, besides Sharon and the baby, and that situation is so frakked up I don't even-" he shook his head in dismay, "Anyway, now that you're back, pissing me off and being your usual pain-the-ass-stubborn-as-hell, self? I don't even think about flying anymore."

She scoffed as she nodded her head in sarcastic agreement, "Sure."

"Kara! Frak, you make me nuts!" he gave her another shake, "Why is it so hard for you to believe that I would do something like this willingly for you? Why can't you accept what you mean to me, to all of us?"

She blinked back the rush of tears that caught her by surprise, "Helo, I- It's not that I don't appreciate it- I just… Frak it, I-" her stuttered half apology was cut short when he tugged her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

"Gods damn it, Kara, I'm so frakking happy you're home," he whispered into her hair as silent tears rolled down his cheeks.

She wrapped her arms around his lean frame and held on fiercely.

"So am I," she half-chuckled, half-sobbed, into his chest.

It took her a moment or two but she finally breathed out the two words that had been clinging to the back of her throat ever since Lee had told her an abbreviated version of her rescue,

"Thank you."

She wasn't even sure if he heard the reverent whisper.

Until the arms around her tightened slightly,

"Anytime, Starbuck," came the whispered reply, "anytime."

With Kara safely back in her room, Helo went looking for Cottle.

*BREAK*BREAK*BREAK*

"Hey Doc," he said as he swung across the main ward, "got a sec?"

Cottle looked up from the hand that he was dressing, "Gimme a

second to explain to Rodriguez here that human hands are not meant to handle piping hot metal and I'll be all yours," he grumbled.

A few minutes later he motioned Helo towards an empty exam bed.

"Uhm, is there somewhere we can talk more privately, sir?" Helo asked in a low voice.

Cottle stared at him for a moment before gesturing for Helo to follow him down the hall to his office. Sinking into his battered desk chair, the doctor dug out a cigarette and snapped open his lighter.

"So, what's on your mind, Lieutenant?" he puffed out in a cloud of smoke. "I told you that that leg is going to take time. Running on leg torn up by a fresh gunshot that went right through a mess of old scar tissue doesn't leave me much to work with. Still, if you're in a lot of pain, I can try to do something about that."

Helo shook his head, "no sir. I'm not here about my leg."

"Well, if it's about that girlfriend of yours, I don't have much to say about that other than the fact that as far as I can tell she and the baby seem healthy."

Helo shook his head again, "Thank you for keeping an eye on her-them, sir, but no, that's not it either."

"Well, spit it out, boy," Cottle growled.

"I'm here to talk to you about Kara," Helo said.

"Thrace? What about her? You know I can't talk to you about her medical records."

"I know that, sir, but it's just that I was with her in the gym today and she said that you're worried the PT is actually making things worse with her leg?"

Cottle nodded hesitantly.

"And, well, I think that the gym isn't the best place for her to be hanging out... Uhm, you know, with the other pilots and... I was just wondering if there's something else she could be doing that would be more helpful? I know Kara and she's determined to get back in the cockpit as soon as she can and I'm thinking that maybe she's going to hard on the strength training when something else might be better and thought that if I knew what that something was, maybe I could…" he trailed off.

"Maybe you could trick her into doing what she should be doing?" Cottle finished for him with a smirk.

"I wouldn't say 'trick' to her face but, yes, perhaps I could find a way to persuade her to try something else."

Cottle nodded in understanding, "She can be an ornery bitch sometimes."

The tension on Helo's face broke apart as he grinned down at the doctor, "Yes sir, she can."

Cottle leaned his elbows on the desk and puffed away on his cigarette for a few moments, "As it stands, working out in the gym is her only option, really, and yes, I am concerned that some of those exercises might be putting too much strain on her knee. They also make it easy for her to push just a little harder with an extra set or extra couple of pounds. The answer to your question then is, yes, there are other activities she could be doing for PT that might work better for both her knee and her lungs. The issue, however, is that given our current situation, none of those methods are available to us."

Helo waited, hoping there was a 'but' following the sentence.


A/N: And there you have it, folks. I dunno about you but I have a thing for supportive and caring Helo (can you tell? lol). Stay tuned for chapter 30, more angst darkness to come!...